@JennM205 sorry for all the added stress! My husband is a developer and just started a new job 2 weeks ago and is kind of going through the same thing, although no where near as fast paced. I think anytime someone starts a new job you go through a period of self doubt because learning something new is hard and it is easy to freak out a little. You being the closest to him will always get the brunt of his stress, just don't take it personally. It will pass soon!
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Just need to rant for a moment - I am feeling down on myself because I learned this morning that I got a lower grade than I needed in one of my accounting classes. This means that I will need to redo the class again and I feel so discouraged knowing this. It is so tiring working full time, going to school until 9 PM at night, studying in my free time and fighting constant fatigue. I still haven't started my registry or bought a crib, my housework is taking a backseat to everything, I lost a side diamond out of my engagement ring yesterday (wtf?!), I want to have a pity party tonight and chill with Netflix in bed and instead I have a liabilities assignment due tomorrow and need to spend my evening doing that instead. ARGH!! I am taking 6 months off of school at the end of June and I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but I just don't see it yet.
Taking a deep breath, thanks for listening. Just needed to get that off my chest.
@LakeR2014 I had a man (that I don't much care for on a good day) tell me I "wasn't actually supposed to eat lunch meat while pregnant". One, not my first rodeo, so did he think I didn't know that? Two, I'll decide whether I think the incredible low risk of Listeria is worth my Turkey sandwich or not. Three, not his kid and not like, as a man, that he remotely gets what it is like to be pregnant.
@Megan324 Did they actually say "your condition"? Is this 1950? I would have said something sarcastic back about how next time I'd bring a doctor's note that says up to 200 mg of caffeine a day is safe for women "in my condition".
@JennM205 I know what it's like when your husband gets too hard on himself. I don't have the greatest advice because we still struggle with this as a married couple. I usually just try to reassure him that I'm here for him and have faith in him that he can do it (whatever the "it" he's worried about may be). And then take things one day at a time. I'm sorry his stress is carrying over to you, and hope it gets better soon.
@lissvarna I loved spicy food so much when I was pregnant for my first daughter. Haven't noticed it so much this time. This could also be why my heartburn seems not as bad this time...
Has anyone else seen the study that just came out about swaddling leading to higher rates of SIDS? I saw that is was really for incorrect swaddling, but it's making me uncomfortable because articles about it keep popping up in my fb feed from what feels like everyone. Ugh
@Steephers123 I did see that...the article admitted that there wasn't a consistent definition of swaddling in each study. It's an interesting study and definitely something to pay attention to, but there could be so many other factors that play a role in the study as well (sleeping on stomach/side, sleeping on an incline, pacifier vs. no pacifier etc.). Swaddling can be a crucial part of a baby's sleep routine, so I'm not going to shy away from it, but I will try to be that much more vigilant!
@Steephers123 - to be honest, I was never really comfortable with swaddling. I'm afraid I'll do it too tightly, or too loosely, or just all wrong. I don't think we'll swaddle much, maybe only when we're actually holding the baby, but that has less to do with the study and more to do with my own comfort level.
@geminigirl16 I feel ya! I'm in school too...working full time, and I have a toddler. It's exhausting. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other. It WILL get better, it's just hard to see at this point!! You got this Mama!
@Sbrown721 Yes, I saw that and it's total junk science + sensational headlines. John Oliver just did a segment last week about this sort of thing. Watching it may reduce your anxiety about swaddling.
I also think the study was over-sensationalized by the media. They noted the biggest increase is when the babies were put on their backs or sides - which is a placement that is already known to increase sids risk.
@lissvarna I've always loved spicy food, but I'm all about it now. My babies apparently love hot food, because if it's a option, I go for it. The hotter the better.
@steephers123 I saw that and got mildly freaked out, but I'm not overly concerned by it. I personally think it's just sensationalism and the new scare topic. I'm not saying it doesn't make me nervous (because I'm terrified of something happening to my boys), but I'm taking it with a grain of salt. There's an inherent risk involved in infancy and I'm not really sure that I believe that this is something to be seriously concerned about. I'm keeping my eyes and ears open, but as of right now, it's not going to scare me off of swaddling if my babies sleep better because of it.
My random of the day is that DH finally felt Baby B kick for the first time last night! Until now he's only felt Baby A (our wild child). He got so adorably excited and then he pouted when it stopped and kept trying to get him to do an encore.
@Megan324 I'm so amazed at how well you kept your cool! I would've been beyond mad!
@JenM205 I am sorry to hear about your husband's stress cloud that's covering your home right now. I'm sure it will get better as he gets more acclimated to his new job. Maybe plan something small, like grabbing an ice cream cone, to give him some levity and remind him that the chores will still be there tomorrow?
@steephers123 I saw that, but then the article I read said that the issue was really with babies who are strong enough to roll over- which is when everything I've seen says is time to stop swaddling. The whole thing seems to be lacking in supporting data anyway.
