IF Testing and Treatment w/o 11/8

kiki047 · November 2021

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/q5/ty895qooknx4.jpg

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been):

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on?

kiki047 · November 2021

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, RPL, RIF, MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFAF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Waiting for my "real" post-IVF period so we can start stims for the next one (I say "real" because the insanely heavy bleed I had 3 days after ER was a withdrawal bleed and not my period)

How are things going?: Ehhh. Overall, ok. Physically I feel good, trying to keep our spirits up as we wait for PGT results. I'll spare you the details but *TW* Friday was a tough anniversary for us as it was the 1 year anniversary of our first loss *end TW* so I've also been feeling pretty out of sorts and it comes and goes in waves.
I had some "spotting" last night and this morning but like it's barely noticeable, and is really just brownish discharge, not enough to even show up in a liner, and not on every wipe either. Today is 15 days from when I started my withdrawal bleed so I was fully expecting something to be happening in the next week or so anyway.

Any questions?: Just questioning whether I should be calling in the spotting or waiting for actual full flow before I report my CD1. WWYD? Tbh my W/D bleed was so insanely heavy that I wouldn't think there's much left in there to shed, YKWIM? I'm chugging water so I'll have a reason to keep going to the bathroom to check tho lol.

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? If there was a Winners/Home Sense/Marshalls/Ross in the mall that's probably where I'd go first. If I had money left I'd find somewhere to get a mani/pedi or foot massage.

keikilove · November 2021

@kiki047 That opening meme is perfection.😄

I’m sorry about the tough anniversary. Sending you warm hugs, my friend.♥️ Re: your calling in CD1, I’d wait till you know something more definitive. If nothing happens in the next 24 hours then I’d call your RE. Good luck!!

hanshotfirst77 · November 2021

Sorry I was Mia last week. I was lurking and thinking of you all but feeling pretty overwhelmed from some personal stuff but I am going to try to be more present this week.

@kiki047

I usually call CD1 once I need a pad or tampon. If it’s just spotting when you wipe I call that just spotting. And I’m so sorry about tough loss anniversary. Those never get easier. Hugs ❤️

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, unexplained secondary infertility unexplained RPL

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): waiting on insurance

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

kind of in a holding pattern waiting for insurance clearance for FET

How are things going?: it’s ok. I’ve got kind of a personal dilemma. TW pregnancy not mine and infant death

My cousin was pregnant with her first baby and he was born a few weeks ago in late sept. Run of the mill pregnancy no issues. But when he was born he had a lot of issues and never left nicu. Sadly he did not make it.

This may seem silly or irrational but I feel weird that I will be having a FET soon after what my poor cousin is going through. Obviously she is inconsolable right now. And rationally I know me trying to conceive has nothing to do with her but it’s weighing on my mind and I feel so awful for her and her husband and what a tremendous loss they are going through.

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on?

I would probably go to a Best Buy or other electronic place. I could so easily spend there. That or target.

fantasyflyte · November 2021

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): testing

How are things going?: not bad, we went to get the blood draws today for the clinic to make sure we have no blood-borne diseases, and also testing my AMH. I know the others are standard tests that'll all be negative anyway, so the AMH is the only part I really care about. Also I wasn't super impressed by the phlebotomist telling us we should pray to Saint Something-Or-Other and we'll get pregnant. If someone wants to pray in that way, to each their own, but that's 1) not exactly professional, and 2) not exactly the kind of topic you want to throw at a random stranger.

Any questions?: not really, just waiting for my baseline ultrasound next week.

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? probably nice splurgey craft supplies and/or clothing.

fantasyflyte · November 2021

@kiki047 Sorry it was a tough weekend for you. *hugs* Personally, I'd wait to report CD1 until a pad/tampon/cup is necessary. My obgyn considers CD1 to be the first day of full flow, if that helps.

@hanshotfirst77 I'm sorry for the difficult time your family is going through. *hugs* to you too.

bumblebee0210 · November 2021

@fantasyflyte. OMG I totally agree-- story in spoiler (*tw* mc)

When I was in the hospital getting a D&C after my miscarriage (alone, because COVID) the nurse was first clueless, like she kept asking about my meds and I was on an anti-nausea drug for pregnancy and she was like "wait' are you pregnant?" and I was like "sort of". Then once she realized her mistake she went on and on about how she had lost an infant (which is terrible but also like, not really a professional conversation) and how she just "gives it to Jesus" and how i should too, and then later she had to ask my religion (I guess this is standard for surgery) and I was like "Jewish" and she was like "oh I'm sorry for saying all of that" but the whole time I was like can I just roll over and pretend to go to sleep so this woman will stop talking? I wished MH was there so badly because he would have just been like "go away".

walkawaynee · November 2021

@kiki047 I am sorry for the tough weekend. I agree with the others on waiting for more flow to call.

@hanshotfirst77 no need to apologize for taking a break. I am sorry for the loss in your family and understand your feelings about TTC while your family is healing but you are correct that your journey is still independent.

@fantasyflyte so weird for someone to say that too you in a medical office! GL on your test result an UD when it's scheduled!

Diagnosis (if you've been): AMA, DOR, Procrastination, low morphology. Maybe even a little dysfunctional thyroid for funsies.

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): benched.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): BCP to prep for ER stims in a couple weeks.

How are things going?: moving along. Waiting for the clinic to schedule my SHG and med teaching appts. Insurance approved all meds except the trigger, very excited to have minimal out of pocket for meds this round! (They only cover one round of meds)

Any questions?: NATM

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? Either put it towards a new couch or buy a bunch of things I probably don't need at a Target!

hanshotfirst77 · November 2021

@fantasyflyte totally agree. It really bothers me when people do that. It’s like people that have never had IF saying just stop trying and you’ll totally get KU. Insert eye roll. 🙄

@walkawaynee that’s so great for that coverage. Every little bit helps so much! Hope you get everything scheduled soon.

