~The Ongoing MOTN Check In ~

FrodaBaggins

BabyM82714 said:

I just clearly have no direction happening in my life. Not a whole lot makes sense. In trying to see if BF and I have a salvageable relationship I'm loosing my mind and myself. We just have totally different views on life and most things in general. I just don't see how we will ever function as a team the way I want us to be able to do.

I love him. But I don't think we can be happy forever. And I really don't want to put myself through a shitty marriage and be even more bound to the relationship. I don't think we are healthy together. We used to have a ball before we got serious, moved together, joined money, and got pregnant.

Its really hard to be a human with a heart when I need to just be heartless and stick with what I know is right. It hurts so bad and its so hard. And permantely being a single mom terrifies me. But deep down that's just what's going to happen and I know it. I need to be strong and embrace and except it.

Sorry a bit of a MOTN rant/self pep talk.

@BabyM82714‌ I don't have experience with this with a child in the equation, but seven years ago I had a boyfriend move all the way out here to move in with me, and he was planning on proposing. It would have been the worst idea ever and the marriage 100% would not have lasted - events that played out later in the aftermath of the breakup have thoroughly convinced me of that. I'm so glad I listened to my gut even though it was so incredibly hard at the time to initiate a breakup and leave. You are doing the best for your LO by not putting you both permanently in a situation where things aren't working.

BeachM

Someone explain this to me. If LO goes to sleep between 9-9:30pm he sleeps until 3-3:30am. If he goes to bed earlier he wakes up exactly 3 hours after going to sleep. Um, this is not how it is supposed to work. I guess he's not developmentally ready yet for an early bedtime? I'd really like my evenings back.

slippintrippn84

So, as of about 2 days (or so) ago, when LO eats and gets towards the end of the bottle he begins to squirm and flail around like he doesn't want it or that something is wrong. I take the bottle out of his mouth. He starts crying b/c he wants it back. Resumes squirming. WTF?

BabyM82714

LO has been sleeping like a champ IF I hold her. The minute I lay her down he eyes come wide open. Why?! LO I promise your bassinet is just as comfy.

SoSayWeAll

slippintrippn84 said:

So, as of about 2 days (or so) ago, when LO eats and gets towards the end of the bottle he begins to squirm and flail around like he doesn't want it or that something is wrong. I take the bottle out of his mouth. He starts crying b/c he wants it back. Resumes squirming. WTF?

My son does this with the boob. Sometimes he needs to burp, but sometimes I have no clue why.

jaimee2003

BabyM82714 said:

LO has been sleeping like a champ IF I hold her. The minute I lay her down he eyes come wide open. Why?! LO I promise your bassinet is just as comfy.

I have been dealing with exactly this for almost two weeks now! LO used to sleep so well in his bassinet and then out of nowhere he will only sleep with a warm body. Sometimes he'll trick me by sleeping in the bassinet for 10 minutes. But then he always wakes up and starts crying. I love snuggling with the little guy, but mama needs some space sometimes! Particularily night time!

Dawn5481

I woke up, looked at my clock, realized it was 4am and my child hadn't made a sound since 10pm, proceeded to bolt to her bassinet with my cell phone ready to call 911. She's fine (of course). I'd really like to not be 12 shades of crazy anymore. P.S. I'm totally not telling FI she slept 6 hours straight. Let him think I was up all night with her and he slept through her cries.

jaimee2003

LO has been up every hour tonight. He turned 6 weeks today(well, technically yesterday now). Is this the beginning of 6 week growth spurt or crazy coincidence?? Either way, not loving it.

belle785

Ugh why has my ten week old been waking up every three hours for the last three nights!'

Dawn5481

Can't sleep. Can't stop crying. Had yet another fight with FI tonight and I miss my parents. If they were still here, they'd have totally kicked his ass by now and i'd have enough help to walk away if I wanted to. It's times like these I wish I at least had a brother or sister.

Dawn5481

Wow. Sorry guys. I just realized how whiny that was. Apologize for the random vent.

jaimee2003

Dawn5481 said:

Wow. Sorry guys. I just realized how whiny that was. Apologize for the random vent.

