I posted this in FFCF but wanted to make sure everyone got a chance to see it since it led to some very interesting discussions with my friends:
If anyone read "Expecting Better" you are familiar with Emily Oster- here is an article she wrote on BF that I really liked that might make a lot of us feel better: https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/
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Re: For everyone feeling guilty or struggling with BF
Anyways- are we comparing diamonds to rocks here? No- both are perfectly acceptable ways to feed your baby! And I don't think any mother should feel bad for formula feeding. Ever. If it's right for her and baby it's the right choice. However, I think the biggest issue is there's still a lot of flawed information about breastfeeding- specifically women thinking they have low supply when they don't and how to handle supplementing (when necessary) in a way that doesn't damage the mom's ability to nurse if she wishes to. It doesn't make me sad when people choose to formula feed, what makes me sad is when women who really want to nurse are unable to and I would venture to say that a large majority of the time it is not truly due to an actual inability to nurse (which does happen but is extremely rare) but rather lack of support, help, or poor information given. We have improved in great strides, but there's still a lot of incorrect information floating around that is causing a lot of perfectly capable women to have a failed breastfeeding relationship. So as someone who strongly supports breastfeeding my concern is not whether or not it's "better" it's why so many wonderful women who want so badly to nurse are unable to? We are coming at this issue from the wrong angle- we don't need to prove to women that it's the better choice we need to improve societal views (like those lovely people who compare nursing to pooping) and work on truly educating our medical professionals to create the highest success rates possible for woman who DO want to breastfeed.
Women who want to formula feed should feel totally confident to go ahead and do so, BUT women who want to breastfeed should be able to do so as well- the "failure" rate shouldn't be as high as it is. Our bodies are more than capable- a great majority of the time, so what are we doing wrong to impede our natural abilities? That's what I want to know and see change rather than more studies about which is better.
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Just the fact, that my breast milk will protect my baby from infections is good enough for me and I don't care how much my nipples hurt
Oh, and I sure hope you didn't take any prenatal vitamins bc those are definitely an artificial concoction created to help keep you and the baby healthy.
Llly436 - my child will be much better off having a loving and compassionate mom. Those traits aren't passed through breastmilk. Good luck with your incredibly judgmental thoughts. I hope when things don't go as you planned you have someone respond the way you have.
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Based on your doctoral degree and evidence from... Oh in your head.
And factually yes, breast milk is fantastic nourishment! It's super healthy for the baby and it's free! It may help your child be less sick as a baby (again *may* help, because there are many factors at play), but if you don't have the option to breast feed, either because of lack of milk, or adoption, or difficulty with the breastfeeding process, medications you need to take, or postpartum depression, or a ton of other reasons, formula is a *perfectly healthy* alternative.
And again, this one thing in the history of a whole PERSON, is not going to be the difference. I mean, there ARE some things during infancy (very few) that can make a permanent difference in the life of a person. For example not being held or touched, being abused, being starved or otherwise neglected. But breastfeeding vs formula is *not* one of the things that can deeply harm or impact the life of a person, long term.
For some fun anecdotal evidence, I was a vaginally birthed baby who was breastfed for a whole year. So was my brother. As kids I was super healthy and rarely got sick. My brother, same birth, same breastfeeding, was colicky and then had chronic ear and throat infections all his childhood. As adults, I'm a healthy, happy adult in a successful career, enjoying a long and fulfilling partnership with my husband. My brother is a deeply depressed, unemployed alcoholic. It's really sad and terrible. But we had the *exact* same start in life, in terms of this topic, and things went very differently for us both.
On the other hand, my husband was a c section baby who was fed formula. He is, like me, obviously, in our happy marriage and is successful in his dream career. He is probably more successful than I am, more patient, and healthier. And he was the c section/formula baby!
Overall, my point being, yes, if you can *healthily* breastfeed (and I am absolutely 100% including the *mother's* mental and physical health and happiness in this statement) then fantastic! You've got yourself a free and wonderful source of nourishment. If you can't or won't for whatever reason - this one thing is not going to permanently impact the health or trajectory of your kiddo, long term.
I feel like this argument is especially damaging because it treats the mother and her happiness and health as an aside, as a very distant second place to the food source for baby. This should not be the case. I think it's normal to anticipate a rough patch with breastfeeding, certainly with adjusting to hormone swings after the birth of the baby, and getting used to doing something brand new, and it's fine to encourage mothers to get through that patch, but to act as if a woman should just soldier on in the face of serious problems or depression or just months and months of genuine unhappiness is absurd and unnecessary. Health is a word that encompasses a lot of things, including physical nourishment and emotional environment. I think the only aim we strive for should be a loving, happy, healthy environment for the baby, and nourishing food in his or her stomach - whether it's formula or breast milk should be a specific choice related to what works for that particular woman, child and family. To shame or bully people otherwise is rude and again, isn't going to really matter, in the long run.
Formula is to blame that I'm unable to have a civilized conversation? Hahaha you are batshit insane.
At least my formula fed brain is smart enough to understand the concept shaming and bullying and how wrong it is.
When I feed her, I keep eye contact with her, talk to her, sing to her, smile a lot. She'll also reach up often and grab a finger on the hand that's holding the bottle. The bond I feel with her is awesome and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
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