+1 to being physically exhausted every day. My toddler is also having some separation anxiety and is being super clingy. By the end of the day my body is aching! H works evenings, but he's going to switch to days so he can help me out at night. I can't wait!
@depineta where I work most people get a doctor's note to allow them to bypass the metal detectors. I've been told that the research (I believe mostly on flight attendants) doesn't show that it's a danger but I just went with it since, although it took them a couple weeks to approve it, I figured why not do that if it wasn't too complicated because people have done it fairly regularly.
+1 for being more tired earlier in a second (3rd) pregnancy. I'm ok at 5 pm but I try not to stop or sit down til I'm done doing everything that needs doing, because it gets really hard to get going again. I'm 21w but I can't believe the back and joint aches that have already begun. Pregnancy does not improve with age/time.
In these (almost) 20 weeks of pregnancy, we've done 3 hospital tours, done about 5 hours of stroller research, an hour of babywearing research, visited 6 daycares and it still feels like there is more work and research to be done. It feels neverending! I can't figure out if motherhood is supposed to be overwhelming or if I'm just doing this to myself and I should relax a little.
So, I'm team feed the baby however is best for you but I really, really want to breastfeed. My desire isn't out of some sort of mommy guilt or expectation but simply because it's something I yearn to do. I signed up for a breastfeeding class and picked up "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" thinking I could prepare myself as best as possible and do everything I can to be successful and if it doesn't work, at least I'll know I tried everything. I just started reading TWABF and I'm finding it a bit sanctomonious and alarmist. I'm really disappointed. I expected it to be "pro-breastfeeding" obviously, but I didn't expect it to be so formula shaming. I was hoping it would help me feel more confident about bf but I'm worried it's going to make me anxious about it not working. Any BTDT mamas have any thoughts? Should I keep reading? For those who have read it, do you think I'll be able to cherry pick the information I need and ignore the other stuff?
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@MRSCORKER, I think you can stop reading. The last straw for me with TWABF was the chapter about being away from your baby, which boils down to "Sure, you can pump and stuff, but if you really love your baby, you'll quit your job and not go on any trips" (which sure made me feel better about the writing retreat I'd been looking forward to for months and months). KellyMom.com has good information and is a bit less sanctimonious.
TWAB gets better. It really is an amazing book once you get into the nitty gritty. The ages and stages chapters and the trouble shooting chapters are very helpful to many moms. Not many moms really read into the other philosophy sections and that's totally fine. I'm a leader with La Leche League International and for most moms who pick up that book I tell them to read ages and stages and trouble shooting. The organization philosophy stuff is irrelevant to the average mom.
I also want to emphasize that many of those philosophy beliefs are in the process of changing on an organizational level. The next edition probably won't include them at all. Please don't let those sections turn you off from the book as a whole.
If you want, I can recommend several other books that are really good and easy to read. My personal favorite is Breastfeeding Made Simple by Nancy Mohrbacher. Very straightforward.
Please let me know if you have any breastfeeding questions. I'm totally happy to answer them or direct you to great resources. I promise I'm not an alarmist or extreme
I haven't personally read that one yet but it's on my list. I have read Working and Breastfeeding Made Simple and found it to be good. Many of the other mothers in my group liked it, too.
Thanks @TurtleMomma! I'll give it another shot. I was just taken aback at first. I'll look into the other books you mentioned as well. I'll be going back to work after 9 or so weeks so I'll definitely need advice on pumping and keeping the bf relationship afloat!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
Darn, @mrscorker, I got that book too and was looking forward to it. It's nice to have a warning. I will be in your same position so let me know if you have reviews of the other breastfeeding/pumping books.
I actually think it would be better for baby to know its most basic needs can be met by more than just mom.
I don't know how the hospitals in everybody else's areas work, but I know at my hospital they hooked me up with a lactation consultant after delivery and that helped me out tremendously as a FTM who knew next to nothing about BFing. She SHOWED me the right and wrong, dos and don'ts, and answered ALL the questions I had and gave me lots of reading material and a breast pump. I think most hospitals offer that. Also, she was super supportive and didn't cram it do my throat as THE only thing to do.
I don't know how the hospitals in everybody else's areas work, but I know at my hospital they hooked me up with a lactation consultant after delivery and that helped me out tremendously as a FTM who knew next to nothing about BFing. She SHOWED me the right and wrong, dos and don'ts, and answered ALL the questions I had and gave me lots of reading material and a breast pump. I think most hospitals offer that. Also, she was super supportive and didn't cram it do my throat as THE only thing to do.
My hospital, I think also has a lactation consultant and offers a breast feeding class which I plan on taking... they recommend to bring TWO people to support? That seems odd to me, but I'm a FTM so what do I know lol
You guys. My 1 year wedding anniversary is Monday and a few months ago I bought us tickets to go see Gabriel Iglesias (aka Fluffy) in vegas, our hotel room and tickets to the neon museum for next week as an anniversary trip. Of course I told the husband about this because he needed to plan for the trip. Last week he tells me that it DOESN'T COUNT as a present because he's not getting in the day of, and it's not PAPER! WTF?! I mean, I'm kind of laughing it off, but I really think he's expecting something else on monday lol. I'm more of an experience type of person, and I'm learning he's more of a material things type person. GAHHHHHH!
