Awkward questions & comments said to you when you announced

mamatohne

"Please tell me you are not due during hunting season" -my dad

mommymeg143

DH's grandmother said, "ohhhh...when did it happen? At home? On one of your trips? Do you know?"

Ummmm...what now?

KMW08

tarynleann said:

"Please tell me you are not due during hunting season" -my dad

I tease dh that this baby will come during deer season. Even though I'm due a couple weeks after opening day, it's still very possible. He gets a bit stirred up about it -- all in good fun though. He really doesn't care, just as long as LO is healthy.

KMW08

Nothing awkward with this pg yet. With my first pregnancy and while I was in the hospital during my miscarriage my mom asked if the pregnancy was an accident---I have said from day one I didn't want kids, so she was very surprised when I called her explaining I was miscarrying and needed her to track down dh to get him to the hospital.

I really wanted to say, ummm we've been together for 7years, married 4 ... Definitely not an accident. C'mon now mom LOL. I know her question seems insensitive, but she meant it innocently and it was about the only thing that made me giggle during that experience.

lincoln79

Deardra77 said:

We are infertile and can only get pregnant through IVF. Took a couple of years & lots of invasive testing & treatments to get pregnant with my DS. When we told my MIL her response was "oh you know DH's brother & his wife had a miscarriage". No congratulations, nothing. Literally all she said. Needless to say I started crying. On top of everything we had gone through to get pregnant we had a SCH and lost my DS's twin at 8 weeks, granted neither of which will she EVER know about due to her complete lack of ability to be appropriate. She couldn't even say good news or good for you guys or anything.

We haven't told her about this pregnancy yet. I wish my DH would just tell him herself & leave me out of it but that wouldn't be nice of me to make him do that so instead we will be telling her over FaceTime (she lives 5+ hours away thank god). 

Let it slip accidently over the weekend to some girlfriends. Couple of them said oh we knew you were trying. No, no you didn't. I'm infertile, I don't get to try (in the context they mean) I get to have very expensive & invasive medical procedures. That made me kinda crazy. People have a very annoying habit of trying to make infertility into some type of imaginary medical condition. I'm very glass half full in that I will never have to use birth control again & they were like oh you never know! Yes, yes I do. Just like if I was in a car accident & had both hands amputated I know I'll never play piano. I know Ill never get pregnant with out IVF ISCI.

My parents were amazing though, one of the real cool things about IVF is you get to see the embryo being placed into your uterus on the ultrasound screen. Was able to share that with my parents & the picture of the morula stage embryo too. Very cool :-)

I feel you. we haven't told my family yet because they have been so unsupportive and sometimes just plain cruel with our three losses. probably going to tell them this weekend (via email) and I am so nervous! I know we will get some awful comments about using a gestational surrogate (as if we had a choice) and I am nervous about how I will be able to handle them. (((hugs))) to you.

Byrdie15

I thought you looked pregnant! I could tell because your face is fuller. Wtf.

mussalynn

Deardra77 said:

We are infertile and can only get pregnant through IVF. Took a couple of years & lots of invasive testing & treatments to get pregnant with my DS. When we told my MIL her response was "oh you know DH's brother & his wife had a miscarriage". No congratulations, nothing. Literally all she said. Needless to say I started crying. On top of everything we had gone through to get pregnant we had a SCH and lost my DS's twin at 8 weeks, granted neither of which will she EVER know about due to her complete lack of ability to be appropriate. She couldn't even say good news or good for you guys or anything.

We haven't told her about this pregnancy yet. I wish my DH would just tell him herself & leave me out of it but that wouldn't be nice of me to make him do that so instead we will be telling her over FaceTime (she lives 5+ hours away thank god). 

Let it slip accidently over the weekend to some girlfriends. Couple of them said oh we knew you were trying. No, no you didn't. I'm infertile, I don't get to try (in the context they mean) I get to have very expensive & invasive medical procedures. That made me kinda crazy. People have a very annoying habit of trying to make infertility into some type of imaginary medical condition. I'm very glass half full in that I will never have to use birth control again & they were like oh you never know! Yes, yes I do. Just like if I was in a car accident & had both hands amputated I know I'll never play piano. I know Ill never get pregnant with out IVF ISCI.

My parents were amazing though, one of the real cool things about IVF is you get to see the embryo being placed into your uterus on the ultrasound screen. Was able to share that with my parents & the picture of the morula stage embryo too. Very cool :-)

I didn't know that!  Super cool.

jessa1228

Just the standard invasive ones - was it planned, when did it happen, etc.

