Love this thread! Still haven't told the MIL (managed to put it off still, I'm 13wk4d). Told the FIL & he was like "was it planned?". Now he knows were are infertile, how the hell would we manage to have an unplanned baby, like really? Sex? Yeah no, doesn't work like that. Like I didn't notice having almost $11K worth of medical treatments & my husband & I injecting me with $5K worth of drugs? Like it all happened accidently? Dumb!!! I love him actually though, great guy but has been pretty stupid about some of his reproductive comments over the years. Like after we had out son, are you going to try for a sibling? That's right up there on the top of the list of things not to say to an infertile, none of your dam business unless you want to start paying our medical bills! Ok vent over! lol Love him really, promise! :-)
I was talking to somebody about the age difference between DD and this LO. A friend of FI's walked over and asked how old DD was. I told him that she was 17months and would be about 22 months when the next baby made an appearance. He looked at me and said, "Wait, I thought people were pregnant for nine months. She will be 22 months in five months. How does that work??"
I guess it slipped FI's mind to tell this friend. The poor guy looked so confused. I had to try so hard to keep a straight face (and failed) while I told him that it would only work if I were already four months pregnant. His jaw dropped, he stared down at my belly, and exclaimed, "Seriously?! For real?!"
It made me laugh so hard.
That's cute. Men can be so silly about these things!
I told my 8th graders last week, and one of the boys said "oh... I thought so, cause you sure didn't look like that at the beginning of the year". Ugh 8th grade gotta love them.
If I have to hear "well hopefully you get a boy and a girl so you can be done after that" one more time!!! I love how people feel like they can decide how many kids we are allowed to have.
Nov '14 June Siggy Challenge--Dream Vacation
Bora Bora
TTC since 3/2009
PCOS, Hypothyroid, both Fallopian tubes blocked
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Treatment
IVF Cycle #1 (12/2013) ... BFN :-(
IVF Cycle #2 (2/2014)
2/21/14 ER..2/24/14 ET - 3 Grade 8 embryos transferred
6dp3dt very faint BFP!! - it's TWINS!!! EDD 11/14/14
I've discovered nearly everyone knows someone who went through IF and then got pregnant - it seems to be the top discussion point for most everyone when we tell them our news.
I've gotten a lot of "See I just knew/told you that you'd get pregnant once you adopted. That's how it always works" (Umm... no, not really, but since your a cute little old lady saying this I'm gonna let it slide)
I've had now 3 bone-headed male co-workers ask this question (in almost the exact same way) "but wait, you just adopted right? So, like, did you adopt because you just wanted to, or because you couldn't.... get..." (they usually realize by this time that they shouldn't be asking this question. I just stare and wait and make them squirm to finish what they started) "because you couldn't get pregnant?" People mean well, but they can sure be nosy!
TTC #1 9/11-12/12, 9/12 Dx: Hypothyroid + DOR (AMH .76), IUI #1 & #2 BFN's 1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched! 10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed 5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL! 3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
I just announced at work last Friday and 2 people at 2 separate times looked at my belly and said "Yeah I thought you were" WTF I'm like 13 weeks along!! Thanks for calling me fat you assholes.
SIL - Wow you are going to be busy
DH's grandmother - I thought you weren't having any more
I've gotten too many "Was it planned?" and "Is this happy news?" to even mention
Wait, i think i am confused. Isn't your mil the one who wants to buy all the baby stuff (including the diaper bag)? Regardless, that is a terrible reaction! I'd be so hurt.
When SO told his father I'm pregnant, FIL slapped him across the face... and a few weeks later his wife told us if we were smart we would abort. Ummm... fuck you very much. Needless to say they are going to have nothing to do with this baby.
I was expecting all hell to break loose when my grandmother found out but she was thrilled... go figure.
I don't think I ever posted here...
When SO told his father I'm pregnant, FIL slapped him across the face... and a few weeks later his wife told us if we were smart we would abort. Ummm... fuck you very much. Needless to say they are going to have nothing to do with this baby.
I was expecting all hell to break loose when my grandmother found out but she was thrilled... go figure.
Seriously. That is so effed up. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them (period).
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
TTC since 2011
Aug. - Sept. 2013 - dIUIs = BFNs
January 2014 - IVF = 3 freezer babies
March 2014 - FET of AA and AB blast = BFP! Twins!