And thank you both ❤️

bumblebee0210 · November 2021

@hanshotfirst77 That is rough. I can't imagine going through something like that. But it's important to remember that you're not helping her by not having your own children.

@walkawaynee. That's so great that your meds are covered for this round! Pro tip-- order all of the refills. (There are almost always refills), and save them for the next round.

@kiki047. I'm sorry for the anniversary-- those are always a kick in the teeth. I agree with what the rest have said-- I told my clinic about spotting once and they were like "call back with full flow"-- the nurse said they don't like to schedule anything until they are 100% sure because it's a hassle to change.

Diagnosis (if you've been): RPL, DOR

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): FET #1

How are things going?: Stressed. Some family drama, which was a bit distracting (in a good and bad way), but a friend asked me today how IVF was going and I did tell her that we were in the TWW, and she was like "well that is exciting, right?" and I just burst into tears and said I felt really conditioned to getting bad news. I didn't quite realize that I felt that way until I said it out loud, and maybe it's the hormones, but my good vibes are definitely slipping away.

Any questions?: What should I expect, period-wise? I have never been on progesterone. Does it just come after you stop the meds, or does it sometimes come even when you're taking them?

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? Books probably. Or a really, really nice winter coat.

kiki047 · November 2021

@keikilove thank you

I stressed myself out so much leading up to the anniversary, even scheduled myself a therapy session Friday afternoon, only to feel the full force of it in the days following instead. You'd think I would know by now just how grief works, we've experienced enough of it. Hope things went well in MX this weekend!
@hanshotfirst77 oh goodness, that's so heartbreaking about your cousin. I can absolutely understand your dilemma in wanting to be sensitive to their situation.
@fantasyflyte uhh wtf to that phlebotomist. In "Things NOT to say to (IF) patients" that's pretty high on the list.
@bumblebee0210 I read your story about the nurse with my jaw hanging open, OMG! So clueless. And I really feel you on being conditioned to receiving bad news. I feel the same way. Re: progesterone, my cycles have varied, I did bleed through the progesterone once but for the most part it will keep AF at bay until you stop, which would be after a negative beta. I am keeping everything crossed that you won't need to know the answer to that question though!!

@walkawaynee that's great news about insurance. I'm annoyed by the process to submit my meds - MH recently changed companies and the new one is a pain in my ass so I just hope I'm still covered in the end. I know my company doesn't cover anything IF related but since I'm on a co-pay they need me to submit it to mine anyway so it can be officially rejected, and only then will they pay out. In the grand scheme of things though, it's a small price to pay if it means I can get ~$4k back for meds.

Thanks for your input on AF ladies. I think my concern is that this weird spotting won't actually turn into anything, so how many days do I let this drag on? But honestly I think I answered my own question because I'd probably end up calling the nurse and asking in that case anyway. So far, still nothing, almost 24hrs of ... whatever this is. Pfft. And I'm annoyed at the tiny voice in my head that went "ooh maybe it's implantation bleeding!" because 1. I don't think I ovulated, 2. it's way too early, and 3. we're infertile AF, that's not a thing for us. I hate that voice in my head.

shortstack930 · November 2021

Hey friends, I'm back.

@kiki047 I'm so sorry about the tough anniversary. I would wait until you need to actually change a pad/tampon for the bleeding.

@hanshotfirst77 I'm so sorry for your cousin. I can't even imagine. Just remember that your struggle is independent from hers and you have the right to feel how you need to feel.

@fantasyflyte a big WOW to that phlebotomist for the unsolicited advice. She might as well tell you to relax and you'll get pregnant while she's at it. I hope your bloodwork comes back quickly!

@walkawaynee that's great about your insurance coverage!!

@bumblebee0210 it really is sad how we become conditioned to bad news. Hugs, friend. I hope there's a lot of good news heading your way.

Diagnosis (if you've been): Endometriosis

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO I guess?

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): waiting for my cycle to restart so we can prep for FET #2

How are things going?: Not great. *TW* This is my first loss and even though it was pretty early, it hit me really hard this weekend. I spent all day Friday and Saturday in bed and finally managed to get up late Saturday evening. I've been trying to look on the bright side that at least our RE says we can move right into another FET as soon as my cycle restarts but my heart hurts. DH has been so amazing and literally left work the second I called him Friday and has been keeping the house running while I've been out of it. *end TW*

Any questions?: *TW*

I'm not sure what to expect period-wise now after the loss. I had some light bleeding yesterday but nothing since. I'm assuming I'll get a really heavy period?

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? I'm with @bumblebee0210, I'm buying all the books!!

kiki047 · November 2021

@shortstack930 oh friend, I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

*TW* mention of MC

My 2nd MC was around the same time as yours @ 5w2d. I was prescribed misoprostol to make sure I wouldn't have any retained tissue, but if you were already spotting it sounds like your body is already doing its thing. It was extremely heavy for about 2 days and 4-5 days of lighter bleeding. Most of this had to do with how thick my lining was going into the FET. Sending you great big hugs.

hanshotfirst77 · November 2021

@shortstack930 I’m so sorry. My heart sunk for you reading your update. But I’m glad your H has been so supportive. I’m glad you can get right into another FET soon. It always helped me to have the next steps to focus on and a plan.

@bumblebee0210 I have everything crossed for good news for you. But I understand how it’s so hard sometimes to remain positive. But know we are all rooting for you.

fantasyflyte · November 2021

@shortstack930 I'm so sorry. I don't have any helpful advice, just hugs.

bows22 · November 2021

@kiki047. I’m sorry about your loss anniversary. I hope you & YH are finding ways to take care of yourselves. Sending love your way ❤️

@hanshotfirst77 I’m so sorry, how horrific for your cousin. I’m sure the whole thing is hard to process. So incredibly unfair.

