Thanks @krash_! I may try on The Knot. @JustAnotherUsername16 - the only time I changed it was the initial change when they give you "Knottie239482307293874" - does that count? It's weird because when I look at my account it shows the username and picture have changed but when I post on here it shows up as the old stuff. Doesn't matter either way I guess. I'd just like to figure out how to post from my phone because realistically I won't be able to keep up every day if it means I have to be sitting at my laptop. Never had this problem during my 2019 days using the App.
I found the community on the app by going to the help section then clicking on the community link on the very bottom of the page. Hope that helps I was having trouble finding it on the app too compared to my previous pregnancies. @indigoheightsblog
There was apparently a waiting period and now I can post from my phone. Hooray! Edited to add that the username and photo has also officially changed!!! Formerly indigoheightsblog. Phew!
I haven’t told DH yet, planning to tomorrow! He works long hours and was cranky the last two days so I haven’t told him yet!
For my first son we told my mom immediately and my immediate family around 6ish weeks, the ILs around 12, and didn’t tell work/rest of the world til like 18 weeks. For DS2, we told immediate family at like 8 weeks, work at 18 and the rest of the world at like 20 😂 not sure what we’ll do this time. DS1 has been asking for more brothers but probably won’t tell everyone until 12 weeks.
We found out DD2 was on the way just before DD1's first birthday, so we didn't bother keeping it a secret from her. I was in the middle of rugby season at the time, though, so basically the whole world knew at week 5 when I suddenly had to drop contact sports. We probably will tell the girls, family, close friends, and coworkers after our first appointment next week. So far my manager knows and no one else. There are certain medications and patients I should avoid with my job and any other excuse will get old in a hurry. It's not ideal, but we're going to roll with it.
@arrowmama I know there was someone in the introductions who said they have long covid, but i don't remember who. I'm a covid nurse, and I'm happy to help with any questions or concerns you have to the best of my ability. Just message if you need anything!
Does anyone use Ritual pre-natals? Trying to decide if I should switch to them. I'm intrigued by their "anti-nausea" design. Prenatals always worsened my nausea in previous pregnancies.
Curious if anyone here has used midwives or doula in a hospital setting? I was high risk with DD so I 100% need to be in a hospital this time around, but I’m toying with bringing in a third party to help me advocate and stick to more of a plan. Some things I want that I didn’t do last time: be able to eat a bit, especially if I’m in a long induction... be able to move around and not be trapped to the bed prior to epidural.... etc. If I can manage these things on my own, that’s great... but if it’s helpful to have a third party then I’m open to that as well. Lots of trauma from my daughter’s birth and I’m really feeling like I need to feel more “in control” this time around.
@runningonindie I also had a traumatic birth the first time so I'm maybe not the best person to ask but I was with the midwives not the OB's at a hospital and I 100% blame their lack of understanding and failure to take action for most of my son's NICU stay and our complications. Even with the midwives I was not allowed to eat and I was limited to my bed and the toilet after the fist like 18 hours of my induction. They should have transferred me to the OB's the moment they found out about my complications and I should have been on magnesium sulfate while I labored to keep my BP down. I didn't know to advocate for these things, I was still trying to achieve my unmedicated birth plan through the induction. The magnesium sulfate was absolutely debilitating, like the worst flu feeling possible, but I should have been on it while I labored not after. The midwives could not administer the mag I had to be transferred to the OB for that which they did after my son was already in special care.
Sorry I have strong feelings about this and every experience is different but if you were previously high risk I would just make sure to know when to advocate for yourself.
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Does anyone always have faint positive lines. I have Had faint lines for the last 3 days and I am getting nervous because they are not very dark. I have an 8 week appointment set for Jan 29.
Anyone been here? What should I do?
Tried to call the doctor, but they were out for the weekend, should I go to a clinic this weekend to confirm everything, there is a fastmed near by that has availability?
esit to add that LMP was Dec 2 which would make me 6 weeks, but based on when we DTD and when I started seeing positives I think I did not ovulate until the end of December so I am probably closer to 4.5 weeks.
