@laj0217 That's a serious bummer. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to co-parent, let alone with someone who is so unwilling to compromise and work with you as a team.
What @jhysmath said about educating the husband in a neutral space is so true! I encouraged my husband to ask any and all questions so that he could be completely comfortable with the process. I had a very uncomplicated pregnancy and birth, but as @babywiik said, once active labor set in, I was only focused on getting the baby out and getting out of pain. My husband was able to take over for my thinking and knew my wishes. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything, even if I did feel silly during parts of the class. No amount of reading or YouTube videos would have prepared me for that moment, but I know that some women prefer that kind of convenience.
@melyrae our doulas offer a birth workshop. Its a bit pricier but they focus a lot on communication and bringing your love language and communication styles into the birthing experience. The way they have it laid out feels like it is as much for dad as it is for mom and helps him learn to pick up on my cues. I thought it would also be nice to work with our doula so we are on the same page with techniques and to practice as a team.
I have a breastfeeding/lactation workshop thing that came with the Spectra 2 bundle. I figure I should have it closer to birth - probably late August or so? Has anyone heard anything about it?
Annnnd okay, personal question I will also ask the OB, but that's not until Friday...
... should I be limiting my orgasms/intercourse? We are both exhausted and stretched thin, so end up tending to ourselves, and the thread about resting made me nervous. I usually go for 2-3 every couple days so I average 1/day. It keeps me a decent human being even when we don't have the energy to be intimate as a couple.
I figure it's one of those things "If your doctor doesn't tell you to do it, you're fine" but I never thought about it.
@pangolindrome unless you've been put on pelvic rest or are in the "shortening cervix" crowd, orgasms and intercourse are just fine.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@pangolindrome What @kboydbowman said is correct. Also, I got that class with my pump and plan to take it as a refresher, but I don't know anything about it. I would recommend about a month and a half before your due date, in case you have questions of your doctor or decide you need additional supplies or additional reading.
@trapperkeeper87 I just tried to schedule and it only showed me opportunities for this weekwhich feels very early. I appreciate the timing advice! I might see if I can time it out so my husband can attend with me.
As I'm going through the clothing that my sister gave to me, I'm noticing that many of the 3-6 month onesies are short sleeves (her son was born in March, so 3-6 months was summertime). Since 3-6 months will be wintertime for our September babes, is it worth keeping those, or should I just keep the long-sleeved ones? Trying to get a sense of whether having a mix of everything in each size range is beneficial, or if I should follow the seasons.
@pangolindrome Wow! Maybe they only show times for the current week? Hopefully that's the case.
@bigworldlittleg I would keep them. First of all, you don't know how big your baby will be. Secondly, if you're home, it's likely the temp in your house isn't the same as outside (i.e. warm inside, cold outside). You will also be able to layer your baby up with blankets, jackets, and bunting bags when outside, and sometimes you won't want a lot of warmth on their entire body because you may be going from one house to another or something similar. My daughter ran very hot as a baby and was born in October. We would bundle her while outside, but only in short sleeves, a jacket, and a blanket. Otherwise she would flush until we took some layers off.
@bigworldlittleg agreed with @trapperkeeper87!! Keep it and see how your baby is 😊 mine spent a lot of time in a diaper and onesie + fuzzy socks inside during in the dead of winter with -30C outside lol.
@bigworldlittleg you know new England in the fall... It will likely have hit days up until the end of October. My second was born big enough to need 6 month clothes by 2 months...my girls are born the same month (may) and I had to go out and buy summer clothes in larger sizes for my second because all I had was winter clothes in 3-6m and 6m because my first could wear 6m clothes until she was 9 months old.
I'd keep anything you like because you never know what size baby will be.
@lalarose22@trapperkeeper87 THEY ARRIVED AND THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THE TIPS! My legs and bump are in HEAVEN! And I have a pair of shorts and a black pair of leggings AND a pair of pajama pants AND A CUTE SHIRT!
Anyone else with Anthem BCBS insurance get offered participation in the Future Moms program? Not fully clear on what it entails and hoping one of y’all may have more info.
