@taylorj513 I think you should consult a family lawyer to protect yourself. One thing my mom told me when my dad walked out on the family (we were 8 years old) is that all you could never fathom to happen to you, can actually happen to you.
So, you want to defend him & tell us all he will be a great partner/spouse. That's cool, but I'm sure that's exactly what his Ex said when she had kids by him. I'm very interested to know how old his ex-partner is?
I want to be wrong. I want the best for you, but you need to think Murphy's Law.
What are your plans if this man bails? • How would you support yourselves? • how would you get the child support your child deserves? • where would you live?
Keep in mind that is not just for purposefully abandoning you. What if he's unemployed? In jail? Dies unexpectedly or becomes disabled?
These are all the Adult Things & thought processes that you don't gravitate towards because reality has yet to trout-slap you. You are still young & living in a dream world in your brain.
I'm concerned for you. I'm 32 & I can't imagine sex with anyone under age 20. My cousins are 18. I changed their diapers & taught them to use the loo. I can't see a well adjusted, mentally stable person thinking it's alright to bed & impregnate a child that's barely learned to drive & isn't even out of school yet.
so, I want to say I care about you as a human & I want you to take some serious information from this thread. We want to help you. Please listen!
I hope the best for you. If you are open to honest support and feedback (Im not positive you are, but you keep posting threads as though you are) then I would recommend getting a mental health counselor to support you through this journey. You will likely not accept advice or feedback from family/friends, but perhaps you would enjoy meeting with an unbiased person who could hear your whole story, provide you the support you need, hook you up with necessary resources, and continue to be your support in to the future.
Reality is, because of the age difference and laws surrounding those, this relationship will be judged. I would look side-eyed if you were 22 and he was 34. 12 years is such a large age difference in terms of life experiences, maturity, and goals. But it wouldnt be against the law. Your original question was whether or not putting him on the birth certificate would cause legal repercussions. It would appear, from research that other bump posters did (on your behalf), that it is likely that if you put him on the birth certificate he will run the risk of being labeled as a sex offender. This would mean that he could have less access to his children from the previous relationship, potentially have no access to your child without supervision, and would not be allowed to go to school functions or any other area where children are present. Personally I believe this is what he deserves. He made a choice to engage in a sexual relationship with a minor and I am assuming he was well aware of your age at the time. But I am sure that it is not what you would want to see for him, since you obvious have care and love for him.
I do truly wish you the best. But most of all I wish you a ridiculous amount of support and love as you move forward in this journey. May you become the best mother that your child could ever wish for. Just remember that it is impossible to do it on your own. The old adage of "it takes a village" is true. We are all here to support one another and you deserve as much support as the rest of us.
Note: Counseling can be free in many situations. Since you are pregnant, I would recommend looking at your community health department first for recommendations. Also, get more information on postpartum depression and know the signs and symptoms. You have so much on your plate right now and baby isnt even here yet. With all you are hoping to accomplish when baby comes (school, work, caring for 3 young children, etc) you are putting yourself at more risk of PPD. Im not saying you cant do it, I just want you to already have the supports in place just in case you need them.
I'm 29, my neighbors and friends have children who are 16. I could never imagine having a relationship with one of them. What does your family think about this?
Also @PrimRoseMama brings up excellent points: what are your plans should he lose a job? Become disabled? Things happen that you're not planning on right now.
Does he work weekends when he has his other children? If so will you be responsible for watching them? As a mom I would have problems with my (theoretical) ex husband's 16 year old fiancé watching my young children all day.
