Questions thread

Kenneylynn3 · May 2021

@BourbonBiscuits In a bathtub...at least that's how I did it when my grandma bought one from a second hand store.

BourbonBiscuits · May 2021

@Kenneylynn3 that's what I was imagining too - some kind of soak situation

moerae · May 2021

If you haven’t bought a packnplay yet, I recommend the guava lotus baby. They sell a separate conversion kit which turns it into a bassinet, which I used until the weight limit. It can stand still or rock gently in that mode. the packnplay part has a zipper which you could open up, so the kids can go in and out, which DS really liked. And best of all, it packs small enough to be used as a carryon on flights! I loved it with DS and planning to use the same with this little as well.

surrenderdorothy · May 2021

@BourbonBiscuits not sure if this is the "right" answer, but I washed whatever I could in the washing machine (covers, etc. The rest of it got wiped down really well with Clorox wipes or over disinfectant. I let that dry, then wiped it down again with a wet cloth (or maybe hose?? Not sure if you can soak the metal parts or not) to make sure none of the chemicals remained. You probably could spot treat any areas with Oxyclean as well, although have not done that. This is how I cleaned my BOB running stroller and it worked well.

ematurn23 · May 2021

Alright who here failed their 1 hr glucose test? I just got the call and I'm trying not to panic, I'm really hoping it was a false positive. I am taking the 3 hr test on Tuesday.

dancingnarwhal · May 2021

@ematurn23 - I failed the one and three hour so I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes last week. Don’t panic. A lot of women fail the one hour but pass the three. But even if you don’t, it’s okay! GD can typically be managed with diet and exercise and even if you do need insulin that’s okay too! I was super upset originally with the diagnosis but getting more information and being able to take control by adjusting my diet has made me feel a lot better about it.

kam174 · May 2021

So, maybe this is weird or maybe it’s hormones, but I’m having this overwhelming feeling of not wanting to “share” this baby with anyone (except my husband of course). Like my mom and mother in law are both offering to take time off after baby is born to help me, and I’m kind of like “thanks ... I’ll let you know.” And then they’re talking about how they hope covid restrictions are lifted so they can visit the hospital as soon as baby is born, and I’m like 😑 kind of hoping they’re not able to visit so my husband and I can have a second alone with our baby. This is my first and I’m planning a scheduled c section, so I’m sure I will need the help once we’re home, and I’m grateful they’re here and offering a hand ... but it’s also a little overwhelming, and I’m very independent and I just want to enjoy every second of having a newborn and I don’t want to share 😆 am I being a crazy pregnant woman!? Or is this a normal first time mom feeling? Anyone else feeling this way?

coastalmomma3 · May 2021

@kam174 I was the same way with my first baby. I actually told my husband not to call our moms to tell them I was in labor until late in the evening. They live 6+ hours away from us and I knew they wouldn't be able to drive down at that time. 😂 With my second and with this pregnancy I'm asking them to pack a "go" bag though. But that's more to help us with childcare of the older two than anything else.

dancingnarwhal · May 2021

@kam174 - This is my first and I feel the same way. I agreed to let grandparents come visit when baby is born earlier in my pregnancy and now I’m worried that they are going to want to hold him a bunch and I don’t want to let them. I like thinking about my husband helping with the baby and holding the baby but anyone else I just feel like I won’t want to share him at all.

We are not allowing hospital visitors for sure no matter what the covid regulations are in August.

kam174 · May 2021

@coastalmomma3 @dancingnarwhal thank you!! I thought I was being crazy, but glad others have felt/ are feeling the same way. I think especially after going though IVF I just want a chance to enjoy this baby that we went through hell and back to have. I know everyone is excited but I feel like I’m going to have to tell them “we need a minute!” Lol

grogu · May 2021

@kam174 I only told my parents we were in labor because I knew they couldn't come home (we are a ferry ride away)
My in-laws didn't know until after the baby arrived and weren't allowed come see her until the next day.
The last thing I wanted was a bunch of people in and out of my room when I was trying to figure out breastfeeding etc.

My mom worked at the hospital though and was able to check in daily afterwards which was nice because I had to stay around 4 or 5 days due to some complications post delivery.

This time around my in-laws will know because we may need them to watch DD until someone else can come get her but I'm hoping our hospital keeps the no visitors rule so no one can come see us haha

coastalmomma3 · May 2021

@kam174, don't be afraid to set boundaries right away. It will likely be something you have to do with many parenting decisions. At least, it's been that way for us.

