NBR: So my oldest turned 5 on Saturday and MH has worked 12+ hour days/7 days a week since he got here and finished quarantine at the beginning of August. He was supposed to be off with us for the weekend and drove 6 hours overnight Friday to be with us only to get a series of phone calls Saturday at 9 am on my son’s birthday about an emergency and when can he leave to get back. He managed to slice the cake and then had to drive all the way back, got to work at 10 pm and has been working with 6-7 hour breaks in between since then. 🤦🏻♀️ I get it. It’s his job. But my five year old told me Saturday that he was happy and sad underneath because he wanted his Daddy to stay for his birthday and go to the beach with him. 😭😭😭 Cue all the pregnancy tears. I know MH is probably even more upset about this than I am but it just sucks. We are supposed to be going down to spend part of Labor Day weekend with him and have the anatomy scan Tuesday in his hometown and then sign our refi paperwork Thursday and go to the beach with his godparents the following weekend and I hate when things like this happen because I won’t know what is going on until I probably get in the car to leave.
@mdfarmchick good lord that sucks so bad for all of you. What does he do? And he lives 6 hours away right now? You are one strong person for solo parenting like that. I hope this work situation for him is temporary. At least the distance part.
COVID is going around at work....no thank you. Pretty sure why that's why I'm covering for one of our Exec. Asst. until TBD. Also, SD went and got tested today (it's going around her campus) - we should know on Wednesday whether she's positive or not.
In ~baby~ land, I picked up another pair of full-panel jeans at Target on clearance today and a comfy looking cowl neck sweatshirt which should be great for fall. Started collecting things for my Social Media Announcement (TM) for sometime after our anatomy scan. DH isn't a big picture person, so I was thinking about doing something with our doggo instead. Is October too soon for a sledding themed pregnancy reveal? I thought it would be cute to put a sign with our Siberian Husky and her dog sled along the lines of "Winter is Coming. Driver/Musher-in-Training arriving February 2021." Maybe with a pair off boots & mittens.
@WildMagelet that is an adorable idea! This Alaskan approves.
I just went to the grocery to pick up a few things for pizzas tonight, and holy sh!t half of the people weren’t wearing masks. I usually go in the morning and almost everyone is masked then, so this was really surprising/unsettling to me. No surprise, though, that most of the people not wearing masks were middle-aged men. Eye roll. Makes perfect sense that women live longer on average, tbh. That made me shop really quickly so I could get out of there. So I guess the plus side is that I didn’t have time to make any junk food impulse buys this time.
@hannahbananas11 he’s currently “liasoning” with a client and his home job in aviation. This was supposed to be a good deal trip for us because we’d get to see him on weekends and get to spend two months visiting both families... who we won’t see after we leave until after the baby comes sometime. Instead he’s working 7 days a week, mostly 12 hour days and we are still visiting family so that part worked out? We were supposed to drive back 1 October but they’ve extended us conditionally if the anatomy scan is fine until 1 November. I could go back without him but a second cross country drive without MH and two kids and possibly dogs sounds like a crap deal to me, not to mention solo parenting without family to at least play with/distract/watch my kids some of the time. 😕 Ughhh to the not wearing masks. 😣
@WildMagelet I hope your SD doesn’t have it! If she’s negative will she be coming home? Also I really hope you don’t get it at work. 🤦🏻♀️😣 As for the announcement that sounds adorable and I love it! We haven’t announced yet either and MH wants us to announce after the anatomy scan. And I kind of want to keep hiding it. The upside to masks in my hometown where everyone knows everyone... 😆
@mdfarmchick She lives off campus, so I doubt it. I can’t see her coming back until after graduation and her commissioning ceremony, even if they shut down in person classes. She’s fairly independent.
@WildMagelet oh okay. My SIL was saying they had outbreaks at the major schools in NC—NC State, Duke and UNC—and they just shut down and sent all the students home. Can I be nosey and ask which branch she is commissioning with?
@mdfarmchick NCSU students are mostly staying in Raleigh. They've switched to online classes and closed the dorms but a lot of the students that were in on-campus housing are now moving into area apartments. (my job involves working with local apartment communities) Some properties have had to set up a recording stating they have no availability since the phones were ringing off the hook.