Since you've made it clear that you are going to stay, regardless of what all these older and wiser women are telling you, I shouldn't waste my time telling you that I, too, was in a relationship with an older "man" when I was sixteen (although not nearly as old as your fiancé). I shouldn't bother telling you that I, too, thought I was definitely mature enough to become engaged and get married, or that marrying him was one of the top five biggest mistakes of my life (and I've made some monumentally stupid decisions), that it ended badly just like everyone said it would, and that a dozen years later, my child and I are still paying for my stupidity. You're not going to listen. What I will try to tell you is this: go back to school. Please, please, for the love of everything you hold dear, go back to school. Don't wait until your fiancé leaves you, or loses his job and "can't" get another, or until his immaturity forces you to leave. Don't even wait until your sweet baby is born, just do it now! While getting your actual diploma is always better, the ged is actually stupid easy to pass, and may free up your time to squeeze in some college or even just a trade school. You can get financial assistance, I promise. Do not abandon your education. I can honestly and without hesitation say that had I stayed in school, my life would have been better, and so would my child's. Good luck to you, sweetheart.
I disagree that OP is a child. First, there's a lot of maturity in her responses--both the tone and the language. Secondly, she's a parent, she no longer has the luxury of childhood. Personally, I remember being 16. I had an apartment, a job, paid taxes and went to school. I was completely independent in a way that many 20-somethings aren't, and while I didn't date Bc I was too busy, I certainly didn't consider myself below the age of consent legally or ethically. People mature at different rates.
This is is not to advocate for a relationship that began at too early an age. In this OP, I have to agree, even if there was a strong connection, the physical side should not have been pursued by him until years down the line. That speaks to his maturity level, not yours.
My sister met the love of her life a month after turning 18; he was 30. It was love at first sight, but he felt ridiculous pursuing someone so much younger and he slow rolled the relationship... for years. They got married 6 years later, and just celebrated their 5th anniversary. Still no kids. They were very unique in that my sister and he had so much in common and could grow together, despite the age difference and her youth. But he had the respect for her to not to pursue her until she was emotionally mature enough to handle that level of relationship with a much older adult.
My question for you to consider is: did this person show you the respect you deserved and observe the limitations of your age? Because he did not, how will he treat you in the long term? How will he treat your son? how much does he lean on you, vs how much does he lift you up? You are at a stage and place where you should receive the bulk of support from your loved ones. Your life and his should be about you; how will he help you stay educated? How will early childbirth affect your health? How will he help you manage the emotions/ stressors of early parenthood? NOT how hard he works, or his battle for his kids, or if he goes on the birth certificate. This is a thread about him, but it should be a thread about you. That is a major concern.
I disagree that OP is a child. First, there's a lot of maturity in her responses--both the tone and the language. Secondly, she's a parent, she no longer has the luxury of childhood. Personally, I remember being 16. I had an apartment, a job, paid taxes and went to school. I was completely independent in a way that many 20-somethings aren't, and while I didn't date Bc I was too busy, I certainly didn't consider myself below the age of consent legally or ethically. People mature at different rates.
This is is not to advocate for a relationship that began at too early an age. In this OP, I have to agree, even if there was a strong connection, the physical side should not have been pursued by him until years down the line. That speaks to his maturity level, not yours.
My sister met the love of her life a month after turning 18; he was 30. It was love at first sight, but he felt ridiculous pursuing someone so much younger and he slow rolled the relationship... for years. They got married 6 years later, and just celebrated their 5th anniversary. Still no kids. They were very unique in that my sister and he had so much in common and could grow together, despite the age difference and her youth. But he had the respect for her to not to pursue her until she was emotionally mature enough to handle that level of relationship with a much older adult.
My question for you to consider is: did this person show you the respect you deserved and observe the limitations of your age? Because he did not, how will he treat you in the long term? How will he treat your son? how much does he lean on you, vs how much does he lift you up? You are at a stage and place where you should receive the bulk of support from your loved ones. Your life and his should be about you; how will he help you stay educated? How will early childbirth affect your health? How will he help you manage the emotions/ stressors of early parenthood? NOT how hard he works, or his battle for his kids, or if he goes on the birth certificate. This is a thread about him, but it should be a thread about you. That is a major concern.
Clearly he did NOT. Given that she is now pregnant.