@fantasyflyte well that’s pretty annoying. Did you get the bloodwork done at the clinic like are you going to repeatedly see this person? Because if so if it were me I’d be rehearsing in my head how to reply next time haha

@walkawaynee glad everything is lining up for you and you’re moving right along!

@bumblebee0210 I was taking progesterone at night and my period started the next day after my first missed dose the night before. I hope you don’t get to find out how soon your period comes! (I typed this before I saw @kiki047’s comment but great minds think alike haha)

@shortstack930 again I am so so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and it sounds like you have quite a gem in YH. I’m glad he’s doing a great job of supporting you❤️

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained,AMA,endometrial polyps/thickening

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Clomid + IUI

How are things going? Fine. I am feeling very meh about this TWW. Protecting myself against disappointment I guess? It’s like - I have this feeling like I don’t care, even though I care very, very much. Blah. I think I might get my covid booster (I think I saw somewhere that you qualify if your BMI is over 25?) if this cycle doesn’t work so at least that will feel like something productive since the main reason I want to get it soon is for if I get pregnant

Any questions? Nope

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? This is so boring but work pants. I never want to spend the money on them so if I had to quickly pick something out and spend a lot of money on it that would be what I’d want.

fantasyflyte · November 2021

@bows22 luckily this draw was at a Quest, so chances are pretty low of me seeing this person again. On the covid booster, you are correct that you qualify if you're overweight (not sure the exact threshold). Another one I want to mention because it surprised us, so it might help someone else, is that a diagnosed mental health condition is also a booster qualification.

@bumblebee0210 seriously! Don't people know that you never talk politics or religion with a total stranger?! I'm sorry the good vibes are petering out and I hope you get good news this time.

@walkawaynee woo to covered meds!

optimistgardener · November 2021

Firstly, @shortstack930 i'm so, so sorry to see you back here again. Let us know if we can help support you in any way. Not that you needed any confirmation on this, but spending the weekend in bed actually sounds like a perfectly reasonable and healthy response. I'm so glad your H stepped up to support you.

@kiki047 hugs re: your anniversary. i'm so sorry. i'm sure it doesn't help to be observing that anniversary in the context of some really unconvincing mystery spotting. The physicality of this whole process, oof. Re: what counts as a proper "day 1," I agree that standard "full flow" is when we need to bring on the absorbent materials, et al. But in your case, I can see why you might be wondering whether this is ever going to become anything else. In only 15 days, it seems plausible that you might not have built up much of a lining to shed. I dunno. Talk to the nurses at your clinic, of course. I guess i'm just chiming in on this to be like, yeah, maybe "full flow" could be pretty unimpressive in this context.

@hanshotfirst77 welcome back from lurkville, friend! as for your dilemma, what a horrid tragedy for your cousin and your family. but as others have said in this thread, whatever you do or do not do will not change what has happened. i would also be surprised if anyone else in the family were to put the calendar pieces together like that in a conscious way, although of course it is natural for you to do so.

@fantasyflyte what the heck re: the phlebotomist. And also @bumblebee0210 with your terribly story about the nurse who wouldn't leave you alone. Here I'll add to it with one of my own. TW cancer ref

When my mom, freshly diagnosed with an aggressive and rare cancer, was prepping for what we hoped would be a lifesaving surgery, the attending nurse insisted on telling my (atheist) mother about how one of her dying patients had once had a vision of the angel Gabriel (who was, she felt compelled to inform us, hella handsome and also 7 feet tall) at the foot of her bed. We were all like, what the actual F are you telling us this for, lady.

@bumblebee0210 *hugs* on the disappearance of good vibes. i'm with you on having trained myself for bad news. i hope you'll be pleasantly surprised, though. i suck at being optimistic for myself but i've directing all my optimism your way.

@walkawaynee that's great about the insurance covering so much!! high five!

@bows22 i'm so sorry you feel blah. i totally get that protective defensive feeling. I hope it turns out that yr preggers, but if you do wind up getting that booster shot, I may wind up getting my booster not long after you do. I need to wait till after the term finishes so I don't wind up dealing with side-effects when I need to be teaching, but then I guess i need to wait out the results of the ER in case it turns out I have to do an immediate transfer (if I get 2 or fewer blasts).

eta @keikilove just general good vibes in your direction. I am looking forward to your next update and hoping things are leveling out a little for you.

Diagnosis (if you've been): AMA, DOR, scarring, endo, cranky lonely ovary.

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): BC lalaland

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): waiting for a retrieval cycle to begin

How are things going?: ok? still freaking about my schedule but i guess i'll still be doing that right up until it all somehow works out. also i got an invite from some of my colleagues to go out for a beer this friday and part of me really wants to go, because god i need some in-person socializing that is not my students. but the other part of me is like "don't drink in the lead-up to your retrieval! what if you regret it later?!" someone talk me down. can i go enjoy a beer?

Any questions?: as above.

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on?

ooh good one. i'm really not any good at spending money at a mall (although i'm great at spending it elsewhere, sigh), but i think i'd be down to split my money evenly between 1) decent sportswear, especially winter running gear, 2) books forever!, and 3) a massage if there's any money left. actually i should probably just invest in the latter regardless because boy do i need it right now.

fantasyflyte · November 2021

@optimistgardener yeah, this guy was like "oh yeah, I had another patient who prayed to St. WhatsHisFace and she was pregnant the next week!" Like dude, that's not how it works. He also mentioned **tw for someone else's baby**

that his wife just had their first baby less than a week ago, and how he wasn't super excited at first. Dude our paperwork is literally from a fertility center and you're going to sit there and talk about how NOT excited you were to have an impending kid?!?!

gingermama29 · November 2021

@kiki047 hugs. Sorry for your difficult anniversary.

@hanshotfirst77 oh that’s awful. I can’t even imagine. So sorry for your cousin.

@fantasyflyte yeah that’s super off putting. I would’ve been annoyed too, especially as someone who isn’t religious.