I looked up our hospital's policy on visitors last night. Right now, moms are allowed one support person and one visitor (over 18) while recuperating. I'm thankful that my husband and I will have some space because of this policy but my kids are going to be really disappointed that they can't visit their new sibling right away.

the_most_happy · May 2021

@kam174 I’m also definitely not having visitors at the hospital regardless of what the rules are by that point... honestly I never understood that whole concept, like why not just wait until the new parents and baby are home and settled in their own space? No one in our families has brought it up, so idk if they are going to be surprised that we’re going this route but they will deal, lol. My MIL keeps doing the (half-joking?) “I’ll watch the baby!” thing whenever I mention any vague future plan (like “We’ve always wanted to visit Charleston”-level plans, if you can even call them that), and it’s annoying but I try to think of it as a win-win for me- she can’t make me leave the baby with her unless I want to, and if I want to I have someone to leave the baby with.

cyanope · May 2021

@kam174, I’m the total opposite! 😂 I’m a, “the more the merrier” type always, and especially during the early postpartum phase. I am always bored out of my mind right after having a baby and welcome the distraction of a constant stream of visitors. That won’t be the same with COVID, obviously, and we’ll have to change visitation “rules,” but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there!

Kenneylynn3 · May 2021

@kam174 I didn't want visitors at the hospital. DW felt differently as she was at the hospital during both of sil births. We came to an agreement that we would call when ready to have visitors at the hospital. My mom decided to hangout at the hospital during my delivery (I didn't know she was there, until we had been in my pp room for less than 5 minutes and I had gotten a phone call asking if I was ready for visitors.) I was not happy with her. We called my in-laws after she left and it was so nice for them to be excited and invited to meet their first grandson (FIL was sooo excited). I'm hoping covid policies are still in place as I don't want any visitors until we are home since it will be our only really time without DS. However, I'm an sad that DS won't be able to meet the baby at the hospital, and I don't know how he'll do without me (he's still breastfeeding) while we are gone. We've never been away from him overnight and he's 27 months.

fitmomma1989 · May 2021

I agree with above posters. Don’t feel like you can’t set boundaries. Right after you have a baby the main goal should be as much skin on skin as possible and to focus on breastfeeding (if that’s your plan) - having a baby is exhausting! Do whatever you need to in order to keep your sanity!

After my first, we had visitors and it was so stressful. This time around I told our families that
we aren’t allowing visitors. My kids will be allowed to come meet their brother, so whoever is watching them is the lucky one that can see the baby in the hospital! Other than that- once we are
settled at home people can come visit.

claireloSC · June 2021

@kam174
I felt the same way with my first baby. I will also say, just be on the watch for postpartum anxiety, for me not wanting anyone else to hold the baby or be around escalated into PPA of me being nervous they wouldn't do stuff right. Not that it's not also perfectly normal to have a preference of it just being you and your husband with LO. But just wanted to share that too. My sister did end up coming out for the first couple nights and helping and it was helpful because I had a really horrible birth injury and needed some extra rest. It was helpful but I was also glad she left after a couple days. I didn't really see anyone else until a couple weeks had gone by and I was feeling a little better.

ladyk127 · June 2021

@kam174 To echo what everyone else has already said, set your boundaries! My husband's grandma walked into the hospital room after my son was born and marched right over and started trying to take him out of my arms. Like.. didn't even wash her hands. My husband stepped in before I had a chance to react, and told her to wait. I was not happy. It still makes me mad to think about. If you don't want people there, don't be afraid to tell them!

ashsowers2020 · June 2021

With DD I set boundaries ahead of time and told both sets of parents they can meet their grandchild once I had enough time with my baby after we started our bonding and breastfeeding, and if my ex husband and I were up for visitors. We still had them come the same day but it was hours after baby was born and not too much time before visiting hours were up so that we had an excuse to kick them out lol. For this baby, I really want my daughter to be able to visit us at the hospital. It’s my in laws first grandchild so I would be okay with them coming to see him, but I’m not very close with my parents (don’t have a relationship with my dad at all and my daughter doesn’t even know him so neither will my son) so I’ve already told my side of the family that I would call when I’m home and settled and they could all come and go as they please to see the baby. However, if my in laws cannot be at the hospital to see their first grand baby I do want to be sure they have the time alone to love on him when we get home, and as much time as they want before my family comes. It’s completely circumstantial for me, but I made sure to talk to them all ahead of time so there aren’t any surprises— my mom showed up AND went into the delivery room during labor with my sister when my nephew was born and she didn’t have permission to do so from my sister, the nurses just thought that since she was alone that my mom would be more than welcome. COVID has been such a nice excuse to avoid things like that lol I know it sounds awful

