*They call me Mister Spamtastic 6/2*

tiffletons518

ColieAnn31 said:

I just don't know what to say or do to get it across to him. "Shape up or get out"? I don't have anyone to talk to about this. My mom tries to take matters into her own hands and makes things worse so I stopped talking to her about stuff like this.

I think "ultimatum" usually screams 'bad idea', but there has to be some better communication. It's the worst and most annoying thing IMO "talking about things". I hate being that serious. I'd much rather make jokes and take things lightly. But, something has to give.

ColieAnn31

Thanks ladies. I'll try to have a talk with him tomorrow when he finally drags his ass out of bed. I just hate confrontation. But the jackass drank all the damn wine. Now I am drinking a razberrita on an empty stomach.

ColieAnn31

Thanks @NaChelleBeck‌ I'm keeping my distance from him tonight in case I say something I'll regret. Hopefully tomorrow I can work up the courage to talk to him. I seriously hate confrontation.


One razberrita down.

ColieAnn31

I am drunk. But I wrote a 4 page letter expressing my feelings and I gave it to Alex. Writing down my feelings is way easier for me than saying them face to face. Thank you everyone for the advice and support. Hopefully we can get through this but if not at least I can say I tried and move on. Life is too short to be unhappy all the time. I owe it to Grayson to give him a happy childhood. I love all of you even though we've never met. I also had a really good cry when @tiffletons518‌ told me she's been where I've been and gave me good advice. Thank you for always being here for me. Sorry to bring down the spam thread.

pkp2

Good luck @ColieAnn31‌ I hope he man ups and realizes what he has!

WasNotWas

Colie, one more thing. You seem to always go to ultimatums and that's a bad idea. I get it, you get mad and want a reaction and, hopefully a change, but when you make empty threats you lose your power. Disappointment and compromise are much stronger words and easier to follow up on.

Cricket81

He woke up a half hour earlier than usual, but LO only woke up once last night!! That's a first!!

[Deleted User]

I'm paying the price for having too much fun last night. Hangover central here!

tiffletons518

Well, I had the 6. I'm not hungover. I have no idea how I got that lucky. I expected to feel at least somewhat crappy. I may still get a fountain Coke at some point just because it's delicious.

@ColieAnn31‌ I hope things went ok last night. I did giggle rereading my long winded responses, but it was all true. And I meant it about being here if you wanted to chat. Anytime lovely.

ColieAnn31

Thank all again for the advice. I don't know if he's read the letter or not yet. We'll discuss everything later today. Last night was rough in regards to sleep. Grayson woke up screaming about an hour after I went to sleep. Scared the crap out of me. I finally got him back to sleep and he did it a couple more times. And why don't babies sleep in when they stay up later?! Lol

ColieAnn31

I really really really want some donuts!!!

ColieAnn31

subliminalrabbit said:

@ColieAnn31, me too.  This low-sugar diet is going to be the end of me!!

I would load up Grayson and go get some but my brother parked behind me and I don't want to wake him up just so I can go get donuts :P lol

nikel13

ColieAnn31 said:

99% of Grayson's care is on me. Getting him to do things is like pulling teeth a lot of the time so I just do it all myself. He works long hours and his job is physically demanding so I know he's exhausted when he gets home so I don't ask. I know I'm not assertive enough. I never have been. I don't know how to be assertive and put my foot down. When Alex wants to be a great dad or boyfriend he's amazing. I'm just at a loss of what to do now that I've let it get so bad.

@ColieAnn31‌ I understand what you are going through. H works in a trauma ER for 12 hours a day. Yes it is 3 days a week, but he and I have the understanding that he has to be a functioning part of the family. That means eating dinner with Lily and me and he doesn't get to play video games until Lily is asleep. If he wants sex or to hang out, the game has to be shut off. It's easy for all of us to tell you what we think should happen, but you have to be willing to maybe stir up some shit to fix things. It was rough getting to this point, but I couldn't deal with never having a break of my own. I don't let H get away with the excuses often and I let him reap the consequences of his actions. If he wants to play video games until 2am, that's fine. He still has to get up in the morning and be a dad and husband.

ColieAnn31

Does anybody else watch flip or flop on hgtv? I am addicted to this show lol

ColieAnn31

Ugh!! Why are people so rude!! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that @subliminalrabbit‌

riansmommie

After bringing Jameson to bed with me last night he slept freakin awesome!!! 1040-515, nursed and slept for another 2.5 hours. He must have known I really really really needed that with how busy I've been these past couple of weeks.