Me: 31 Husby: 36 Married May 2014 TTC # 2 Since December 2021 Baby girl W born 2/2021 Our journey so far... (tw loss & infertility)
Diagnosis: Poor Egg Quality Working with an RE since March 2016 2 failed TI cycles 3 failed IUI cycles
IVF Feb - April 2017 23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17 BFP 4.21.17 MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17
Our adoption journey: 12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted! 5.1.19 Adoption on hold so we can buy a house! 1.1.20 Homestudy process started 3.14.20 First social worker visit 5.25.20 Homestudy Approved & Submitted to Agency
6.1.20 Surprise! Positive pregnancy test! Healthy baby girl born 2/10/2021
One of the big trucks (excavator? IDK) is here for our landscaping crew. My son is currently napping, but he is going to FLIP OUT when he wakes up and sees that. He’s obsessed with trucks. It’ll be like Disney World at our house today! I’m going to get so much cleaning done while he’s entertained by the window!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
@mdfarmchick - She's in her 5th year of Army National Guard and finishing up ROTC this spring.
In other news, I'm totally proud of myself for going to the Grocery Store and the Post Office this week. Pharmacy run tomorrow and I'll have 3 days in a row of post-work productive errands, lol.
@hannahbananas11@birdiejo my son is the same way. OBSESSED with construction vehicles (and fire trucks). When H was home with DS they would go for a walk to where the town was doing ongoing work a few blocks away and just watch for like an hour lol
@birdiejo and @moguippy, it kept him occupied for about two hours! And they’re leaving the two vehicles here overnight, so H and I went out after dinner and let him touch the trucks (found out they’re called a bulldozer and a track hoe). He loved it. And then threw a fit when it was time to go inside for bed. 😆
@WildMagelet nice work on the post work errands! I miss being able to do those!
Today I got off a little early and spotted someone on my neighborhood parents Facebook page giving away a free box of maternity clothes in my size. I rallied the energy to go pick them up and I’m so happy I did! It was a huge box! I got at least 15 pieces I will totally wear: mostly T-shirts and leggings, some jeans and long sleeves too. Feels like I hit the jackpot and now I can afford to splurge on some good workout leggings!
I'm so glad that we've had a drive-by poster, y'all! My old BMB was rife with them and there were a few gems. I was a bit sad that so far we'd only had a few here. Thanks, knotty friend, for the Saturday fun!
@hannahbananas11 I was getting a little nervous that we were all rainbows and sunshine over here. Glad you also enjoy calling these drive-by randos out.
Me: 31 Husby: 36 Married May 2014 TTC # 2 Since December 2021 Baby girl W born 2/2021 Our journey so far... (tw loss & infertility)
Diagnosis: Poor Egg Quality Working with an RE since March 2016 2 failed TI cycles 3 failed IUI cycles
IVF Feb - April 2017 23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17 BFP 4.21.17 MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17
Our adoption journey: 12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted! 5.1.19 Adoption on hold so we can buy a house! 1.1.20 Homestudy process started 3.14.20 First social worker visit 5.25.20 Homestudy Approved & Submitted to Agency
6.1.20 Surprise! Positive pregnancy test! Healthy baby girl born 2/10/2021
@tamalahoops@birdiejo I have definitely felt less comfortable in this group as my last one. Lots of ppl who intro and then disappear. Or who post and I’m like “I’ve never seen that person before”. I’m just riding it out till we move to Facebook and can weed out the randos
@tamalahoops@birdiejo@moguippy If they’re from “deep in the heaaaaart,” then it’s the same one I’m annoyed about too. I had to share the post with of my old BMB moms and she talked me off the ledge of calling that one out. Too many red flags when I read it.
We had a catfish at the very end of our F19 bump group. By that point, we had moved to Facebook (not the catfish, because none of the "Facebook admin" that we elected from our group felt comfortable with her (or them or whoever they were)). After the move, we all compared notes on Facebook and looked at their post history and it was so full of inconsistencies. One of the gals in my bmb group called them out and they tried to gaslight us all by saying that we were confused, but post histories don't lie. We posted screen caps and they never showed up again. It was a fun time for the Facebook group. Found the thread, in case anyone wants to see someone catch a nice big catfish: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12738850/appointments-january-2019/p3 (starts halfway down page 3)
I've gotten some red flags from one person who only posted in the intros and spreadsheet so far, just because one of the facts about her family that she posted doesn't time out right for that career (based on my personal experience, at least). And I've gotten some small red flags from another person who's posted sporadically. But I'm not super creeped out yet. It creeps me out when people want to jump to Facebook or things like that in the first and second trimester before any of us even know each other.