I haven't seen this mentioned, but please consider giving your baby up for adoption. This situation is going to end horribly, and the last person who should have to pay for it is your baby. There are many ways to still be involved in his life.
I won't continue to repeat what other posters have said, but this is just a sad, sad situation for you and your baby.
I'm 29, my neighbors and friends have children who are 16. I could never imagine having a relationship with one of them. What does your family think about this?
Also @PrimRoseMama brings up excellent points: what are your plans should he lose a job? Become disabled? Things happen that you're not planning on right now.
Does he work weekends when he has his other children? If so will you be responsible for watching them? As a mom I would have problems with my (theoretical) ex husband's 16 year old fiancé watching my young children all day.
She has said in other posts that she will be watching all 3 children (Ages 6, 5 and NB) all day on Saturday and Sunday while he works.
OP, when I was 17 I was dating a 28/29 year old guy. I didn't get pregnant with him, but I moved in. I ended up leaving him two years (and a proposal I said yes to) later, for different reasons. I really did love the guy, and plan on spending the rest of my life with him. I just wanted to reach out a helping hand, let you know that I've been kind of close in your shoes (and my sister had her first at 17, but her boyfriend was also 18) and if you ever wanted to message me to please do. No judge on your guy, or on you.
OP, you have still not even recognized that this man is a pedophile. A 28 year old man being with a teenager is anything but normal. You are so young and still have so much to learn. For the sake of your son stay away from him. I'm truly worried that your picture will end up on a milk carton.
She came on here asking for an answer to a birth certificate question. Not comments on her relationship. I am NOT in any way saying i agree with her relationship but it is not my place to put judgement where it isn't asked for. Regardless of her age she seems to have a good heart and really does beleive what she is doing is best for her child. Just like with so many things, cloth diapers, breastfeeding, (cont.)
And circumcision, whether you agree or not, not mother should be judged on those decisions because ultimately she is doing what she believes is best. I was in an abusive relationship at 17 where everyone warned me to get out of but I had to realize how toxic it was on my own before I got the nerve to leave, so even though you feel as though you need to express concern, she will do what she wants until she sees things on her own. She isn't answering specific posts because she didn't ask for opinions. And even if she did take the comments on as people attacking her, and not as advice, she is pregnant and emotional as are we. I know sometimes I react to things more emotionally than normal now that I'm pregnant. The most you can do is pray that she ultimately does what is best for her and her son. However the choice is all hers, regardless of our beliefs, we can't make up her mind.
She came on here asking for an answer to a birth certificate question. Not comments on her relationship. I am NOT in any way saying i agree with her relationship but it is not my place to put judgement where it isn't asked for. Regardless of her age she seems to have a good heart and really does beleive what she is doing is best for her child. Just like with so many things, cloth diapers, breastfeeding, (cont.)
Yes, but her question regarding the birth certificate was if he would get in trouble if she put him on there. On some level she knows their relationship is wrong and while most everyone here is judging him, there's no judgment of her. Regardless of if she thinks she's doing the right thing for her child, the fact remains that she needs to see the harsh reality that he has some issues that she needs to be prepared for. We all want her to continue school because, otherwise, when he inevitably leaves, she'll be stuck in dead end jobs struggling to provide for her child.
I think she understands that it might be illegal, but in her mind she might not understand it is wrong. I keep thinking of myself when I was in a toxic relationship and I knew our relationship wasn't normal but I would still defend it to the end, as she is. I understand no one is judging her, but she doesn't see it that way, probably because of all the crazy hormones! She does need to understand the situation, as did I back then, but nothing anyone says will sway her mind until she recognizes the situation and loves herself more. And I hope she finishes school also. I'm pregnant and am still in school continuing my education, if she sets her mind to it, she can do it and make the best life for her child.
Let me add that if she was my daughter I would be furious and do everything I could to keep him from her and the baby, but I don't know her, and there is nothing I can do except hope and pray that she finds a way to make the best life possible for her and the baby.