@geminigirl16 Rough day! Here's hoping things get better ASAP!
@lissvarna I have been all about craving spicy food, but every time I give in the heart burn makes me sorry!
I'm glad to know everyone else had responses similar to mine on the study. I kept thinking, okay these seem like fairly common sense things about swaddling but with a ton of people on my feed up in arms I figured I was missing something! Ah, the age of clickbait
Don't forget that when we were babies (well, me, because some of you are way younger) the recommendation was for baby to sleep on its stomach, crib bumpers were fine, car seats in the front seat were acceptable, drop side cribs were prevalent, etc, etc. Safety recommendations are constantly changing. We can't keep our babies in a bubble. Just try our best to follow the current recommendations to keep them safe.
@geminigirl16 -- you've got a ton on your plate! I'm sorry about the grade. But good luck on your assignment. June will get here and then hopefully you can treat yourself to loads of netflixing! You'll certainly deserve it!
@steephers123 -- I saw that too and, as the others have said, it seems it's a lot more about swaddling improperly. I will probably try to stay away from too much swaddling after the first weeks this time, but not because of the study. More because weaning my son from the swaddle was a nightmare! If we can make it through with just sleep sacks this time, we will.
Also, my appetite lately has been similar to or less than my pre-pregnancy appetite. But today. Oh my word! I am ravenous! And I have no snacks in the house.
@Steephers123 I saw the article as well. As I skimmed through it, it was only for placing your swaddles baby on their side or belly... Which we already know is a no-no. I'm not too worried about it. I'm a firm believer swaddling is fine as long as used safely, baby only on their back and only until they can roll. The other thing I was thinking was bad swaddling seems to lend itself more to suffocation.. SIDS is not suffocation. We have no idea what causes SIDS... babies can stop breathing for no known reason, with nothing blocking their airway. I plan to swaddle this baby and pray I never have to deal with SIDS.
@geminigirl16 -- bad day or not, I just saw your HDBD pic and you are looking like you are ready to kick some a$$! way to go! That dress is seriously awesome. Go rock out that assignment!
@kosmo86@camichael84@AlwaysAuntNeverMom@blondie080300@UnwritteN12@Sporty1216@marikkita12@cassloumy Thank you all so much for your responses and suggestions regarding DH's stressful new job. He changes jobs every year or two and it's always like this...I guess I had forgotten and the added stress of a toddler and a pregnancy this time around certainly isn't helping! I'm relieved to hear there are others who have experienced the same (or similar). I talked to DH at lunch and he says today is going a little bit better - instead of trying to keep up with every keystroke the trainer makes, he's sitting back and observing which is allowing him to "digest" more of the lesson.
@kosmo86 What kind of developer is your husband? Mine is a web developer - a mixture of both front and back end in his previous roles but will be 100% back end in an enterprise-level software this time around.
ETA: @blondie080300Great idea about hiring out some of the jobs around the house. DH and I had talked about bringing in a cleaning service to do a one-time deep clean of the house but were debating about whether or not it is worth the cost. But I think I just decided. As soon as we close on the sale of our old house next month, I'm taking some of that "extra" money and just going for it. We deserve it and it will be well worth the reward!
@JennM205 there's something about that career as my DH is a web developer too. He can get really down on himself and be really proud of himself a week later. It's a stressful line of work! Good thing he's feeling better and has a plan
JennM205 DH does mostly back end development (he HATES front end) codes primarily in c# but does some other stuff too. He has had to do some front end stuff with this new job and he hates that part. I actually work in the biz too, I am a SQL database developer and I either have nothing to do or am up to my eyeballs in work. I can't tell you how many times I haven't slept because I got stuck on something at work and for then it plagues my dreams for hours!
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Hi all!! I had lots of replies and forgot them all.
Drink coffee, eat lunch meat, live your life, treat yourself. Every new job needs 6 months to feel good in, can't rush things in the first week of training.
This might be TMI, but I felt terrible today and I thought that something might be wrong with the baby. I was driving home from the store when this intense pain started coming in waves. Being a FTM I thought "omg, are these Braxton Hicks contractions? Are these real contractions?!?!" Turns out I just really had to poop!
@cassloumy I doubt you are in labor, but that is totally how my labor started. It took 3 hours before I realized, "oh, these are contractions!" I just thought I was having a stomach bug because I kept having to use the bathroom and then started to throw up (it was also 6 weeks before my due date, so labor was not on my mind)
@Sporty1216 thanks for the kind and supportive words! I feel more motivated - funny how sometimes just verbalizing/writing things out helps.
@JennM205 I second @blondie080300 on the hiring someone to help out. My fiancé and I shell out for a housecleaning services every two weeks and it has been a life saver! In my opinion, worth every penny right now.
