I voted SS since I'm a WAHM, running my own business, so I feel like I'm in the middle of the two. Part of me wishes I could have time out of the house and to feel more human, but I also kind of wish I could just solely be a SAHM and not have the pressure of having to rely on my income. Being self employed is really stressful, especially when I'm sick or my kids are sick.
I've been toying with the idea of getting a part time job just for sanity sake, but it just doesn't makes sense since I'm super busy in the summer months with work and then by the time it slows down, the baby will be here.
I voted that I would be a SAHM, but I have been one since 2009 when DS was born. It isn't always easy and sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my education but it can be pretty rewarding.
@bluejeanbabi05 Our son will still go to daycare, but we will cut back from full time to one or two days a week. That's just to save us money since we will be goin from one in daycare to 3 in daycare....yikes! I still want him to have that social interaction and it will be nice to have a day or two alone with the new babies.
I'll be going back to work bc we need the income and I carry our benefits. Luckily I only work 3 days a week, which sometimes lands on a weekend, so I will still be home 4 other days.
I'm going back to work. Partially because we need the income (most expensive city in the entire country, yo), but also partially because I do love my job and I think it will make me a better mom.
@bluejeanbabi05 I know your question wasn't directed at me, but I WFH full time and DS has been with a nanny or in daycare full time since I went back. There's no way I could get my work done with him here. I've tried to attempt it a few times when he's been to sick to go to daycare and it's a disaster. Plus, my company actually has a policy requiring WFH employees to have childcare arrangements.
I voted SAHM but I've been a SAHM since having our first child 14 years ago. We homeschool too so hopefully I'll be able to stay home until our last one is finished. I know it's not doable for everyone but we'll be a family of ten once this little one is born and we make it on a teacher's salary. It's more possible than many people realize
I'm back to work with a combination of the first two choices - I think going back to work sets up a good example for the kids and we semi need the second income because of our lifestyle choices. We can manage on DH's income but we don't want to sacrifice our lifestyle. Having said all that, I'll be a SAHM for 12 months which is what I did with DS.
@dajocl You were able to bring a newborn into work?! How long were your days? How did it all work? I'm so curious because that would never have worked with my DS who was very clingy and colicky.
SS here. Already a SAHM but I also work on my own time. My own schedule. And one of. Y jobs I can bring my kids ( dance studio receptionist ) when I do my photography sessions. I schedule them for the weekends so DH can have the kids.
@bluejeanbabi05 my older two are in school full time and my 3 year old is home with me. It's insanely hard to work when all 3 kids are at home during breaks and in-service days. Summer is super busy for me and trying to get 12 hours of work done a day is awful with them upstairs out of my sight.
I was working from home when my youngest was born and it was tough having to stop every hour and a half to feed her, but she was super easy going, so it wasn't the worst thing in the world. I hate to admit she now spends most of the day watching TV in the basement with me so I can work, but it's our only option at the moment, I can't afford to send her to daycare since my income fluctuates so much
I voted SAHM but I've been a SAHM since having our first child 14 years ago. We homeschool too so hopefully I'll be able to stay home until our last one is finished. I know it's not doable for everyone but we'll be a family of ten once this little one is born and we make it on a teacher's salary. It's more possible than many people realize
You rock, Mama. We want to homeschool too. Mom's like you are an inspiration.
@buttercream_frosting In the beginning I would only work 4 hours at a time. I wore him a lot and would make sure that he always had a nap scheduled the time that we were there. Also I just set my office up for it, play area in one corner, baby proofed if all, that sort of stuff. He's never known anything different so that was the key to it all. And I had to be prepared everyday, food, clothes, toys, diapers etc. He was certainly not an easy baby either, so again I just wore him a lot. If we were having a terrible day, if go home and we'd try again the next day.
Oh and once I started working longer days, I would just take longer breaks with him for him to have my undivided attention. And having him there was great for breastfeeding, he took forever to nurse. I would just close the door and let him eat and I got really good at doing things one handed on my computer.
@dajocl AMAZING! And hello fellow baby wearer Wearing DS saved my life. I wore him for 12 months. He grew out of it when he started walking at 10months. I love how supportive your workplace was/is. You must be a very valued employee.
I put SS because we have no damn clue what we're gonna do. Daycare is bananas, but I also make more than my husband does. My husband isn't willing to give up his career, and I hate my job so it's just a matter of if we can swing it losing over half our income.
I also have a WFH business that I do PT, that I think could make it possible for me to stay home, especially if I could devote more time to it.