@runningonindie I have had relatively uncomplicated births and my third was with a midwife at the hospital. I had a great experience but my labor was also very fast. I was already dilated to a 7 when I went into active labor. My total labor time was 3 hours from start to finish. I can honestly say, the tone and atmosphere of my last birth was similar, if not better, and it was with an OB. She was so laid back and was willing to let me do whatever. I personally prefer to stay in bed in a particular position to labor. Moving around causes me more pain. I also have my husband who is a doctor and he advocates for me. He is my rock during labor and delivery. He always gets me past transition without the epidural and he helps me focus on relaxing through the contractions. I imagine that’s what a doula is typically doing for the mom. If you’re planning a hospital birth I would look into a doula instead of a midwife. They advocate for you and support you through the process and try to help you get the birth you are wanting.
*TW* loss mentioned
@awiggin2013 It all depends on when you’re testing and how dilute your urine is when you’re testing. My last pregnancy ended in a CP and the first sign was that my tests weren’t darkening. They stayed faint and then started getting lighter. I didn’t do anything because the only thing they could have done for me are betas. I decided to just wait it out and see what happened. I will say, with this pregnancy, my tests on a certain brand didn’t seem to be darkening but I took 2 other tests that were different brands and they were darker. The wondfos seem to take a few days to see the progression. It’s nerve wracking. I hope this is a sticky baby for you and everything is just fine.
@runningonindie I had a doula for the birth of my first in a hospital. It was an awesome experience. I liked my ob too, but the doula was very special. She recognized when I was transitioning to needing to push and was able to call the nurse and get things moving.
Good ones will be able to advocate for what you want in a diplomatic way.
@awiggin2013 What kind of tests are you using? I believe it takes around 48 hours to see a significant change in darkness and there’s some point where they’ll get lighter just because there’s so much hcg but I can’t remember how far along that is.
I am testing with morning pee in a collection cup. They are blue dye tests + sign.
It is hard because I don’t know when I ovulated. I will test again for a few days and hopefully see some darkening.
Let me know if you think there is a best test. This is pregnancy number 5, and I don’t remember having this before. Normally I am a one and down kind of tester. 😢
@runningonindie the hospital I go to has doulas on-staff, so I was able to have a doula at no additional charge. She stayed with me the whole time, even when I needed a c-section she came into the OR. She was way more supportive than my husband lol
@poodledoodleooo I use Ritual! I've been on them since March 2020 (pre-covid we were going to start trying earlier). I LOVE LOVE LOVE them. I love the convenience of the deliveries, they often arrive early so that about 1-2 times a year I skip a delivery so I don't have more than one bottle in reserve. They don't have a weird taste, and since they're gel caps they're easier to take than a solid pill. I take them at night, and I'm not sure if they're better for morning sickness since I don't have another type to compare with in this pregnancy. For my first pregnancy, I think I took rainbow organics prenatals, which were solid pills, and I did have some sickness, but it was easier when I started to take those at night instead of mornings as well.
@runningonindie I was supposed to deliver my first in a birth center with midwives, but ended up with a hospital induction due to pre-e, still with birth center midwives. My birth was rough because of the induction and monitoring, but I give so much credit to the midwives and my doula for improving my experience from what it could have been. I wasn't happy with my care from the nurses at the hospital I was sent to, but the midwives spent a considerable amount of time with me during my very long labor, and I will absolutely be going with midwives (and a doula) this time, too! I'm in a different state now, so different provider, and this time I'll be planning for a hospital birth from the start, but still under the care of midwives. I have seen a midwife for my regular well-woman appointments for at least 7 years now, too, and I have just always felt a perfect combination of caring attentiveness, respect for my time, respect and admiration towards women, and relevant, scientific-based care and information.
@williams-jen My doula was also more supportive than my husband! Lol. My labor was 34 hours long in total, with 4 of those hours for pushing. It was awful. My husband was dead tired halfway through and not a great support person. My doula not only helped me when he was down and out, but also gave him the space he needed/wanted to rest. I'm looking forward to finding a doula for this birth, too. I think using one the second time around will be even more beneficial. My expectation is to be able to talk through my first birth experience with her beforehand, and discuss what I would like to do differently this time around, so she can help to make that happen.
