Pregnancy After Loss Safe Space

acleverusername

This is a safe space to discuss all of the anxieties that comes with being pregnant after experiences a loss (of any type: from a chemical to perinatal to early infant).

acleverusername

@BumpAdmin please sticky!

acleverusername

I had a 1:1 with one of my engineering managers today (I support his team) and I told him I'm PG again. I had to take 2 weeks of in May due to miscarriage and then ALSO GETTING COVID 2 days after MMC was discovered, which prevented my getting a D&C for 10 days, so I figured leveling with him ahead of time was a good idea in case something like that were to happen again. I'm truly blessed that I work with people with whom I feel totally comfortable having these conversations. 

Of course, he said the perfunctory "congrats" and asked me how I was feeling. I was honest in saying that I don't really feel excited given our history, and he got that. But he was super sweet and told me that if I needed to engineer a "lower-stress working environment" for the foreseeable future, that he would do whatever he could to help. 

dogmom512

@acleverusername I am also in the May club of both a miscarriage and Covid. Cautious congrats on your positive!

knottiefa9c1574127584c0

I had a missed miscarriage and then d&c in December. A chemical pregnancy in end of may beginning of June. I just got my positive home pregnancy test on Sunday then again Monday. My missed period would not be due until this upcoming Friday (I tested 6 days before with early response). I plan on testing again before calling my doctor but I'm nervous something might happen. I'm trying to stay relaxed and positive.

etnyah

Wow, seems like a lot of us had CPs/losses in May. Super fun club to be in. Hopefully we’ll all make it through this time!

acleverusername

@knottiefa9c1574127584c0 that's a lot of losses in a short period of time and I know the feeling (this is my 3rd pregnancy in 10 months). Cautious congrats to you. 

ipkorte

5 weeks pregnant today after a miscarriage in march, and I don’t know if i’m queasy from morning sickness or anxiety. I was spotting for two days but it was dark and only when wiping, but still makes me very nervous. I don’t know how to calm down the right way but I am for sure exhausted. Dr. Google isn’t doing me any good either. I feel your cautions, mamas. We got this

wilsonwayworld13

5 weeks today and I discussed with my husband the possibility that we are having a missed miscarriage again. I’ve had one previously and even though i gave birth to a healthy girl in 2021 my fear is through the roof. I want a son and that’s what i’m hoping for but. I have hardly any symptoms. Some back pain and some nausea and food aversions and frequently peeing but i have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that there nothing growing and that in 2 weeks when i go to have my ultrasound the won’t be any heart beat or growth once again. Please helped me

acleverusername

@knottie1b6a4f1a60462e2e how far along are you now? Are you able to call the OB office and explain that you're having a lot of anxiety? Not having symptoms is fairly normal (I don't really have any), but I totally understand the fear. For me, having an hCG drawn this week (at 5w3d) helped alleviate some of the anxiety. Plus, my first ultrasound is next week at 6w3d because my doctor didn't want to torture me given my history. Another option is a private sonographer. 

wilsonwayworld13

that’s a great idea thank you i will definitely give them a call monday i’m sure they won’t mind

ddaddona

with my first loss around this time last year my progesterone levels weren’t where they should be. i’m at 5 weeks now after another miscarriage in late may. dr has me on endometrin, anyone have any experience/success with this medication? 

acleverusername

My anxiety today was REALLY high. A good friend told me last night that she's 8 weeks after her first successful transfer and they're coming to visit us next weekend. I wanted so badly to tell her I'm also pregnant and only 2 weeks behind her, and that we can be pregnant together but I was paralyzed with fear that we'll both get all worked up and excited about the prospect and then I'll end up miscarrying again. I took a long walk on the beach today taking long breaths in and out to calm myself down. It's just so different go through this when you have only losses to look back on. I am sad that I can't be more excited. 

knottiea50effbde3a80cde

I had a missed miscarriage in December and am now 5 weeks 3 days per lmp with this pregnancy. However my betas were drawn and I had hcg of 541 then 1000 48 hours later, my progesterone was 18.3 which in my mmc my hcg did double way better. I also have thyroid problems and my labs were normal in the beginning of July but now my tsh is up to 3.5. I had morning sickness and breast tenderness for like a week but it all went away. Instead I now have the same cramping and back pain I had in December. I’m waiting to hear back from my doctor but now I am nervous this is going to be the same thing again. 

wilsonwayworld13

i know the feeling it sucks to be afraid of excitement and we should be able to enjoy the feeling

ladyofarlington

Thank you for creating this space. Hugs to all of you who have also experienced loss(es). 