Nov. 7, 2014 - Wilhelmina "Willa" Suzanne (4lb 14oz) and Ari Jose (6lb 4oz) were born via CS
My husband's step dad told us "now Andy will have to get a real job"! He works at Burger King as a manager. I wanted to say No cuz his fake job is paying the bills just fine
@Mommieofdrew - My husband is a manager at a Jack in the Box and it annoys me when he gets that sidelong look from (usually older) people. It always feels like (and one actually said) "but, you're going to be a father. You need a real job now."
The kicker? The person who said that doesn't make as much money as him at her own employment.
My hairdresser was convinced I was lying to her and just trying to fool her. She kept trying to figure me out. Not sure why she thinks I'm the type to try to fool her, since I've never been like that.
I thought she'd come around by the end of the appointment, but then DH said a couple days later when he went that she still thought it was a big hoax!
Two small but annoying ones, 1) "I knew it!" After we made it Facebook official. How the F did you know it? I haven't seen you in years and haven't hinted about it online!
2) "Was it planned?". This one just irks me, plain and simple.
We've had the standard "was it planned?" And "you know how that happens right?" Why no, no it wasn't planned but I'm very excited nonetheless and yes, yes I do know how that works, I wasn't dropped on my head as a child. I can understand those though as we've only been married since last Nov. however, this one really gets me, "you won't go full term I think you'll have it mid oct(I'm due Nov 26th)" and "oh you're definitely having a C-Section!" All of this is based on my "size" I am 5'4" and weighed 105 when I we found out. Apparently this makes me to small to be normal. I just tell them, well my doctors have no concerns so I guess we'll see. I find that whole thing to be a little insensitive.
We've had the standard "was it planned?" And "you know how that happens right?" Why no, no it wasn't planned but I'm very excited nonetheless and yes, yes I do know how that works, I wasn't dropped on my head as a child. I can understand those though as we've only been married since last Nov. however, this one really gets me, "you won't go full term I think you'll have it mid oct(I'm due Nov 26th)" and "oh you're definitely having a C-Section!" All of this is based on my "size" I am 5'4" and weighed 105 when I we found out. Apparently this makes me to small to be normal. I just tell them, well my doctors have no concerns so I guess we'll see. I find that whole thing to be a little insensitive.
I'm 5'1" and started out at 110 lbs, and with DS I went full term plus two days and had a perfectly healthy 7 lb 13 oz baby. (I had to have a c-section but completely unrelated to my size or DS' size - he was breech.) Don't worry, you will be just fine!
Co-Worker: "Oh, you're due in November? Then it must have been a Valentines Day baby! You know what they say, all babies born in November are Valentines Day babies!!"
Um, no. First, don't think about when we conceived. Second, this wasn't a Valentines Day baby, I would know!
I've only gotten one "Was it planned?" response. I was expecting it, but I hadn't figured out how to answer it without answering it. I parkour'd hard around that question.
When we finally announced of Facebook last week, my BIL was one of the first people to know early on. He commented on our announcement post "About time I can safely tell people..." That comment BEYOND irritated me. Sorry we didn't announce on YOUR terms so you could tell people. Sorry you were one of the few special people we wanted to tell early on. Why couldn't you have just said "Congrats, I'm happy for you two"? I dunno, this could just be the hormones...
Co-Worker: "Oh, you're due in November? Then it must have been a Valentines Day baby! You know what they say, all babies born in November are Valentines Day babies!!"
Um, no. First, don't think about when we conceived. Second, this wasn't a Valentines Day baby, I would know!
I've only gotten one "Was it planned?" response. I was expecting it, but I hadn't figured out how to answer it without answering it. I parkour'd hard around that question.
HAHA @ "parkouring" around the question
Ps. I hate the valentine's baby comments too.
Since I announced about a month ago, people see me and say "you don't look pregnant yet." what do they expect? I guarantee these will be the same people who tell me I look like I'm gonna pop at 7 months.
ClrkKntismyAE I've learned my lesson. He's not the most sensitive guy in the world. With the next baby, he can wait.
ssstephanie214Seriously. I was impressed myself how I dodged the question. And the Valentines Day comment totally caught me off guard! So much awkwardness.
I had a strange comment from my male in his 60s boss today. He's known a while that I'm pregnant, and was asking about my health. I was totally shocked when after telling him I've been having some back pain and seeing a Physio he asked "and do you have a good gynecologist?"