I’m curious to know who the sporadic poster is but yes on the other. @hannahbananas11
I was in February BMB for my son and we moved over I think the week of Thanksgiving. That seems really soon though! Maybe because it’s slower in here so it still feels so new.
@hannahbananas11 I think I know what career one you are talking about. Yeah fb should be happening close to due dates. I will def be reading the Catfish when I get the time. But for now, off to Target! Alone!
@moguippy I read your last two sentences and said "YES!" aloud. LOL Target alone without a kid or spouse tagging along sounds like a DREAM to me. Enjoy!
The career one is in the same general field as my H's career, and there's no way this person would be in that career at that age yet. H is 32 and he's just starting his actual career (I call it his first "real job" lol) since training is so many years. But maybe the person is still in school or early training and they're just saying that's the career to avoid confusion? Maybe I'm just way too salty and should give them the benefit of the doubt. LOL
@birdiejo Our February group moved over to Facebook in early to mid December. By that point, there were very clear regulars, so there weren't many hurt feelings when we moved because it was basically "do we recognize this person who's wanting to join and did they give off any catfish vibes or big drama vibes to anyone?". I think that was ideal timing, because the first baby of our group arrived in early January so she was able to share all the info and pictures she wanted without worrying about it being seen by randos. And we all were able to share our birth stories without feeling exposed to randos. There were 39 of us who moved to Facebook, and it's been super chill. Most of us are still really actively involved to this day and I love it. We've got a lot of funny and salty people, but no drama in our group, which is really pretty impressive for a group that size for so long.
You guys.....this is my first BMB. Why on earth would someone catfish a birth board? What would they be looking to gain? At the same time I totally think I know some of the suspect comments. It has never occurred to me that anyone one here would be on here for any reason other than they are giving birth in February, lol. This is fascinating. I just don’t have that much free time or interest in other people’s lives for no reason?
@manditchka24 I have no clue what the draw is. But it seems like every board has a catfish story. I’m guessing that some people are doing it because they like attention, so they pretend to be pregnant and get attention from people here. My feeling is that this is the majority of catfish here. Egotistical people who want attention and admiration no matter what the means to that.
Other people might do it with more nefarious reasons, like gaining trust and then taking advantage of people (like getting people to share more personal information than is proper, or getting people to give them money to help out with some “crisis”). I know the latter of those two happened in a group on here a few years ago.
@birdiejo yes! Because who the hell makes that many spelling and grammar errors with a PhD?!? Plus they shared a hdbd pic that was totally fake. They claimed to live in the snowy cold NE and posted a bump pic in summery clothes in the middle of winter. Like, no.
@manditchka24@hannahbananas11 my last board actually was fairly drama free except for the usual drive bys so I’ve never actually experienced a catfish first hand. But from hearing about it I’m definitely more aware about what I post. I would say the same thing as above, almost like a munchausen type thing where they need the attention. Or they are going to post a go fund me very soon lol
I don’t think we had a true catfish but there were definitely some embellishments happening. We mostly had a couple of odd characters, some annoying ones, some mean ones.
I think we're all on the same page as far as who smells fishy.
I will say after being part of the adoption community on fb, there are people that will use bump pics to scam hopeful adoptive parents out of money and or time and attention.
Me: 31 Husby: 36 Married May 2014 TTC # 2 Since December 2021 Baby girl W born 2/2021 Our journey so far... (tw loss & infertility)
Diagnosis: Poor Egg Quality Working with an RE since March 2016 2 failed TI cycles 3 failed IUI cycles
IVF Feb - April 2017 23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17 BFP 4.21.17 MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17
Our adoption journey: 12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted! 5.1.19 Adoption on hold so we can buy a house! 1.1.20 Homestudy process started 3.14.20 First social worker visit 5.25.20 Homestudy Approved & Submitted to Agency
6.1.20 Surprise! Positive pregnancy test! Healthy baby girl born 2/10/2021
agree that a pregnancy board is such a weird place to catfish, is reading stroller recommendations really that interesting if you’re not in the market for one?! Lol. But I understand that people get bored, need attention, try to scam, all sorts of motives. I guess that’s why it’s important to be careful with the personal information that is shared where anyone can see it.
