Pregnancy After Loss Safe Space

cmy089 · August 2022

Thanks. I agree, it’s tough.

savnana · August 2022

Well said, I completely agree. Having to manage other’s emotions was one of the most challenging aspects of my MMC.

I had a MMC in March at 8w3d. Chemical the first week of June. Currently, 5w3d and I have Covid. Trying my hardest to not let my anxieties get the better of me.

MsBeachNJ · August 2022

Thanks for the warm welcome ladies! I have been struggling with telling family or not, I really wanted to tell my mom this weekend, it was her birthday and I'm 6 weeks along, but I know she would get so emotionally invested right away & be so worried about me, that I decided to wait until after we at least have our first ultrasound on the 30th. With our prior loss, I hadn't yet told her that we were pregnant, so I just told her that I was having a miscarriage, so she never had the opportunity to be excited about it, just to support me, I feel like then I didn't have to manage her disappointment as well.

wiscomom13 · August 2022

Im in the exact same boat had some spotting over the weekene nothing major but still so anxious i can't get my mind off of it after experiencing a loss in march as well. I had tender breasts but those also arent tender anymore...im starting to really get scared..they are drawing my labs today and Thursday for peace of mind even though they think todays labs are too early..currently either 5 weeks or 4 weeks 6 days depending on the app.

acleverusername · August 2022

@knottie8479d3c48f6abf9alabs at this stage, especially the 2nd beta, will be helpful for sure.

yelaklu13 · August 2022

I have my first u/s tomorrow and am terrified. In 2016 I had missed miscarriage of twins, went in to that u/s so confident that it was a healthy pregnancy since I was close to my second trimester and then had major complications following the actual miscarriage. Then another miscarriage December of last year. This time it feels like every other day I have extreme symptoms, then nothing. I know it’s likely me overthinking, but I just have so much anxiety to be in that room again.

MsBeachNJ · August 2022

Thinking of you @yelaklu13 and sending prayers for a great appointment!! I am also very anxious about my appointment coming Tuesday, I am also feeling the lack of symptoms some days and it is creating a lot of anxiety as I bring myself right back to that place of loss but choosing to believe that all is well until I know differently. Hang in there

flowerchild2022 · August 2022

After two back-to-back miscarriages at the beginning of this year (one a missed miscarriage discovered at ultrasound) I'm feeling those nerves. I was doing pretty well keeping the anxiety in check and trying to be optimistic and focus on the day-by-day, but all of the sudden this week I'm just feeling that pit of worry in my chest. Since yesterday I'm just feeling like something is wrong, even though outwardly there is nothing that should make me think that. First ultrasound isn't for another week and a half, and I'm hoping everything will be okay.

Any tips from others on what you do to stay calm and sort of re-program your brain when it starts to get stuck in the negative, worried mindset?

yelaklu13 · August 2022

Thank you for the prayers, the ultrasound went good. I saw a baby and a heart beat and measuring pretty close to what I had in mind. The pictures weren’t very clear and they had trouble measuring the heart rate with their equipment possible due to scar tissue, but my anxiety is at ease for now. Just have to get through the next 4 weeks and then I’ll feel more comfortable

acleverusername · August 2022

@yelaklu13 yay! I'm so happy for you!

@flowerchild2022 I know you probably hear that a lot... affirmations / meditations... and for me, I just had trouble getting started (finding the right tools). I ended up downloading Peaceful Pregnancy app which has some good affirmations. There are also meditations on YouTube that focus on PAL.

brianaj86 · August 2022

I found out I had a silent miscarriage last January during the first ultrasound. I had no symptoms, so when the baby was only measuring 6w2d with no heartbeat, my world shattered. It was our first pregnancy ever. The worst part was telling our family we were pregnant, and at the time we had no clue the baby had already passed away.

My body took forever to realize I was no longer pregnant, so at what would have been 11 weeks I saw my OB to help jump start my bodies realization.