Let me add that if she was my daughter I would be furious and do everything I could to keep him from her and the baby, but I don't know her, and there is nothing I can do except hope and pray that she finds a way to make the best life possible for her and the baby.
Hoping and Praying is fine. However she posted on a public forum. You and she can't dictate the responses. She posted she didn't want to hear about the relationship. This proves deep down she knows something isn't right. Sometimes you need to hear over and over the truth not just what you want to hear or hear nothing because you aren't asking for advice on that. People not being honest isn't going to magically make things ok and better because we all prayed and hoped it would. The OP got nothing but supportive advice here and true concern. Avoiding the topic because she didn't ask doesn't help her. Hell hearing all the advice might not either but maybe just maybe at some point it did hit her or it will hit her to at least reach out to someone IRL for advice or to at least talk to them. I and I think almost all the other posters here can't just sit and NOT comment because she didn't ask. She won't be asking IRL for the judgement either but it will be there. You are right that she needs to figure it out on her own however we can only hope that the multiple advice and true concern that she received would make that happen sooner vs later. There are 4 pages of people being honest but also extremely supportive to the OP. It's not 4 pages of people being mean or rude to her.
Like I said I completely understand that what everyone said was meant for support and not judgement. I did see people commenting saying how she made up her mind, calling her immature, and bringing up how she didn't comment back. I personally don't think saying she's immature will help get her to listen, but I'm just saying maybe she isn't responding to certain comments because they didn't answer her direct question.
Like I said I completely understand that what everyone said was meant for support and not judgement. I did see people commenting saying how she made up her mind, calling her immature, and bringing up how she didn't comment back. I personally don't think saying she's immature will help get her to listen, but I'm just saying maybe she isn't responding to certain comments because they didn't answer her direct question.
Are you referring to people calling her a "child"? Because if you are, she is a child. That's not the same as being "immature".
Also, just about everyone here who responded to her did, in fact, answer her direct question. Adding their two cents about the obviously inappropriate relationship is their prerogative.
She needs to hear from people who are older, wiser and more experienced, whether she asked for it or not. Unfortunately you can't dictate people's responses...that's not how the Internet works.
This exactly. Why point out and highlight the few and far between "judgey" comments when probably 95% of the things said here were genuine, positive advice and supportive commentary? I see people saying negative things all of the time but when they are the vast minority, it's pretty easy to just overlook it and focus on the good...
I hear what you're saying and lots of us have acknowledged that OP likely won't listen. I can only speak for myself, but I would not sleep at night knowing that I read this thread and didn't at least try to help her see things a different way. @Carlina18
I am just going to reply, and I haven't read all the comments. I'm not going to post anything about your relationship because it isn't any of my business and by the way- congratulations on the baby. I have had a couple experiences in the family with similar situations. Although I do live in a different state... both father's were 8&10 years old than my sisters. First sister was 14 dad was 22, second was 13 dad was 23. Both father's faced repercussions- their mother (we have different mothers) pressed charges as their legal guardian. I wish you all the best! They made motherhood work and are now both married to the fathers, first sister has 3 kids now and the second has 6 (not saying this will happen for you)! PLEASE just stay in school and just do all you can and the best you can to take care of your bundle of joy! It IS possible!
Congratulations on baby, and I do believe you should put him on birth certificate so in case things don't work out he will be hold accountable for your son's sake, I wish you best of luck honey
I am just going to reply, and I haven't read all the comments. I'm not going to post anything about your relationship because it isn't any of my business and by the way- congratulations on the baby. I have had a couple experiences in the family with similar situations. Although I do live in a different state... both father's were 8&10 years old than my sisters. First sister was 14 dad was 22, second was 13 dad was 23. Both father's faced repercussions- their mother (we have different mothers) pressed charges as their legal guardian. I wish you all the best! They made motherhood work and are now both married to the fathers, first sister has 3 kids now and the second has 6 (not saying this will happen for you)! PLEASE just stay in school and just do all you can and the best you can to take care of your bundle of joy! It IS possible!