knottieb2c4d91ae914b68f

I feel very similar. I had a miscarriage in July and now I’m 5 weeks. My TSH went up to 3.6. This is the 3rd time my medication has been doubled. My OB said she’s not surprised due to metabolism changes at this time. She reassured me that she’d check all my labs at my 8 week apt. I also had my hcg go from 6.8 (SUPER early) to 175 a few days after. Crossing my fingers it goes well this time. We got this!

knottie7d89b1cd78af8aec

I am currently 6w1d pregnant with my second baby! I had a miscarriage in 2014 due to a massive amount of stress and it took my ex and I 5 years to conceive my son. He is now 2 and is crazy crazy busy. I took progesterone with my son just for per caution, my doc didn’t think I needed it but to ease my mind he prescribed it to me and told me as soon as I find out I am pregnant take these and so I did until I was 12 weeks. Well fast forward a few years I am remarried and pregnant with my second baby. My first U/S isn’t until the 22 of this month and I am super calm and anxious at the same time. I’m trusting that my body knows what it is doing and we will have a baby come April! But how did you moms manage your anxiety and overcome the fear of the unknown?

stephbomh

I had a miscarriage in July and I’m about 4 weeks now (never had a period after the msc) and also having a hard time believing this one will turn out any different.  Trying to stay positive but also being realistic.  I have a new OB now who is testing my hcg levels weekly to help peace of mind which I am forever grateful for.   This thread is helping a lot to know other mamas are going through the same, lots of love being sent out to all of you.

etnyah

So glad you have an OB willing to do that for you! Hopefully it’ll all work out this time. I have a lot of friends who ended up with successful pregnancies directly following a loss (no cycle between), hopefully you’ll join that club too!

acleverusername

knottie530213113c10de89knottie7d89b1cd78af8aecknottieb2c4d91ae914b68f: Please update your usernames so we can tag you easier! Instructions on how to do that are pinned at the top of the main page for April 2023. 

wilsonwayworld13

I received a Blood test and everything is looking good my HCG have more than doubled. My first Ultrasound is on the 19 and i’m feeling positive! Thank you beautiful mamas so much for your encouraging words

acleverusername

knottie1b6a4f1a60462e2e YAY! That's great news, and the 19th is just around the corner!

rabbi07

Can I eat grapefruit while pregnant? I’m so confused about what is okay to have. Can I eat grapefruit?
https://www.gossipqueenfactory.com/pregnant-and-grapefruit/

nsk489

@rabbi07 this board is for those who are pregnant after experiencing a loss. Please review the board organization faqs/rules. This question is better suited for the July/Augusr question board.
However, to answer your question, grapefruit is perfectly safe to eat while pregnant 

acleverusername

rabbi07 said:

Can I eat grapefruit while pregnant? I’m so confused about what is okay to have. Can I eat grapefruit?
https://www.gossipqueenfactory.com/pregnant-and-grapefruit/

But also, this is a Pregnancy after Loss Safe space?! Why are you asking your question here? 

etnyah

My nausea was getting pretty bad (haven’t puked yet), but then yesterday and today it’s barely there. Constant nausea is no fun, but now my anxiety is through the roof. Rationally I know symptoms fluctuate, but I hate that I just can’t calm down about it. Ugh I just want to make it to my scan in a week and see that everything is okay. If it is.

acleverusername

@etnyah same for me! Yesterday I was eating salty grain free tortilla chips all day to try and survive. Today… nothing! Then again, I’m 1 say in taking B6 and also had acupuncture last night.

I hope your scan next week will be reassuring!

stephbomh

Thank you @etnyah I really needed to hear that!  Really hoping this is the one, next hcg check is Tuesday so fingers crossed!  (Also I changed my username but it’s not updating here 🤷‍♀️)

acleverusername

@ knottie530213113c10de89 it can take ~24 hrs for the username change to propagate. 

knottiea50effbde3a80cde

I go for my us on Friday when I will be seven weeks but I can’t shake the feeling that this one won’t be good either. I have no pregnancy symptoms - I had sore boobs, nausea, and such at first but it’s vanished. I haven’t gained even half a pound, my appetite is decreasing, all of my weird aches and pains I had pre pregnancy are returned. I have some pretty aggressive lower back pain and cramps that have literally sent me to the floor. The only thing I have that could be a slight pregnancy indicator is that I am burping a lot but that’s because of the nasty prenatal vitamin I am taking. After I lost my symptoms and found out my hcg wasn’t doubling (84.8% of what it should have been) I think I knew but I feel bad telling my husband. He knows I am concerned but not that I am pretty convinced it isn’t sticking. This is our last try and I have come to terms with it not working out. I wish I could go in now or even just get my hcg checked again because it’s so stressful not knowing. I am also on progesterone suppositories and I am pretty sure my body is just fully pushing those things out now and not really absorbing any of it.

knottiea50effbde3a80cde

Also I updated my username like two weeks ago but apparently it is just not sticking

acleverusername

@knottiea50effbde3a80cde I would recommend calling your OB and asking for new bloodwork ASAP stating you are extremely anxious and it's interfering with your day-to-day. Your OB's office should comply. Alternatively, you can get your own test on walkinlab.com. It's an out of pocket cost, but at least you'll know. 