Not whiny at all!! I'm so sorry you're in this position; feeling like you have no support is incredibly stressful. I still have my parents but they live in different states. My mom came and stayed with us for 10 days and it was so great. She's been back home for almost a week now and I still am not over her being gone and find myself crying at least once a day. If anyone is whiny, it's me!

I guess I'm trying to say, you are so entitled to feeling the way you do. Sending you love and support!

BabyM82714

@Dawn5481‌ sorry girl! I've been there. Still there. Still struggling. BF has returned home, the night he did he ended up in the hospital with a new heart condition (23years old) so we've been dealing.with all that.. despite me starting work, BF illness and appointments, LO starting daycare, we still have therapy dates.set.... we have been ok since he came home. Struggling daily. But okay. Maybe we can get to good again. Maybe not. There is a lot of pain and anger and im hoping that will pass.

maybe you should look into it too..if not for both of you for yourself.It is goof to rant to someone who won't judge and doesn't know you.

kamedio

While I'm thrilled dd has been asleep since 10 (still is) my boobs are not. Woke up to my shirt soaked from (over engourged) leaky boobs. Currently sitting on my floor pumping as not to wake anyone. Glamorous life

BabyM82714

Leskay said:

@BabyM82714‌ I think now is such an emotional time I wouldn't make any permanent decisions about your relationship. In the last few weeks I have absolutely hated DH and have been convinced we won't make it. But I have decided to stick it out and everyday it's gotten alittle better. I raised my teenage daughter alone after divorcing her father when she was very young. People say it's hard to stay but it's also really hard to leave. Life changes forever. It takes time for relationships and partners to become what we need. And usually they're never exactly what we need but that's where compromise comes in.
I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship.. Only you know if there's anything left to salvage.
I really do wish you the best I know how scared and alone you must feel.

Thank you! We are both trying really hard not to make permanent decisions. Newborns are hard. We are young. Our lives are changing. That certainly doesn't help the stress level. I'd like to get some therapy and work from there. But the limbo land really does suck. Fortunately for the time since he has been back home he has been super helpful. Im hoping he really was slapped with reality and I was too while we were apart for a week. Being a single mom scares the crap outta me but.living unhappy does too. I'm hoping after a few months things will find there own happy medium.

Dawn5481

@Leskay‌ - I'm adding myself as a target for the advice you just gave @BabyM82714‌. Thank you!

Dawn5481

Well, it's 8:45 and I've already been called a bitch once, and told that no one wants to be around me. LO has spit up all over me twice and won't stop screaming. Tonight is gonna be awesome!

bumpuser10150228

LO is sleeping on me... Part of his 7pm-12am stretch.. Too bad he will be up screaming every hour after that! I hope I'm not the only one who still has LO sleeping on their chest out of desperation..

dvmmomma

@lizzie82088 - I've been known to let LO sleep in bed between DH and I out of desperation :-S

rainbowwillow

I will let LO basically sleep anywhere if it means I can also sleep. Still in NB survival mode!

MC03

Dawn5481 said:

Well, it's 8:45 and I've already been called a bitch once, and told that no one wants to be around me. LO has spit up all over me twice and won't stop screaming. Tonight is gonna be awesome!

That's terrible and you don't deserve that. I'm so sorry.

slippintrippn84

I think my car seat is jinxed or something. LO goes to sleep in it and stays asleep for HOURS afterwards. Not complaining but little guy has been asleep since 7:45 or so. Sad part is that I'm still awake and I'm sure he will be up soon. It allowed DH and I a nice night out with friends and then some sexy time but I really want to sleep and not get up in a few minutes.

bumpuser10150228

@dvmmomma thank goodness I'm not alone! I always judged myseld hard for cosleeping sometimes but it's the only way I get some sleep!

slippintrippn84

Update to my PP
My mutant baby just woke up at 5:16 am. That my friends is a 10 hour stretch of sleep. WTF. He wasn't even crying when he woke up. He was stuffing his little fists into his mouth though. He is now fed, changed, and is going back to sleep. Is this normal for a 2 mo? It's the second time he has slept for a long long stretch this week.

belle785

After a week of crap sleep, LO did 5.5 hours and then another 4. Thank goodness.

rstarrlemaitre

DS did his first night in his OWN room, not the bassinet by our bed! It meant we had no lovely 5 hour stretch, but the transition has begun...

slippintrippn84

Why does LO know when I am up and pumping?! Woke up to extreme boob pain and went to pump to relieve my tits. 15 minutes in I'm starting to feel better and LO is awake for his MOTN feeding. Fed him what I pumped and am back at it to finish the job.

