@katek819 I’m the same way! I had a girl’s name that I loved, but finding a boy’s name is just… hard. I know one way or the other we won’t be leaving the hospital with an unnamed baby, but right now the whole concept of names is just too much for this brain to handle.
@bridgiebee82 yea all the same first initial for the first name was never really my style. I have a friend who does it but she chose W and has some really cute unique names (Wesley, Winifred, and Wilbur). Not sure why they chose W though...not like she or her husband have W names. I always wonder what makes people choose one specific letter.
Honestly, I'm ALWAYS curious why people choose the names they choose. I want to ask but it feels rude to say "why'd you choose that?" but I'm genuinely fascinated by people's name picking processes.
@bridgiebee82@starkette as somebody who has the same initials as DD I can weigh in on it. I never initially wanted us to have the same initials. Originally her last name was going to start with an A, I was going to give her her bio dad’s last name but things changed last min and it didn’t happen. My thought was I would give her my middle name since she would have his last name. As for her first name, I went through all the names and after being vetoed on several names the final two happened to start with the same letter as my first name. Once she came and the decision was made to give her my last name too I loved the idea of us sharing the same middle name and the same initials.
With this baby I thought about keeping the “tradition” but fell in love with names that don’t meet the criteria. Also I’m glad I have the new perspective about school stuff so now I most definitely won’t.
FWIW me, my mom and dad all have the same first and last initial. My brother is odd man out so that may be why I was partial to it
@starkette I didn’t want to do anything fancy or hard to spell/pronounce. My maiden name was a random French name that NO one could pronounce and I hated going through life with that before getting married. Literally one person ever pronounced it correctly growing up.
With our first we never agreed on anything. I heard “Sawyer” from One Tree Hill (forever love). I know it’s a name that goes for both genders so I’m surprised I picked it, but we love it.
DD2 we again couldn’t agree on anything. I was scrolling a page looking at crib sheets. One was named “Piper.” Sounded interesting and the only thing we half agreed on. We didn’t mean to do a “thing” so both our kids have the “er” at the end of their names.
Like I said before, if this baby is a girl, we’re doomed.
@starkette I always wonder that too. I'm obsessed with names, if there is a person, baby or hell even a pet in a movie or tv show I need to know their names. I always figure when the character name in a show is really odd, that there is someone they are being named after.
@dimeadozen Same with a girl name. We can't really agree on one, so we think we're holding off on name discussions until we find out the sex!
We have a boy name we're 99% sure it is going to be. Both my husband and I's names start with a B, and so would baby boy - which I'm not thrilled about because I don't love any B girl names, but I think I'm okay with breaking the "tradition". I'm with @bridgiebee82 on same initials being annoying in the educational world, just because they often look alike I always end up calling them the wrong name. We do have one girls name that started with a B that is okay, but it's one syllable and I don't know if I love that. SO, waiting until we know the sex is our next step to see if we even need to have the girl name discussion. But I second BabyName, the tinder app for baby names, it's fun to see all the examples and even more fun when you get a "match".
@wigglyicecream families look so different these days, I think if that’s what works for you, then so be it! I have a friend and they decided their first child would have the husband’s last name and their second child would have the wife’s last name. I thought it was interesting that they would choose to give their kids different last names, but it works for them so more power to them. If you have a girl and she gets married someday and wants to hyphenate her last name with her husband’s then would she have name-name-name?
@wigglyicecream I understand the reasoning behind hyphenating last names, but as a elementary teacher, it's a big pain. Kids are listed alphabetically usually by last name and then sometimes the hyphenated last name is left out, which defeats the purpose of hyphenating. For kindergarten, I'm mostly teaching kids how to write their names (yes, kids come in not even being able to recognize their name...crazy I know) and I'm still working with a girl to write Elizabeth (her first name) without a visual reminder. And then on top of that her last name is 10 letters long and we haven't even touched that... usually, hyphenated names get very frustrating for the student. At least in my experience.
@twizzleraddict1@brittanynmorris thank you for the perspectives. The name is question would be baby boy’s last name. i have a DD from a previous relationship and for reasons I don’t want to explain she has my name. I told SO if baby was a girl she would have mine, if it was a boy he could have his. As luck would have it, baby is a boy.
My issue is I don’t want the family to lack cohesion, and I won’t let DD feel left out ( for when we get married, if she doesn’t want her name to change mine won’t either)
Honestly the pressure to change names period makes me want to rebel against it.
@wigglyicecream I think your reasoning makes sense and I love how you don't want DD to feel left out. I completely get your thought process here. Obviously, do what is best for you and your family and everyone else can keep their opinions to themselves (even us teachers!). Is it possible that your last name could be their middle name? Or vice versa with your partner's last name? I know some names that can work really well with, but others can be strange!
@brittanynmorris I’ve thought about that too. Luckily July is still a while away so I have time. I never way for a hyphenated last name as a personal opinion
@wigglyicecream I think a hyphenated last name is a great compromise for partners/spouses. It's becoming much more common and accepted. Sorry teachers, you're just gonna have to figure it out. Because there are many different ways to make a family and they are all beautiful and valid. I love how much you care for your DD and want her to feel included. That's a hard choice and hyphenated names allow everyone to be included.
@starkette I agree--each family is unique and hyphenated names are a great compromise for people. It's not so much me, but sometimes the kids don't even know what name to put down. I just tell them, your last name is your whole last name. Hyphen and all.
