UO

SNOakes

If I was the kid on the cover of that magazine...I would eventually be old enough to give a shit. I feel bad for what that kid will endure.

SNOakes

pistolpackinmomma said:

On the whole BFing topic, I know some who are uncomfortable around a mother nursing her newborn (my FIL being one of them) so to say that doing something that makes other uncomfortable is arrogant isn't fair. At 3 days old there is a nutritional benefit but should I have quit because FIL is a prude? And I tried to make him more comfortable by going into another room but that wasn't enough. He would literally walk out the door any time I needed to nurse. He couldn't be in the same house as me while nursing. I can't take other people's comfort levels into account when making decisions for my life. Some cultures are uncomfortable by seeing a woman's face exposed. I don't see us all covering our faces to try not to offend anybody. I only made it 6 weeks with DS but I can see myself nursing until 2 this time if all works out, though after 12-18 months-ish it will mostly be bedtime comfort thing as it's not uncommon for some kids to still want milk at that age before bed.

I'm so sorry he made you feel that way, not cool at all. I think I'd have to make DH nip that problem. You want to leave while I feed my child? By all means LEAVE completely and don't come back.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick

awc1986 said:

awc1986 said:

awc1986 said:

jane8188 said:

SNOakes said:

This may upset BF moms but I think it crazy to have a four year old and a two year old still breast feeding off the same mom. My DH's cousin leaves her boobs hanging out there during family parties while her kids run up to her for a snack. It's absolutely ridiculous and all of us are tierd of seeing her tits. If your child is in pre school s/he should not be drinking directly from you!

HA! I can't get this picture out of my head now. I hope this doesn't upset any BF moms, this is crazy!

If people don't want to see me nursing that can just not look.

Except this is real life and if you get your tits out in front of other people, you can't really take that attitude. It won't happen and it's arrogant to assume it.

Tell me what you think I should do then.

I'm not going to tell you what to do, so you don't have to be so sensitive. I just find it arrogant when people think its ok to make other people feel awkward, uncomfortable or inadequate because they want to show what a good mother they are. And IMO, extended breast feeding beyond 18mths is not for the benefit of the baby. It's for the mother and her inability to let her child grow up.

This is a lot easier to say before you actually breastfeed your own child.

Ah the "you're a FTM so your opinion is invalid" argument. The default response for someone who can't think of a good retort.

Actually that statement was made due to the reality of it. It is easier to speak of something you don't know. Take it how you want to though, I could give two shits.

Miles2Go

No quoting to eliminate the trees. However, I would like to address this statement:

"And IMO, extended breast feeding beyond 18mths is not for the benefit of the baby. It's for the mother and her inability to let her child grow up."

Who the eff are you to judge me and my abilities (or inabilities for that matter)? I am a rational thinking adult and I understand how to control my emotions. My girl turned 19 months yesterday. According to you, I have issues because she isn't weaned, when in reality, she isn't ready. I know this because, I don't know, I'm her mother? If she was ready to wean and I wasn't, well that would be tough titties for me. She gets to make that call.

I hoped to make it to a year, and after that, she can self wean as she pleases. If she decides to wean tomorrow, that will be hard on me, but it's fine. If she wants to wean at 2 or 2.5 or 3.... Fine. Just because my society (and you) have set some arbitrary deadline for a biologically natural process does not mean that I have to abide. And it certainly does not mean that my baby has to abide. No one explained these made up rules to her.

I just don't understand how and when it became anyone else's business what I do with MY child, MY breasts, and MY breast milk. When it comes to my family decisions, you are not entitled to an opinion. And guess what? When it comes to your child, I'm not entitled to an opinion. See how that works? Neat, right?

And for the record, we don't nurse in public anymore. If she asks to, I can tell her that we have to wait and she says "wait. Ok" and if she has a meltdown about it, I find someplace private. And that's not for any of you who are grossed out by my child needing milk; it's for her. Because she doesn't focus well on nursing if anything interesting is going on. I don't owe anyone an apology for doing what I perceive as best for my family.