@walkawaynee yay for insurance covering almost all the meds!

@bumblebee0210 hugs. It really sucks when it feels like all we get is bad news. Still sending good vibes your way.

@shortstack930 I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs. With my most recent loss in August, I bled a bit heavier than normal for about 2 days and then spotted for several. Take care of yourself.

@bows22 I just got my booster on Friday because of my increased risk in my job. It’s definitely worth looking into if you are eligible.

@optimistgardener nothing wrong with socializing and having a beer! I totally understand how you feel though.

gingermama29 · November 2021

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): natural cycle

How are things going? Things are good. I O’d on Saturday (CD 52) and we had good timing so here’s hoping! My body seems to have adjusted to metformin which is good except that I’m supposed to increase my dosage to taking two pills a day starting today. I also got my COVID booster shot on Friday and thankfully only had very minor side effects - mostly a very sore arm.

Otherwise not much to update. Just waiting to find out if this natural cycle was successful or not.

Any questions?: natm (hahaha my phone autocorrected that to Batman 😂)

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? Oh man, I’d easily spend that in a heartbeat on clothes at Torrid, no problem

laura-kay · November 2021

Diagnosis (if you've been): Unexplained

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): natural cycle

How are things going? I’m ok. We were going to have another IUI this cycle, but I got really sick. Not good timing to try with treatments!

TW

A side note - My brother in law has been very sick and going to the hospital regularly with sepsis, about every 2 weeks. We are concerned that if things don’t change and he becomes antibiotic resistant…..well, it wouldn’t be good. We spent a lot of time this past weekend with my nephew and baby niece. My nephew is 4 and he isn’t handling it well.

Any questions?: Not at the moment

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? Kitchen tools! Or maybe baking supplies….or an espresso machine

LJMoon6 · November 2021

@kiki047 Oh man, I hope AF shows up sooner rather than later for you. Being in limbo sucks.

@hanshotfirst77 Well shit. That is heavy. I’m shook. I understand why you feel that way. But you need to separate yourself from them. You have your own story. I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss.

@fantasyflyte Holy super unprofessional! I hate that for you. During my very first appointment with my RE she went on and complained about her kids (I think she was trying to be personable or some shit). I just sat there in shock. Holding back the tears. Some people just don’t get it.

@walkawaynee That’s awesome about insurance covering meds! That’s a huge expense!

@bumblebee0210 I’m sorry you always feel like you’re going to receive bad news. I can completely relate. Big big hugs. Go ahead and let yourself have those feelings. We will all stay positive and hopeful for you! Progesterone question. If you’re on enough progesterone it should stop your period from coming. Once you come off it, it’ll take a couple days for your period to start.

@shortstack930 I am so sorry to see you back here. YH sounds amazing. I’m so glad you don’t have to take a break in-between and can move on to the next FET. It’s helpful to have something to look forward to.

*TW

I had a very similar early miscarriage. MH was not as understanding as yours (even asking for sex a couple days later). My period wasn’t anything too heavy. But I’m assuming you were taking progesterone? That alone could cause a heavy period in my experience.

@bows22 I’m feeling extremely hopeful for the both of us (we’re in this together)! I wish I could have the “I don’t care” feeling. But I’ve let myself get too hopeful. I also have a few things that I want to focus on if this doesn’t work out. It’s helpful to have a distraction.

@optimistgardener Go enjoy that beer! I understand not wanting to do anything to jeopardize your chances. But I think a beer or 2 during your BC phase is not going to harm anything. Or just go and get NA drinks?

@gingermama29 I’m so happy you finally Oed and on your own at that. Hopefully your increase in metformin isn’t too uncomfortable.

@laura-kay I’m so sorry to hear about your BIL. That’s got to be so hard for everybody. Do they know why he’s been so sick?

Diagnosis (if you've been):  Unexplained

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  IUI #4

How are things going?:  I think I’m doing ok. I’ve been staying super hopeful this entire time. It’ll probably start to fade in a day or 2. I know this is our last IUI for a while… so I’m sure I wont handle it well if it doesn’t work out. But also, how am I only 4dpo!? This TWW is going to go by soooo slowly. Plus I didn’t buy any more cheapie HPTs… so I don’t even have that to distract me with.

Any questions?:  Nope

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping center and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? I’m generally a cheap ass, with the desire to be boujee. So I’d probably go buy some cute name brand clothes lol

edit to add the spoiler I forgot.

kiki047 · November 2021

@bows22 that defense mechanism really kicks in hard when you know you care too much about something and you're bracing yourself for disappointment. I'm sorry you're feeling blah about it already. Happy you have the booster to look forward to. Also one can never have too many work pants and I hate spending my own money on them because I hate work pants (I hate any pants that aren't leggings)
@optimistgardener that's exactly it, like I know what "full flow" looks/feels like, but in the context of this being a weird half-cycle where I've already had a full bleed, maybe this is it? Coming from the women whose internal dialogue probably sounds a whole lot like yours, let me be the one to say "Drink the beer!" Honestly, we live in this world of Do All The Things but also Don't Do Anything "Bad"... it's one night. You're still a few weeks out from starting stims. You're not going on some crazy bender. Call it a form of self-care. Eat some protein with it and try to enjoy yourself without the guilt.
@gingermama29 FX for your natural cycle!! Glad your booster wasn't too bad.
@laura-kay I'm so sorry about your BIL. I hope he'll be ok. That must be so hard on his LOs.

AFM, spotting has basically stopped, but I definitely feel PMS-y so I think I'm going to wait this out and see what happens.

acleverusername · November 2021

@kiki047 I am truly sorry about the loss anniversary. I hope you let yourself feel all the feels. Sending you hugs. Good idea about therapy session, despite the mistiming. And argh, I'm really sorry that AF is totally MIA, but hopefully your PMS-y feeling are bang on and it'll be here before you know it. It's very interesting to see how differently your body reacted to this stim cycle. Also agree with @keikilove that the meme is perfection. ONe of the things that I love about my RE is that he treats me like an equal, recognizing how my research I've done.