ematurn23 · June 2021

Alright moms of boys and moms of boys to be. To circumcise or not to circumcise? My husband and I are on the fence with it. I get that it is cleaner and a lower risk for infections with circumcision, but does that outweigh the risks of a botched procedure? I just don't know if I can in good conscious put my son through that if it isn't necessary, the procedure sounds awful. I don't think it's enough to say yes just because it's more socially acceptable. I've been with both types of men and either way was fine for me.

Kenneylynn3 · June 2021

@ematurn23 we chose not to circumcise DS. My mom was shocked of our choice, even though my brother's procedure was botched in the sense that they didn't remove all the foreskin and she had to take care of it as if he wasn't circumcised. Honestly, our whole family had an opinion, so if you are really on the fence and you've done your research, you could always your family (parents, siblings, ect) what they chose and why.

coastalmomma3 · June 2021

@Kenneylynn3, can you have a trial night apart from DS before you go into labor? It may be helpful for him to have the practice of bedtime routine without you and give you and your wife some solo time before baby.

@ematurn23, we chose not to circumsise our son. I just didn't see the value in putting him through pain for a limited purpose. We haven't had any type of hygiene issues with our son (now 6.5)

shoogapoff · June 2021

@ematurn23 We will circumcise (if we have a boy) for religious reasons. I think it's valid to be concerned about the possibility of a poorly-done procedure, and something to consider. Because I'm delivering at a birth center, they don't offer circumcision. Apparently in that situation, most people go to a Pediatric Urologist, which I'd imagine would be well-done. So if you do decide you want to circumcise, maybe look at not doing it in the hospital? But I understand not wanting to do it at all. I don't know what I'd decide if it weren't a religious factor for us.

fitmomma1989 · June 2021

@ematurn23

We were on the fence with our first son & literally in the middle of the night after I had my son our nurse came in and talked to my husband and I about the benefits of keeping our son intact. I knew deep down I didn’t want to circumcise him, but that really convinced me to leave him be the way he was made ... perfect

There are tons of really great resources available these days (Your Whole Baby) and research to back up keeping little boys intact. The biggest thing is just to leave it alone- don’t retract! And make sure your pediatrician knows that as well. Sadly, many are still misinformed.

Having another boy this time & definitely leaving him intact as well!

https://www.yourwholebaby.org/

https://www.yourwholebaby.org/basic-intact-care

claireloSC · June 2021

I wanted to share that my in-laws did not circumcise their son, as they wanted it to be his choice. My FIL's side is Jewish so my brother in law ended up getting a bar mitzvah and choosing to circumcision at around 12 years old. So while it hurt, it's not like you can't get it done later if that's preferable.

CapricaAndrea · June 2021

I was undecided on circumcision but my husband felt very strongly in favour so I let him choose. If it was up to me entirely I probably would have opted not to, I don’t even like the idea of piercing a baby’s ears because they can’t consent, but I wasn’t about to fight my husband over it.

loloyoyo26 · June 2021

@ematurn23, my husband and I have been through this discussion also. We’ve decided to circumcise unless it isn’t a procedure covered by our insurance. That being said- we also feel like it’s really a personal choice vs there being one “right” answer. It seriously comes down to what you are okay with. A pro to not circumcising is that your son can always make that decision for himself later so leaving him intact is not depriving him of something he can never do differently, yet circumcising isn’t reversible.

This particular decision was one of the few things that DH had a huge opinion on, and was linked to religious background. I’m ok with compromising with him also for 2 reasons. A)the hospital I will deliver at is fairly baby friendly so that reduces a tiny bit of my worry, and then B ) DH is fine with waiting for an office appointment with a pediatric urologist. If circumcisions in the hospital are done by pediatric doctors, we may choose to do it there though.

On a side note that can be something for you to look into- find out about general policies at where you will deliver. For example, if they do automatic skin to skin time, baby rooming in, no pacifiers unless you ask for them, lactation consultants are there even on weekends/holidays, etc. (There’s more but I can’t remember if there are more baby friendly things to look for.) So, looking back now I see that I didn’t research as a FTM as much as I could have so I had all this stuff I listed in my birth plan/wants that I didn’t even end up needing to request, because it was already their policy.