ColieAnn31

@riansmommie‌ I was just coming to ask if you were able to get any sleep last night! I'm so so glad to hear that you both got good sleep!

ColieAnn31

mcbush said:

@kames12‌ I could have written that post about your H. We have the same conversation about attention/sex. I think I need to have that hour long sit down talk with him too. I seriously want to ban cell phones after working hours at home. All he's doing is scrolling through reddit and it drives me nuts.

I've banned cells phones during dinner time but I might have to up it until Grayson goes to bed. Alex is always looking at something on his phone.

WasNotWas

Another naptime conundrum: wine, nap, work, pedicure?

tiffletons518

Ok, maybe a little hungover. I am never ending hungry today. I need a cheeseburger in my life.

riansmommie

Def a pedicure today @wasnotwas the place I go to you can get a package that includes wine to drink while getting it done

lioness13

@ColieAnn31‌ - pour some water in the video game.

lioness13

itsStackie said:

Some people scraped off the icing from LO's cupcakes, so I am eating the icing as a late night snack. I think it is grossing DH out, because he told me to stop.

This pic is mesmerizing. Can't stop watching....

ColieAnn31

lioness13 said:

@ColieAnn31‌ - pour some water in the video game.

I've thought about it. I've also thought about taking a hammer to it. He'd kill me though.

riansmommie

@ColieAnn31‌ just hide the power cord for the stupid thing . Tell him he is only allowed to look for it for 30 mins a day but only after he has spent a set amount of quality time with y'all/just you two. He can have the cord back once he finds it. Just make sure to hide it super good!!!

WasNotWas

@ColieAnn31‌ MH and I have a very you, me, us strategy to our relationship. I get my time, he gets his, and we have ours. We try to schedule it as much as possible to reduce conflict.

WasNotWas

I snuck wine into my pedicure!!

Cricket81

Ugh! Our neighbor always seems to wait until I've just gotten LO to sleep to start doing yard work. An he sucks at yard work. He has no idea how to make any of his machines run smoothly, so it's always this loud, pulsing noise no matter what he is doing. It drives me nuts and better not wake up the baby!

WasNotWas

Omg @NaChelleBeck‌ and @34blondie‌ you have to make these!!

itsStackie

Almost 1000!

WasNotWas

Tomorrow's should be SPAM dun dunun let the boys be boys!

WasNotWas

Or I got 99 problems and SPAM ain't one

lioness13

ColieAnn31 said:

I just don't know what to say or do to get it across to him. "Shape up or get out"? I don't have anyone to talk to about this. My mom tries to take matters into her own hands and makes things worse so I stopped talking to her about stuff like this.

I haven't read every post so this advice may have already been given. You can't just say you want him to do better. You have to be specific. Say, "I expect you to come home from work, spend 30 minutes playing with the baby without interruption, eat dinner with us, give him a bath and put him down for bed. Then you can play your video games for an hour then spend an hour with me. I'm not going to keep reminding you of this. It is your responsibility to make sure this happens." This is just an example.

PS- a few drops of water at a time over a few days won't leave any evidence. No evidence. No charge.

Western Diva

Finally caught up on all the words after being sucked into the dec 14 drama. Loving you guys right now!!

lioness13

Yesterday I pulled out the 2 convertible car seats hoping to get them installed this weekend. DH walks in and says, "Somebody been shopping?" I was confused because I shop all the time but wasn't going to confess to anything. Then he referenced the car seats. I looked at him like he was crazy. I bought the first car seat like 6 months (or more) ago and the second like 3 months ago. The huge boxes have been sitting in our garage and formal living room. Is he blind???

Oh, and then he said he doesn't think KJ is ready to change to a convertible car seat. He said he thinks she'll be ready when she walks up to it and asks to get in.

[Deleted User]

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[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

ColieAnn31

At what point do you wake your LO up from a nap? Grayson has been asleep for 2 hours now. Do I wake him or just let him keep sleeping?

tiffletons518

@ColieAnn31‌ Do not, I repeat Do Not wake the baby

ColieAnn31

tiffletons518 said:

@ColieAnn31‌ Do not, I repeat Do Not wake the baby

Ok. That's what I figured! I'm just not used to him napping this long by himself! I am enjoying the quiet and reading on my kindle