@hanshotfirst77 girl, I am SO sorry for your family's loss. That is truly tragic and there is no way that anyone can prepare for something like this. I hope your cousin is able to get grief counseling ASAP. This just goes to show that nothing in life is certain, despite any good signs. As for you and your transfer timing, I agree what others have said: your journey IS separate from her. HOWEVER, and this is important, if YOU don't feel like you're ready to go through with the transfer because you want to be there for your cousin, then don't. You need to feel ready first and foremost.

@fantasyflyte WTF with that phlebotomist. I'm a pretty salty person so I would have told her/him(?) to STFU. Also would have reported them to Quest management. I hope you'll never have your blood drawn by the same person.

@bumblebee0210 OMG at your "inappropriate nurse" story. How incredibly insensitive especially given the situation you were in. Also, I am really sorry you're stalling yourself for a transfer failure. I will have hope for you. As for progesterone, I've never gone through a transfer (obv) but whenever I take progesterone suppositories its takes exactly 3 days after stopping for me to get my period. Keeping everything crossed for you for good news on Monday.

@walkawaynee your ER is getting closer! Only 2 weeks away! Woo! That's really sucky about your insurance only covering 1 round of meds. If you're interested, you should talk with @optimistgardener about ordering meds from overseas. WAYYYYYY cheaper.

@shortstack930 My heart is breaking to see you back here, but I'm really glad that you're going right into another transfer. We might be on the same timeline then! I hope your AF arrives soon (*TW* After my CP, AF came just a few days after I stopped progesterone. Also I had 2 heavy days but then it ended pretty quickly. Normally I have 1 heavy day. *end TW*)

@bows22 I completely understand the "protecting yourself from disappointment" feeling; been there so many times. I'll keep being optimistic for you. I would definitely get the covid booster and I do think you qualify.

@optimistgardener what I really love about your updates is how eloquent they are. In case we had any doubts that you're an academic. But seriously, reading your updates is like reading poetry. Re: your schedule, it will ALL work out. Not the same thing, but when I was in my late twenties, early 30s, I was working full time, doing my MBA part-time (2-3 classes per week), and also finding time to go to hot yoga 3x a week. If a stranger looked it my schedule, they would have thought I was nuts, but somehow it all worked out and I actually kind of liked it because I knew where I needed to be/what I was supposed to be doing at any given time.

@gingermama29 good luck with this natural cycle! I also got my Covid booster a few weeks ago, and reacted to it WAY better than the 2 previous shots.

@laura-kay hi friend! Nice to see you back.

@LJMoon6 I'm just gonna have hope for you like I do for @bows22 and for @bumblebee0210. I know the favor will be returned when it's my time. I think it's a good call to not have any cheapies lying around.

kiki047 · November 2021

@LJMoon6 cross-posted so missed your check-in. I laughed at "I’m generally a cheap ass, with the desire to be boujee", boy can I relate to that! I'm personally rooting for you that your hope doesn't fade away this cycle. FX for you friend!!
@acleverusername I thought of you ladies when I saw that meme. Thinking of you while you're waiting for updates. I have questions, but I'll wait to see if/when you do your check-in because I'm sure you'll cover it.

keikilove · November 2021

Hey friends, been lurking but have been slammed w work and a hectic & disappointing round of stims. Finally catching up today, back for tags in a moment. Would love any advice on my question below. Many thanks in advance!

Diagnosis (if you've been): RPL, RIF, Elevated NK cells & activity, DQ Alpha match, blood-clotting mutations, AMA, DOR

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): The plan was to do another retrieval for embryo banking. However, I’ve only developed 4 follicles, another record for worst cycle I’ve ever had. It’s now converted to an IUI. If this one doesn’t work I won’t be doing any more retrievals for at least 2-3 months. My stress levels have been at an all-time high, my work has been more intense and demanding than ever, and I’m averaging just 5 hours sleep per night due to workload. Terrible life habits=terrible cycles. No sense trying anymore IVF if I can’t get the rest of my life healthier and more in balance.

How are things going?: Not great. See above. And to make things more confusing, I got my period during luteal phase stimming (which is normal for DuoStim). But it showed up on CD25, which is early. And then yesterday, on Day 5 of my period, I also got a lot of EWCM, which was super weird and waaaay early. That usually happens 2-3 days before I ovulate. I had just one OPK with me on this trip and of course it turned out to be defective. When I did it last night the liquid did not move up the strip at all. So no info on what the heck my body is doing. Details about the cycle in spoiler only if you’re interested.

My local RE saw 5 follicles at my baseline monitoring appointment. She thought it was maybe 6 follicles but it was hard to tell because I had so many leftover cysts from the first retrieval of this DuoStim cycle. Anyway, I flew to my RE in Mexico hoping she’d see at least 6 follicles or more. At my MX RE’s office this Saturday it was extremely hectic. She’d been gone for a day and a half prior so the waiting room was packed with people who needed to see her. When I finally got my turn to go back for my monitoring, I was changed and lying on the table when the electricity went out for the first time. (I thought things like this only happened to @kiki047!) So more chaos ensued while the generators kicked in and people were reshuffled to rooms and offices with power. When my RE finally came in she checked me super fast and only saw 4 follicles. I was beyond bummed and hoped it was because she was rushing and just hadn’t looked carefully enough. I tried to think positively and not overthink it, to just wait for my follow-up in 2 days. Well, there were still only 4 follicles yesterday and this time they’d barely grown since 2 days before. I’ve never had slowed growth like that. (It’s probably because I didn’t have enough LH supplementation in the Luteal phase.) Anyway, I told her I wanted to cancel the retrieval and she said “Oh no, every egg deserves a chance. I don’t think you should cancel.” So I said that under normal circumstances I’d switch to an IUI. But given that we have so little heathy frozen sperm left that it wasn’t an option. She called the lab and verified that we actually have plenty of sperm left for IVF. Happy surprise for me! She said we could use 2 vials for an IUI that would probably yield 20million sperm, and we’d still have enough vials left for multiple future rounds of IVF. I don’t even think I have it left in me to do multiple future rounds of IVF. So I agreed with that plan for IUI and bought the meds she suggested. Now I’m second-guessing ALL of this. WWYD?