BUT, over the weekend H was on the phone with his dad (FIL has known for about 2 weeks now). FIL asked H if I was "getting fat yet". Then he asked if my boobs were sore and told H that he won't be able to play with them for a long time.

Normally I like my FIL, but WHAT THE FUCK.

mamatohne

CatLady22 said:

My due date is my mom's birthday. The first thing out of my sister's mouth when she found this out was " you and grandma got it on in the same day". Classy.

Your sister is funny!!!!

Maybeyesmaybeno

My husband is running for public office in addition to having a successful (read: busy) career as an attorney. I am due three days before the election in November. I have had people say: "Oh, do you really think he will have time for you and the baby when he has to be campaigning?" and, my favorite, "How great for the campaign that you are pregnant, it will be great for his image in the community!" What on earth are people thinking? Or, I guess, they're not thinking. First of all, our baby will be the most important part of our lives no matter how much we love our careers. It's also insulting that people would think we would have a baby whose arrival coincides with the election. I am the least public person, my husband had to work on me for weeks about even mentioning anything baby related on facebook.

Deardra77

@lincoln79 you really have been through the wringer! What a journey you have been through, so happy for you that you guys are now pregnant with a surrogate! You are a stronger woman than me with everything you have been through!!! With my DS I knew his little soul existed & I needed to do what ever possible to help him find his way into his body. Going through IF is like fighting for your babies life before they are even conceived.

Did you post on the 3rd party board about how to handle the jackass things people say about surrogates or even to be aware of what to expect so it isn't so shocking? I can only imagine!

Your baby is growing away getting ready to come into the world & meet you guys & that's all that matters at the end of the day. Exciting times!!!

Dimples0101

We only had one that cracked me up and it was from a kid. I was telling my nieces and their friend that I "have a baby in my belly" and my niece's friend who is 7 blurts out "Already?!" DD is almost 1.5 years. I burst out laughing and my sister got the whole thing on tape.

MrsAdventure

The only really sort of awkward thing I've had thus far is actually why I ended up telling one coworker. We have some pretty young, fresh out of high school kids working for us. One of the guys is actually pretty great, and by that I mean he is exceptionally hard working and reliable. We started right about the same time and though I am his boss, we sort of bonded over being new (new comers aren't always received well where I work in the beginning). For weeks after getting KU, I was super sick at work. Daily he would ask me if I was feeling okay, or point out that I always seemed sick, or ask if I'd seen a doctor. Genuine concern from a sweet, but clearly clueless 19 yo kid. It was nice at first, but it got to the point where I wanted to be like, 'Dude, stop drawing attention to the fact that I'm suddenly sick all the time, your not helping'. In finally pulled him aside a week ago and the look on his face was priceless. Like watching a cartoon lightbulb flicker to life. He just said, "Oh. Hmm. Gotcha." And left it at that. Thankfully, he's trustworthy and hasn't breathed a word.

musicalmommy3

CatLady22 said:

My due date is my mom's birthday. The first thing out of my sister's mouth when she found this out was " you and grandma got it on in the same day". Classy.

This is hysterical.

jlove253

KMW08 said:

tarynleann said:

"Please tell me you are not due during hunting season" -my dad

I tease dh that this baby will come during deer season. Even though I'm due a couple weeks after opening day, it's still very possible. He gets a bit stirred up about it -- all in good fun though. He really doesn't care, just as long as LO is healthy.

DH's family and friends have responded the same way! Dd was born end of oct and now with a mid nov baby everyone is giving him a hard time for ruining his hunting season.

phdprocrastinator

missnacholover said:

Nothing too bad, but both sets of grandparents asked us if this changed our house buying plans.  Ummmm, no.  Sorry we are not going to be homeowners when this baby is born, but WTF?  Why does it matter.  We live in a beautiful home and will be buying a house when baby is about 5-6 months old. 

*sigh*  I think in their minds we are doing things backwards but we are 33/34 and decided we need to get moving on the baby thing even if that means we (*GASP*!) live in a rental when he/she is born.

With DD, I got so mad at DH's aunt who kept insisting that we would need to buy a new house so we would have room for the baby.  Our house is small (two bedroom, 752 sq ft), but we live in a VHCOL area... and she inherited her house from her parents.  She's a total tea party type who always talks about how "entitled" younger generations are, yet here she was being more entitled than we were.  BTW... our house is totally fine for one kid.  Two kids... not so much.  But, we'll make it work as we look for houses after I graduate from my Ph.D. program.  Because we realize we need to be responsible and save money for such a major purchase (we'll be lucky to find anything in our area under $750k).