@awiggin2013 I never use the blue dye test. I get a faint positive on those when I’m not pregnant. Go out and get a cheap Walmart test. Grab a few and test every other day and see if you start seeing a darker line.
@awiggin2013 I like frer for progression. You could wait for your doc to order betas or just do an any lab test now type place if the peace of mind is worth the money to you. I'm sorry. That is stressful.
@runningonindie This is pregnancy #4 for me. I had an OB for my first, and that was by far my hardest and longest labour/delivery. I believe if I had a midwife for her birth it would've been alot better and I likely would've been able to do it med free.
For my 2 youngest, I had the same midwives. They were amazing and even though my middle kid had to be resuscitated when he was born, it was still such a great experience and I felt heard and cared for and trusted that they would do whatever they could to help us and make it the best experience. I will be using a midwife again this time too. All if my kids were born in a hospital btw.
I don't have any experience with high risk births so I would say if you feel you need someone else to advocate for you then go for it. Just shop around and make sure you find someone who is very attentive and in tune with you.
@deziraywatt Nature Made with DHA for me. I took it 10 years ago with my last and I know it didn’t make me nauseous, so I figured why mess with what works.
@emeraldcity1214 shit, I take baby & me too... I didn’t realize it wasn’t a complete prenatal.
Anyone know if ritual contains DHA?
@runningonindie I had a doula with both of my births and recommend it if you are looking for more support and advocacy. Both of my births were quick so I can see how the doulas might not have been “worth it” from a laboring POV. Don’t get me wrong, they were still helpful but not as much as someone who may experience longer, more complicated labors. however, they are worth it for peace of mind regardless, knowing you have someone in your corner, and also help you prepare in the months before labor with resources and advice. I could see you benefiting from one.
Curious, second+ time moms, did your babies come faster each time? My second we were at the hospital under 2 hours. The first we were there for 12 before he was born.
Thanks for all your input! My birth wasn’t super traumatic but my daughters diagnoses and hospital transfer immediately thereafter were.... and the birth itself was a LONG induction, 24 hours total but 3 hours of pushing with a doctor I didn’t know... episiotomy and vacuum delivery despite being reluctant about both but too exhausted to know any other options.
like someone else had mentioned above - my husband was SPENT and he was super supportive but didn’t really know what to do. Then baby was born and it went haywire.... she was transferred to another hospital, DH went with her, and I had about 7 hours of PP care before I checked myself out of the hospital and went to be with the baby. So basically I think I am longing for a more normal, peaceful, and hopefully faster process this time. Half of it (health of baby) is out of my control right? So the other half - the labor - is something I’d like to TRY and improve this time around. I appreciate all the input!!!
With my first I read so many articles about how much nurses hate birth plans that I didn't make one. Only to show up and have a bunch of nurses upset that I didn't have one.
@deziraywatt I think most nurses are fine with birth plans as long as everyone knows they are flexible. The problem come when the person in labor is so married to their birth plan they end up being devastated when things happen where it has to change. I think that's where the thought nurses hate birth plans comes from. We definitely had a basic plan going in, but were fully aware things could change if needed.
First was born in 3 hrs from first contraction. Second was 45 mins from first contraction. Naturally I'm pretty terrified how quickly this one may come
My twin brothers were born in 10 minutes. Literally 10 minutes...like how lol
@nasalot188 That is so fast, your terror is absolutely justified!
Is anyone using apps to track nutrition? I’ve historically used MyFitnessPal, and I set my goal to “maintain my weight” since there’s no pregnancy mode. I’m not sure I’m getting what I want out of it though since I’m still getting yelled at for high sugars in the apples I decide to snack on and things like that. Just curious what else is out there.
@nasalot188 that’s so scary! Do you live close to the hospital or do you have another plan?