@kosmo86@AlwaysAuntNeverMom@JennM205 my hubby is also a web developer! it definitely depends on the project he is given - sometimes he loves it and is so excited and other times he is either bored or not interested and can be totally bummed about work
LADIES!! Reese's is going to be releasing Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with Reese's Pieces inside of them!!! My heart just skipped a beat! It's like they know we're pregnant!!!
I also think the study was over-sensationalized by the media. They noted the biggest increase is when the babies were put on their backs or sides - which is a placement that is already known to increase sids risk.
Sorry to be that person, but I think you mistyped and I just want to correct you FTR in case any swaddling newbs are taking notes. The biggest increase for sids risk was when babies were placed on their STOMACHS or sides. Placing your baby on his/her back is the ONLY acceptable way to place a swaddled infant.
Swaddling a baby and placing him on his stomach or side:
Finally back! My sister, her boyfriend and his kids were displaced by wildfires in her town, and has been staying here for a week.. so it's been a busy house.
My a/s went great! They said everything looks good and I have an envelope with the sex in it burning up my purse. Baby wasn't too active but enough for the tech to get all the shots, even a good 3D ofthe face. Will put full story in the a/s tomorrow.
Re: May Randoms Thread
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Taking a deep breath, thanks for listening. Just needed to get that off my chest.
@Megan324 Did they actually say "your condition"? Is this 1950? I would have said something sarcastic back about how next time I'd bring a doctor's note that says up to 200 mg of caffeine a day is safe for women "in my condition".
@JennM205 I know what it's like when your husband gets too hard on himself. I don't have the greatest advice because we still struggle with this as a married couple. I usually just try to reassure him that I'm here for him and have faith in him that he can do it (whatever the "it" he's worried about may be). And then take things one day at a time. I'm sorry his stress is carrying over to you, and hope it gets better soon.
July: Patriotic Fails
and @Steephers123 I was just reading that
https://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/05/john-oliver-took-on-junk-science-last-night-and-it-was-glorious.html
@steephers123 I saw that and got mildly freaked out, but I'm not overly concerned by it. I personally think it's just sensationalism and the new scare topic. I'm not saying it doesn't make me nervous (because I'm terrified of something happening to my boys), but I'm taking it with a grain of salt. There's an inherent risk involved in infancy and I'm not really sure that I believe that this is something to be seriously concerned about. I'm keeping my eyes and ears open, but as of right now, it's not going to scare me off of swaddling if my babies sleep better because of it.
My random of the day is that DH finally felt Baby B kick for the first time last night! Until now he's only felt Baby A (our wild child). He got so adorably excited and then he pouted when it stopped and kept trying to get him to do an encore.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
● IUI #3: BFN
● IUI #4: BFN
● IVF/FET #1 (2 transferred): BFP! TWINS!
● FET #2 (1 transferred): BFP! BOY #3!
● Natural #1: BFP - M/C @ 8 weeks
● Natural #2: BFP - M/C @ 5w5d
@JenM205 I am sorry to hear about your husband's stress cloud that's covering your home right now. I'm sure it will get better as he gets more acclimated to his new job. Maybe plan something small, like grabbing an ice cream cone, to give him some levity and remind him that the chores will still be there tomorrow?
@steephers123 I saw that, but then the article I read said that the issue was really with babies who are strong enough to roll over- which is when everything I've seen says is time to stop swaddling. The whole thing seems to be lacking in supporting data anyway.
@geminigirl16 Rough day! Here's hoping things get better ASAP!
@lissvarna I have been all about craving spicy food, but every time I give in the heart burn makes me sorry!
July: Patriotic Fails
@steephers123 -- I saw that too and, as the others have said, it seems it's a lot more about swaddling improperly. I will probably try to stay away from too much swaddling after the first weeks this time, but not because of the study. More because weaning my son from the swaddle was a nightmare! If we can make it through with just sleep sacks this time, we will.
And Pilotswifey, I admire you doing school with a toddler, work and pregnancy..wow!
@kosmo86 What kind of developer is your husband? Mine is a web developer - a mixture of both front and back end in his previous roles but will be 100% back end in an enterprise-level software this time around.
ETA: @blondie080300 Great idea about hiring out some of the jobs around the house. DH and I had talked about bringing in a cleaning service to do a one-time deep clean of the house but were debating about whether or not it is worth the cost. But I think I just decided. As soon as we close on the sale of our old house next month, I'm taking some of that "extra" money and just going for it. We deserve it and it will be well worth the reward!
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Drink coffee, eat lunch meat, live your life, treat yourself.
Every new job needs 6 months to feel good in, can't rush things in the first week of training.
@JennM205 I second @blondie080300 on the hiring someone to help out. My fiancé and I shell out for a housecleaning services every two weeks and it has been a life saver! In my opinion, worth every penny right now.
Swaddling a baby and placing him on his stomach or side:
Swaddling a baby and placing him on his back:
@mom2adoodle what is 3things tuesday?
Hope everyone had a great mother's day & is doing well!