ejpetey

I'm single and this was unplanned but both my parents thought I was kidding at first... I'm not sure what I've done in the past to make them think I'd joke about something like this but whatever! Besides that I've gotten a lot of "...... congratulations...?" and ".... are you.... happy about it?" Only one person has asked if I'm going to keep it. haha.

ssstephanie214

i showed one of my close friends my u/s picture today to announce and the first thing she said was, "are you planning to go through with it?" 

ew? who says that??? i showed you the u/s picture, and you're asking me immediately if i'm going to get an abortion? there are so many other ways to ask. what are you going to do, how do you feel about it, etc. 

i just can't believe she said that. i don't automatically expect my friends to be excited right away, because it is probably shocking to them, but i really hated hearing that. i'm really upset about it. 

runningmama14

I have a friend who is 8 months pregnant and not really ecstatic about having a baby. When I told her, she asked how I felt about it, in a tone of voice that implied I wouldn't be excited either. It was strange.

Maelara

I put a picture (face down) of our ultra sound pic on the table when we were out with our friends and told them all I had a really cute picture to show them. So my one friend picks it up and looks confused. She then ask 'why are you showing me an ultrasound or sonogram picture?' Then proceeds to turn it every which way and look more confused. Meanwhile, everyone at the table is congratulating us. It wasnt until I came right out and said I was pregnant that she got it. Then she said 'Again?!' Lol, I was a little amused at least. Not her most shining moment.

Jatpa003

I have been married for almost 4 years and when I started telling coworkers I got "should I say congrats? Is this a good thing?" I was so shocked I just let my jaw hit the floor, a few seconds later I asked her why wouldn't this be a good thing? She went very red and left it at that.

shan24

The funniest reaction I got was from my doctor.

I had an appointment so she could refer me to the OBS clinic - they take care of all prenatal care.  Well the morning of my appointment, I had some serious m/s going on and probably didn't look as happy as I could have.  I remember her saying to me "You're pregnant!  That's exciting!" and I just kind of smirked at her (I was trying very hard not to toss my cookies).  Then, she said "Remind me again - you're...married?" to which I replied a very curt "no" (damn m/s).  "Oh, right," she said.  "And this pregnancy was planned?"  "Nope" (I'm now starting to do deep breathing techniques cause I don't want to soil the nice doctor's office).  I finally look up, see and uncomfortable look on the doctor's face and I can see the wheels turning in her head - not married, not planned, clearly not happy about it -  what do I say?  

I had to laugh.  I explained the situation (SO and I are common law and we own a home together but we aren't married and the baby wasn't planned but we're happy about it) and that I was a little short in my answers cause I wasn't feeling well.  The relief on her face at not inadvertently walking into a mine field was visible.  She laughed, pushed the garbage can towards me (just in case) and on we went with the appointment.

darvell89

Almost everyone (outside my family) thinks it's appropriate to ask if our baby was planned? I am 24 and my husband is 28 we have been married for 18 months and bought our first home 12 months ago. It's not like it was a one night stand! We have been lucky enough to travel the world together and after our most recent trip overseas decided to start our family. We were lucky enough to fall pregnant straight away. I just got sick of being asked if we had planned our pregnancy! Rant over

sparklingwhit

"you've got to be so happy you got pregnant before 30!" and "we were starting to think you didn't want kids"

Like my ovaries were going to magically explode in October when I turn 30.  LOL! 

Oh and you might not know that I wanted kids because I didn't announce on FB every time I boned down with DH or TTC.  Weirdos.  Noneyabusiness if I'm TTC or not.  HELL, noneyabusiness if I want kids or not ::)

Carebella

So far nothing too crazy. But I did get a "why did you wait so long to tell" question that threw me a little. Was PC in my answer but was definitely thinking, maybe because the first trimester is when you have the highest chance of miscarriage? Maybe because it's easier not to tell and then have to un-tell? Maybe because not everyone shares from the day they get their BFP. Oh well.

missnacholover

I got one this weekend.  After I told (by emailing an U/S pic) I got an odd comment.

"are you even 12 weeks yet?  If not, I don't know why you're telling us already." 

Ummmm, I'm past 12 weeks, and I will tell you when I want to tell you.

missymaye

Nothing awkward but a really cute story.  I told my nephew last week that I "had a baby in my belly" (he just turned 3).  He looked really confused and turned to his mom, my step sister, and whispered, "Missa's belly is going to pop!"  Later, once they got home, he said to her, "Remember when I was in your belly, mommy?  How did I get out?"  She distracted him and decided to leave that conversation for when he is a little older.  I thought it was precious!

NunyaBennis

So @Carebella‌ is too late, @missnacholover‌ is too early ... Pray tell, goldilocks mofos, when is juuuuuust right? Oh, yeah, I remember... whenever the parents are comfortable!

