Trying to Get Pregnant
mindyb2019
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TTCAL August 2020
mindyb2019
member
**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage, selective termination due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Status:
How are things going?
What is something that you are struggling with this week?
What is going well for you this week?
R/R?
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
Re: TTCAL August 2020
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 early losses (5 weeks in December '18, CP July '19) Diagnosed with unexplained IF and RPL.
Status: WFAF (quasi-benched last cycle prepping for IVF) I am 12dpo (I think) so hopefully CD is tomorrow or Monday.
How are things going? I am doing OK. Job searching has been a distraction. I do worry quite a bit that we won't get any viable embryos out of IVF and that is making me very anxious.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? the arrival of August reminds me that I should be celebrating my first angel's first birthday soon. Instead, we're still struggling with IF and have no answers about our losses. Both were too early and there was nothing they could test.
*TW LC mentioned*
What is going well for you this week? Hopefully I can start IVF injections soon and I'll feel like we're actually making progress toward our rainbow.
R/R? DH is being super sweet right now. He wants to drive me to all my ultrasound and blood work appointments so I don't feel like I am doing anything alone. He doesn't care that he can't come in the building because of COVID restrictions, he said he'll sit in the car and listen to the radio while he waits. I think he's also trying to make up for the fact that he forgot to submit the paperwork for the PGS testing for IVF and we had to redo it last week!
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope. We finished all our IF/RPL testing a year ago, hence the "unexplained" diagnosis. I do worry that there may be issues with my egg quality because both losses were CPs, but there's really no way to test that.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. - Early MC at 7 weeks Nov, 2019 and TFMR for T21, cystic hygroma, hydrops and a heart problems at 16 weeks July, 2020.
Status: WFAF- hopefully soon. FX
How are things going? Things are going ok. It’s been 3 weeks since I had my loss and I’m doing my best to move forward. I have good days and bad days, but overall I have been dealing with it a lot better then I thought.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? I miss my son so very much! I just struggle with each Thursday that goes by cause I would have been 19 weeks along this week and I would have had my big 20 week ultrasound coming up next Tuesday aug 4th and I was sooo looking forward to that one cause it’s very detailed and get to see so much. Sadly I’ve never ever made it that far yet.
What is going well for you this week? Well, I decided to POAS on Weds to see if my HCG hormones were going down and we’re down low enough to show the preg test negative. I was expecting to still see 2 lines on it but I was shocked when the test was negative. Yay! It’s only been 2.5 weeks at that point and my HCG has gone down that low so it no longer registers that I was PG. Never thought I would be soo happy to see a BFN. This means that my period should then start up again soon which I’m happy to get going quickly and restart my body and cycles.
R/R? I live in Canada and we have a long weekend this weekend Yay! Time off work. My DH and I have booked a mini vacation away alone together for a few nights. We leave tomorrow to a place called “ Whistler” it’s like a 3 hour drive from our house. It will be nice to get away together after all we have been through. We booked the executive suite at the Hilton hotel so we will have an in suite jetted jacuzzi tub 😉 alright lol. Going to drink some wine and champagne and go swimming and soak in the tub. We might go horse backing riding too. I’m looking forward to the distraction. Rant: I love my SIL and BIL but they just had a baby girl in Jan and she’s 6 months old now and they keep sending me pictures and videos of her learning to roll over etc and I just can’t even open their texts anymore or watch of the videos. I love my niece so much and she’s adorable but after losing my son 3 weeks ago, it just hurts my heart to see that right now. They don’t even have any idea what I’ve gone through lately or that I was pregnant. This sucks 😢
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope nothing!
@emeraldduchess girl!! Of course you can rejoin us here. Always ❤️ Sorry you are struggling with the arrival of August my friend. it’s tough.*hugs* I do hope you get some good viable embryos out of IVF. I have faith and hope you will. That’s so cute that your DH has been very sweet to you and wants to drive you around to your appts. Also, I’m sorry your worried about your SIL getting KU again and giving you a call about it. Family pregnancy announcements are the worst especially after you have had multiple losses and have no LC. It does suck. I agree and I don’t blame you for having that fear. I would too. Luckily I don’t have to hear that news anytime soon as my SIL just had a baby this Jan. I’m hoping you don’t get that dreaded call anytime soon.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
One loss, TFMR at 22 weeks about 6 weeks ago. Story in spoiler if you are interested, but definite trigger warning.
We hadn't yet said anything on social media, but everyone we knew in person knew I was pregnant. I was showing for 2 months, so even any patients I saw at that time knew. I constantly have to explain to people that we lost the baby, and that really just sucks.