Since then, we had been trying with no luck until just last week I took a pregnancy test the day after my missed period and it was positive. Tomorrow will be 5weeks, but I can’t bring myself to be excited about it. I’m the back of my head I can’t help but think, what if this baby has passed already and I don’t even know it again.

acleverusername · August 2022

@brianaj86 I hear you so loud and clear. You're in "good" company here (relatively speaking, because we've all suffered this incredible pain). We're here to support you through these next few weeks until you can get confirmation blood test / ultrasound. I would contact your OB to see if you can be seen earlier than the usual 8 to 10 weeks to help with your anxiety. At the minimum, they might be able to run a few betas to help confirm the pregnancy and hopefully show appropriate rise in beta values.

brianaj86 · August 2022

@acleverusername Thank you, I’m very grateful for this safe space. Yes, that is a great idea. We are currently moving across the country, but once we get to our final destination I will search for a new OB and schedule some blood work.

ladyofarlington · August 2022

Today is the day during my last pregnancy that I was informed about my missed miscarriage. After already seeing the heartbeat, although knowing there was only a 50/50 shot at viability due to the large SCH, it was still devastating. Processing a ton of feelings today and praying for the best with this pregnancy. Seeing this baby’s heartbeat yesterday and knowing I do not have another SCH is reassuring, but I’m still anxious to make it through the first trimester already.

knottiefc7e0e40b7822c62 · August 2022

Hi! I had a MC in May and currently am 6 weeks along. When I first took a test my areolas were dark and breasts were swollen.

Today at 6 weeks they are back to their normal color and not tender. Has anybody experienced anything similar? Breast color or tenderness fluctuating?

I’m nervous given my history! Thanks in advance!

etnyah · August 2022

I haven’t paid attention to color, but fullness and soreness definitely fluctuates for me. My boobs were extremely sore the first couple weeks, to the point where I wasn’t able to sleep on my stomach. Around the end of week 5 it switched to a low-grade soreness, it’s been like that since and I’m 8w2d today. I haven’t had a day of zero soreness though.

Are you still having other symptoms? At 6 weeks it’s completely normal for symptoms to come and go, but if they all stop at once you should contact your doctor.

knottiefc7e0e40b7822c62 · August 2022

I have no other symptoms. Thanks!

alessiamariee · August 2022

Hi all! I’m new to these boards and to everything pregnancy really. I had a chemical pregnancy in July at 4 weeks — it was our first time trying and I couldn’t believe we were successful. Now I’m five weeks today literally the cycle after. I’m grateful we seem to be very fertile but I can’t help but be a little panicked that it’s too good to be true after last month. I was completely crushed by the chemical even though I only knew I was pregnant for 8 days. This is hard! Sending everyone calm and stress-free vibes and wishing the absolute best for all of us 🧡

acleverusername · August 2022

@ams1024 I can 100% relate to the feeling about being crushed by a CP even if you'd known about it for only a week. When that happened to us in Sep 2021, I purchased all the pregnancy books in the space of the 5 days I thought this was going to be it.

I hope this pregnancy is what gets you your THB.

arelianrae · August 2022

Hi all! My husband and I got married in September 21, I have 2 children from a previous marriage and he doesn't have any. He is such an amazing bonus dad to my kids and he really wants one of his own. We have been trying since we got married last year. We had a blighted ovum pregnancy and I had to have a D&C in June. I am currently 6 weeks pregnant. Waiting for doctors confirmation on Sept 7th 🤞

wilsonwayworld13 · August 2022

Trying to see if my name updated, we are 8 weeks and we’re told we are measuring small but not to worry. These doctors don’t understand the power of their words

etnyah · August 2022

Doctors have no idea! They see everything, so many tend to have a way too relaxed demeanor with patients. Did they tell you how much smaller? Personally, a few days wouldn’t worry me, but a week or more would (although it also works out often). Is it possible you ovulate later than you initially thought? I’m sorry you’re worried now, I hope you get another US soon to check on progress.

