The Great Big Question Thread

tuxielove93 · April 2022

@peppylilfoxy if it was climate controlled, Id definitely call the manufacturer. It’s possible that car seat is still good, but only the manufacturer would know.

sunshineandlemons · April 2022

Now that we are heading towards the end of our pregnancies and probably buying (or starting to buy) things, thoughts on a steals and deals thread? We can share there baby items that we bought for a great price or share a sale in case another mama is interested? If there’s interest, I’d be happy to get it started!

inthewoods23 · April 2022

@sunshineandlemons that sounds like a great idea!

runnergirl2018 · April 2022

@sunshineandlemons that's a great idea! especially with a lot of deals i know about coming up this month and mother's day deals next month for sure

sunshineandlemons · April 2022

Alright, I’m on it! 😊

oli9 · April 2022

@sunshineandlemons yes please! I’m a deal enthusiast! Lol.

zwink1 · April 2022

@sunshineandlemons I had actually thought about starting that way back in first tri and then realized I didn't want to be that crazy of a person, lol. I'm on board!

kd0811 · April 2022

Question for the ladies who already have kids - just found out my OB is gone the week before my due date. I’ve heard that delivery doctor can end up being someone else regardless/the doctor isn’t in the room all that much anyway.

question is would you switch doctors or not worry about it? Thx!

tuxielove93 · April 2022

@kd0811 I haven’t ever been at a practice where my actual doctor delivered. It’s always been a rotation. For what it’s worth, the doctor is not there very much during labor. The nurses are the ones who take care of you.

I’d be surprised if you found a doctor who was definitely going to be your delivery doctor. Every practice I’ve ever talked to they all switched out. Anywhere from 3-10 of them. Most of them ask you to meet everyone so you at least know the face that delivers.

oli9 · April 2022

@kd0811 during labor your doctor isn’t there for really any of it except the very end when you’re about to deliver the baby. You’ll mostly be dealing with a crew of nurses and even then they can rotate depending on the times and shifts and you may have to deal with and quickly get familiar with two different sets of nurses. Once the baby is crowing the nurses page/call the doctor to notify them and they show up for that part and the after delivery, but even then, I’ve had nurses almost have to deliver a baby because my doctor was tied up.

runnergirl2018 · April 2022

@kd0811 it's pretty standard for OBs to be ina group practice and any OB can be the one on call during delivery. they don't usually even come in until it's time to push. I was induced with my first so i saw one of the group OBs here and there to add in different interventions over time. I would ask what their process is - in my last group i was required to see all 5 OBs during my pregnancy so i could meet everyone. my current group is just 2 OBs so i see them both interchangably, even though i have my favorite

LJMoon6 · April 2022

I was in labor for so long that I actually went through 3 different doctor's shifts lol. I saw the first one when we first got checked in. Never saw the second one. And then the third one was there for the delivery. So I would probably just stick with the same doctor. Besides, who knows when you'll actually go into labor. Maybe you'll be a few weeks early and your original OB will be there for delivery.

tuxielove93 · April 2022

Like LJ mentioned too, due dates are big fat estimates. Anytime time between 37 and 42 weeks is a possible delivery day.

I didn’t even see the doctor who delivered my second kid. Only found out she was blonde when I happened to see her at a follow up appointment 🤣

and like oli both doctors nearly missed my delivery because when my babies are ready we’re going. The nurses wanted me to wait to push. Like uh no. Not an option. My body is pushing whether I like it or not 🤣🤣

blf2072 · April 2022

Has anyone has an amniotic fluid test? I had one today and it was negative, Thank God!! But now having slight spotting and some Mild cramping afterwards. Of course doc didn’t warn me of cramping or spotting after SNF said everything looked perfect with the baby and send me home. Now I’m panicking bc I had some spotting post procedure ( which was uncomfortable so i imagine that’s what I’m feeling now) but wondering g if anyone else had one and had similar experiences with one ?