KateBee

I hate the phrase "push present". When did that become a thing?

awc1986

Re: woodtick lady with the annoying screen name that's too complicated to @ -

I for one will not be getting my G cups out in public because I don't want to get cold tits and I'm respectful enough of the fact that other people don't want to see my baby sucking on my mozzarella coloured boobs while they're trying to drink their milky latte. Do what you want, but don't act surprised when not everyone wants to hold a conversation with you when your tatas are out in their face.

I will also be stopping BFing after 6 months. Flame me if you want, but I feel like that's long enough. My SIL BFed for 3mos with both her boys and guess what, they bonded with her perfectly well. I wasn't bread fed at all and my mother was my best friend until her death this year. Older children do not need to be breast fed. Some mothers just have a hard time letting go.

pistolpackinmomma

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick said:

awc1986 said:

awc1986 said:

awc1986 said:

jane8188 said:

SNOakes said:

This may upset BF moms but I think it crazy to have a four year old and a two year old still breast feeding off the same mom. My DH's cousin leaves her boobs hanging out there during family parties while her kids run up to her for a snack. It's absolutely ridiculous and all of us are tierd of seeing her tits. If your child is in pre school s/he should not be drinking directly from you!

HA! I can't get this picture out of my head now. I hope this doesn't upset any BF moms, this is crazy!

If people don't want to see me nursing that can just not look.

Except this is real life and if you get your tits out in front of other people, you can't really take that attitude. It won't happen and it's arrogant to assume it.

Tell me what you think I should do then. I'm not going to tell you what to do, so you don't have to be so sensitive. I just find it arrogant when people think its ok to make other people feel awkward, uncomfortable or inadequate because they want to show what a good mother they are. And IMO, extended breast feeding beyond 18mths is not for the benefit of the baby. It's for the mother and her inability to let her child grow up. This is a lot easier to say before you actually breastfeed your own child.
Ah the "you're a FTM so your opinion is invalid" argument. The default response for someone who can't think of a good retort. Actually that statement was made due to the reality of it. It is easier to speak of something you don't know. Take it how you want to though, I could give two shits.


It's true. My kid was going to be EBF, never sleep in our bed and lots of other things. Guess what. He has been FF since 6 weeks and winds up in our bed at some point in the night. It was so easy to say I would never do anything because it's wrong/unsafe but then be in the situation and realize it is what's best for your family at that moment.

busterbeagle

How is allowing your baby to self-wean for the mother's benefit? I think an 18 month old is still very much a baby. I mean, 95% of them still shit their pants. It's very difficult to get a child that age to do something just because the cultural norm says its time to.

That isn't to say I would never initiate/push weaning if I thought my child was too old. But I can't say what age that would be. And it probably isn't the same age for every baby. DD self weaned at 15 months. Definitely not too old, but she was ready, so she weaned. I don't think I possibly could have forced her to keep BFing for my "benefit" (although I wouldn't consider a complete lack a fertility while strongly desiring a second child a benefit).

CaliVal

Miles2Go said:

No quoting to eliminate the trees. However, I would like to address this statement:

"And IMO, extended breast feeding beyond 18mths is not for the benefit of the baby. It's for the mother and her inability to let her child grow up."

Who the eff are you to judge me and my abilities (or inabilities for that matter)? I am a rational thinking adult and I understand how to control my emotions. My girl turned 19 months yesterday. According to you, I have issues because she isn't weaned, when in reality, she isn't ready. I know this because, I don't know, I'm her mother? If she was ready to wean and I wasn't, well that would be tough titties for me. She gets to make that call.

I hoped to make it to a year, and after that, she can self wean as she pleases. If she decides to wean tomorrow, that will be hard on me, but it's fine. If she wants to wean at 2 or 2.5 or 3.... Fine. Just because my society (and you) have set some arbitrary deadline for a biologically natural process does not mean that I have to abide. And it certainly does not mean that my baby has to abide. No one explained these made up rules to her.

I just don't understand how and when it became anyone else's business what I do with MY child, MY breasts, and MY breast milk. When it comes to my family decisions, you are not entitled to an opinion. And guess what? When it comes to your child, I'm not entitled to an opinion. See how that works? Neat, right?

