September 2022 Moms

The Great Big Queston Thread!

1235734

Re: The Great Big Queston Thread!

  • @whitta1015 I think it’s often people using them as sleepers and then the babies moving in their sleep while the parents are sleeping. 
  • Loading the player...
  • How many daycare waitlists do I need to join? None seem encouraging about having space. Is this just a ploy to get the waitlist fee?
  • @laj0217 Where are you again? For a fee, I feel like they should be guaranteeing you a spot at some point. Try looking into in-home daycares too. Many will be not what you want, but you can find gems! My son ended up at an inhome daycare that was truly amazing. He was there from 1year - 3 yrs. For centers, you should talk with them about the likely hood of when you will know more. 
  • @magnolia209 in Savannah, GA. They’re all saying long waitlists and usually a $100 fee to join the waitlist. No guarantee they’ll have space when you need it or at all (many have priority hierarchies). I’m willing to consider in-home, but I can’t get word of mouth recommendations until we’re telling people, so that’s still a month or so away. The daycares are all saying that’ll be too late for the waitlists 😩
  • @laj0217 wow I’ve never had a daycare make me pay just to be on the waitlist! That’s crazy!
  • @laj0217 Yeah - that sounds pretty crazy. I paid onetime to be on a priority WL for a preschool. It meant they offered us a spot in the next round.

    When I was looking for childcare rather last second in 2019, I found plenty of in-home daycares with space and just one that I truly loved. The centers couldn’t accommodate us last second obviously. But, when I last second tried to get my son into Preschool this summer, I was able to do it! 

    You are making me nervous about this. We haven’t told our preschool director yet. But planning to talk to him as soon as we know there is a viable baby. I do not understand how people in your area are on waitlists before getting pregnant! 
  • @magnolia209 I remember years ago my coworkers joking that you needed to let the daycare know when you started thinking about getting pregnant 😂 I guess there’s some truth to that here. I will say there’s a wide disparity in quality, so it could just be that I’m being choosy. But I’m also nervous we won’t have a spot. Not worried about the waitlist fee so much, just more trying to figure out if it’s a real concern or a scare tactic. And is 3 enough to be on a waitlist for…
  • @laj0217 If there is a local moms group it might be best to ask there. But I’d think 5 might make me more comfortable. 
  • @laj0217 $100 doesn’t seem bad to 100% be on a waitlist assuming you’re somewhat at the top. Would they disclose where you fall on the list with you? We considered a few waitlists but the deposits were a few hundred so we ended up putting down a full $1500 deposit to guarantee a spot starting in January 2023 at a place in town. Are there any places where you can just put down a full deposit so you know you’ll be covered? In home care is great from what I’ve heard but where we are in NH it’s significantly more expensive than a daycare so we can’t afford that option and we don’t have any family closer than 3 hours away. 
  • No, I’m not mad at the cost, but it isn’t a guarantee. So, I’m worried about not having a spot and not being on enough waitlists. I think the suggestion to find a local moms group was probably spot on to get some reassurance on this. 
  • Hello! I'm Chelsea! 

    Due date? Sept 20 not confirmed yet 

    How did you find out? Tests 

    Tell us about yourself (Other children/pets? Job? Things you like to do? Spouse/partner?) I've got two other kiddos, dog, 2 cars, and an amazing husband 

    How are you feeling? (First appointment? Any symptoms? Emotionally?) Like death lol. The fatigue is hitting differently this time 

    GTKY Fun fact: Tell us what you would choose if you could only eat one thing forever. Tacos! 
  • Wondering when mammas have told their older children that they are pregnant. We have a 9 year old who has been begging us for years for a sibling so I’m hesitant to tell her before at least our 8 week appointment. That said, somehow her little witchy self seems to know and she’s been asking me things like, “do you and daddy have a secret that nobody else knows?” 😳
  • Freaking out over here! Thought I had period cramps week 4 and 5 and used a heating pad as usual on my stomach at night. Haven't had a Dr appt yet as I'm just 7 weeks. Just found out that the use of heating pads are a huge no no. And now I feel stupid and the reason my child will be under developed or I killed their brain cells. Is there someone out there that has done the same thing or am I alone and totally f'd up. (I will obviously divulge this info to my doc when I get in.)
  • @nightknight a lot of women live totally normal lives before finding out they’re pregnant. I wouldn’t worry too much and just talk to your doctor further at your first scan!
  • @nightknight what @mokay19 said.  You're not going to kill your baby if you had a few glasses of wine before you knew.  You're not going to kill your baby if you had a sushi buffet before you knew.  You're not going to kill your baby if you had unpasteurized cheese before you knew, etc.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