@laj0217 I did last time, but I completely forgot to sign up. I know there was some benefit to doing it (like a gift card or something?), but I never did. I think it is mostly phone calls to talk through things, but I really don't know. 🤷♀️
@trapperkeeper87 thanks! It does sound like calls, which are fine but I’m also trying to figure out what the benefit is. I already do the health coach calls, but those get me an extra $450 of FSA money the following year. I definitely want more benefit than just someone to ask questions of. I feel like I get a ton of support here and my OBGYN nurse is great about calling back within a couple of hours for any medical questions. Guess I may have to wait for them to call me back to see what’s up.
@laj0217 I started it with my first pregnancy. They sent me a book I never read, and then it went from 1 call every so often to they were going to call like twice as much because they considered high risk because of my weight and would basically just tell me everything that was terrible about being fat while pregnant and all the risk. It was not something I liked at all. If my medical team isn't worried about it, why would this random person in the phone decide to do this? I also hate talking on the phone.
@jhysmath ugh! How annoying! Yeah, I’m sure it has to do with education and minimizing their risk/expenses somehow. I guess it will just depend if the benefit to me is high enough. The $450 for coaching calls is totally worth it - I just tell them what they want to hear for 15 minutes every other month and then get checks reimbursing my copays the whole next year.
@jhysmath Yikes. I'm glad I didn't do it because I would have been shamed horribly. I gained 74 pounds and I tried so hard not to. Everything I did to not gain so much didn't help me (and all my tests were perfect). This time around I'm only up 17 so far and I don't even know what I'm doing differently. 🤷♀️ I'm sorry you had to deal with that. How horrible!
@laj0217 I think when I had it, the benefit was a book, and at the end it was supposed to be a $50 gift card to babies r us.... I didn't finish, and babies r us closed through out the country 2 months before my due date, so I'm not sure how that would have worked out lol
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@mk2022x in looking at getting a panel for my jackets I have already. My kids were born in May so I haven't had the opportunity to need a jacket like this. By the time I was wearing them outside and it was cold, I just put them in their snow suit. I feel with a tiny baby that won't be as easy. I'm hoping the zip up panel will be enough. I also am looking at hoodies.
@jhysmath I just saw this and it's pretty neat. I do already have a really nice winter coat I want to wear, so I might also go a similar route... but the kangaroo coat is dang cute. https://makemybellyfit.com/products/babycover-carrier-cover It is a bit on the pricey side for sure, but way cheaper than the coats, and you don't have to worry about zipper compatibility.
I feel like somewhere at some point someone talked about the Nosefrida and/or alternatives, but I can't find it. What's your favorite tool for clogged baby/toddler noses?
Looking for advice for telling my partners parents about our pregnancy
I am 7 weeks pregnant and we’re planning on telling both our families in the next couple of weeks. This is our first baby, and whilst we had planned to start trying in a couple of months, it happened a bit earlier than expected. So a surprise, but such a happy one! We are very close to my family, and they knew we were going to try soon, so they’ll be very excited! But my partners parents still treat him a bit like he’s 21 instead of 31, and because of that he doesn’t really share personal things with them much in general as he just ends up feeling patronised. So they aren’t aware at all that we’d planned on trying soon anyway. And so to them, it will be a shock. They are also a bit conservative so the fact we aren’t married yet will definitely cross their mind..
We have a good relationship with his parents, albeit they can be a bit overbearing… I know they’ll be supportive and beautiful grandparents throughout our child’s life, but because of the trickier relationship my partner has with them, I’m really nervous about actually telling them. I’m scared they’ll react in a way that makes us feel judged and dampens the celebration.
Sorry for the long story! And thank you in advance for any tips :)
@jenniferlaurenanastasia Hi. You'll probably want to head over to the Birth Month group that fits with when you are due. If you are 7 weeks pregnant, depending on your due date, you belong in either the December 2022 or January 2021 group.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@pangolindrome love the nose Frida. I'm going for the one that sucks on its own this time. I've only used the one you suck up like a straw, but that's a pain when you have a baby who doesn't want it being done.
@pangolindrome we used the nosefrida last time and it was perfect for us. I of course have since thrown away the old one but I’ll be getting it again this time around.