Re: username, I recommend trying again and if it still doesn't work, I'd contact The Bump support. They're pretty good at getting back to you.

etnyah

First US tomorrow and my anxiety brain has decided this pregnancy isn’t viable, for no obvious reason. Maybe I’m just guarding myself in case it isn’t, I know I have the numbers on my side at 7 weeks, but still. Someone has to be on the other side of the odds too, why wouldn’t it be me again?

I just want to go to bed and wake up right before I have to go to the appointment, but I probably won’t be able to sleep. 

acleverusername

I look forward to waking up to your good news tomorrow @etnyah!!! I totally felt the same way on the day of our ultrasound yesterday. Just "at peace" feeling about upcoming negative news. 

etnyah

@acleverusername exactly! I’m “at peace” with it not being viable right now, obviously I’ll still cry if it isn’t. And also cry of relief if it is, ha. Every pregnancy is Schrodinger’s fetus until that initial US, as far as I’m concerned. 

MsBeachNJ

Hi all, just got my positive test this morning at 5 weeks, 6 days. I had been avoiding testing even close to 2 weeks late as I was anxious I'd get a positive and then have an early loss - my head plays a lot of tricks on me since having a first trimester loss in between my two beautiful girls. I called my OB and since I am AMA and have prior history of loss she is taking me early for my appointment, so first one is on 8/30, just 11 days to wait (her waitlist is otherwise really long). Will be praying that this babe, and all of yours, are here to stay! 

acleverusername

@MsBeachNJ welcome welcome! You're in good hands in this little corner of April 2023 BMB. We will hope right along with you that everything is going well! 

knottie5a76a44441cd04fb

I'm 6w today, after 2 miscarriages. One was exactly 2 years ago, and the second one was on April last year. We've been trying for al this time and had a negative result every month until 2 weeks ago. I'm so nervous, and trying not to get my hopes up too much. I know my husband is trying not to himself, given our history. My first appointment it's on Monday and I couldn't be more excited. Really hoping that we can hear a heartbeat ❤️. We haven't told our families yet, and we're thinking of waiting until a second appointment, just to make sure everything is ok. Very difficult for us to keep the news to ourselves 😬 I can't wait to tell my parents 🫶🏽

cmy089

Hi 👋🏼 I think it’s okay to open up to people about your new pregnancy.  Having that apprehension, I totally understand, but we need to try and weigh out the pros and cons of telling and not telling people.  I think telling outweighs not telling because it helps to have the support that comes with at least one or two of your closest friends or family members know you are expecting.  It’s good to have support with whatever may happen.  

My husband and I have had three pregnancies, no children…. Yet.  Our first miscarriage was in 2016 at 12 weeks and the second was just recently in April at 6 weeks.  We are currently pregnant at 5 weeks.  So far the levels seem good and first ultrasound will be early on the 30th this month.   Nervous but in a weird way, more at peace with this pregnancy than the last one in April.  I hope we all have healthy pregnancies and it helps to know we aren’t alone !  Xoxo to all these strong moms !

acleverusername

@cmy089 hoping for good news for you on the 30th. 

Honestly, this is such a personal choice (to tell vs. not to tell). A big positive that gets thrown around is "tell the people who know will support you if something happens." That's what I did my last pregnancy, which ended at 7w4d w/ an MMC. And sure, I had ppl supporting me, but their support AND the weight of their grief atop of yours was really hard for me to bear. Within minutes of updating my friends with news of our MMC, I had ppl calling me, wanting to come visit, etc. I just couldn't bear it. Afterwards, I had one friend tell me that she cried for an hour after I had told her. It was really a very strange thing. So, this time, the only ppl I've told are those within my infertility support groups (live and online) and a handful of live friends to whom I've said "I am PG but I don't want to talk about it, until I'm ready to talk about it."

So, while yes, it's nice to have support, too much support when you want time on your own / with your partner to process, can be a bad thing as well.