@grizzlymama86 I used my fit bit app to track macros for a little and liked that just because it was all in one place. I’m not sure if there’s a way to tell the fit bit you’re pregnant though. The exercise program I’m doing came with an intuitive eating tracker that I just started using but that’s on paper
@whatabout2ndbreakfast so with my second my OB kept a close eye on dilation and we scheduled an induction when I was 4cm at my last appt. So I'll probably do similar this time. I'm intrigued by the idea of a home birth, but it also terrifies me to not be in hospital. I mostly just don't want to give birth in the car or side of the road!
@emeraldcity1214 I’ve only delivered twice and never had anyone care about a birth plan. My goal was to have a healthy baby. My nurses did seem relieved I didn’t have one.
ive also been in the room for my 4 nephews birthday and they didn’t do birth plans.
Re: The Great Big Questions Thread
Sorry I have strong feelings about this and every experience is different but if you were previously high risk I would just make sure to know when to advocate for yourself.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
esit to add that LMP was Dec 2 which would make me 6 weeks, but based on when we DTD and when I started seeing positives I think I did not ovulate until the end of December so I am probably closer to 4.5 weeks.
Good ones will be able to advocate for what you want in a diplomatic way.
I am testing with morning pee in a collection cup. They are blue dye tests + sign.
@runningonindie I was supposed to deliver my first in a birth center with midwives, but ended up with a hospital induction due to pre-e, still with birth center midwives. My birth was rough because of the induction and monitoring, but I give so much credit to the midwives and my doula for improving my experience from what it could have been. I wasn't happy with my care from the nurses at the hospital I was sent to, but the midwives spent a considerable amount of time with me during my very long labor, and I will absolutely be going with midwives (and a doula) this time, too! I'm in a different state now, so different provider, and this time I'll be planning for a hospital birth from the start, but still under the care of midwives. I have seen a midwife for my regular well-woman appointments for at least 7 years now, too, and I have just always felt a perfect combination of caring attentiveness, respect for my time, respect and admiration towards women, and relevant, scientific-based care and information.
@williams-jen My doula was also more supportive than my husband! Lol. My labor was 34 hours long in total, with 4 of those hours for pushing. It was awful. My husband was dead tired halfway through and not a great support person. My doula not only helped me when he was down and out, but also gave him the space he needed/wanted to rest. I'm looking forward to finding a doula for this birth, too. I think using one the second time around will be even more beneficial. My expectation is to be able to talk through my first birth experience with her beforehand, and discuss what I would like to do differently this time around, so she can help to make that happen.
For my 2 youngest, I had the same midwives. They were amazing and even though my middle kid had to be resuscitated when he was born, it was still such a great experience and I felt heard and cared for and trusted that they would do whatever they could to help us and make it the best experience. I will be using a midwife again this time too. All if my kids were born in a hospital btw.
I don't have any experience with high risk births so I would say if you feel you need someone else to advocate for you then go for it. Just shop around and make sure you find someone who is very attentive and in tune with you.
@runningonindie I had a doula with both of my births and recommend it if you are looking for more support and advocacy. Both of my births were quick so I can see how the doulas might not have been “worth it” from a laboring POV. Don’t get me wrong, they were still helpful but not as much as someone who may experience longer, more complicated labors.
however, they are worth it for peace of mind regardless, knowing you have someone in your corner, and also help you prepare in the months before labor with resources and advice. I could see you benefiting from one.
First was born in 3 hrs from first contraction. Second was 45 mins from first contraction. Naturally I'm pretty terrified how quickly this one may come
My twin brothers were born in 10 minutes. Literally 10 minutes...like how lol
Is anyone using apps to track nutrition? I’ve historically used MyFitnessPal, and I set my goal to “maintain my weight” since there’s no pregnancy mode. I’m not sure I’m getting what I want out of it though since I’m still getting yelled at for high sugars in the apples I decide to snack on and things like that. Just curious what else is out there.
@grizzlymama86 I used my fit bit app to track macros for a little and liked that just because it was all in one place. I’m not sure if there’s a way to tell the fit bit you’re pregnant though. The exercise program I’m doing came with an intuitive eating tracker that I just started using but that’s on paper
ive also been in the room for my 4 nephews birthday and they didn’t do birth plans.
my goal this time, healthy baby and mom!