Any questions?: I woke up this morning and realized that I’ve never spent this much money on meds for an IUI. For my luteal phase IVF stimming I’d been on 225 Follistim for several days, then added 150 more of FSH combined with 75 LH (one vial of a med called Pergoveris). Now that I’m converting to IUI, my RE has changed me to 300 FSH and 150 LH (2 vials of Pergoveris). Do I really need to be taking such high doses of meds for these follicles for an IUI? I wanted the high doses this round for stimming for IVF, but now that it’s been changed to an IUI, can I lower my doses of meds? Will it hurt the eggs to lower dosage now? I’d rather save some meds and money for any future round of IVF.

Some background info with trigger warning.

**TW: PG** I did 4 natural unmedicated IUIs in a row that were all initially successful before being lost.**End TW**

I then did 4 medicated IUIs that weren’t successful. Even so, with just Letrozole and/or 75 units of Follistim, I’d always grow at least 3-4 follicles for those IUIs. I have 4 follicles now. Yesterday they were measuring 16, 16, 15, and 14. Will they stall if I lower my dosing? If you don’t think they will stall, what dosing would you suggest? Thanks for any insights you can offer!

GTKY: You've just won a $500 gift card for the local mall/shopping centre and you only have 2 hours to use it. What do you spend it on? I don’t go to the mall. I’d probably go to TJ Maxx or HomeGoods and waste it there lol.

acleverusername · November 2021

Oh frig, I forgot to reply to @optimistgardener re: having that glass of beer. Girl, GO FOR IT. Not a doctor, but I'm sure that the "not recommended to drink before/during your IVF cycle" is if you're a heavy drinker. Like. if you're having 1-2 glasses of wine every day, yeah... cut back. But having 1 beer, on 1 day, is SO UNLIKELY to have a material (or any) effect on your IVF cycle. AFM, I was pretty irresponsible with having wine a couple of times a week leading up to my stim cycle (and even once during the cycle) this time around (and well, I might pay the price for it when I get my report tomorrow, but I also felt like I was taking care of my self).

@keikilove now that you've provided your update, I will once again say: I don't know how you do it all. But I think you're onto something with: terrible life habits=terrible cycles. I know you're feeling like you're running out of time, and that's not wrong, but give yourself permission to take a break, and get your life to a point where you can support treatments hopefully that time will come). Re: your question, I would stop all meds and let your follicles grow on their own. There's no need to keep slamming them with such a high FSH amount. I think it's more likely to do damage than good. (I.e. I asked my RE about longer stim cycles, and its affect on follicles and he said that he starts to worry when the cycle is approaching 17-18 days long). The other thing is: do you really want to use that precious sperm for a cycle that's looking so uninspiring? You asked WWYD... I would just cancel it all, go home, rest, focus on your work/YH, and your lifestyle. I hope this helps. Sending you hugs.

Edited to add some more info.

kiki047 · November 2021

@keikilove I groaned at the power outage, that was NOT the vibe I wanted to pass on from my last cycle. To echo @acleverusername's sentiments, I honestly don't know how you do it all my friend. You asked what I would do? I mean, if I were in your situation, yeah I'd probably do the same thing. I wouldn't want to waste time or a cycle. That said, that sperm might be more precious than your eggs right now and I don't know that I'd want to use it as a Hail Mary on the latter half of a DuoStim cycle that hasn't felt right from the start... Also, if you had your period recently, did your RE say what your lining was? Would it be conducive to implantation? Is there even any research on LP stimming for an IUI? The rational side of my brain says to take a step back and take a breather... of course we know the heart doesn't always listen to reason.

optimistgardener · November 2021

@keikilove i'm writing this while hectically amidst grading/lecture writing/the works so i am sorry to make this short but i needed to send you a hug. i think i'd land in Clever's camp re: cancelling this cycle and taking some time out to just deep breathe and focus on all the other stuff that's going on in your life. coincidentally i read some studies this morning talking about how there is no clear relationship between retrieval outcomes and cortisol levels in the body, so if you do decide to move forward with the cycle you've got (some) science on your side. but i also think the fact that you've had two of your worst responses to stims happen back to back in the context of your having just crazy amounts of stress in your life means your body is saying something. i don't think a month or two (or three!) of difference is going to change things in terms of your retrieval outcomes; it may even improve them if you can just take that extra time you've been dedicating to traveling and put it towards extra hours of sleep, good food, and quiet walks (w/ yh if he's feeling up to it).

keikilove · November 2021

@shortstack930 Oh, I’m so so sorry you’re back here with us. Sending you lots of hugs. Loss is no fun. But it is good that you feel up to trying again soon. You are strong and resilient.

@LJMoon6 I also laughed at your comments regarding the shopping spree. Cheap and bougie? Same, girl, same.Also staying hopeful for you. It’s the only way to be when going through all of this, right? Hang in there! 🍀

@kiki047 Glad the spotting has stopped. FX that AF decides to show up soon!

@acleverusername That was quite the update! Congrats on all those embryos! I agree with you: how could you have all that data (however incomplete it is) and not start to try to make meaning of it?!😄 And I love the PubMed note you included about Day 3 morulas. I have a few of those and your comment makes me feel a lot better about it. Can’t wait to hear your Day 5 update! 🤞🏽

@hanshotfirst77 Oh, I’m so sorry to hear what your family is going through.😢 As you know and everyone e else has said, it is their walk and you are ina. Different path. However, I agree with others who said that if this is weighing heavily in you then perhaps you should wait to do your own transfer. I hope you’re able to arrive at a decision you feel solid about.💕

@laura-kay So sorry to hear about you being so sick and your BIL’s illness. How scary! I hope everyone starts feeling better very very soon!