People.

Next announcement awkwardness: disclosing the sex.

I called to tell my mom that the results of my bloodwork came back normal and everything is looking good for me & our little girl. Her response was, "Well, I hope you guys won't be disappointed for too long. It really will be better for [my niece]."

WHAT?!?

1. I just told you that my bloodwork is normal and baby's chromosomes are all there and just fine! What the FUCK is there to be disappointed about???
2. We never indicated a preference! YOU are the ONLY one that said it's about time for a boy in this family.

... but thanks. Your support really does mean so much.

missnacholover

NunyaBennis said:

So @Carebella‌ is too late, @missnacholover‌ is too early ... Pray tell, goldilocks mofos, when is juuuuuust right? Oh, yeah, I remember... whenever the parents are comfortable! People. Next announcement awkwardness: disclosing the sex. I called to tell my mom that the results of my bloodwork came back normal and everything is looking good for me & our little girl. Her response was, "Well, I hope you guys won't be disappointed for too long. It really will be better for [my niece]." WHAT?!? 1. I just told you that my bloodwork is normal and baby's chromosomes are all there and just fine! What the FUCK is there to be disappointed about??? 2. We never indicated a preference! YOU are the ONLY one that said it's about time for a boy in this family. ... but thanks. Your support really does mean so much.

ARGH. 

ejoy0101

LMAO! Best one so far!

ejoy0101

We used IVF too and it's a little weird b/c some folks knew about it (my immediate family and close girlfriends) and some folks didn't. We're not married but just got engaged so we've had the fun of springing all the news at once to most of our family and friends. We've been together almost two years I'll be 40 in July and he'll be 36 in June so I didn't think it would be a shock to anyone that we're sort of double-time with the baby thing. Everyone has been happy and excited for us (at least to our faces lol) whether they know about the IVF or not. I think it matters how excited you are when you tell them because if you're super excited and happy with smiles then how stupid would a "was it planned?" comment be! Clearly it's irrelevant because you're obviously happy about this lol.

Best response yet was my aunt (my mom's sister) this past Sunday. We told her, my female cousin and cousin-in-law (male-cousin's wife who is expecting their third child in September). My aunt had a look on her face like she thought we may be joking: she looked at me then looked at DH, then looked back at me all suspect lol. I said "Im serious!" and that's when she hugged me and got all excited lol

Thankfully no rude or insensitive comments yet although we're expecting at least a few especially since we just got engaged and know some people will assume it's only b/c we're pregnant (not the case). But we're ready for them so bring it! Lol

ejoy0101

I seriously don't get what goes through some people's minds sometimes. Nothing but air I guess lol

DoubleUp8

We were super excited and people still asked if it was planned *sigh*

FirstBabyDoyle

I guess the was in planned thing is common.. My boss "was it planned?" Me "No not at all" my boss "you know there are ways to prevent that" me "I guess I really should have stayed awake during that class"
I'm a teacher ..our principal is a male..can ya tell?

megbanachek

We're telling our families this weekend & my sister in law is a bit of a loose canon so I'm thinking I'll have some good ones to add to this soon!

KitKat099

My sister-in-law recently had a baby in January and when we announced she did congratulate us but then said "well that didn't last long" I guess in reference to her baby being the youngest. The thing is, she knew we were supposed to have had a baby in February but had a miscarriage. I thought it was a weird thing to say.

mslynn2012

"Was it planned?" - female Co-workers

"Well, I thought you looked pregnant" (11 weeks now, still 20 pounds from my last pregnancy) - MIL

"You can't have the baby on thanksgiving!" Oh, ok. I'll just squeeze my legs real tight an hope for the best, mom!

Ugh!

Kimcraig14

My grandmother commented "I thought you were smarter than that" after telling her that I was 10 weeks pregnant after being married for 6 weeks. Umm...I'm 37 not 17.

LadyBird9

I haven't had any awkward or rude questions yet - but I didn't like it when I chose to tell certain people early, and they reminded me that I shouldn't be telling people so early just in case something happens.

I know bad shit can happen, and I chose to tell you because I'd tell you if something bad happened.  It rubbed me the wrong way when a miscarriage was the first thing they thought about when I told them I was pregnant!

Oh well... 

cindyNmark2010

sweetbabyrahe said:

these are too funny. I have gotten the "were you trying?" question which is always a classic. My teenage cousin said to DH "I did the math, someone had a good Valentine's day!"... awkward.

Am I crazy when I feel like the "were you trying" question is really just asking "hey is this an accident or what"?  In telling everyone we are getting A LOT of that question.  No one has made the Valentine's statistic comment yet for us.