I voted the first option. I don't LOVE my job and would love to drop a 12 hr shift after baby is born. I just know I can't stay home with my babies all day every day. I'm not very social so when I am home with DD we are mostly at home. I go stir crazy and get bored doing the same thing every day. She loves the interaction she gets at daycare and I like being able to talk with adults ☺ plus like other PPs have said, I think it makes me appreciate my time with her more after I've worked a couple shifts and not seen her much in a 3 day span.
I picked SAHM and can't wait but I guess I should have put SS. lol
I've held SAHM/MWAHM status since my middle son was born. I own my own business knitting newborn props for photographers but haven't been working much since the 1 year old isn't to happy with my working. lol Might try to start pre-school earlier with the youngest so I can work a bit more because I miss getting to create pretty tiny things for photographers but I guess I'll have to wait and see what this new little ladies temperament is. If she's anything like the current youngest I wont be working even part time for a long, long time. lol
I like being a SAHM but I also like the work too, it's the best of both worlds for me.
I work full time now and I want to go back to work, but I think I rather work part time. Don't see how that'll happen unless I take a demotion (and likely a pay cut as well). My supervisor used to work full Mon-Thu and then half days on Fri when she had her first baby, so maybe I'll see if I can do something similar
I work full time now and I want to go back to work, but I think I rather work part time. Don't see how that'll happen unless I take a demotion (and likely a pay cut as well). My supervisor used to work full Mon-Thu and then half days on Fri when she had her first baby, so maybe I'll see if I can do something similar
That's the schedule I work, 9 hours M-Th and 4 hours F so it's still a full 40 hours. In an ideal world I'd work 32 hours but this isn't a bad alternative.
I'm with natleilynn - I feel like going to job and having something that's just mine outside of the home will help me create better balance. I do love my job and, being in Canada, am lucky that we get such excellent maternity leave. We could live off DH's salary but it would be just enough - my income helps contribute to our retirement fund as well as gives us extra money for things we need and like to do.
My mom stayed home with me until I started kindergarten, and while I was grateful for that, I think it'll be important for me to still have a job to go to instead of being defined solely as "mom."
I'm a special snowflake because I work from home. With my first son, I was literally working while in the hospital. I wised up and took about a month off with my second son. This time around I hope to take about a month off, but I don't expect work to completely leave me alone.
After first LO I went back to work full time. This time I'm going to go back to work part time and that way we won't use daycare anymore. With two kids in daycare I would make less working full time then I would working part time and not using daycare.
Siggy Warning: Loss, Living Child, Pregnancy mentioned
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@kkerner87 Sorry about your situation. That makes me sad for you
@mandmplus1 I can't believe how ridiculous daycare gets that working parents cannot work because of it. Yay for the PT option though! My work offers PT hours as a transition from maternity leave.
SAHM once little one arrives. I work PRN right now, so I'd already cut down from full time. I usually work one shift a week. Once baby is older, I may go back to doing the one shift just because I do enjoy it.
Me: 31 DH: 35 Married since 05.16.2009 Expecting #1: 10.10.2017
I'll go back to work because I absolutely love my job. Plus I get the best insurance for us. Also, the flying perks. I honestly couldn't imagine giving it up. Luckily my schedule can be fairly flexible and I can drop days when I want to be home more. As long as I work 40 flight hours a month, I can keep my insurance. So that's probably what I'll be doing the first few months after maternity leave.
T my husband and I decided for me to be a stay at home mom after my first maternity leave for a wide variety of reasons. The main one being that I would've been working 8 to 10 hours a day and I couldn't stand the thought of somebody else raising my baby all day long and only seeing him for maybe an hour before his bedtime. The other reason was financial, Half of my income would've been going to daycare so for all those hours of work and being away from my son I would've been getting paid so little. Additionally, my husband wanted to change careers around the time that my son was born. He's doing really well but this has been extremely demanding of his time and he never would've been able put in all the hours necessary without me being home. I would've needed him to do daycare pick ups, grocery shopping but the housecleaning 50-50 be home for bedtime while I was stuck in traffic on my way home etc. we have sacrificed financially for sure but overall we chose the less stressful option for us.
That reminds me of a question. For the stm+ who have their toddlers in daycare now- do people normally keep toddler in daycare during mat leave or have both kids at home during that
To me I feel like that doesn't really make sense financially. My husband and I have some serious financial goals and he needs to be able to work all the time whenever he needs to in order for us to reach those. Also the main reason that I am a stay at home mom is so that I can be the one nurturing and educating my kid so when my second baby is born in October I don't plan on putting my toddler in daycare
it's not about the finances for us - yes it would save us money, but if we pull her out, she loses her spot. So then when I go back to work, we would likely have to find a brand new daycare for her.