@wigglyicecream I know two families who actually created their own last name and everyone took that. Way more admin work to change everyone’s name for sure but it was pretty cool! One was a blend of the two names, it actually sounded really good together, and another the dad had a hyphenated name already so he dropped one of those and they picked the other part of his name that they both liked.
@wigglyicecream I have a hyphenated last name (and have my whole life) and I don’t love it but it’s not that big of a deal. In less professional/formal settings I usually just give one of my last names to keep it simple. I do sometimes get credit card offers to each of my individual last names which is pretty annoying.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@wigglyicecream I don't have a hyphenated last name but two last names (I am from Peru, where you get your dad's last name + your mom's last name). My baby will have a hyphenated last name so that he can have dad's and mom's. It's a deeply personal belief/preference. I would love my kid to carry both legacies; for both parents and their families to be represented as part of his identity. I, personally, always use my 2 last names because I am so proud and love carrying that connection with the two amazing humans that raised me and my siblings.
I have heard and read the reasons as to why people think hyphenated last names are "difficult", but in reality I don't feel they are. The learning portion: between my 2 last names there are 13 letters. I learned them like all the others kids in my country and like many more around the world. Kids will learn. Government/insurance/other IDs: my gov. IDs have my two last names and I have never had any issues. Same with Insurance IDs. In the event that any type of ID for other things has it wrong (missing letters because of space or only shows first), you always have your Gov. ID to verify, or your identity is linked to your SSN if it is important. Emails/other tools that use your last names: this just depends on the organization. Most of my jobs just use the first last name -perfectly ok, and a public entity I worked for used both for my email because of their policy -again, perfectly fine. Either way I use my full name on my signature.
Working in HR I have seen many IDs with hyphenated last names and it is not an issue when verifying identity or issuing employment legal docs (e.g. W2).
Ultimately you can evaluate the pros and cons. I feel like the con is the chance of experiencing some inconveniences that are more related to documents. Although it is not currently the "norm", it's more common than before and thus people understand how to deal with those inconveniences.
thank you for all of your input. It definitely helps me to work through the though hearing different perspective especially when it comes to culture and common issues. I truly appreciate all the input
@wigglyicecream very late to this conversation but I wanted to share that my maiden name was hyphenated. It was not a combination of my parents last names, but rather when my grandfather moved to the US, he chose the spelling to be hyphenated. As a child growing up, I didn't find the name to be complicated at all. It was unique but my siblings and I never struggled learning to spell it nor did we resent having the hyphen. I'll also say, my mom chose to hyphenate when she got married to keep her maiden name. She had to go to court because she was told at the time you can only have one hyphen in your last name (I have not checked if that is still the case).
We are 90% sure our little boy will be named Flynn Elliott.
I've posted it before but now that we know we are having a boy, I wanted to take time to explore names and try to find one I love more and, well, I can't find anything I love more. I'm leaving 10% wiggle room just in case we are surprised by a new discovery BUT I've read every single name list in existence so I doubt that'll happen.
I really wanted to name my daughter Vera. But then for a long time my husband and I thought "we'll never want kids!" And so... we named one of our cats Vera. XD Now that I'm actually pregnant I laugh really hard because I really wanted to name her Vera. I think we've settled on Eleanor, though. So we can call her Ella. ❤️
Re: Let's talk..baby names
Honestly, I'm ALWAYS curious why people choose the names they choose. I want to ask but it feels rude to say "why'd you choose that?" but I'm genuinely fascinated by people's name picking processes.
I always wonder that too. I'm obsessed with names, if there is a person, baby or hell even a pet in a movie or tv show I need to know their names. I always figure when the character name in a show is really odd, that there is someone they are being named after.
We have a boy name we're 99% sure it is going to be. Both my husband and I's names start with a B, and so would baby boy - which I'm not thrilled about because I don't love any B girl names, but I think I'm okay with breaking the "tradition". I'm with @bridgiebee82 on same initials being annoying in the educational world, just because they often look alike I always end up calling them the wrong name.
Honestly the pressure to change names period makes me want to rebel against it.
opinion
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
I have heard and read the reasons as to why people think hyphenated last names are "difficult", but in reality I don't feel they are.
The learning portion: between my 2 last names there are 13 letters. I learned them like all the others kids in my country and like many more around the world. Kids will learn. Government/insurance/other IDs: my gov. IDs have my two last names and I have never had any issues. Same with Insurance IDs. In the event that any type of ID for other things has it wrong (missing letters because of space or only shows first), you always have your Gov. ID to verify, or your identity is linked to your SSN if it is important. Emails/other tools that use your last names: this just depends on the organization. Most of my jobs just use the first last name -perfectly ok, and a public entity I worked for used both for my email because of their policy -again, perfectly fine. Either way I use my full name on my signature.
Working in HR I have seen many IDs with hyphenated last names and it is not an issue when verifying identity or issuing employment legal docs (e.g. W2).
Ultimately you can evaluate the pros and cons. I feel like the con is the chance of experiencing some inconveniences that are more related to documents. Although it is not currently the "norm", it's more common than before and thus people understand how to deal with those inconveniences.
thank you for all of your input. It definitely helps me to work through the though hearing different perspective especially when it comes to culture and common issues. I truly appreciate all the input
I've posted it before but now that we know we are having a boy, I wanted to take time to explore names and try to find one I love more and, well, I can't find anything I love more. I'm leaving 10% wiggle room just in case we are surprised by a new discovery BUT I've read every single name list in existence so I doubt that'll happen.
DD1 says she thinks it fits him well. So cute.