Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: The Great Big Thread of Names
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021
@mkc3888 I don't have any ideas, but when I googled it, a search for "name berry middle names for Bennett" showed up, looked pretty useful. Maybe you could go there and choose your favourites and post them here for feedback.
Here's an example of one list:
https://forum.nameberry.com/t/have-at-it-berries-middle-name-for-bennett/176629
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/namenerds/comments/d3z9je/middle_names_that_go_with_bennett/
Madelynn Nickole (Maddie)
Eliana Nickole (Ellie)
Madelynn was our girl name if DS was a girl but I decided I didn't like it (long story) but I really actually do lol. So now it's back on the short list.
And I say "I" in all of this because DH likes our original list and really isn't thinking much about it yet since "we still have so long" 🤦🏼♀️
@asf0613 thanks! I like it because my MIL's middle name is Lynn and Nickole is after my mom so she would be named after both grandmas, in a way. Our son is named after both of our dads so it seems especially fitting.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
lol. Just my two cents on top 10 list names!!
I agree, I think Madelynn is not over used, so I think that is the one we are leaning towards. We like more common names, I'm not a totally unique name person, but also don't want to necessary use a top 10 name.
Maya Grace
Camille Rose (nickname Millie when little)
The new name we like is Ezra. I think it goes well with big brothers Aaron and Micah.
we're still at a standstill on this unfortunately. DH and i just aren't in love with any boy names. We each have a few we like (and some verrrry slight overlap), but still not feeling really drawn to any.
Right now our combined "like" list includes:
Julian
Leo (i'm fine with this as full name but DH is not, and i dont like any long forms)
Max (Maximilian?)
Thomas (DH's sister's SIL has a thomas. we see them 2-3x a year so im unsure how i feel about using it)
Alexander
Jakob (DH only likes this spelling and im fine with it because i would definitely just say Jake)
i just wish i felt inspired by something that would make me feel like we have the perfect name! and while i dont intend to share IRL before he is born, i dont think i can wait until then to actually decide!!
Some of you say you wouldn't choose a name that your close friends or family have chosen for their kids, but you would name them after older family members or deceased relatives.
*TW*
So my question is: friends of mine recently lost their baby at 24 weeks gestation and named it Benjamin and I have a little brother lost in gestation also named Benjamin. After hearing the name, I realized I really liked the name. So would you be offended if a close friend named their child after your recent miscarriage and would you want them to ask how you felt first?
I definitely think it is important to tell her ahead of time that you are considering the name (rather than her finding out with a birth announcement), but offer your reasoning for potentially choosing the name rather than asking "permission." i think that shows you care about how it will affect her, but doesn't open you up to feel obligated to choose something else.
all in all though, i wouldn't even bring up the conversation until you know for sure you're having a boy and that the name is definitely a front-runner, because the conversation will definitely be a tough one for you to have.
I have one name left to decide. But my MIL already refers to him by the potential name.