Yesterday I told MIL the first name we have picked; Jocelyn. Her response was "That's a mouthful." Uh, no it's not. DD1's name is actually longer and apparently more difficult to say judging my the number of mispronunciations we get. Jocelyn may not be common but it's hardly a mouthful.
_____________________________________________
Married 6/16/01
Eeney 7/24/05
Meeney 3/23/07
Miney 9/15/10 Mo 11/4/14 Wait, What?!? - EDD 11/1/19
I had a strange comment from my male in his 60s boss today. He's known a while that I'm pregnant, and was asking about my health. I was totally shocked when after telling him I've been having some back pain and seeing a Physio he asked "and do you have a good gynecologist?"
Um, excuse me?
From my friend who just had a baby and was in the thick of newborn stage: "Oh honey, you have no idea." Then, "We could have let you have her for one night but it's too late for you to try a test drive now." :-S
The newborn stage is hard but it gets better, I promise
The worst one I've gotten was from someone I thought was a very close friend. "Well I better hang out with you now before you drop out of my life forever." WTF. She has only been around once since I found out in March.
So besides the constant "was it planned?" Or the "do twins run in your family?" which I just always reply yes to because technically they do lol...I had an awkward question moment this past wknd. I was giving this guy that I know a ride home and after I mentioned that I was expecting twins he asked me if I had to take drugs and stuff to get them....what the heck!?!?! I'm not close to him at all..just an acquaintance, why would he find it ok to ask if I went through fertility treatments. It's none of his business!
Nov '14 June Siggy Challenge--Dream Vacation
Bora Bora
TTC since 3/2009
PCOS, Hypothyroid, both Fallopian tubes blocked
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Treatment
IVF Cycle #1 (12/2013) ... BFN :-(
IVF Cycle #2 (2/2014)
2/21/14 ER..2/24/14 ET - 3 Grade 8 embryos transferred
6dp3dt very faint BFP!! - it's TWINS!!! EDD 11/14/14
This is our third and the number of people who have asked if it was planned or if I was "okay with it" is staggering (this includes both sets of parents despite us saying we may have a third for year or more).
I also love this thread and am glad for its resurrection.
I Facebook announced our pregnancy this week and asked for guesses if people thought boy or girl. The first comment was a high school friend who said "hope it's a boy." Well, it's a girl. Hope I didn't disappoint a friend I haven't seen in 11 years... I'm presuming this is just because we already have a girl (dd) but she doesn't know what I'm hoping for. It's just bizarre to me that she'd hope I'd have a boy without care for what I want (which was preference-less btw).
Also, I may have said this but not on this thread: I told a 6th grader I tutor a couple weeks ago and she blurted put with a shocked expression "but you aren't even fat yet!" Thanks. I guess.
I didn't get a hole lot at he beginning, but since we just announced it was a girl I have gotten a few of the " I bet you are so excited" (we did not care what it was) "one of each, now you can be done..." (No we were done with one, but oops happens) Or my fave "your son is so pretty, I can't wait to see what he looks like as a girl..." Huh????
My two least favorites so far are "Do twins run in your family?" and "We will pray for your husband in 13-14 years".
WTF? Now, some people asking about the twins are doing it out of curiosity. Others are obviously doing it to see if they can figure out whether or not we used fertility treatments...it is obvious by their follow-up questions once I tell them twins do run in my family. For example, one person actually told me they were surprised we were able to get pregnant at all since we are so old (DH is 40 and I am 37!). My favorite response is, "I guess my ovaries and uterus got together and had a going out of business sale!"
The other comments about praying for my husband came after we announced our twins were both girls. Not one person ever said that when we announced our singleton was a boy. I just hate the implication that girls are somehow awful and why are they only praying for DH. What about me??? Ha!
Sorry for the long post but I have feeeeelings and many words.
@mandylovesmike to be fair, my sister and I are only 14 months apart and we did give my dad an especially hard time at 13 - 14. He's the type of person very uncomfortable with tampons and feelings.
But I get why that makes you upset.
I think comments about fertility treatments or age are the rudest. I know that pregnant women are sort of on display just by the nature of a big round belly, but to me making and carrying a baby is a very personal event.