  • @nightknight I definitely used a heating pad during my first trimester with my first babe not knowing it was a no no and he is perfectly healthy and developed 😉
  • Hi, I’ve been lurking. Last week we had our confirmation appointment. I had started spotting brown the day before. Doc felt like was just old blood based on my description. When she did the scan she was concerned bc the baby looked about two weeks smaller than expected and we have an appointment for another scan on 2/15. She mentally prepared me that the pregnancy may not be progressing. I have been spotting now for five days. I got a bit of a fright yesterday because I had some red blood. I thought “this is it, I’m going to start bleeding heavy and miscarry.” The red stopped and returned to brown. I don’t know how to feel. She also mentioned if it’s not progressing on 2/15 then I will have a D&C. That thought is also terrifying. 
    I’m not sure if I should call the office to let her know I’ve continued spotting or to just wait until 2/15. Really, I was just hoping you ladies could share your experiences with spotting. It’s been 15 years since I had my son and I never had any spotting. 
    My husband is an ER doc and I’m a PA, so logically I know spotting can just be benign. It’s totally different being the patient though. I don’t like this side. Haha.
  • @acj1020 if it’s light spotting and not accompanied with cramping, I wouldn’t say the spotting is you main concern of the scenario you mentioned above. I would say that the size variation to where you thought is more of the concern. When did you first get a positive test compared to how far along you measured? How long are your cycles normally? If you have irregular cycles, it’s possible that your LMP just doesn’t line up with “normal.”

    Usually they like to give 2 weeks between the scans to give your body some time to grow or process. I’m really sorry you’re going through this stress! 
  • My LMP was 12/13. But I spotted for a week prior to “regular” bleeding. I’ve seen my provider about it before and based off tests they weren’t sure when to classify my start date. Anyways, based off 12/13, I should have been 7w 4 days. But it was so small they couldn’t give me a date. Hubby was looking over her shoulder and said machine said between 5-6 weeks. I would have expected 6w 4days. My cycles are about 28 days and regular.
    yes, I totally get what you are saying. I guess if it was just the measuring small I’d be less concerned. Or just spotting. I think the two combined make it feel more ominous.
    thanks for the reply!
  • @acj1020 As a PA I'm sure you know they're are other options than a d&c. I personally feel more comfortable with letting my body miscarry on its own after being told with two pregnancies that I should schedule a d&c and had two healthy babies. If you want things to move faster but don't want the surgical procedure, they had medications to. I will say a miscarriage at home is not comfortable, I've had one before. And if you have another kid at home to take care of that might be harder too. I didn't have any children when I had a miscarriage. 
  • @acj1020 As far as spotting goes, I had spotting almost daily for until about 12 weeks when I was pregnant with my son, and he was perfectly healthy and the doctors never found anything concerning to explain the bleeding.  I can totally relate to how stressful that is though.  I definitely spent a good part of my first trimester convinced I was miscarrying.  
  • I’m about 10 weeks along and just got my initial bloodwork done. I have minor anemia. Dr suggested an iron supplement. Any suggestions out there that have worked well for you and didn’t cause constipation? 
  • I really like the ones I get through Bariatric Advantage.  I honestly don't know if they would cause constipation or not though - my digestive system works weirdly.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


  • ktm12345 said:
    I’m about 10 weeks along and just got my initial bloodwork done. I have minor anemia. Dr suggested an iron supplement. Any suggestions out there that have worked well for you and didn’t cause constipation? 
    I had great success with this during my last pregnancy. It didn't cause any side effects for me when other iron supplements did. Amazon says it's no longer available, but I think I also found it at Walgreens.

    Feosol Natural Release Carbonyl Iron Caplets, 60ct https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0085JNY3I/
    DD 10/2019
  • @ktm12345 my midwife recommended megafoods blood builder, I've taken many iron supplements and I find them to be the best. Normally if I don't eat an iron supplement with a meal, I will vomit in the next 10 minutes. My stomach is pretty sensitive to iron even when not pregnant. I once drank water that was high in iron and vomited it back up. I don't have that happen with the blood builder. They do have a strong smell to them though I feel like it's a cross between broccoli and maple syrup.

    https://www.megafood.com/iron-supplements/?gclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=CjwKCAiAo4OQBhBBEiwA5KWu_yifJLclhLzbuwqFy0lULVziXzW4m1_lKnK_SwFeLA1AR6U-9Xlr0BoCH8sQAvD_BwE
  • @whitta1015 we used the 4moms Rockaroo, I think that's a little similar but with a safer incline. 