@gingermama29 Congrats on the natural ovulation and great timing! Keeping good thoughts for you in this TWW.

@fantasyflyte Seriously, WTF with those comments that you had to endure? SO inappropriate! I’m sorry you had to deal with that.//Hope you get your bloodwork results back soon and that you’re happy with your AMH!

@optimistgardener Oooh, good choice spending the money on a massage! I add that to my list lol. And YES you should go socialize with your new collleagues! One beer won’t hurt anything—just nurse it all night if you have to in order to feel comfortable (or enjoy the beer😁). Thanks for the positive energy.💕You can keep it coming, I need all the help I can get right now!

@bows22 We are all staying hopeful for you and the others in the TWW! Self-preservation makes sense too, but try to be positive for the remaining days. Dreaming of free work pants is a good start😆 Boring but necessary, hahaha.

@bumblebee0210 I hope the family drama and stress has dissipated some since you posted. I’m sorry you’re not feeling super hopeful but we are all holding you down on the positive vibes front.☺️ Re: your question about progesterone, it can go either way. Some people still bleed while taking it, others stop it and then AF shows up 2-3 days later. I hope you don’t even have to worry about any of this!

@walkawaynee I laughed when I read the part of your diagnosis that said “Procrastination”. Did you mean that or was it a typo? I feel like so many of us older women are like Why TF did I wait so long to do this?! So I can relate whether it was on purpose or not. Also, congrats on insurance covering almost everything! That’s such a relief.

Edited for weird spacing.

hanshotfirst77 · November 2021

@keikilove I am so sorry with how this cycle is going and all the other stressors in your life right now. I hope things calm down and and you can get back into another retrieval soon. But also hope this cycle surprises you and works out. Big hugs

@bows22 and @LJMoon6 I hope both of you get through this TWW with amazing news but I understand how hard it is to be positive through it. But I’m rooting for you both so hard!

@optimistgardener have that beer friend! I understand the impulse to not want to mess any potential cycle up. But totally enjoy it. I myself always end up depriving myself and kicking myself for not just letting myself have a little indulgence.

Thank you everyone who offered support and advice about my family issue. TW loss mentioned

Saying it’s been hard is an understatement at best. And I think it weighs heavier on me because then I think about my losses and feel like they are a drop in the bucket compared to hers. But I know I shouldn’t compare. Every loss matters no matter when or how long. But I feel just awful and also no one knows I am getting back to TTC again. So I have no idea how they’ll react. But I also think I may just be projecting bad feelings. I tend to over analyze things. But in any case I appreciate the perspective from everyone and fortunately I have some time to reflect on it as I’m waiting on insurance approvals.

optimistgardener · November 2021

stopping by again briefly to be like @acleverusername i WISH i were having 1-2 glasses of wine a day. that sounds great. but no, i've been basically tee-totalling with the rare exception this whole fall. also thanks so much for the nice words about my words. i had to laugh because i always look back at my posts in total exasperation. my copy-editing lenses only kick in after i've hit post, apparently.

@walkawaynee i'm always around to chat cheaper meds strategies if you have to cover them OOP in the future. i make my orders through IVFPharmacy, based in Israel, but there are others also on this board who have likewise found good deals without going as far afield. It depends on what your clinic is comfortable with in terms of sending prescriptions as well. Here's hoping you don't have to pursue that line of research.

acleverusername · November 2021

ALL - btw, I'm not witholding information from you. I don't have my blast report yet, since my clinic only gives it on Day 6 (and that includes Day 5 / Day 6 blast). Work is hella busy, so I haven't had a chance to provide my update. I'll probably provide the update once I have my results tomorrow.

acleverusername · November 2021

Hey ladies, TEW did one of her Q&A episodes last week and I just had a listen. It's an all-around great episode and I highly recommend a listen:

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CV6gbRCKYJD/?utm_medium=copy_link

Also, @keikilove @optimistgardener @bumblebee0210 have you guys looked into PRP (ovarian rejuvenation) at all? TEW has mentioned it a number of times at this point, so I figured I should start a discussion on this as ya'll know how I feel about her advice.

optimistgardener · November 2021

hey @acleverusername. ok so i do not know much/anything about PRP, but i just did a bit of google research and here's my hot take. it seems like a potentially promising but still as-yet unproven "basket" of distinct treatments without real data yet to back them up. The two most useful pieces of information I could find were from kinda opposite ends of the swimming pool, so to speak. Here's a recent scholarly review article discussing studies on a range of different "rejuvenation" techniques (the conclusion seems to be, basically: data is mixed, and a lot of the data that has been collected is of poor quality thus far). And heres a NY Post article, lol, which essentially comes to the same conclusion but using shorter words. The only thing I could find about euploidy rates, which is of course the main concern I have (and I think it's one of the major concerns many of us have, when it comes right down to it), was less than promising. One of the studies discussed in the review article looked at euploidy rates following a stem cell transplantation therapy and found euploidy rates to be low. But given that there's a whole range of different treatments under this broad umbrella term, it seems hard to even know how to approach them all until they're dis-aggregated and better studies are undertaken. For now, it appears that they're a hot treatment option at a number of trendy/well-known fertility clinics around the country. Maybe they're on to something? Or maybe they're making money off of us desperate DOR types without the results to back it up.

bumblebee0210 · November 2021

@shortstack930. Oh man, I'm so sorry to see you back here. I'm glad you're able to go right into FET #2, and I hope this one is the winner. Be kind to yourself-- the feelings come and go, and it's totally normal to feel completely over it one day, and then get hit with it like a truck the next.