Re: Awkward questions & comments said to you when you announced
*long pause*
*silence*
*crickets chirping*
*tumbleweed rolls by*
SIL: "I mean, a good 'no', of course"
I've gotten a lot of "See I just knew/told you that you'd get pregnant once you adopted. That's how it always works" (Umm... no, not really, but since your a cute little old lady saying this I'm gonna let it slide)
I've had now 3 bone-headed male co-workers ask this question (in almost the exact same way) "but wait, you just adopted right? So, like, did you adopt because you just wanted to, or because you couldn't.... get..." (they usually realize by this time that they shouldn't be asking this question. I just stare and wait and make them squirm to finish what they started) "because you couldn't get pregnant?" People mean well, but they can sure be nosy!
1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched!
10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed 5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL!
3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
I just announced at work last Friday and 2 people at 2 separate times looked at my belly and said "Yeah I thought you were" WTF I'm like 13 weeks along!! Thanks for calling me fat you assholes.
SIL - Wow you are going to be busy
DH's grandmother - I thought you weren't having any more
I've gotten too many "Was it planned?" and "Is this happy news?" to even mention
N14 November Siggy Challenge - Celebration
Wait, i think i am confused. Isn't your mil the one who wants to buy all the baby stuff (including the diaper bag)? Regardless, that is a terrible reaction! I'd be so hurt. Edit- wrong quote first. All fixed now
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
I thought she'd come around by the end of the appointment, but then DH said a couple days later when he went that she still thought it was a big hoax!
Like wtf?
1) "I knew it!" After we made it Facebook official. How the F did you know it? I haven't seen you in years and haven't hinted about it online!
2) "Was it planned?". This one just irks me, plain and simple.
Um, no. First, don't think about when we conceived. Second, this wasn't a Valentines Day baby, I would know!
I've only gotten one "Was it planned?" response. I was expecting it, but I hadn't figured out how to answer it without answering it. I parkour'd hard around that question.
When we finally announced of Facebook last week, my BIL was one of the first people to know early on. He commented on our announcement post "About time I can safely tell people..." That comment BEYOND irritated me. Sorry we didn't announce on YOUR terms so you could tell people. Sorry you were one of the few special people we wanted to tell early on. Why couldn't you have just said "Congrats, I'm happy for you two"? I dunno, this could just be the hormones...
Apparently neighbor was like "Was it planned...my ex was dumping her birth control pills down the sink. That's how we had our first."
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
Ps. I hate the valentine's baby comments too.
Since I announced about a month ago, people see me and say "you don't look pregnant yet." what do they expect? I guarantee these will be the same people who tell me I look like I'm gonna pop at 7 months.
ssstephanie214 Seriously. I was impressed myself how I dodged the question. And the Valentines Day comment totally caught me off guard! So much awkwardness.
Um, excuse me?
Mo 11/4/14
Wait, What?!? - EDD 11/1/19
@meeshybee - I love the name Jocelyn!
The newborn stage is hard but it gets better, I promise
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017
My friend the other day, "Why are you having kids so soon??" We want lots, if possible. And we've been married three years! 8-|
I Facebook announced our pregnancy this week and asked for guesses if people thought boy or girl. The first comment was a high school friend who said "hope it's a boy." Well, it's a girl. Hope I didn't disappoint a friend I haven't seen in 11 years... I'm presuming this is just because we already have a girl (dd) but she doesn't know what I'm hoping for. It's just bizarre to me that she'd hope I'd have a boy without care for what I want (which was preference-less btw).
Also, I may have said this but not on this thread: I told a 6th grader I tutor a couple weeks ago and she blurted put with a shocked expression "but you aren't even fat yet!"
WTF? Now, some people asking about the twins are doing it out of curiosity. Others are obviously doing it to see if they can figure out whether or not we used fertility treatments...it is obvious by their follow-up questions once I tell them twins do run in my family. For example, one person actually told me they were surprised we were able to get pregnant at all since we are so old (DH is 40 and I am 37!). My favorite response is, "I guess my ovaries and uterus got together and had a going out of business sale!"
The other comments about praying for my husband came after we announced our twins were both girls. Not one person ever said that when we announced our singleton was a boy. I just hate the implication that girls are somehow awful and why are they only praying for DH. What about me??? Ha!
Sorry for the long post but I have feeeeelings and many words.
But I get why that makes you upset.
I think comments about fertility treatments or age are the rudest. I know that pregnant women are sort of on display just by the nature of a big round belly, but to me making and carrying a baby is a very personal event.