    Like other moms said, I also plan on using my boppy newborn lounger again, I just wouldn't ever leave him/her unattended in it. But for sitting right next to me, it makes all the sense in the world. 
  • Hello all! I just had another visit with my OB and they said that the next scan I would get would be my anatomy scan at 20 weeks- they apparently don’t offer the option of a nuchal translucency scan. It was my understanding that NT scans were pretty much common practice and I’m a little taken aback by this! Does anyone else have an OB that doesn’t offer NT scans/ doesn’t offer a second scan until 20 weeks? 
    The irony is that they are considering me “high risk” and are sending me to a separate facility for my anatomy scan. Not quite understanding the logic here. 
  • @blanket_girl so I thought I had this done with both of my kids and sent a message asking if I could schedule it for the same day I have a glucose test and I was told they don't do them. That I would have to go to a larger hospital with more detailed US machines. That my other two kids had them done because of my other complications. I thought they were standard. I'm really bummed about not needing a 12 week one because I won't see babe in there again, but at the same time I guess I should be happy we're currently having an uncomplicated pregnancy for the first time. 

    My midwife did say the Nipt is offered and that would be better too. 
  • @blanket_girl oh wow, I’m really surprised by that! I also thought it was just standard. It is standard at my office. Like @jhysmath said, if you have any concerns, you can always do an NIPT which gives more concrete answers than an ultrasound. It’s just a blood test, so it can be done at like any lab. 
  • @blanket_girl At my doctor, it's pretty common to have your first scan around 8 weeks for dating, then your anatomy scan at 20 weeks, and no other unless medically necessary. I had a couple of others with my first pregnancy due to placenta previa, but typically it's just 2 scans. 
  • @blanket_girl just like others said, the NT scan isn’t standard at mine either and wasn’t for my other two kids either. Though, I’ve heard if you are AMA or high risk, they often recommend it. So if you are high risk, I would consider calling insurance and asking your OB where you would go for it. 
  • @blanket_girl that is surprising to hear and definitely adds a level of stress. It’s standard practice at my midwives office, but I know there are private imaging centers that would do it for you. Unclear of the costs, but it’d give you peace of mind which might feel priceless. Hopefully you can find someone to do the scan for you and all is well with the baby!
  • Thanks, all! That does put my mind at ease to know it’s within the realms of normality to not have one. I am 99% sure we want to do NIPT next week, so maybe it’s a moot point anyway
  • @blanket_girl at my office they just do a 10 week dating scan and 20 week anatomy scan! 
  • I am from Canada, and my first time actually seeing my doctor will be at 12 weeks. This is my first pregnancy and I am feeling a lot of anxiety, already wondering if everything is going ok, etc. 

    I was pretty shocked when I went to the clinic once I knew I was pregnant and all they did was get me to do a pregnancy test and told me to come back at my 12 week appointment. I thought there would be a bit more followup. And then I thought wow....this is going to be a long 7 weeks! But this is my first time so everything is new. 

    Just looking for some tips on how to reduce anxiety and what to do in the waiting. Thanks so much ❤️
  • We have a couple other Canadians, so maybe they can speak as to whether this is a common Canadian experience as far as the appointments.  Remember that the U.S. tends to be "doctor happy," so Americans likely typically have more visits/labs/scans/etc. than many other places.  If you're seeing a midwife rather than an OB that could also explain some of the differences - OBs tend to medicalize pregnancy and feel a need to monitor it closely, while midwives see it more naturally and allow it to just unfold.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


  • @kenzi49 I feel you with the anxious waiting. I have a 5 week wait before my first appointment (only 2 weeks left!) and it's been tough. Meditating just 10 minutes each morning has been helping. As has talking with my sister about my symptoms and worries. She's a mom and the only one who knows besides my husband. Keeping myself busy and not thinking about baby also helps. But realistically, I'm thinking about baby 90% of the time!
    40 yr old FTM EDD 9/30/22 
  • Thanks so much ❤️ We plan on telling our parents this weekend and I am really looking forward to talking to my mom about it. And yes, 90% baby brain is accurate no matter how hard I try! I appreciate the advice. Hope that you find peace as you wait as well. 
  • I just had an ultrasound ( I did IVF so this first one is at 7 weeks) and the little one’s heart beat is perfectly normal but measuring about a week small. The nurse said it might be a challenge with measurement and they will redo the ultrasound. Curious if anyone else had similar experiences, at any point, with measurements being off?
  • kenzi49 said:
    I am from Canada, and my first time actually seeing my doctor will be at 12 weeks. This is my first pregnancy and I am feeling a lot of anxiety, already wondering if everything is going ok, etc. 

    I was pretty shocked when I went to the clinic once I knew I was pregnant and all they did was get me to do a pregnancy test and told me to come back at my 12 week appointment. I thought there would be a bit more followup. And then I thought wow....this is going to be a long 7 weeks! But this is my first time so everything is new. 

    Just looking for some tips on how to reduce anxiety and what to do in the waiting. Thanks so much ❤️
    I hear ya, unfortunately the first 12 weeks are just LONG up here in Canada. I’m there with you. 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"