My mom was 16 and my dad was 31 when they had me. In case you want to know your future...they split when I was 5. My mother experienced so much trauma from the experience she got into drugs and serious drinking. We were eventually taken away by the state. I didn't live with either of my parents after that. Foster homes, grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc until I turned 18. I have a brother and a sister. Want to use is as a case study? Only two of us graduated high school. One went to college then grad school. Two have been arrested. One had serious jail time. One had a child just after 18 then another with someone else at 24. One was in an abusive relationship. One has a drug problem.
This doesn't happen to everyone who gets pregnant as a teen but try to make an adult decision based on the fact that now you're going to be a mother and you are responsible for someone else.
@DominiqueU Like I said, they did face repercussions. Both sisters are married to them and are happy as can be. So they did something right. As long as whoever is happy is happy, as long as the kids are taken care of, it is what it is. Kids make mistakes, we can't fix those mistakes but we can support them if the mistakes are severe enough to change their lives.
I am just going to reply, and I haven't read all the comments. I'm not going to post anything about your relationship because it isn't any of my business and by the way- congratulations on the baby. I have had a couple experiences in the family with similar situations. Although I do live in a different state... both father's were 8&10 years old than my sisters. First sister was 14 dad was 22, second was 13 dad was 23. Both father's faced repercussions- their mother (we have different mothers) pressed charges as their legal guardian. I wish you all the best! They made motherhood work and are now both married to the fathers, first sister has 3 kids now and the second has 6 (not saying this will happen for you)! PLEASE just stay in school and just do all you can and the best you can to take care of your bundle of joy! It IS possible!
@DominiqueU Like I said, they did face repercussions. Both sisters are married to them and are happy as can be. So they did something right. As long as whoever is happy is happy, as long as the kids are taken care of, it is what it is. Kids make mistakes, we can't fix those mistakes but we can support them if the mistakes are severe enough to change their lives.
Did they go to jail for several years? Because that would be the only appropriate repercussion.
@DominiqueU Like I said, they did face repercussions. Both sisters are married to them and are happy as can be. So they did something right. As long as whoever is happy is happy, as long as the kids are taken care of, it is what it is. Kids make mistakes, we can't fix those mistakes but we can support them if the mistakes are severe enough to change their lives.
Did they go to jail for several years? Because that would be the only appropriate repercussion.
And registering as a sex offender too.
ETA: yes KIDS make mistakes, but adults should know better than having sex with 13 and 14 year old children! I don't blame the girls at all, but I'm disgusted at the adults in the situation.
ETA: yes KIDS make mistakes, but adults should know better than having sex with 13 and 14 year old children! I don't blame the girls at all, but I'm disgusted at the adults in the situation.
100% yes to this! This is what we were talking about on an earlier page about grooming. What possibly could a person 12+ years older than a child have in common with them. At 16, you're a sophomore or junior in high school, just learning to drive, getting your first taste of freedom, you should be worrying about prom. What adult wants to be worrying about prom? Getting updated on the latest high school drama?
@DominiqueU Like I said, they did face repercussions. Both sisters are married to them and are happy as can be. So they did something right. As long as whoever is happy is happy, as long as the kids are taken care of, it is what it is. Kids make mistakes, we can't fix those mistakes but we can support them if the mistakes are severe enough to change their lives.
I'm sorry, but that is still so wrong. Apparently the "repercussions" weren't severe enough if they still felt like they could be within 100 yards of, let alone continue being intimately involved with, your sisters. They were children and these men were men. And those men should be in jail or at least have to notify their neighbors whenever they move.
I can't imagine having/raising kids with someone who had sex with a child to make said kids. The types of adults who are sexually attracted to children should never be put in a situation to have access to children, like parenting ffs.
