The Great Big Question Thread

zwink1

@inthewoods23 lol I never reeeaallyy know what to do with this situation when it's just S and I somewhere, but I always take him into the women's room.  If H is along, they go together to avoid the question entirely.  Jury is still out on what age I'll let him go to the bathroom by himself.  

tuxielove93

My almost 5 year old still comes with me into the womens. Idk when I’ll feel
comfortable letting him go into the mens alone, but it isn’t now 

inthewoods23

@zwink1 yeah that'll probably be me too. If DH is with me he's taking our son into the bathroom.

@tuxielove93 when I think about it, I'm not even sure what age I was when my mom stopped going into the stall with me. Maybe she never did??? I don't recall at all a time when she was in a stall with me.

runnergirl2018

@inthewoods23 we just take into whatever bathroom the parent would go into.  but more immediately with a baby - for all the FTM, know that mens restrooms rarely have baby changing stations in them (we even had this happen in a medical building where we were for a pediatric orthopedist) and even some smaller businesses don't have them at all.  i've also experienced some that were obviously used by large children or were just poorly built that were really wobbly or leaning so just be prepared for all the weird things with bathroom changing stations or lack thereof!

LJMoon6

@inthewoods23 DS comes into the girls bathroom with me. I don’t even want him going into the men’s with MH most of the time. They tend to be super dirty. I’ll probably keep bringing him in with me until I start to get weird looks lol. I also wont be sending him by himself for a very long time. I’ve heard some horror stories about predators in the men’s room.

tuxielove93

@runnergirl2018 I pretty much exclusively change in the car because it's such a weird gross gamble with public bathrooms and changing areas. 

@inthewoods23 I do let my kid go into the stall himself. That's very new. Basically, it's because I'm pregnant and waiting for him to finish first isn't always ideal. 

inthewoods23

@LJMoon6 funny thing is, lots of guys say the girls bathrooms are disgusting

lilirunning34

@inthewoods23 it depends on where we are, but most the time I still bring my 7 year old into the women’s bathroom with me especially if I have to go anyways. He goes by himself at some restaurants and such, but it really depends on where we are. I assume in the next year or two he’ll probably go by himself and 100%. 

sunshineandlemons

@inthewoods23 if we are together, then I’ll take my daughter to the women’s room, but if she’s with my husband, he takes her into the mens room. Now, at almost 5.5 yo, she sometimes goes on her own, but before someone would need to cover the automatic flusher with TP so it wouldn’t go off while she was going(she was scared of it) and to help her reach the sink, if needed.

For my youngest, like @tuxielove93 said, I change her in the car. I’m not sure how often bathroom changing tables actually get cleaned so I avoid when I can. 

lilirunning34

@sunshineandlemons my 4 year old daughter is terrified of the automatic flushers. We always have to cover them for her. I’m hoping she eventually grows out of it. I think I remember my son being the same. I think they flushed on her once when she wasn’t done when she was like 2-3 and now there’s no going back. 

runnergirl2018

Does anyone have recommendations for a short sleeved nightgown that is nursing friendly and has pockets? I'd love to get a couple for the post-partum (or even hospital) days, especially since it's still undecided if i'll need a repeat c-section and pants are just too annoying and uncomfortable. so far i only find spaghetti strap ones or long sleeved ones or ones without pockets 

stardustskies

@runnergirl2008 I got this robe to labor in with my last pregnancy and it was perfect. Bluetime Women Robe Soft Kimono Robes Bathrobe Sleepwear Loungewear Short https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0757H8B2N/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_JWVX37QE0YHX11KKBS7F?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

feather_heather

@runnergirl2018 - I have these two. I don't think the first one has pockets though. But DD was born in December, so I always had a robe on too. 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q4W9RDZ/ref=sspa_dk_detail_0?psc=1&pd_rd_i=B07Q4W9RDZ&pd_rd_w=n9tIR&pf_rd_p=0c758152-61cd-452f-97a6-17f070f654b8&pd_rd_wg=AM1pw&pf_rd_r=FKKRQ4YYJCR3G98SD2E4&pd_rd_r=7968aa66-502b-4717-a3cb-170e41bf6361&s=apparel&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzTlc1MjVXV0NXWVA2JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwODUyNTgwMUc4RlhWTEgwSllBWiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMzc0NjM4MzEzNTIyVUs4OENKSSZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2RldGFpbCZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07C7WRDHT/ref=sspa_dk_detail_6?psc=1&pd_rd_i=B07C7WRDHT&pd_rd_w=n9tIR&pf_rd_p=0c758152-61cd-452f-97a6-17f070f654b8&pd_rd_wg=AM1pw&pf_rd_r=FKKRQ4YYJCR3G98SD2E4&pd_rd_r=7968aa66-502b-4717-a3cb-170e41bf6361&s=apparel&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzTlc1MjVXV0NXWVA2JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwODUyNTgwMUc4RlhWTEgwSllBWiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwOTQ1MzkzMjNDOTY1UUlHR0w1SSZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2RldGFpbCZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