And for the record, we don't nurse in public anymore. If she asks to, I can tell her that we have to wait and she says "wait. Ok" and if she has a meltdown about it, I find someplace private. And that's not for any of you who are grossed out by my child needing milk; it's for her. Because she doesn't focus well on nursing if anything interesting is going on. I don't owe anyone an apology for doing what I perceive as best for my family.

*slow clap*


You are awesome.

ykristos

awc1986 said:

Re: woodtick lady with the annoying screen name that's too complicated to @ - I for one will not be getting my G cups out in public because I don't want to get cold tits and I'm respectful enough of the fact that other people don't want to see my baby sucking on my mozzarella coloured boobs while they're trying to drink their milky latte. Do what you want, but don't act surprised when not everyone wants to hold a conversation with you when your tatas are out in their face. I will also be stopping BFing after 6 months. Flame me if you want, but I feel like that's long enough. My SIL BFed for 3mos with both her boys and guess what, they bonded with her perfectly well. I wasn't bread fed at all and my mother was my best friend until her death this year. Older children do not need to be breast fed. Some mothers just have a hard time letting go.

So, it's disrespectful of mothers to nurse openly in public? Guess what? If anyone wants to hang out with me for at least a year after my kid is born, they're probably going to see my tits! Not because I'm a disrespectful whorebag, it's because my child will most likely be hungry in their presence and will need to eat. You sound ridiculously ill informed but have plenty of opinions on this topic -- that's always a fun mix. 

IBackBevo

kitchencolors said:

But ultimately whether it's for the benefit of the mom or for the benefit of the baby, WHO CARES????

And why is it okay to formula feed because that's mom's choice with a 2 month old but not okay to breastfeed because that's mom's choice with a 3 year old?

I say butt the eff out of other people's family decisions.

ETA: I think the word but/butt should have two "t"s in this case.

I was responding more from the position that every person I have ever talked to or known who has continued to breastfeed a 2+ child has used the reasoning: "It is what is best for my child" -- Usually said with an air of either superiority or with the implication that those who don't are somehow not doing what is best for their child. 

To some degree, I do think you are right.  It isn't my place to judge.  And if I had someone say to me: "Yeah, I BF my 4 year old because I like breast feeding. It keeps me skinny.  I can eat an extra donut." Or "I get personal satisfaction out of nursing;"  Or "I like the close bond and I don't want to let that go because then it will force me to admit my baby is no longer a baby"  I would actually respect that a lot more.

But it seems like I have only encountered the Moms who act like they are self-sacrificing, breast-feeding martyrs by continuing to BF their 3 or 4 year old...and who get on their high horse about it and make me (and others like me) feel bad about the fact that I am not BFing.  I guess my only point is that I don't see them as performing some great civil service to their children or society by continuing to BF for that long.

Edit: clarity

lv2011

Miles2Go said:

No quoting to eliminate the trees. However, I would like to address this statement: "And IMO, extended breast feeding beyond 18mths is not for the benefit of the baby. It's for the mother and her inability to let her child grow up." Who the eff are you to judge me and my abilities (or inabilities for that matter)? I am a rational thinking adult and I understand how to control my emotions. My girl turned 19 months yesterday. According to you, I have issues because she isn't weaned, when in reality, she isn't ready. I know this because, I don't know, I'm her mother? If she was ready to wean and I wasn't, well that would be tough titties for me. She gets to make that call. I hoped to make it to a year, and after that, she can self wean as she pleases. If she decides to wean tomorrow, that will be hard on me, but it's fine. If she wants to wean at 2 or 2.5 or 3.... Fine. Just because my society (and you) have set some arbitrary deadline for a biologically natural process does not mean that I have to abide. And it certainly does not mean that my baby has to abide. No one explained these made up rules to her. I just don't understand how and when it became anyone else's business what I do with MY child, MY breasts, and MY breast milk. When it comes to my family decisions, you are not entitled to an opinion. And guess what? When it comes to your child, I'm not entitled to an opinion. See how that works? Neat, right? And for the record, we don't nurse in public anymore. If she asks to, I can tell her that we have to wait and she says "wait. Ok" and if she has a meltdown about it, I find someplace private. And that's not for any of you who are grossed out by my child needing milk; it's for her. Because she doesn't focus well on nursing if anything interesting is going on. I don't owe anyone an apology for doing what I perceive as best for my family.