Eta: The handful of people on here who seem to be dismissing pedophilia just because they know of situations that have 'worked out' astounds me. Add to that the fact that the same people are having children themselves? Ladies, tell your college age friends and family to look into becoming therapists and social workers, the job field looks to be ripe.
I'm not dismissing anything. But I'm also not going to sit here and make this young girl feel bad about her situation. My sister's situations are not mine. And my personal opinions don't change what happened, or what the OP is going through.
I'm not dismissing anything. But I'm also not going to sit here and make this young girl feel bad about her situation. My sister's situations are not mine. And my personal opinions don't change what happened, or what the OP is going through.
But you are going to resurrect a dying thread.....again?
No. To groom her into being whatever kind of girl he wants. That's why such an older guy would go for a young girl. She isn't even grown up yet so he can "groom" her to his needs. No woman established in herself would put up with being groomed.
No. To groom her into being whatever kind of girl he wants. That's why such an older guy would go for a young girl. She isn't even grown up yet so he can "groom" her to his needs. No woman established in herself would put up with being groomed.
Re: My baby's father is 28 and I'm 16, help
I think you should consult a family lawyer to protect yourself. One thing my mom told me when my dad walked out on the family (we were 8 years old) is that all you could never fathom to happen to you, can actually happen to you.
So, you want to defend him & tell us all he will be a great partner/spouse. That's cool, but I'm sure that's exactly what his Ex said when she had kids by him. I'm very interested to know how old his ex-partner is?
I want to be wrong. I want the best for you, but you need to think Murphy's Law.
What are your plans if this man bails?
• How would you support yourselves?
• how would you get the child support your child deserves?
• where would you live?
Keep in mind that is not just for purposefully abandoning you. What if he's unemployed? In jail? Dies unexpectedly or becomes disabled?
These are all the Adult Things & thought processes that you don't gravitate towards because reality has yet to trout-slap you. You are still young & living in a dream world in your brain.
I'm concerned for you. I'm 32 & I can't imagine sex with anyone under age 20. My cousins are 18. I changed their diapers & taught them to use the loo. I can't see a well adjusted, mentally stable person thinking it's alright to bed & impregnate a child that's barely learned to drive & isn't even out of school yet.
so, I want to say I care about you as a human & I want you to take some serious information from this thread. We want to help you. Please listen!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Reality is, because of the age difference and laws surrounding those, this relationship will be judged. I would look side-eyed if you were 22 and he was 34. 12 years is such a large age difference in terms of life experiences, maturity, and goals. But it wouldnt be against the law. Your original question was whether or not putting him on the birth certificate would cause legal repercussions. It would appear, from research that other bump posters did (on your behalf), that it is likely that if you put him on the birth certificate he will run the risk of being labeled as a sex offender. This would mean that he could have less access to his children from the previous relationship, potentially have no access to your child without supervision, and would not be allowed to go to school functions or any other area where children are present. Personally I believe this is what he deserves. He made a choice to engage in a sexual relationship with a minor and I am assuming he was well aware of your age at the time. But I am sure that it is not what you would want to see for him, since you obvious have care and love for him.
I do truly wish you the best. But most of all I wish you a ridiculous amount of support and love as you move forward in this journey. May you become the best mother that your child could ever wish for. Just remember that it is impossible to do it on your own. The old adage of "it takes a village" is true. We are all here to support one another and you deserve as much support as the rest of us.
Note: Counseling can be free in many situations. Since you are pregnant, I would recommend looking at your community health department first for recommendations. Also, get more information on postpartum depression and know the signs and symptoms. You have so much on your plate right now and baby isnt even here yet. With all you are hoping to accomplish when baby comes (school, work, caring for 3 young children, etc) you are putting yourself at more risk of PPD. Im not saying you cant do it, I just want you to already have the supports in place just in case you need them.
Also @PrimRoseMama brings up excellent points: what are your plans should he lose a job? Become disabled? Things happen that you're not planning on right now.