@pangolindrome We also like the NoseFrida. It does take some strong lungs or you'll get lightheaded, but maybe that's just me (I have well-controlled asthma)? It honestly works better than any other method, but we still reach for the bulb or the oogiebear more often these days, mostly for convenience. Oh, and Boogie Wipes are essential for runny noses in our house, to keep us from looking like Rudolph. I'll forever buy those - in addition to traditional tissues - for as long as they make them.
@trapperkeeper87 I get lightheaded too if it’s suuuuper stuffy. And I second the boogie wipes, they’re great to have on hand. I didn’t know about them right away but now anytime my toddler cries and even has one tear on his cheek he says “boogie wipe 😭” and that means he needs a Kleenex lol.
The nose Frida works good for runny snot but my child starts screaming like I'm harming her when she sees me get it out🙄 I tell her that it's my job to make sure she can breath and do it as fast as I can and only if it's getting really bad. The oogie bear works really good for boogers. They're too sticky so the nose Frida doesn't get them. She doesn't like her nose being picked either but since she discovered she can pick her nose on her own, she's been more willing to let me get boogers.
Re: The Great Big Queston Thread!
What @jhysmath said about educating the husband in a neutral space is so true! I encouraged my husband to ask any and all questions so that he could be completely comfortable with the process. I had a very uncomplicated pregnancy and birth, but as @babywiik said, once active labor set in, I was only focused on getting the baby out and getting out of pain. My husband was able to take over for my thinking and knew my wishes. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything, even if I did feel silly during parts of the class. No amount of reading or YouTube videos would have prepared me for that moment, but I know that some women prefer that kind of convenience.
Edit: It worked! Finally.
Annnnd okay, personal question I will also ask the OB, but that's not until Friday...
... should I be limiting my orgasms/intercourse? We are both exhausted and stretched thin, so end up tending to ourselves, and the thread about resting made me nervous. I usually go for 2-3 every couple days so I average 1/day. It keeps me a decent human being even when we don't have the energy to be intimate as a couple.
I figure it's one of those things "If your doctor doesn't tell you to do it, you're fine" but I never thought about it.
unless you've been put on pelvic rest or are in the "shortening cervix" crowd, orgasms and intercourse are just fine.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
@bigworldlittleg I would keep them. First of all, you don't know how big your baby will be. Secondly, if you're home, it's likely the temp in your house isn't the same as outside (i.e. warm inside, cold outside). You will also be able to layer your baby up with blankets, jackets, and bunting bags when outside, and sometimes you won't want a lot of warmth on their entire body because you may be going from one house to another or something similar. My daughter ran very hot as a baby and was born in October. We would bundle her while outside, but only in short sleeves, a jacket, and a blanket. Otherwise she would flush until we took some layers off.
I'd keep anything you like because you never know what size baby will be.
https://www.seraphine.com/en-us/khaki-3-in-1-winter-maternity-parka/
Cue ADHD obsession-session with kangaroo clothes.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
https://makemybellyfit.com/products/babycover-carrier-cover
It is a bit on the pricey side for sure, but way cheaper than the coats, and you don't have to worry about zipper compatibility.
I am 7 weeks pregnant and we’re planning on telling both our families in the next couple of weeks. This is our first baby, and whilst we had planned to start trying in a couple of months, it happened a bit earlier than expected. So a surprise, but such a happy one! We are very close to my family, and they knew we were going to try soon, so they’ll be very excited! But my partners parents still treat him a bit like he’s 21 instead of 31, and because of that he doesn’t really share personal things with them much in general as he just ends up feeling patronised. So they aren’t aware at all that we’d planned on trying soon anyway. And so to them, it will be a shock. They are also a bit conservative so the fact we aren’t married yet will definitely cross their mind..
We have a good relationship with his parents, albeit they can be a bit overbearing… I know they’ll be supportive and beautiful grandparents throughout our child’s life, but because of the trickier relationship my partner has with them, I’m really nervous about actually telling them. I’m scared they’ll react in a way that makes us feel judged and dampens the celebration.
Sorry for the long story! And thank you in advance for any tips :)
Hi. You'll probably want to head over to the Birth Month group that fits with when you are due. If you are 7 weeks pregnant, depending on your due date, you belong in either the December 2022 or January 2021 group.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
oogiebear:
https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07CZS94PY/
Boogie Wipes:
https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00G9NG14G/
We like this bulb because it's easy-ish to clean:
https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B007AHURTA/