Yeah, I tried Bf'ing DD. It didn't work beyond 2 months. I have no idea how long I would have if it had worked better. I'll find out this time around.

Women of the world: I don't give a fuck what you do with your breasts or how you feed your kid. I may find it "weird" or "uncomfortable" to see one of you BF'ing a 4 year old in public, but that's on me- not you. Your kid is getting proper nourishment? Carry on.

awc1986

@ all the butthurt BFing ladies.

This is an UO thread, not a "follow my instructions" thread. Do what you want to do with you tits, but just don't expect everyone to have the same opinion.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick

awc1986 said:

Re: woodtick lady with the annoying screen name that's too complicated to @ - I for one will not be getting my G cups out in public because I don't want to get cold tits and I'm respectful enough of the fact that other people don't want to see my baby sucking on my mozzarella coloured boobs while they're trying to drink their milky latte. Do what you want, but don't act surprised when not everyone wants to hold a conversation with you when your tatas are out in their face. I will also be stopping BFing after 6 months. Flame me if you want, but I feel like that's long enough. My SIL BFed for 3mos with both her boys and guess what, they bonded with her perfectly well. I wasn't bread fed at all and my mother was my best friend until her death this year. Older children do not need to be breast fed. Some mothers just have a hard time letting go.

See there's the difference. I wouldn't flame you for BF for one day or 3 years. It's your body, your baby, and your choice.
And, BTW who said I breastfeed with my titties hanging out all over the place? I didn't. Just because I nursed my DS, and I don't believe that there should be age restrictions on nursing, doesn't mean I don't know how to use a cover.

Oh, and FWIW, I didn't even nurse my son past 18 months. But, if my body could have handled it, I would have because he wasn't ready to wean when we stopped.

pistolpackinmomma

awc1986 said:

@ all the butthurt BFing ladies.

This is an UO thread, not a "follow my instructions" thread. Do what you want to do with you tits, but just don't expect everyone to have the same opinion.

Lol at saying we're butthurt. And clearly this must be your first UO thread. The point is to spark a lively debate, which is what you have here.

awc1986

ykristos said:

awc1986 said:

Re: woodtick lady with the annoying screen name that's too complicated to @ -

I for one will not be getting my G cups out in public because I don't want to get cold tits and I'm respectful enough of the fact that other people don't want to see my baby sucking on my mozzarella coloured boobs while they're trying to drink their milky latte. Do what you want, but don't act surprised when not everyone wants to hold a conversation with you when your tatas are out in their face.

I will also be stopping BFing after 6 months. Flame me if you want, but I feel like that's long enough. My SIL BFed for 3mos with both her boys and guess what, they bonded with her perfectly well. I wasn't bread fed at all and my mother was my best friend until her death this year. Older children do not need to be breast fed. Some mothers just have a hard time letting go.

So, it's disrespectful of mothers to nurse openly in public? Guess what? If anyone wants to hang out with me for at least a year after my kid is born, they're probably going to see my tits! Not because I'm a disrespectful whorebag, it's because my child will most likely be hungry in their presence and will need to eat. You sound ridiculously ill informed but have plenty of opinions on this topic -- that's always a fun mix. 

And you sound like an annoying bitch who can't appreciate when someone has a different opinion to you and that 90% of people don't want to see your floppy tits in public.

I'm out.

You're getting on my tits.

awc1986

pistolpackinmomma said:

awc1986 said:

@ all the butthurt BFing ladies.

This is an UO thread, not a "follow my instructions" thread. Do what you want to do with you tits, but just don't expect everyone to have the same opinion.

Lol at saying we're butthurt. And clearly this must be your first UO thread. The point is to spark a lively debate, which is what you have here.