Thanks in advance !!

kd0811 · April 2022

@tuxielove93 @oli9 @runnergirl2018 @LJMoon6 thank you!! All helpful and consensus seems like there’s a very good chance she won’t be the delivering doctor anyway..I’ll ask more about the group!

knottie_name · April 2022

Hi all, hope everyone is doing ok! I'm based in NYC and recently discovered that the hospital my OB delivers in is waaaay uptown, meaning not only would I have to deal with the tunnel traffic but also Manhattan traffic... I don't know, I'm getting a bit nervous. It's a big city hospital too so they discharge you after 24 hours.

Alternatively, there is a hospital walking distance from my house, & apparently they let you stay 48 hours there. But that would meaning changing my OB 26 weeks+, and I do really like my OB. But then a few of you mentioned they might not even be at the birth anyway!

It's my first so I'm wondering if anyone can share whether they think the hospital location and being able to stay longer is more/less important than sticking with a good OB?

bumblebee0210 · April 2022

@knottie_name It really depends on your priorities, but for me the most important thing is to be in a hospital with a good NICU. 99% of the time (or maybe more like 95) you won't need it, and you will say "oh what a hassle it was to get uptown in labor would not want to do that again", but if your birth does not go smoothly, or your baby comes early or is in distress, I always feel better knowing that the best possible care for me and baby is right there. Obviously if you have known risk factors like GD or pre-e risk factors, AMA, multiples, this is more important. If it's your fifth baby and the previous four had easy vaginal term births and were healthy afterward, maybe less so. But personally I will not deliver in a place without a NICU (and good surgeons, but the two usually go together). Staying in the hospital was not super important to me (given an uncomplicated birth and healthy baby).

Given that it's NYC-- are there other options besides just way uptown? It's a pretty densely populated area with lots of med schools, etc.

oli9 · April 2022

@knottie_name I have to agree that the actual hospital and the staff at the hospital, NICU, surgeons, emergency support etc is much more important to me than my OB. Your OB sees you through your pregnancy and delivery however after delivery they can’t help much with what could go wrong. This is my seventh baby, but a good NICU is so important to me that I travel 35+ miles to go to an OB that delivers at the highest level NICU hospital in Florida. I could very well see an OB closer to me and deliver at a hospital 5 minutes away, but should something go wrong during or after delivery, they’d have to airlift the baby to the hospital of my choice anyway so why not already be there if I have the luxury and choice to do so.

flikyerbik · April 2022

Personally, I chose to stick with the closer one even though the other one is a full hospital, while mine is just a clinic. Neither one has a NICU, though, so it's a different situation. The only one I can deliver at with a NICU doesn't do epidurals and wouldn't let me have my husband or a support person in the room. They do let you stay for a full 5-7 days there, but you also have to request to be in your own room or else you have to share with three other people. So I am sticking with my little clinic that keeps you 1-3 days and has to ambulance NICU babies to that other hospital. (They won't even let you give birth at my clinic unless you are low risk.) It makes me a little nervous, but nowhere near as nervous as the idea of giving birth with no one to support me. Also, the hospital that has a NICU is only about 15 minutes away by car and probably 5-7 by ambulance. All this to say, I think it's up to you to decide which things are most important to you. Having to deal with Manhattan traffic would make me nervous, but so would the thought of an ambulance trying to fight traffic. I would weigh pros and cons for the two if I were you

bumblebee0210 · April 2022

@flikyerbik. Are you in the US? I have never heard of a hospital with a NICU (not a birthing center) not doing epidurals. Do they do emergency C-sections? Where would you get transferred if there was a significant complication for you (rather than baby)? Sorry-- you don't have to answer all of this, you have just totally piqued my curiosity about what this hospital set up could be.

flikyerbik · April 2022

I live overseas, and the culture is very different outside of our military base. Our choices are on base (little clinic/birthing center,) off base (big hospital,) or transfer to a base in a bigger city (hospital with epidurals but apparently no NICU.) They give you paperwork after your first appointment giving you your options so you can decide early. It says neither base has a NICU, but both have nearby hospitals. I've never been to the bigger base (11 hours away by car, 4-7 by train) but I am guessing the NICU is closer because they send higher risk patients there. (Higher risk like PCOS or GD.) Anyone who wants to give birth up there has to go at 36 weeks and then just wait. You have to take a train with a newborn, though. The very high risk patients, like those having multiples or if something is likely to be wrong, they send back to the states to give birth.

knottie_name · April 2022

@bumblebee0210 @oli9 @flikyerbik thank you so much for sharing! That's given me a lot of other factors to consider beyond the OB which I really appreciate. Thanks so much.