Re: Weekly Randoms 31 August
In ~baby~ land, I picked up another pair of full-panel jeans at Target on clearance today and a comfy looking cowl neck sweatshirt which should be great for fall. Started collecting things for my Social Media Announcement (TM) for sometime after our anatomy scan. DH isn't a big picture person, so I was thinking about doing something with our doggo instead. Is October too soon for a sledding themed pregnancy reveal? I thought it would be cute to put a sign with our Siberian Husky and her dog sled along the lines of "Winter is Coming. Driver/Musher-in-Training arriving February 2021." Maybe with a pair off boots & mittens.
SD: 21 & SS: 17
BFP #2 6/3/2020
*Trigger Warning*
@WildMagelet I hope your SD doesn’t have it! If she’s negative will she be coming home? Also I really hope you don’t get it at work. 🤦🏻♀️😣 As for the announcement that sounds adorable and I love it! We haven’t announced yet either and MH wants us to announce after the anatomy scan. And I kind of want to keep hiding it. The upside to masks in my hometown where everyone knows everyone... 😆
SD: 21 & SS: 17
BFP #2 6/3/2020
*Trigger Warning*
Married May 2014
TTC # 2 Since December 2021
Baby girl W born 2/2021
Our journey so far...
(tw loss & infertility)
Working with an RE since March 2016
2 failed TI cycles
3 failed IUI cycles
IVF Feb - April 2017
23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal
Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17
BFP 4.21.17
MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17
Our adoption journey:
12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted!
5.1.19 Adoption on hold so we can buy a house!
1.1.20 Homestudy process started
3.14.20 First social worker visit
5.25.20 Homestudy Approved & Submitted to Agency
6.1.20 Surprise! Positive pregnancy test!
Healthy baby girl born 2/10/2021
In other news, I'm totally proud of myself for going to the Grocery Store and the Post Office this week. Pharmacy run tomorrow and I'll have 3 days in a row of post-work productive errands, lol.
SD: 21 & SS: 17
BFP #2 6/3/2020
*Trigger Warning*
Married May 2014
TTC # 2 Since December 2021
Baby girl W born 2/2021
Our journey so far...
(tw loss & infertility)
Working with an RE since March 2016
2 failed TI cycles
3 failed IUI cycles
IVF Feb - April 2017
23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal
Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17
BFP 4.21.17
MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17
Our adoption journey:
12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted!
5.1.19 Adoption on hold so we can buy a house!
1.1.20 Homestudy process started
3.14.20 First social worker visit
5.25.20 Homestudy Approved & Submitted to Agency
6.1.20 Surprise! Positive pregnancy test!
Healthy baby girl born 2/10/2021
I was in February BMB for my son and we moved over I think the week of Thanksgiving. That seems really soon though! Maybe because it’s slower in here so it still feels so new.
I’m guessing that some people are doing it because they like attention, so they pretend to be pregnant and get attention from people here. My feeling is that this is the majority of catfish here. Egotistical people who want attention and admiration no matter what the means to that.
I will say after being part of the adoption community on fb, there are people that will use bump pics to scam hopeful adoptive parents out of money and or time and attention.
Married May 2014
TTC # 2 Since December 2021
Baby girl W born 2/2021
Our journey so far...
(tw loss & infertility)
Working with an RE since March 2016
2 failed TI cycles
3 failed IUI cycles
IVF Feb - April 2017
23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal
Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17
BFP 4.21.17
MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17
Our adoption journey:
12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted!
5.1.19 Adoption on hold so we can buy a house!
1.1.20 Homestudy process started
3.14.20 First social worker visit
5.25.20 Homestudy Approved & Submitted to Agency
6.1.20 Surprise! Positive pregnancy test!
Healthy baby girl born 2/10/2021