Actually I've missed about 2 UO threads since they started. I'll be sitting the rest of this one out though. I don't have the patience for a full on BFing argument today.

ykristos

@awc1986 -- Oh darling, I do so appreciate a good debate and I welcome differing opinions... but you're spreading a shit ton of misinformation, you're body shaming (floppy tits? please, they're fabulous), and you're perpetuating oppressive views about women. Get your shit together. I'd rather be an annoying bitch than a self-hating ignoramus. 

Edit: Funny you say I'm getting on your tits. The issue at hand is that you are, in fact, getting all up on MY tits and what I should be doing with them. 

candrew05

@Rocknroll64 I don't think I've usually agreed witb your UOs in the past but loved everything you said in this one lol.

I'm a fan of WalMart here. I've always gotten amazing service and although I don't do all my shopping there I like most products. Maybe there is a big difference between Canada and US stores?

My UO today...umm..I've got a bump and still do crunches. I know many people disagree with it, but until I feel myself squishing baby I'm going to keep doing it.

Edit: totally realized I used "lol" in an annoying way. I'm guilty.

busterbeagle

pistolpackinmomma said:

awc1986 said:

@ all the butthurt BFing ladies.

This is an UO thread, not a "follow my instructions" thread. Do what you want to do with you tits, but just don't expect everyone to have the same opinion.

Lol at saying we're butthurt. And clearly this must be your first UO thread. The point is to spark a lively debate, which is what you have here.

Not her first UO thread. I feel like she's got something deliberately button-pushing pretty regularly. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it's UO and that's what it's for. And it would be boing without it. Buuuut. We all know the way we play this game. It's not all blowing steam up someone's ass because we agree.

danabsd

KateBee said:

I hate the phrase "push present". When did that become a thing?

The Real Housewives of rich and plastic?

IBackBevo

I always thought the other big issues with Wal-Mart (besides how they treat employees) was that it was known that at least some of their products were from basically child labor factories in China...sort of like the whole Kathie Lee Gifford/K-Mart thing.  

tna112

Legitimate question here about tandem feeding, how does it work exactly? Obviously your feeding two kids at once but how does your body adjust? Do you assign each child a side? I was always taught that your milk adjusts to the child's specific nutritional needs so how does that work with a newborn who obviously needs a richer milk and an older child who's would be thinner?

Rocknroll64

candrew05 said:

@Rocknroll64 I don't think I've usually agreed witb your UOs in the past but loved everything you said in this one lol. I'm a fan of WalMart here. I've always gotten amazing service and although I don't do all my shopping there I like most products. Maybe there is a big difference between Canada and US stores? My UO today...umm..I've got a bump and still do crunches. I know many people disagree with it, but until I feel myself squishing baby I'm going to keep doing it. Edit: totally realized I used "lol" in an annoying way. I'm guilty.

awww we're bonding over Wal-mart.  Love it! 

buggywhips

*Note to self: Post excessive amounts of BF'ing pics with my floppy tits hanging out after LO comes.* 

tna112

And quick rant, I feel so out of the loop cause I've not been able to get on here the last couple days due to tax training. Boo!

ykristos

buggywhips said:

*Note to self: Post excessive amounts of BF'ing pics with my floppy tits hanging out after LO comes.* 

Hell, you should just add one to your siggy. Make it a FB profile pic. Go big or go home.

busterbeagle

( . )( . )

IBackBevo

tna112 said:

Legitimate question here about tandem feeding, how does it work exactly? Obviously your feeding two kids at once but how does your body adjust? Do you assign each child a side? I was always taught that your milk adjusts to the child's specific nutritional needs so how does that work with a newborn who obviously needs a richer milk and an older child who's would be thinner?

I've always wondered about this, too, since the nutritional content of breast milk is supposed to change with a child's age.  Not that it is an issue for me as I won't be tandum feeding...but it would seem like one or the other child would not be getting the ideal nutritional needs for his/her age.  I know that when I went in for my 1 year appointment, my pedi made a HUGE deal about getting my DS off of Alimentum (for MPSI) and on to a toddler formula since he can't have cow's milk.  Apparently, they even make an Alimentum toddler now.

julesf817

ykristos said:

@awc1986 -- Oh darling, I do so appreciate a good debate and I welcome differing opinions... but you're spreading a shit ton of misinformation, you're body shaming (floppy tits? please, they're fabulous), and you're perpetuating oppressive views about women. Get your shit together. I'd rather be an annoying bitch then a self-hating ignoramus. 