Someone asked about other hospitals in Manhattan, there are loads but only one that my OB is linked with I guess. It's strange because it's not close to her clinic which I chose for convenience 🤦‍♀️ So any other hospital would be the same situation eg not having the OB there. She also said something like "this is the hospital where I have advantages" or something but I didn't understand it. I'm from the UK originally so a lot of things about private healthcare confuse me tbh, that's probably just a me thing!

Thanks so much for the insights. The hospital she's associated with is a big teaching hospital so I'd assume it has a NICU, but I will check that 👌

jessie_95 · April 2022

@knottie_name - im from New York and as soon as I saw your post about the tunnel and traffic, my heart stopped a bit thinking about trying to go through contractions while in evening traffic.

I’m in Los Angeles now and have been for a few years, but still overthinking different routes and such to the hospital because the freeways and side streets here can get absolutely insane.

Agreed with everyone as far as choosing the hospital (if you’re able to) that had top notch NICU/Surgery/etc. That’s what I really considered when choosing which OB and hospitals etc etc

Don’t worry, I’m FROM the US and I’m confused about all the healthcare stuff and things.

jessie_95 · April 2022

Hopefully this is okay to ask here, I searched the boards for a similar thread and found one from a year or two ago but, just … hoping for some help.

(This is so embarrassing 😳)

can we talk about s-e-x? I wasn’t super interested in any of it for a month or two when my nausea and everything were flaring really badly plus, insane work schedules.

But, this past week, I very much am into it, fiancé is as well but the minute we move to the next level after a good smooch session it’s like I get cold feet and lose the urge.

Is this normal? Am I psyching myself out? I feel terrible because I’m essentially blue balling my fiancé. I’m not sure the man can handle another night of that.

Thank you.

stardustskies · April 2022

@jessie_95 Try letting him go down on your instead of going right into intercourse and hopefully that gets you going

oli9 · April 2022

@jessie_95 I’m not into it AT ALL with this pregnancy, so not into it that I feel so bad as a wife! I basically try and just psych myself up for once or twice a week to make sure my hubs is taken care of but yeah like @stardustskies said, foreplay can help you get more in the mood and stay in the mood longer. I’ve realized that if he goes straight to the foreplay then I’m game for at least 20 minutes 😂 Poor guy and definitely hard to admit and talk about

jessie_95 · April 2022

@stardustskies - thank you! Maybe we aren’t spending long enough in the foreplay realm, so I’ll keep that in mind! Was never one to enjoy a man being “down there” with his mouth soooo … guess it’s time to be creative? I owe him that surprise at least after blue balling him this many times.

@oli9 - yeah the first 20+ weeks I’d hold him over with a few **cough**BJ’s**cough* but with the nausea that one was always a game of Russian roulette. But thank you for the second vote for more foreplay. Poor poor guy, yeah I wrote/erased/rewrote my post ten times out of fear of asking about this (Also for the record, you’re NOT a bad wife. Not at all!).

update: attempted some sexy time again when he got home from work at 4am, thought we’d get through it and, not only did I lose my groove as I have been, but then had a full on mental breakdown about how in said position we were in (I was sitting on top of him) I must have been so “disgusting to look at”. FULL ON EMOTIONAL TRAIN WRECK.

This poor guy. It’s not funny because I just want some good sexy time but … I can’t stop laughing now.

inthewoods23 · April 2022

@jessie_95 oh no! I worry that's how DH feels about me right now. I think we've gone 2 months without sex at this point. Maybe 3?? DH's never had much of a sex drive. I basically had to tell him when we needed to have sex to hit the FW. My sex drive really only ramps up during that FW so obviously being pregnant now that window never happens. I think about it though and would like to do it. However I don't want to hear all the time about how he's worried he's hurting the baby *eye roll*.