Trust me, I'd love to pull her out when I can, but I love the facility she's in and we've already got a spot reserved for the baby. So it'll give me some one-on-one time with the baby and DD will get to keep her routine.
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
That reminds me of a question. For the stm+ who have their toddlers in daycare now- do people normally keep toddler in daycare during mat leave or have both kids at home during that
To me I feel like that doesn't really make sense financially. My husband and I have some serious financial goals and he needs to be able to work all the time whenever he needs to in order for us to reach those. Also the main reason that I am a stay at home mom is so that I can be the one nurturing and educating my kid so when my second baby is born in October I don't plan on putting my toddler in daycare
1) I recognize your avatar but your SN is really really hard to connect with you. Please try and change it so we can tag you and such more easily.
2) The bolded... if you don't want to start a war with those of us moms who work for either financial or mental sanity purposes, I would suggest being careful of saying things that insinuate that working moms don't nurture, educate, or otherwise raise their children.
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
@Knottie1447173547 FWIW- we really love our son's school/daycare and they have done a phenomenal job with his education so far (he's 3.5). To pull him out for the three months of maternity leave would likely cause more harm than good as it would disrupt his routines, his daily social interactions with his friends, and his curriculum/schoolwork. I am realistic enough to know that I will not be able to give him the same opportunities for growth and learning while I am home nursing a baby 24/7. For us, keeping him in school is the most nurturing decision we can make. He will likely stay home with us for a week to bond with baby but then he will go back to his typical routine.
T my husband and I decided for me to be a stay at home mom after my first maternity leave for a wide variety of reasons. The main one being that I would've been working 8 to 10 hours a day and I couldn't stand the thought of somebody else raising my baby all day long and only seeing him for maybe an hour before his bedtime. The other reason was financial, Half of my income would've been going to daycare so for all those hours of work and being away from my son I would've been getting paid so little. Additionally, my husband wanted to change careers around the time that my son was born. He's doing really well but this has been extremely demanding of his time and he never would've been able put in all the hours necessary without me being home. I would've needed him to do daycare pick ups, grocery shopping but the housecleaning 50-50 be home for bedtime while I was stuck in traffic on my way home etc. we have sacrificed financially for sure but overall we chose the less stressful option for us.
Yeah, I'm the one raising my son, not his daycare.
ETA: I saw that @jessafishy responded to similar thing you said that insinuates that moms who send their kids to daycare aren't raising them. It's incredibly insulting.
I've never understood the "I don't want someone else raising my child" thing for daycare. Um, in a few years your kid will be going to school full time. But that's somehow different?
I've never understood the "I don't want someone else raising my child" thing for daycare. Um, in a few years your kid will be going to school full time. But that's somehow different?
And @riverraine that wall of text was making my eyes cross so I missed that particular comment. -eyeroll-
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
i am so thankful i will have gone through 27 months of pregnancy after this for strangers to raise my children. i surely cannot be bothered with that task.
Also, also - our daycare specifically addresses working parents with the kids so they understand the why's. Like, "Mommy/Daddy have to work so they can buy _____" or "so you can have ____" or "so you can go ______".
They try to help them understand that working is a part of life, it doesn't equate that their parents love them any more/less than parents who choose to keep their kids home. So I appreciated that because DD did have a hard time going from staying home with DH to going into daycare. But in the end, it's been a great thing for her, coming out of her shell and interacting with kids her own age (since we moved to a new state, we didn't have built in friends with similarly aged kids close by). This has given her a ton of socialization and independence.
I hope it doesn't come across as attacking you @Knottie1447173547 - that's definitely not my intention in any way. Everyone does the best they can for their kiddos. I think our daycare nurtures DD in a certain way and then we nurture her a different way when we are with her. There's no universal right or wrong choice.
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
I was a SAHM for the first 2 kids. H joined the army so we could have that option. H just got out of the army, and the month he officially got out is the month we ended up making a baby. I'm the main income and hold the health insurance coverage, so there is really no option for me to stay home now. I'm really struggling with this, as I have no idea how this is going to look for our family. I'm worried about how soon I'll have to go back to work as there is no maternity leave and it will be smack in the middle of 2nd quarter. My school is also a pay for performance school so there is some pressure to go back sooner as the students will take a test to determine my worth as a teacher. I'm hoping financially we can save enough where I can take the full 6 weeks off, but i'm preparing myself for only 4 weeks off.