Does he work weekends when he has his other children? If so will you be responsible for watching them? As a mom I would have problems with my (theoretical) ex husband's 16 year old fiancé watching my young children all day.
What I will try to tell you is this: go back to school. Please, please, for the love of everything you hold dear, go back to school. Don't wait until your fiancé leaves you, or loses his job and "can't" get another, or until his immaturity forces you to leave. Don't even wait until your sweet baby is born, just do it now! While getting your actual diploma is always better, the ged is actually stupid easy to pass, and may free up your time to squeeze in some college or even just a trade school. You can get financial assistance, I promise. Do not abandon your education. I can honestly and without hesitation say that had I stayed in school, my life would have been better, and so would my child's.
Good luck to you, sweetheart.
This is is not to advocate for a relationship that began at too early an age. In this OP, I have to agree, even if there was a strong connection, the physical side should not have been pursued by him until years down the line. That speaks to his maturity level, not yours.
My sister met the love of her life a month after turning 18; he was 30. It was love at first sight, but he felt ridiculous pursuing someone so much younger and he slow rolled the relationship... for years. They got married 6 years later, and just celebrated their 5th anniversary. Still no kids. They were very unique in that my sister and he had so much in common and could grow together, despite the age difference and her youth. But he had the respect for her to not to pursue her until she was emotionally mature enough to handle that level of relationship with a much older adult.
My question for you to consider is: did this person show you the respect you deserved and observe the limitations of your age? Because he did not, how will he treat you in the long term? How will he treat your son? how much does he lean on you, vs how much does he lift you up? You are at a stage and place where you should receive the bulk of support from your loved ones. Your life and his should be about you; how will he help you stay educated? How will early childbirth affect your health? How will he help you manage the emotions/ stressors of early parenthood? NOT how hard he works, or his battle for his kids, or if he goes on the birth certificate. This is a thread about him, but it should be a thread about you. That is a major concern.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
consider giving your baby up for adoption. This situation is going to end horribly, and the last person who should have to pay for it is your baby. There are many ways to still be involved in his life.
I won't continue to repeat what other posters have said, but this is just a sad, sad situation for you and your baby.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
I was in an abusive relationship at 17 where everyone warned me to get out of but I had to realize how toxic it was on my own before I got the nerve to leave, so even though you feel as though you need to express concern, she will do what she wants until she sees things on her own.
She isn't answering specific posts because she didn't ask for opinions. And even if she did take the comments on as people attacking her, and not as advice, she is pregnant and emotional as are we. I know sometimes I react to things more emotionally than normal now that I'm pregnant.
The most you can do is pray that she ultimately does what is best for her and her son. However the choice is all hers, regardless of our beliefs, we can't make up her mind.
Also, just about everyone here who responded to her did, in fact, answer her direct question. Adding their two cents about the obviously inappropriate relationship is their prerogative.
She needs to hear from people who are older, wiser and more experienced, whether she asked for it or not. Unfortunately you can't dictate people's responses...that's not how the Internet works.
This exactly. Why point out and highlight the few and far between "judgey" comments when probably 95% of the things said here were genuine, positive advice and supportive commentary? I see people saying negative things all of the time but when they are the vast minority, it's pretty easy to just overlook it and focus on the good...
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
@Carlina18
This doesn't happen to everyone who gets pregnant as a teen but try to make an adult decision based on the fact that now you're going to be a mother and you are responsible for someone else.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
ETA: yes KIDS make mistakes, but adults should know better than having sex with 13 and 14 year old children! I don't blame the girls at all, but I'm disgusted at the adults in the situation.
Eta: The handful of people on here who seem to be dismissing pedophilia just because they know of situations that have 'worked out' astounds me. Add to that the fact that the same people are having children themselves? Ladies, tell your college age friends and family to look into becoming therapists and social workers, the job field looks to be ripe.
What kind of respectable man sleeps with a 16 year old GIRL!?
I would seek out professional advice, and possibly mental health therapy.