Don't feel like you're obligated to continue if end up not feeling up for it. Like others have said, if I'm just not really feeling it or I'm really dry and it's getting uncomfortable I'd likely just finish DH off with a BJ and call it a night.

oli9 · April 2022

@inthewoods23 dang I wish my husband didn’t have much of a sex drive! Lol. Dream life. Haha.

oli9 · April 2022

@jessie_95 also if it makes you feel any better, I was a bartender in adult nightclubs for 20 years and I BARTENDED PREGNANT multiple times all the way up until 2017 and a majority of the men LOVE a pregnant woman’s body. There’s a pregnant fetish (TMI i know) and guys definitely tipped me more money the further along I was. The things they’d say to me is disturbing BUT if it matters any, I’m sure your man loves your pregnant body and is attracted to you. My husband can’t get enough of mine. I wish he would leave me TF alone already actually 😂 but he’s obsessed with my pregnant figure. 🤷🏻‍♀️

jessie_95 · April 2022

@inthewoods23 - we went close to three months with no sex, and if he caught me on a good day he’d get a bj because that’s just all I could manage. My sex drive pre pregnancy was kinda in the middle, fiancés was always a bit higher. Now that I WANT it, it’s like a sick joke my brain keeps playing. Oh, OH THAT convo. Oh that happened to us this morning which sort of funneled into my breakdown. We were going along just fine, both into it, baby kicks which obviously he felt as my stomach was pressed against him and he goes “crap I can’t what if she like … what he sees it?” and then cue mental breakdown.

Maybe surprise your DH? I know you said you’re not super into it but want to stick your toes in the water, maybe see what happens?

@oli9 - haha I’ve heard of the pregnant fetish, which just blows my mind but hey, whatever floats your boat I guess. My man has been a saint, he’s put up with the crazy I serve him daily for 25 weeks, even stood outside the bathroom door while I was a crying mess blabbering about what I see in the mirror. I have no doubt he’s enjoying my body, it’s extremely obvious every night and morning (TMI but you get it and bless his heart, he tried to make moves for sex every time only to get shot down 🤣), he’s also always touching, holding, rubbing etc my belly/back/arms not sure if it’s a body love thing or protection thing but it’s sweet.

inthewoods23 · April 2022

@jessie_95 my birthday is coming up soo.... 😉😉

jessie_95 · April 2022

@inthewoods23 oooo girl, you go with your birthday self! Get some lovin!

kd0811 · April 2022

knottie_name · April 2022

Anyone feel like they're still needing to pee crazy often? I've been awake since 6.30, it's about 12 now, and I just went to the bathroom for the 6th time today... And this is what it's like every day .... That's a lot, right?
I do get thirsty a lot too so there's a bit of a cycle going on here, I think!

practicallypierson · April 2022

I've definitely noticed an increase in bathroom trips the last week or so. I'm not having to go as frequently as it sounds like you are, but the weight of the baby seems to have crossed the threshold of "definitely putting pressure on my bladder now."

Going more than once an hour, I would be checking for a UTI, but I'm also particularly susceptible to them, so I always try to rule that out before anything else.

jessie_95 · April 2022

@knottie_name - YEP! I drink so so much water throughout the day too that it probably makes it worse but yes, definitely becoming such a frequent flyer to the bathroom that I’ve started doing a whole bathroom remodel in my head whenever I’m in there. 🤣

flikyerbik · April 2022

I go to the bathroom like that. I went to the bathroom a lot before pregnancy, and pregnancy made it even worse 🤣 I sometimes have to go practically twice in a row! I've been checked twice for UTI because of how often I get the urge to pee - once before pregnancy and once in early pregnancy. I think I just have a small bladder 🤷‍♀️

oli9 · April 2022

I use the bathroom about 12 times per night. My husband can’t believe that right after I pee, I have to pee again immediately. I had to do research on it because it bothers me so much! I pee, lay down, turn over and I have the urge to go again. I will pee back to back about 6 or 7 times before falling asleep and then waking up an hour or two later with the urge to go again. Exhausting

knottie_name · April 2022

@practicallypiersonineveryway @oli9
@jessie_95 @flikyerbik ha ok good to know I'm in good company! That sounds just like me. Some times of day it's worse than others, for me it's especially the first few hours after waking up. But I also had to go fairly regularly before pregnancy so I think I'm in the small bladder camp too!

The bathroom remodel really made me laugh, I actually bought something to clean the tiles better having spent so much time looking at them 😂

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