I'm thinking maybe a photo album? Let's hope I come up with something in the next 2 days lol.
The philosophy & general tone of TWABF is bizarre to me regarding pumping. I mean, IT'S STILL BREASTMILK y'all. And I can't imagine how that makes moms of preemies feel. I'm glad to hear they will change things for next edition, because I so often hear that the book makes women feel judged & shamed *before they even have a baby* which is some powerful stuff.
There are so so many crazy circumstances that people go through regarding BFing (latch problems, supply problems, nipple/breast infection, etc etc) and while I'm 100% pro give-it-your-best-shot, there's seriously no trophy for BFing for x-amount of time. Just like there's no prize for a natural birth, or winning all the mommy wars.
We had a great LC who was super helpful and amazing and came over 1-3x a week for a month or more and I still ended up EPing for over a year (with some BFing here & there but DS self weaned at 10 months, little bugger). He would just fall right asleep within a minute or two of nursing, and nothing could keep him awake. Weight loss was crazy- that's not healthy for a newborn. Ugh, I could go on but suffice it to say that you have to keep your kid healthy & you healthy, and you've done your job if you can do that.
@NoraAurora I totally get what you mean by feeling judged before you even have your baby. I don't feel judged per-se but I do feel even more anxious that it won't work. Also, there was a whole section on your breasts preparing to breast feed and that's why they're sore during first tri and if they weren't sore you should consult your doctor or something. It totally made it sound like you won't be able to breast feed unless you had fire boobs for all of first tri which I very much did not. I'm going to keep reading because I do feel that I can gain some good information and I don't see it as a reflection of LLL in general. I still plan to seek out a group near me for support and guidance. I'm just a little more anxious about the whole process now and I bought the book so that I would feel less anxious and more prepared.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@MRSCORKER - I definitely agree that there's good info in the book, just go into it knowing that the non-factual stuff is very much non-factual. For example, moms that continue to nurse their toddler during their pregnancy are usually NOT going to have fire boobs throughout their pregnancy, or else it would be near impossible to nurse. I was still pumping when I got pregnant this time, and I had zero boob symptoms until second tri (months after I weaned from the pump).
I think maybe the author(s) had some kind of backward psychology manipulation thing going in which their intention was to prep FTMs for the challenges of BFing and they just went too far with it. Believe me, BFing IS hard. But it's a learning curve, and it doesn't stay hard forever. Or at least the challenges change as baby ages...at first it's just learning how to make it work and keep your nips healthy, then worrying baby is getting enough, then it becomes nursing in public....then when baby gets old enough to get distracted by EVERYthing & pops on & off all the time etc.
It can be a very positive relationship or a negative one. I think it's all about getting the support you need and monitoring your own feelings about it. And if or when it becomes a negative thing for you and/or baby, you just have to know it's time for a change (and this is where the toxic shaming thing/mommy guilt can come in). I clearly have too much to say on the subject though & am getting ahead of myself here! I will save the rest of my rants for once the babies are here
Thanks @NoraAurora! I'm just trying to prep as much as possible. The whole thing about the painful boobs being linked to successful breastfeeding really freaked me out. I'm a FTM and while I had a little tenderness, it wasn't anywhere near "pain" and it disappeared when I got to 2nd tri. I'm seeing other small changes (enlarged/slightly darker areolas, new bumps around the nipple, etc) but zero pain. I just want this work!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@MRSCORKERI can assure you that not having sore breasts during pregnancy does NOT mean you won't be able to breastfeed. I didn't have any breast soreness with my first pregnancy (or so far with this one) - my breasts barely went from tiny to slightly-less-tiny while I was pregnant (boo). I ended up having an oversupply of milk with my first and we breastfed until he was almost 2. What weird advice for a pro-breastfeeding book to give!
@MRSCORKERI can assure you that not having sore breasts during pregnancy does NOT mean you won't be able to breastfeed. I didn't have any breast soreness with my first pregnancy (or so far with this one) - my breasts barely went from tiny to slightly-less-tiny while I was pregnant (boo). I ended up having an oversupply of milk with my first and we breastfed until he was almost 2. What weird advice for a pro-breastfeeding book to give!
This makes me feel so much better, thanks!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@Julia70286 Get him a card with a homemade coupon for a massage or something (paper!)... A trip to Vegas sure sounds like a gift to me!! How about the comedy tickets? Paper! We just celebrated our first anniversary last weekend and I planned an overnight and a dinner out. Also framed a picture of him playing golf to fulfill the "paper" requirement! I'm all about the experience, too, and you sure went above and beyond!!
@LMNOBaby I know, right?! I don't know if maybe he was joking? You know what's not laughing? My bank account! Ooooh well. I've decided to go pick up a sketchbook and turn it into a journal type thing that we can record different things about our year together each anniversary, like places we visited, movies we saw, concerts we went to, favorite new restaurants ect. Something sentimental and paper lol... Done and done!