On the flip side, he "talks" to me when I pick him up for our MOTN feed and I think it's adorable, although he's probably saying "Where have you been? Didn't you hear me? You really need to work on your listening and responding skills. Where's the milk? Don't change me now. Feed me now!!"

Elaina22

After our MOTN feedings LO will not stay asleep. As soon as I lay her down, her little eyes pop open and she's wide awake. By the time she does fall asleep and stay asleep I have about an hour to nap until she is hungry again. Exhausting.

SoSayWeAll

My cat has to be underfoot during our MOTN feedings. I feel like he is going to make me fall down the stairs. Then he nibbles at my feet while I am nursing, Go away, cat!

SoSayWeAll

Wow, no one posting tonight? I hope that means all your LOs are STTN tonight. I just fed and reswaddled DS and he was asleep on my chest, then I hear explosive poop. There goes another 20 min!

jaimee2003

@SoSayWeAll‌ , ugh! I hate when that happens! This is now my "up for the day" time. First day back to work today. I am going to need AAAAAAALLLL the coffee. I think today warrants a pumpkin spice latte, too.

J&A CO

Just experienced my first 5 hour stretch of sleep!! Exciting, except LO thinks it's time to be wide awake for the day instead of falling asleep nursing like she normally does. What the heck!

slippintrippn84

I'm pumping my horribly painfully full tits and LO is fuss crying. >.< I'm letting him cry. DH can go put his paci back in his mouth. Kid knows how to suck on his fist too. Just do it already! Mom's busy.

mwsolis

DD is 2 months today. We were in bed at 9:15 and up at 3:15 am. First night with a 6 hour stretch. Hallelujah! We started swaddling again because it was getting cold in our room in the MOTN and I think that might be helping.

My breasts are so full though. Not sure if I should pump?

chase16

hmctagg01 said:

How much noise does your LO make in their sleep? DD will cry like she's awake, only to go through the whole getting up process to find out she's sound asleep! Then I can't go back to sleep! Definitely motivation to get her in her room! What could a baby possibly dream about?!

Julia makes ennhhh eeeennnhhhh noises when she's starting to stir. Shes never all the way awake when we get up to feed her and change her, but just starting to be based on her little noises.

Up until about a week ago she also made horrible wheezing noises when I'd put her back down after a feeding at night. I think it was just an immature digestive system though, because she's grown out of it

cardgal14

Finally fell asleep at 9 p.m. after DH kept DS awake a little longer by making a bunch of noise in the bedroom next to LO's. Then up at 11, 12, 2 (feeding and a pump!), 4, and then up for the day at 7:30. He ate every time except at 12, when I apparently didn't have him in a deep enough sleep before transferring him to the bassinet after his 11 pm wake up. I'm hoping this is the 6 week growth spurt, b/c I can't take much more of this.

mwsolis

Oh the 6 week growth spurt is not fun at all! Hang in there mommy! You can get through it!

rainbowwillow

I am scared for tonight. Earlier this evening LO started reacting to yesterday's vaccines. The only way to stop him from screaming bloody murder is to nurse, nurse, nurse. My poor baby bear

slippintrippn84

LO is still up and has not been put to bed...and I kinda don't care. Maybe he will skip the MOTN feed and STTN? We can only hope. Stay tuned cadets.

MrsLeahBentley

As if a switch was flipped, the 6 week growth spurt has struck, right at 6 weeks. DS has eaten every two hours ALL DAY, not making it easy because I'm mostly an EP who only nurses when LO feels like cooperating and latching (which is almost never, yet twice for a short time). I know tonight is going to suck, but I'm hoping he'll take the boob for that 2am feeding so I don't have to drag out the pump. Pray for me!