blf2072

Does anyone have or had diastasis recti in pregnancy? I think I might have it. Please share your experience if you it effected your birth at all, were you able to get back to normal, did you stomach ever go back to “normal” exercises that were helpful etc! Thanks ladies 💗

molina11

Has anyone had sever tailbone pain? I’m a day shy of 26 weeks and having excruciating tailbone pain. 

sunshineandlemons

@molina11 I get that off and on. It’s so uncomfortable.

tuxielove93

@blf2072 I do. I’ve had it since I was pregnant with my first. I’ve opted not to fix it until I was done with babies since it would probably just keep happening over and over again. 

I haven’t noticed any major issues with my pregnancies. I don’t wear a support band and have had two unmedicated uncomplicated vaginal births. I can’t sit up properly and I have to be careful carrying things because my abs are compromised (while pregnant.) it’s not a noticeable thing post pregnancy. There are lots of great exercises and therapies to fix it after birth and I’m looking forward to doing that this time since this is our last. 

blf2072

@molina11 that sounds like sciatic pain. I get it too from time to time… I think if you scroll up you’ll find some others talking about it. I think some stretching may help, and I think some girls have mentioned other ways to help!  Hope you feel better !!

runnergirl2018

@blf2072 i did not with my first but i recently found Get Mom Strong on IG and highly recommend checking her and her program out

@molina11 it's like sciatica - there are stretches you can do to help and i highly recommend chiropractic care 

inthewoods23

Diastasis recti is really only something you can see/diagnose post-birth right?

I've read up on it a little bit. I know one of the symptoms a coning look to the stomach which I seem to get when doing some kind of extension that includes a bit of a back bend. I wasn't sure if that was an indicator or if that's pretty normal based on where the uterus is and where my own stomach fat sits.

@blf2072 I can't remember the specifics, but I think there are certain exercises you can do now that will help strengthen the transverse abdominal muscles to prevent or help repair diastasis recti. You should be able to find some good stuff with a simple google search.

tuxielove93

@inthewoods23 You can see it while you are pregnant, it just isn't recommended because the more you mess with it the worse it gets. If you lean back, the middle of your stomach with bulge up more than the rest of it. 

jellie603

RE: diastasis recti - I've done research on it this time around because I'm guaranteed to have issues with twins. You can definitely check/tell if you have it while pregnant but like @tuxielove93 said, not much can be done until PP. I checked the other day and to do so I laid on the bed and then did like a half-crunch. I could see that there was coning right in the middle of my stomach. You can actually put your fingers in there to measure the separation. I'm about 3 fingers but not very deep. An acquaintance had twins at 37 weeks and she said she was 4 fingers and like an inch deep maybe? She had a couple years of pelvic floor PT and, while not completely closed, she is considered healed. 

There are a good handful of simple exercises we can do while pregnant to help prevent DS along with basic deep core breathing!

inthewoods23

@tuxielove93 good to know that's pretty normal.

@jellie603 I get the coning when I lay down flat but either I can't tell or just can't feel any separation when I attempt to check. Damn belly fat lol. It's finger widths horizontally not vertically right?

jellie603

@inthewoods23 yeah I kind of have to jam my fingers in there a couple of times to find where the separation actually is haha. It like V's out starting at the bottom of your chest (or close) and opens the closer to your belly button. Maybe you don't have any!! I didn't with my first (singleton). Yep, the fingers is width. Well it is both at the same time but I don't know how far down it is supposed to go/how much like a knuckle deep is haha. So I just measure width. 

tuxielove93

@inthewoods23 it freaks me out to much to measure mine so I never have lol. 

tuxielove93

Anyone know if Target is doing the car seat trade in again?? It seems like they do it in April but I haven’t seen it advertised yet. 