ddaddona · August 2022

hi everyone, i went through 2 miscarriages over the last year and am currently 8w 4d (LMP) when we went for an ultrasound last thursday (which would be 7w 6d LMP) i was measuring 8w 1d. i had blood test for my most recent miscarriage purposes on 7/15 and they told me i was ovulating. i’m super nervous why i would be measuring a couple days ahead. is that normal? google doesn’t seem to help too much

MsBeachNJ · August 2022

Well I was hoping to be able to update today after my first appointment feeling super reassured, however, my ultrasound says I am measuring a full week behind. I don't know how that is possible when my body gives off super evident signs of ovulation and I know when we had sex, and it wasn't after that weekend that I can recall. Has anyone ever had his happen and have it be successful? The last time we were measuring behind, (I was also bleeding) but we lost the baby. Dr. said the sac looked good and the heartbeat was 123, which is normal for 6 week range, but I should be 7 weeks 3 days today and she said she'd estimate 6 weeks 2 days. I am going back next Tuesday for another ultrasound for another dating. Is it possible I ovulated a full week later & sperm lasts that long in the body?? Just doesn't seem likely to me and I'm having a really hard time not being totally devastated. Anyone have any wisdom?

knottiefc7e0e40b7822c62 · August 2022

Symptoms have started up again! It’s so hard to not be overly vigilant after loss! Sending love and light to all mamas out there!

returning_bump_member · August 2022

@MsBeachNJ I know sperm can live for 5 days in out bodies, so I'd say it's quite possible. And growth "catch-up" definitely happens too. I know it's really difficult to not worry, especially after having a loss, but if your doc is saying things are looking good, try to trust that.

Sending all the good vibes!

ilovebeaches2022 · September 2022

Praying this is our rainbow! I have had 3 MCs in the last year. My most recent was in July and to my suprise I never got a period and got pregnant right away! This is so crazy since I have PCOS and struggled with infertility for a long time. The first 2 pregnancies were with fertility meds and the 3rd & 4th were natural after making huge diet/lifestyle changes. I’m so glad to have this community because tbh I’m really not ready to tell anyone this time yet. I usually tell my best friend right away but haven't mentioned it to her even. I feel like at this point my hubby and I are trying to be optimistic but also are super realistic given the past for us and so while we really want this baby to live and for it to workout, I just don’t want to deal with everyone’s optimism in case it doesn’t. I also feel like it’s been awkward with friends and family because they don’t know what to say or do after loss and I just don’t want to deal with that all in the event that this one doesn’t make it. We choose to wait until 8 weeks for an ultrasound since I got early ultrasounds for my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies. The 2nd pregnancy the baby looked perfect and I feel that it gave us a lot of hope and we felt super broken when there was no heartbeat a couple weeks later. Last time they didn’t see anything and thought it might be eotopic which cause a whole lot of stress and anxiety then ended up not developing properly a couple weeks later. I’ve had all my miscarriages between 8.5-10.1 so I feel like for not I’m just trusting it’s out of my control, praying for our rainbow, and trying to be happy today I’m still pregnant.

ilovebeaches2022 · September 2022

@knottieb2 @stephbomh I also had a MC in July and am pregnant again! Glad I’m not the only only ❤️🌈❤️

ilovebeaches2022 · September 2022

@acleverusername I totally understand! My mom has taken it the worst. She is trying to be supportive but her grief is just too much for me and her feelings have caused me way too much anxiety since I haven’t been In a good place to comfort her. (She says things like how she can’t sleep because she’s so sad for me). Plus if I told her now she would ask a million question everyday and I just want to keep it to ourselves right now too.

acleverusername · September 2022

@ilovebeaches2022 I have told 3 "live" people whom I know would respect when I said "I'm PG, but I don't want to talk about it until I'm ready to talk about it." and then everyone else has been my infertility community peeps, online and IRL. I'm waiting for NIPT and maybe even until week 14 to tell everyone else. This means my sister, my best friend don't know. And I know they'll be upset that I didn't tell them sooner, but I have to self-preserve.