@Julia70286 - I was recently in your husband's situation. My husband planned a surprise trip to the mountains as a Mother's Day, Birthday, and Babymoon trip all in one. It was a week before my actual birthday and I have to admit... I was really hoping he would get me something tangible on my actual birthday. I was thinking something small, like maybe my favorite Bath and Body Works bubble bath or something. I felt selfish for wanting something at all, but the desire was there- that, I can't deny!
I think your tangible gift for him is great! He'll love it!
@copperboom86 You're right, a little something tangible is nice. I'm so opposite of that, that I need to remember that he thinks differently than me and I would never want him to feel slighted or anything. And thank you for the reassurance on the gift! I was about to walk out the door to the craft store and was second guessing myself! Off I go! I'm gonna do it! lol
wowww November has some drama! apparently some of them already broke off and made a separate group. starting to unravel in the thread about ticker changes. (I am SO BORED while my husband is watching wwe)
@mrszoess for real? Why are they fighting? I gotta check it out!
I'm exhausted from hosting brunch this morning. The prep started yesterday, I cleaned the house, went to the grocery store. I started at 7am and didn't stop till 2pm. I was so tired! I had to lay on the couch for 2hours before I could move again.
I don't know for sure but I do know that Nov. 16 had a "troll", she figured out how to block basically anyone who disagreed with her and went on a posting spree posting things that had already need addressed several times but she couldn't see the posts because she had everyone blocked. I think it was really ruining the board for a lot of people and she started using the report button as a dislike button before blocking so regular posters were getting the ban hammer. I'm pretty sure that's why a private group was started. I'm just a second hand observer so obviously don't know the details and I could have it all wrong so don't take my word for it
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
Re: Weekly Randoms (May 9)
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
E born 6/2014
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
TWAB gets better. It really is an amazing book once you get into the nitty gritty. The ages and stages chapters and the trouble shooting chapters are very helpful to many moms. Not many moms really read into the other philosophy sections and that's totally fine. I'm a leader with La Leche League International and for most moms who pick up that book I tell them to read ages and stages and trouble shooting. The organization philosophy stuff is irrelevant to the average mom.
I also want to emphasize that many of those philosophy beliefs are in the process of changing on an organizational level. The next edition probably won't include them at all. Please don't let those sections turn you off from the book as a whole.
If you want, I can recommend several other books that are really good and easy to read. My personal favorite is Breastfeeding Made Simple by Nancy Mohrbacher. Very straightforward.
Please let me know if you have any breastfeeding questions. I'm totally happy to answer them or direct you to great resources. I promise I'm not an alarmist or extreme
I haven't personally read that one yet but it's on my list. I have read Working and Breastfeeding Made Simple and found it to be good. Many of the other mothers in my group liked it, too.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
I actually think it would be better for baby to know its most basic needs can be met by more than just mom.
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
I'm thinking maybe a photo album? Let's hope I come up with something in the next 2 days lol.
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
There are so so many crazy circumstances that people go through regarding BFing (latch problems, supply problems, nipple/breast infection, etc etc) and while I'm 100% pro give-it-your-best-shot, there's seriously no trophy for BFing for x-amount of time. Just like there's no prize for a natural birth, or winning all the mommy wars.
We had a great LC who was super helpful and amazing and came over 1-3x a week for a month or more and I still ended up EPing for over a year (with some BFing here & there but DS self weaned at 10 months, little bugger). He would just fall right asleep within a minute or two of nursing, and nothing could keep him awake. Weight loss was crazy- that's not healthy for a newborn. Ugh, I could go on but suffice it to say that you have to keep your kid healthy & you healthy, and you've done your job if you can do that.
I'm going to keep reading because I do feel that I can gain some good information and I don't see it as a reflection of LLL in general. I still plan to seek out a group near me for support and guidance. I'm just a little more anxious about the whole process now and I bought the book so that I would feel less anxious and more prepared.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
I think maybe the author(s) had some kind of backward psychology manipulation thing going in which their intention was to prep FTMs for the challenges of BFing and they just went too far with it. Believe me, BFing IS hard. But it's a learning curve, and it doesn't stay hard forever. Or at least the challenges change as baby ages...at first it's just learning how to make it work and keep your nips healthy, then worrying baby is getting enough, then it becomes nursing in public....then when baby gets old enough to get distracted by EVERYthing & pops on & off all the time etc.
It can be a very positive relationship or a negative one. I think it's all about getting the support you need and monitoring your own feelings about it. And if or when it becomes a negative thing for you and/or baby, you just have to know it's time for a change (and this is where the toxic shaming thing/mommy guilt can come in).
I clearly have too much to say on the subject though & am getting ahead of myself here! I will save the rest of my rants for once the babies are here
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
I think your tangible gift for him is great! He'll love it!
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
Going to the meetings while pregnant will be really helpful because it will give you more positive exposure on the subject. Try not to fret right now
I'm exhausted from hosting brunch this morning. The prep started yesterday, I cleaned the house, went to the grocery store. I started at 7am and didn't stop till 2pm. I was so tired! I had to lay on the couch for 2hours before I could move again.
Pregnancy is exhausting!
I'm currently working up energy to shower. I made dinner and im beat. (and baby is
moving and I don't want her to stop)
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16