Edited because apparently B + a parenthesis with no space between makes a sunglasses smiley face rather than staying as I typed it.

ematurn23 · June 2021

Thank you so much for all the responses! I will be talking to my midwife at the next appointment and learning about the procedure at the hospital we will be delivering at, and doing a little more research before we decide for sure. I'm still thinking I want to leave him intact so it's nice to read I wasn't the only mama, thanks again!

cyanope · June 2021

I grew up in a home that was very anti-circumcision (none of the men in my Mom's family/my brother weren't circumcised). My dad was, but he followed my mom's lead. When we had our son, I did not want to circumcise. BUT, my feelings on anti-circumcision were more mild in comparison to my husband's PRO circumcision sentiments...so I let him make the ultimate decision. I did have a few requirements though. I wanted our Jewish pediatrician to do it (not the hospital) and DH had to handle ALL of the after-care/diaper changes for the first little while. I still don't love that we made the choice that we did (I am with @CapricaAndrea...I didn't even pierce my daughter's ears because I wanted it to be HER decision), but it is what it is. If we have another boy, I will still let my husband make the decision. He usually follows my lead on everything, so I figured I could give him this one thing that he felt REALLY strongly about.
I do agree that it's something that can still happen in the future if you decide NOT to circumcise. My uncle was circumcised as an adult. I will also add a few personal experiences. My brother has always resented that my mom didn't circumcise him. He was embarrassed. He's fine with it now as an adult, but he always gave her a hard time about it as a teenager. It's becoming more and more common NOT to circumcise, so I'm sure it won't be as much of an issue with our kids' generation. And last anecdote: my sister is an ER nurse. She has seen a LOT of older, uncircumcised men with cleanliness/infection issues (granted, that had to do with age and a general lack of hygiene). That was what convinced her to circumcise her own boys. Obviously she and I are VERY controversial in our family for that choice (my mom was horrified), but to each their own!
That was a novel...

kam174 · June 2021

Anyone get the tDap (whooping cough) vaccine? My dr. Highly Recommended I get it, so I went on Friday and as of today, I still have a ping pong ball size bump at the injection site and the spot is still really sore 😒😖 Anyone else have a reaction like this from the tDap??

Kenneylynn3 · June 2021

@kam174 got mine on Thursday. It's huge and itches like a mosquito bite. I don't remember this from last time, but it's normal for it to be swollen/painful. Try to massage it.

the_most_happy · June 2021

@kam174 oh no! I got mine but I didn’t have any side effects at all, though they did say it might make my arm ache. It seems a little weird for it still to be so swollen and painful five days later, maybe check in with your doctor about it?

ashsowers2020 · June 2021

I got mine but didn’t have side effects other than it was a little sore at the injection site for a few days. I would definitely reach out to your dr about it

claireloSC · June 2021

I got mine a few weeks ago, my arm did hurt for a day or two but not a big deal or as bad as the covid shot or anything.

quitexcontrary · June 2021

I’m suppose to get mine this week. I do t ever having a reaction like that the last time I had to get it. If it’s that swollen, though, I’d call your doctors office and talk to them about it.

ematurn23 · June 2021

I am measuring two weeks ahead. I've been told many times that this baby is big and I have a borderline metabolic disorder. Anyone have personal experience if this is an indicator I'll likely deliver early?? This is my third pregnancy, both of my girls were a few days late but I never was measuring ahead with them. My midwife said they do not induce for size.

mrspants0809 · June 2021

@ematurn23 I don’t have any experience with this but if anyone else does I hope they weigh in soon for you. I have heard that the ultrasound measurements can be +/- at least a pound. With DD they told us close to 8 lbs and she was 6 lbs 14 oz at birth at 39 weeks

Sending you good thoughts.

Kenneylynn3 · June 2021

@ematurn23 ultrasounds can be inaccurate for size. The farther along in pregnancy you are, the more inaccurate they are. If you are talking about fundal height, then usually they order an ultrasound to check fluid levels. I don't see why they would induce you for this unless fluid levels were to high. Wishing you the best.

ematurn23 · June 2021

@kennazebrowsky it was the fundal height combined with the fact that I almost got diagnosed with GD. I don't believe I have high fluid levels because I can feel every single little movement of baby.

Kenneylynn3 · June 2021

@ematurn23 sadly feeling movement will not be an indicator of fluid level. The only way to check is by ultrasound. Did they say anything about getting an ultrasound? If they don't do an ultrasound, they definitely shouldn't induce you for this reason.

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