For everyone feeling guilty or struggling with BF — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

For everyone feeling guilty or struggling with BF

I posted this in FFCF but wanted to make sure everyone got a chance to see it since it led to some very interesting discussions with my friends:

If anyone read "Expecting Better" you are familiar with Emily Oster- here is an article she wrote on BF that I really liked that might make a lot of us feel better: http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/

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karynste19claireloSC

Re: For everyone feeling guilty or struggling with BF

  • Thanks for posting! Interesting read!
  • Thanks for this info Mommyduclos! Lots of good stuff for us all to think about!

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    ChrissyD1203
  • I definitely agree with her that a lot of the studies are deeply flawed, however when you study breastmilk it's pretty amazing. The breastmilk changes in composition based on the age of the nursing child. If the child is fighting an illness the baby's saliva will essentially tell that to mom, who will then produce antibodies in her milk to help baby fight the illness, breastmilk changes composition based on time of day for example it has higher contents of melatonin at night to help baby sleep. It really is just an amazing relationship where the breast provides exactly what baby needs. When my two older kids would get sick it was amazing how much less sick/ faster healing time the currently breastfed child had than the non breastfed child. I think it's kind of like the organic vs non organic debate or eating regular meat vs the non treated, grass fed, free range blah blah blah. Is it healthier for you and likely to cause some improved health? Yeah, but is the alternative likely to make you super sickly and sad? No. Though some people are much more sensitive to their diet choices than others. Also, she fails to address the many health benefits of breastfeeding for mothers too.

    Anyways- are we comparing diamonds to rocks here? No- both are perfectly acceptable ways to feed your baby! And I don't think any mother should feel bad for formula feeding. Ever. If it's right for her and baby it's the right choice. However, I think the biggest issue is there's still a lot of flawed information about breastfeeding- specifically women thinking they have low supply when they don't and how to handle supplementing (when necessary) in a way that doesn't damage the mom's ability to nurse if she wishes to. It doesn't make me sad when people choose to formula feed, what makes me sad is when women who really want to nurse are unable to and I would venture to say that a large majority of the time it is not truly due to an actual inability to nurse (which does happen but is extremely rare) but rather lack of support, help, or poor information given. We have improved in great strides, but there's still a lot of incorrect information floating around that is causing a lot of perfectly capable women to have a failed breastfeeding relationship. So as someone who strongly supports breastfeeding my concern is not whether or not it's "better" it's why so many wonderful women who want so badly to nurse are unable to? We are coming at this issue from the wrong angle- we don't need to prove to women that it's the better choice we need to improve societal views (like those lovely people who compare nursing to pooping) and work on truly educating our medical professionals to create the highest success rates possible for woman who DO want to breastfeed.

    Women who want to formula feed should feel totally confident to go ahead and do so, BUT women who want to breastfeed should be able to do so as well- the "failure" rate shouldn't be as high as it is. Our bodies are more than capable- a great majority of the time, so what are we doing wrong to impede our natural abilities? That's what I want to know and see change rather than more studies about which is better.

    So much this.
    ChrissyD1203ctmamaoftwoKFrob
  • What is the point of keeping a healthy lifestyle, eating organic etc and then feed the baby highly processed artificially created full of chemicals concoction ? Sure you may feel better and nipples would not hurt, but what about the health of the baby you cared so much for 9 months of pregnancy. Formula maybe convenient, but don't call as good as breast milk. Why do you call to adapt this "mediocre is good enough" mentality?
    Just the fact, that my breast milk will protect my baby from infections is good enough for me and I don't care how much my nipples hurt
    mthoomomHipshaker
  • @scornwell717 thank you for articulating that so perfectly! You have nothing to feel bad about, I too was formula fed and was always at the top of my class, rarely sick as a child, and have always been just as healthy and well adjusted as my peers. Personally I plan on trying to breastfeed but I won't feel even slightly guilty if it doesn't work out and I need to switch to formula and I hate people who shame women for feeding their baby in the way that works best for them.

    scornwell717Rach8672BarrettJ89
  • @012016 yes to everything you said...laughing so hard at the prenatal vitamins. Sooo true :tongue:
    Becky012016
  • And @karynste19 amen to what you said too!
  • 012016 said:
    What is the point of keeping a healthy lifestyle, eating organic etc and then feed the baby highly processed artificially created full of chemicals concoction ? Sure you may feel better and nipples would not hurt, but what about the health of the baby you cared so much for 9 months of pregnancy. Formula maybe convenient, but don't call as good as breast milk. Why do you call to adapt this "mediocre is good enough" mentality?
    Just the fact, that my breast milk will protect my baby from infections is good enough for me and I don't care how much my nipples hurt
    Stop being a troll and try being supportive of a different point of view for once. Clearly, you're perfect and everyone else who chooses formula is beneath you. 4 for you Glenn Cocoa...
    This is my point of view. Unfortunately you have a problem understanding written words. Formula is like a medicine created for real problems and should not be called equal to breast milk
  • LIly436LIly436
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  • AchaeAchae
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    Based on your doctoral degree and evidence from... Oh in your head.
    shrsri
  • Becky012016Becky012016
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  • scornwell717scornwell717
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    LIly436 said:



    LIly436 said:

    What is the point of keeping a healthy lifestyle, eating organic etc and then feed the baby highly processed artificially created full of chemicals concoction ? Sure you may feel better and nipples would not hurt, but what about the health of the baby you cared so much for 9 months of pregnancy. Formula maybe convenient, but don't call as good as breast milk. Why do you call to adapt this "mediocre is good enough" mentality?
    Just the fact, that my breast milk will protect my baby from infections is good enough for me and I don't care how much my nipples hurt

    ** Removed for TOU violation **

    Maybe formula to blame that you are unable to have a civilized conversation. Some people have legitimate problems, but majority just don't want to bother, thanks to articles like above. All I am saying is don't say formula is equally as good - it is not

    Formula is to blame that I'm unable to have a civilized conversation? Hahaha you are batshit insane.
    At least my formula fed brain is smart enough to understand the concept shaming and bullying and how wrong it is.
    GAgirlinSDakotahannahduff3BarrettJ89
  • This helps me feel a little better. I'm mostly breast feeding but my nipples are so sore, and baby is 2 weeks old tomorrow and is still 5oz below birth weight and hasn't gained any weight in over a week. Her Ped wasn't adamant that I supplement yet, but sometimes I wish he would be so that way I would have "no choice" but to supplement and it wouldn't be my decision. I give her formula some nights whenever I'm just too tired to deal with breast feeding. I'm just so stressed out thinking about having to pump now to get a freezer stash going for when I go to work. Especially since I barely Can get anything from pumping. I'm scared if I formula feed that I won't have that bond with my baby, and the thought of losing my milk supply because of switching to formula and not being able to have the option to breastfeed if I want makes me sad. I think if she hasn't gained weight by her appointment next week I'll switch to formula temporarily to help her gain and use the opportunity to exclusively pump for a little while to keep my supply up. Everyone I talked to keeps saying breastfeeding gets easier eventually and that it's worth the struggle. I just really really hope they're right
  • babybluu said:

    This helps me feel a little better. I'm mostly breast feeding but my nipples are so sore, and baby is 2 weeks old tomorrow and is still 5oz below birth weight and hasn't gained any weight in over a week. Her Ped wasn't adamant that I supplement yet, but sometimes I wish he would be so that way I would have "no choice" but to supplement and it wouldn't be my decision. I give her formula some nights whenever I'm just too tired to deal with breast feeding. I'm just so stressed out thinking about having to pump now to get a freezer stash going for when I go to work. Especially since I barely Can get anything from pumping. I'm scared if I formula feed that I won't have that bond with my baby, and the thought of losing my milk supply because of switching to formula and not being able to have the option to breastfeed if I want makes me sad. I think if she hasn't gained weight by her appointment next week I'll switch to formula temporarily to help her gain and use the opportunity to exclusively pump for a little while to keep my supply up. Everyone I talked to keeps saying breastfeeding gets easier eventually and that it's worth the struggle. I just really really hope they're right

    I have to say I gave it a shot for 6 weeks with my first and it never got easier. This time around we are at day 10 and it is definitely getting easier. I am holding of giving a bottle until 1 month so until then she has to be with me which is a little suffocating, but worth it if I can continue to breast feed successfully and save the money from formula, and not have to deal with bottles all the time. We will see how I do when I go back to work and have to pump twice a day but for now being home it is working.
    MississippiCatfishbabybluu
  • @babybluu all of your concerns are valid, but don't once think you won't have that bond with your baby! If you do have to switch to formula, I promise you that bond will be just as good as it always is :)
    MississippiCatfishsaraellenMTheliops
  • @babybluu, I was worried about bonding too as LO wouldn't latch. She's never fed from my breast, but gets a mixture of BM and formula in a bottle.

    When I feed her, I keep eye contact with her, talk to her, sing to her, smile a lot. She'll also reach up often and grab a finger on the hand that's holding the bottle. The bond I feel with her is awesome and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
    MississippiCatfishsaraawlbrsaraellenMkarynste19
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    shrsri
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