@kiki047 Oooooffff that situation sounds rough. I too think that body positivity can be quite toxic. There’s a podcast I’ve been loving called “maintenance phase” where they talk about diet culture, anti-fat bias and all the things that go with that. Part of the reason I love it so much is they make me laugh with my whole body every episode.
What they made me realize was how ingrained diet culture and diet restriction is, and how little we actually know about nutrition. I didn’t realize that I had bought in fully and completely to the notion that diet restriction in the name of weight loss is not only encouraged, but championed. Isn’t it interesting that you might feel less judged if you were doing this for weight loss and not for fertility?
It sounds like you have a solid connection to what is working for you, and I’m proud of you for turning down that cake and ice cream as many times as you have- that is not easy to do!
If you were my client I might ask you, would it be helpful to limit your exposure to your cousins wife for a little while? Is it a relief to decline some events that you know your cousins wife will be at every now and then? Maybe that is a good choice for your mental health for right now?
Things can and will change, but in my experience it’s important to honor and respect that what you need right now is equally as important as what social pressure dictates. I love working with people to help them figure out when saying no is really the best situation for everyone involved. It creates a harmony that just makes my heart happy to be witness to.
I also love helping people find the words to have conversations with loved ones about what is helpful support and what isn’t working. You might let your family know “hey here are things that are really helpful for me in terms of support” and also have a conversation that pity about diet (or whatever), while well-meaning actually makes things worse.
I find that people elicit incredible changes and results when they tell loved ones- here is exactly how you can support me in a way that feels good to me. What you are going through is no small matter, and it isn’t surprising that people around you might need a little education about what works best for you. I personally would rather educate my people and give them a chance to show up for me, rather then keep getting efforts that miss the mark. Of course that is not exactly the easiest thing to do, so take what you want from these sentiments and leave the rest.
You might find that this incredibly challenging thing you are going through can be an opportunity to create better more supportive relationships with the people you love. With education and communication you might be pleasantly surprised in the ways people show up for you. The ones who don’t might be the ones you decline invitations from for as long as you need to, to protect your mental health.
Your journey is remarkable. You are a formidable person for going to such lengths to have a thing that other women don’t even think about for one moment because they don’t have to. Your strength is truly inspiring and you deserve to be supported as the strong, incredible person you are!
Just here to chime in that Maintenance Phase is a great podcast as well @lickastick the Rachel Hollis deep dive and Angela Lansbury eps are faves of mine (I loathe everything about Rachel Hollis btw).
Re: IF Testing & Treatment w/o 6.6
It sounds like you have a solid connection to what is working for you, and I’m proud of you for turning down that cake and ice cream as many times as you have- that is not easy to do!
Your journey is remarkable. You are a formidable person for going to such lengths to have a thing that other women don’t even think about for one moment because they don’t have to. Your strength is truly inspiring and you deserve to be supported as the strong, incredible person you are!