I hope this is it for you! 3 MCs in one year is too much grief. When is your 8 week appointment?

yelaklu13 · September 2022

I have been keeping this pregnancy secret as well. I feel bad not telling my mom and sister and only have told 2 friends who know my history anyway and 2 other people because I had to back out of a bachelorette trip for this weekend. My mom doesn’t even know about my second because she said it “was probably for the best” when I had my first MC, she apologized, but still was extremely hard to hear

acleverusername · September 2022

yelaklu13 OMG, that's so cruel to hear from your mother and the worst is like "I KNOW YOU MEANT IT A DIFFERENT WAY but holy cow try for one moment to put yourself in my shoes and hear you saying that to you!!!" 12 weeks will be here before you know it.

rainbowmamma93 · September 2022

I'm very thankful for this groups, but also sad that others had to go through this before. I lost two babies at seven weeks. I'm six weeks and six days today, so I'm feeling quite nervous. I am having lots of pregnancy symptoms, ranging from sore breasts, nausea, hunger and constipation, but it won't feel real until I get to hold my baby.
April usually brings showers. Let's hope it will also bring us our rainbow babies ❤️🌈.

ilovebeaches2022 · September 2022

@acleverusername thank you! I don’t go in until the 15th! I should be 8.5 weeks then

lunarelf · September 2022

I hear you all about nerves amd anxiety with this pregnancy. I lost a pregnancy last summer.....I had thought I was 8 weeks but when I got an ultrasound to check on why I was bleeding, I was devastated to hear I was only measuring 5 weeks and they could not find a heart beat. We kept trying, and every period after was a feeling of failure and a reminder of what happened...I am just now through 6 weeks pregnant and I am nervous to make an appointment for the 10 week ultrasound, just in case something happens between now and then. I am having symptoms, and I remember last year thinking that I didn't feel pregnant, near the end. But as I try to celebrate every bout of nausea, sore breasts, and smell sensitivity, as a positive validation of being pregnant, I also question when I'm not feeling those symptoms. I also had swollen ankles the other night and I got worried that it was a sign of miscarriage, but it went down overnight. I didn't have that this early with my daughter (2.5 years old) I send all the good vibes to us all as we walk through this heartwrenching but amazing journey!

audreydee16 · September 2022

6 weeks and 1 day as of today. I’ve officially made it 5 days past where I did with my MC in January. I hate that I’m afraid to be excited and tell everyone I know about our good news…I’m just afraid it’ll be that many more people I’ll have to call and notify if this turns into another loss. My husband and I have decided to wait until October to start letting our family know.

I’m calling tomorrow to schedule my first appointment…I feel like once I see that little heartbeat on the US I’ll feel more confident. My sweet little girl is 4 and has been asking for me to have another baby for almost a year now…she’d make the most incredible big sister and I just want to give her that chance.

MsBeachNJ · September 2022

*Update for anyone following along. I had a repeat u/s today, and the baby has grown a week, and has a strong heartbeat. I'm now measuring 7 weeks, 2 days, H/B of 151, all looks great! Guess I'm just a week behind where I thought I was! Thank you for all who shared reassuring thoughts! Praying we all get our rainbows

etnyah · September 2022

@MsBeachNJ that’s amazing news! I’m so happy and relieved for you, keep growing, baby!

brianaj86 · September 2022

I was finally able to go for HCG testing yesterday and the OB office called me to say my levels were very high, so they wanted to move up my ultrasound. My level was 244,950… and I’m only 6w6d.

It could be molar, ectopic, or twins. The ultrasound is tomorrow, given my last pregnancy history I’m very anxious.

On the bright side, this explains why my nausea has been through the roof.

MsBeachNJ · September 2022

@brianaj86 Hoping for a terrific outcome for you!

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