@acleverusername. @optimistgardener. My sense from watching/reading a lot of TEW stuff is that she is very in the mindset of like "if there is any shot this might work, and I have not seen any clear harm from it, I am for it". In many ways that is good-- I think medicine can be slow to adapt new protocols-technologies until there is overwhelming evidence (and everyone else is doing it). I also assume that she thinks like hope and a positive attitude and doing *something* feels better, and maybe that helps her patients as well. I think the issue with this attitude is that there are typically two costs to treatments like this: one is just money (which I think is not a typical concern of her patients), and the other is that there are *so many* things like this that "could help" that trying to do them all can be more stressful and overwhelming than helpful. With all of these things I tend to think of a cost/benefit analysis (guys, did you know I am an economist

), and if money is no object, often things like, say HGH are actually pretty low cost in terms of time/hassle, relative to like, overhauling your whole diet (potentially cheap but a HUGE hassle). So I try to adopt the things that might work and also aren't going to stress me out too much.

kiki047 · November 2021

@bumblebee0210

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/xT4uQ9budGqB7s6lEc/giphy.gif

fantasyflyte · November 2021

I'm starting to wonder if I actually have PCOS or if there's something else going on, because my testosterone and other CD3 bloods were pretty good, and I just got my AMH result and it's 1.59. Also I can't figure out if that's good or bad? Or neither? All I can really tell is AMH is usually high in PCOS, but mine's not.

At the very least, I'll have a better picture of things next Friday when I get my ultrasound done, but part of me is scared that there's something different that's "wrong" with me than what I've spent so long assuming was the problem. Which I guess isn't necessarily a bad thing, maybe there's something different/better we can do, but you guys know how nerve-wracking anything unknown can be.

ETA on the good side, switching to 5000iu vitamin d daily has definitely helped because I went from 19ng/mL 6 months ago to 46ng/mL now.

keikilove · November 2021

@acleverusername @hanshotfirst77 @kiki047 @optimistgardener Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond and thank you for your supportive comments. It means a lot. I really appreciate each one of you.💗 I was flying home yesterday so didn’t have wifi to reply.

@acleverusername Thanks so much for your input. It’s sound advice. Unfortunately, there won’t be a time in the foreseeable future where my life is that much less busy than right now. However, while it is always very busy, usually the stress levels are a lot less than my current situation. Like you, I spent my twenties working my career job, plus a second job on weekends, getting my Masters on campus in the evenings, and other family responsibilities. Ditto for my 30s while climbing the ladder pretty doggedly into managerial and leadership roles. So I’m used to the current pace—I’m just not used to the weighty heaviness and burden of some of my current responsibilities. For sure, more sleep, exercise, and meditation need to take a more central role in my life right now. P.S. It hasn’t been an especially long stim cycle yet, but I agree with your dr: if I started approaching even 14 days I’d call it off for sure. That’s just way too long for me personally based on my stims history.

@kiki047 Thank you! You asked some really good questions. I asked my RE about the timing too. Just by chance I’d had bloodwork a couple days before and it showed that my progesterone was only .33. She said that if I stopped taking progesterone then my lining should grow. She said it was lucky that I’d had my period during stims because there was a chance that there would be enough time to grow the lining before IUI. She also said that after we use 2 vials for IUI that the remaining vials of MH’s sperm are more than enough to do at least 9-10 more rounds of IVF—which I’m definitely not doing—so I have a bit more peace in using this precious reserve for an IUI. Soooo, I’m on my way now for monitoring at my local RE to see how the lining is looking and what my bloodwork shows, and whether this is a good idea or just not possible to move forward with an IUI. I’m not sure about studies on LP implantation, but I’m part of a DuoStim group for women around the world who are doing Duo at various clinics. I’ve seen several posts lately of women doing fresh IVF transfers in LP after confirming that their progesterone is still low. So it must be a thing but I’ve certainly never heard of if until now.

@optimistgardener Thanks so much for responding despite your also-super-hectic schedule. I really appreciate you sharing the summary of studies on cortisol’s effect on cycles. That is indeed reassuring! P.S. I echo Clever’s sentiments about your writing. This week in particular I read and re-read your replies to other people because they were just so thoughtful and eloquent! If reading your own beautiful posts makes you cringe, I dread to think of your reaction to my stream-of-consciousness brain dumps!😬🤭😜

You guys really had me thinking about my original inclination to cancel the cycle completely and start fresh another time. I was a plane ride away from calling my RE in MX to cancel. At the last minute I remembered that my local RE had told me to use her personal number anytime to text her. So I sent her a quick summary of the sitch and by some miracle she responded almost immediately. She replied with “Hmmmmm.” Then said that she understood what my RE is doing, that my RE in MX is using my body as an incubator instead of removing the eggs to fertilize them. She said I definitely do need meds to keep the eggs growing at the same rates of maturity. She said she had a patient very similar to me who had 8 eggs, didn’t follow the advice for meds when converting to IUI, and then lost almost all of them. My local RE said I might get away with doing half the meds dose that was recommended since my follicles are already big. Since it was just one more day till this monitoring appointment I went ahead yesterday and did the dose my MX RE prescribed, then did just half of it this morning, and am waiting to see what comes from this monitoring appointment. If it’s a go I will take the other half of the dose this evening. I’m having yucky period-like cramps so who knows what’s going on? 🤷‍♀️ Maybe my body will decide for me that this is not the cycle to do an IUI.

optimistgardener · November 2021

@keikilove you're so sweet. i hope your cycle winds up working out. i'm sorry it's all such a mystery!

@fantasyflyte i am not an expert PCOS but you're right that your AMH does not appear to conform with the usual expectation of a high reading. 1.59 is, so far as I know, a very "middle of the road" #. if it isn't pcos, i hope they're able to unravel the mystery for you and offer a strategy for dealing with it. @acleverusername, didn't you have a mis-diagnosis of PCOS somewhere along the way?

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