Edit: Funny you say I'm getting on your tits. The issue at hand is that you are, in fact, getting all up on MY tits and what I should be doing with them. 

busterbeagle

kitchencolors said:

Lactating boobs are the opposite of floppy, in my experience.  I'd say "engorged" or "full" or "big as a house" are much more accurate.

Good morning, porn star boobies!

tna112

IBackBevo said:

tna112 said:

Legitimate question here about tandem feeding, how does it work exactly? Obviously your feeding two kids at once but how does your body adjust? Do you assign each child a side? I was always taught that your milk adjusts to the child's specific nutritional needs so how does that work with a newborn who obviously needs a richer milk and an older child who's would be thinner?

I've always wondered about this, too, since the nutritional content of breast milk is supposed to change with a child's age.  Not that it is an issue for me as I won't be tandum feeding...but it would seem like one or the other child would not be getting the ideal nutritional needs for his/her age.  I know that when I went in for my 1 year appointment, my pedi made a HUGE deal about getting my DS off of Alimentum (for MPSI) and on to a toddler formula since he can't have cow's milk.  Apparently, they even make an Alimentum toddler now.


I won't be tandem feeding either as I had to quit nursing DS at 9 months because my supply dropped out but I was always curious as to how this worked if anyone had experience with it.

Rocknroll64

@awc1986  FFS, you don't need to spazz out.  Calm down.

I usually enjoy your comments in the UO thread, although I disagree with you on your opinion about breastfeeding, but why do you care so much? It's not like you're the first person to say they don't like breastfeeding in public, did you really think that everyone would agree with you? 

MamaCheez

I'm VERY excited for porn star boobies!

CaliVal

tna112 said:

Legitimate question here about tandem feeding, how does it work exactly? Obviously your feeding two kids at once but how does your body adjust? Do you assign each child a side? I was always taught that your milk adjusts to the child's specific nutritional needs so how does that work with a newborn who obviously needs a richer milk and an older child who's would be thinner?

DD weaned at 14 months but I spoke to a LC and she told me the colostrum/milk conforms to the needs of the newborn. It actually worried me when I was still nursing and got pregnant that if I was nursing DD still when I had baby #2 that my supply wouldn't work/be enough for the newborn. I regret not finding that out until after.

CaliVal

kitchencolors said:

Lactating boobs are the opposite of floppy, in my experience.  I'd say "engorged" or "full" or "big as a house" are much more accurate.

Totes. The floppiness comes later.

IBackBevo

Sorry to burst the bubbles for all the FTM's, but my boobs NEVER looked like porn star boobs even when they were engorged with milk. I think it requires an implant to get that look...or really good genes.

Rocknroll64

Am I the only one who bursts out laughing at "floppy boobs?" 

pistolpackinmomma

IBackBevo said:

Sorry to burst the bubbles for all the FTM's, but my boobs NEVER looked like porn star boobs even when they were engorged with milk. I think it requires an implant to get that look...or really good genes.

Mine most certainly did but I spent a lot of time engorged since once my milk came in I had an over supply.

tna112

CaliVal said:

tna112 said:

Legitimate question here about tandem feeding, how does it work exactly? Obviously your feeding two kids at once but how does your body adjust? Do you assign each child a side? I was always taught that your milk adjusts to the child's specific nutritional needs so how does that work with a newborn who obviously needs a richer milk and an older child who's would be thinner?

DD weaned at 14 months but I spoke to a LC and she told me the colostrum/milk conforms to the needs of the newborn. It actually worried me when I was still nursing and got pregnant that if I was nursing DD still when I had baby #2 that my supply wouldn't work/be enough for the newborn. I regret not finding that out until after.

So does the older child get the same milk as the newborn? I just get this funny image of the newborn telling the older sibling "you had your time, this is my milk"