That reminds me of a question. For the stm+ who have their toddlers in daycare now- do people normally keep toddler in daycare during mat leave or have both kids at home during that
To me I feel like that doesn't really make sense financially. My husband and I have some serious financial goals and he needs to be able to work all the time whenever he needs to in order for us to reach those. Also the main reason that I am a stay at home mom is so that I can be the one nurturing and educating my kid so when my second baby is born in October I don't plan on putting my toddler in daycare
Im personally so grateful for daycare, I never planned on raising my kids anyways. I just signed up to incubate them for approximately 9 to 10 months. Raising it was never in the contract.
Re: Poll o' the Day - Going back to work or staying home?
I've been toying with the idea of getting a part time job just for sanity sake, but it just doesn't makes sense since I'm super busy in the summer months with work and then by the time it slows down, the baby will be here.
Rachel and Jeff Married 5.29.05
Jason is 8
Elizabeth is 6
Katherine is 18 months
I'll be going back to work bc we need the income and I carry our benefits. Luckily I only work 3 days a week, which sometimes lands on a weekend, so I will still be home 4 other days.
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
I was working from home when my youngest was born and it was tough having to stop every hour and a half to feed her, but she was super easy going, so it wasn't the worst thing in the world. I hate to admit she now spends most of the day watching TV in the basement with me so I can work, but it's our only option at the moment, I can't afford to send her to daycare since my income fluctuates so much
Oh and once I started working longer days, I would just take longer breaks with him for him to have my undivided attention. And having him there was great for breastfeeding, he took forever to nurse. I would just close the door and let him eat and I got really good at doing things one handed on my computer.
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
I also have a WFH business that I do PT, that I think could make it possible for me to stay home, especially if I could devote more time to it.
So basically I'm just a big *shoulder shrug*
I've held SAHM/MWAHM status since my middle son was born. I own my own business knitting newborn props for photographers but haven't been working much since the 1 year old isn't to happy with my working. lol Might try to start pre-school earlier with the youngest so I can work a bit more because I miss getting to create pretty tiny things for photographers but I guess I'll have to wait and see what this new little ladies temperament is. If she's anything like the current youngest I wont be working even part time for a long, long time. lol
I like being a SAHM but I also like the work too, it's the best of both worlds for me.
Wife of 14 years to one amazing Hubby
Married: 11/12/16
BFP: 02/09/17
FTM | EDD: 10/13/17
My mom stayed home with me until I started kindergarten, and while I was grateful for that, I think it'll be important for me to still have a job to go to instead of being defined solely as "mom."
@kkerner87 Sorry about your situation. That makes me sad for you
@mandmplus1 I can't believe how ridiculous daycare gets that working parents cannot work because of it. Yay for the PT option though! My work offers PT hours as a transition from maternity leave.
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
Its such a sucky situation, I hope you guys find some clarity!
Married since 05.16.2009
Expecting #1: 10.10.2017
Luckily my schedule can be fairly flexible and I can drop days when I want to be home more. As long as I work 40 flight hours a month, I can keep my insurance. So that's probably what I'll be doing the first few months after maternity leave.
it's not about the finances for us - yes it would save us money, but if we pull her out, she loses her spot. So then when I go back to work, we would likely have to find a brand new daycare for her.
Trust me, I'd love to pull her out when I can, but I love the facility she's in and we've already got a spot reserved for the baby. So it'll give me some one-on-one time with the baby and DD will get to keep her routine.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Two things...
1) I recognize your avatar but your SN is really really hard to connect with you. Please try and change it so we can tag you and such more easily.
2) The bolded... if you don't want to start a war with those of us moms who work for either financial or mental sanity purposes, I would suggest being careful of saying things that insinuate that working moms don't nurture, educate, or otherwise raise their children.
I heart YNAB
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“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
Edit- typos
ETA: I saw that @jessafishy responded to similar thing you said that insinuates that moms who send their kids to daycare aren't raising them. It's incredibly insulting.
And @riverraine that wall of text was making my eyes cross so I missed that particular comment. -eyeroll-
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
live footage of DD1 at daycare
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
They try to help them understand that working is a part of life, it doesn't equate that their parents love them any more/less than parents who choose to keep their kids home. So I appreciated that because DD did have a hard time going from staying home with DH to going into daycare. But in the end, it's been a great thing for her, coming out of her shell and interacting with kids her own age (since we moved to a new state, we didn't have built in friends with similarly aged kids close by). This has given her a ton of socialization and independence.
I hope it doesn't come across as attacking you @Knottie1447173547 - that's definitely not my intention in any way. Everyone does the best they can for their kiddos. I think our daycare nurtures DD in a certain way and then we nurture her a different way when we are with her. There's no universal right or wrong choice.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
**eye roll**