My oldest moved to a booster and I’d love to donate his car seat and get a new one for the new baby (since his is expired, grr) 

courtneyqdk

For diastasis recti, I was recommended these exercises postpartum after having my son, and they really helped!

https://youtu.be/R0UCBzZB0Xc

Definitely do not do them until *after* having the baby - and I would wait until your 6 week appt to make sure you are cleared for physical activity, but these videos are very clear and easy to follow. The best advice I have is walking should be the majority of your exercise postpartum as you gradually begin to get your strength and fitness levels back. Trying to rush anything is always a bad idea! (I was a certified fitness instructor in my 20s and completed a course specifically for post-natal fitness) Slow and steady with your recovery and return to exercise is definitely wise!

inthewoods23

@courtneyqdk is it true that we really shouldn't work our ab muscles much now while pregnant? I've heard that can make diastasis recti worse in the end.

sunshineandlemons

@tuxielove93 it’s coming up later this month! 

https://corporate.target.com/sustainability-esg/environment/waste-and-circular-economy/car-seat-trade-in?clkid=&lnm=81938&afid=&ref=tgt_adv_xasd0002

runnergirl2018

@tuxielove93 I think it starts April 18 - there are dates on the Target website if you search  

runnergirl2018

@inthewoods23 you can work core while pregnant! do you have IG? follow Get Mom Strong - she has lots of free info posted there, she also has a program you can do that is paid that is awesome, but i followed her for a long time before signing up for it and i love her stuff and her personality

sjb2215

@inthewoods23 it's still ok to do low level core exercises, but making sure that your deep abdominal muscles and pelvic floor are engaged. I recommend following expecting and empowered on Instagram! They have a ton on social but you can also purchase prenatal and postnatal workout guides (and they are WI mamas, one has an exercise sports science background and the other is a women's health PT)

runnergirl2018

@inthewoods23 @sjb2215 i don't know as much about their program but i love following expected and empowered too! great info

peppylilfoxy

Ugh, I just moved our car seat and stroller from our storage space at my husband's office. I looked and noticed it technically expires June 20 but it is technically brand new since we have literally NEVER used it because our son died in birth and then had trouble conceiving and maintaining pregnancies up to now... Think the hospital will let us get away with it? 

courtneyqdk

@peppylilfoxy that stinks! No one in the hospital checked my car seat that closely, but I do believe it is illegal to use if you were ever pulled over - and insurance problems can arise if you were ever in an accident while using that seat. I think you are Canada right? I know in the states Target has trade in events for car seats but I am not sure what our options are here. I bought mine a few years ago during a great sale, so if you know which one you want might be worth waiting a few weeks and waiting for the right deal to come up? If you live close to a border I suppose you could make it to target but keep in mind some seats in the USA are not approved for Canada and vice versa so you would have to do your research carefully before purchasing. 

tuxielove93

@peppylilfoxy has the car seat been exposed to heat? That’s the biggest thing that makes them expire. 

Kind of like a plastic chair sitting outside for years…. The car seat plastic becomes brittle over time and won’t react the same way to a crash that it should. 

If it was climate controlled storage it should be ok, but if it wasn’t, I’d replace it. I wasnt thrilled with having to replace ours either, but we live in a very hot climate, and that car seat just sits and bakes in the car alllllllll day every day. 

My preferred car seat is under $200. They don’t have to be crazy expensive 

blf2072

Thanks everyone!! I’m seeing my doctor Monday for my 28 week so I’ll also ask him. I’m happy baby is doing well, so I don’t want to sound vein lol but I would like to do all i can to take care of myself too! 😊 love the support here 💗

inthewoods23

@peppylilfoxy would it be worth it to contact the manufacturer and/or the store you purchased the car seat from and explain the situation? Maybe they will let you exchange it for a new one. Given that it's essentially new but never used.

feather_heather

@peppylilfoxy I second @inthewoods23 suggestion! I'd reach out the company and explain the situation. At the very least they may give you a great discount! I would be too nervous to use an expired car seat. The stroller should be fine though! 

peppylilfoxy

Yeah, it was in a climate controlled storage space the entire time and @courtneyqdk I am in Canada. Not near the border though. @inthewoods23 that's a good idea about contacting the manufacturer