I'm trying really hard at this point to hold my life together, but I miss her so much. Sometimes I still feel like I can feel her moving.
Status: WTO, but I think I will be self-benching this month.
How are things going? Trying to pick up the pieces of my life and be optimistic.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? I don't know what to wear. I gained about 20 lbs during the pregnancy and I have only lost about 7 so far. I won't wear maternity clothes anymore because it makes me too sad, but I can't fit in most of my pre-pregnancy clothes yet. I have to go in to work every day in business casual and I only have 4 shirts that fit. I know it is such a dumb thing to be worried about, but it just seems like yet another reminder about what I lost.
What is going well for you this week? I am getting better at talking about everything without crying. I am working with a therapist which has been really helpful and I am finding more often that I am able to feel genuinely happy about things.
R/R? I made some really delicious Indian food that was actually low enough in points that I can have it on weight watchers. Food has a definite ability to make me happy.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? The condition she had has about a 20% recurrence rate if it is not chromosomal, and we recently learned that it was definitely not chromosomal. The next round of genetic tests was supposed to be back already and it is not. The likelihood that these results would change what we do is low (the only result that would stop me from trying to conceive naturally is if this is something that we can test for in advance, in which case we would switch to IVF with preimplantation genetic testing), but I can't in good conscience try naturally until we have the results. This is why I'm probably self benching unless the results come back this week.
@mindyb2019 I am so sorry that you also had to go through this. I also had my weeks change on Thursdays, and it is really hard to stop counting them. I haven't taken a test yet, but I know I should just to be sure. I think I have been assuming that by 6 weeks it would definitely be down enough. I hope you have a good time at Whistler! I love it there, though I have only ever been in the summer.
@emeraldduchess I know I am late to this but I am so happy that you get to move forward with IVF! If I remember from around January you were worried that it wasn't going to be covered? I apologize if I am confusing that but either way I am glad that IVF is now in the works!
@mindyb2019 weird to be wishing for AF right? and i know you have so many milestones youll have to get through over the next 20 weeks. hopefully AF comes and TTC again can be a sight distraction
@fitzfizz thank you for sharing your story. im sure it is so hard to talk about, and while it wont feel better, it helps to be able to get through it without crying. well at least not crying every time. i still cry about it depending on who the conversation is with.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC December
Status: currently WTO (or i think today is O)
How are things going? overall okay. last cycle i just completely gave up because DH was worn out and i O'd later than expected. this time around, i was hoping to have more of a sense of urgency, but ive been so caught up in work i hardly do.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? work. ive been feeling overwhelmed because even as i try to delegate, i have to jump in at the final hour to fix things. i try to teach but i think they struggle a bit. i guess its true what they say, if you want something done right...
What is going well for you this week? ive been getting a TON of sleep. this weekend i slept in both mornings which was nice.
R/R? DH and i got a bowflex! put it together yesterday and i am excited to start working out.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? doc will be testing my progesterone after confirmed ovulation. so im looking forward(?) to that i guess. CD3 labs were fine which is good though
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: TFMR at 15 weeks for T21 and progressive cystic hygroma in Dec 2019; MMC also at 15 weeks in July 2020, so far unexplained. I guess I have a 15-week curse.
Status: WFAF, had a D&C (or E?) just about two weeks ago, and I think the bleeding finally stopped (or, at least, is so light it only pops up when I'm physically active)
How are things going? Ok? Seem to have more good/neutral moments than bad. In a way it feels like the most recent pregnancy and loss were just a good, then terrible, dream. There's a lot of bad things that happened since mid-June (miscarriage was just the rotten icing on the sh*t-cake), so it's going to take time to truly process it all.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? I need to work out, and have zero motivation to do so. It doesn't help that it's boiling outside with 90% humidity every d*mn day, so the last thing I want to do is do something like a walk. I'm generally not great an exercising, thinking up all sorts of excuses to skip it, but I hate my body (partially loss-related, but mostly I'm lazy and perpetually have 15-20lbs to lose) and need to do something to help me like it again.
What is going well for you this week? Weekend was nice, we finally invested in some games so we have something to do together that isn't watching TV. Also finally got our Nest thermostat installed (one of the wires going to the old thermostat was disconnected, so we needed someone to come out and figure out how to reconnect everything), we've had the crappy one hanging out of a hole in the wall for 4 months. Now we have a nice, new one hanging out of a hole in the wall until my husband gets around to fastening it to the wall.
R/R? Rants -- this weather. It looks so lovely out, but as soon as you walk outside it just saps everything out of you. At the same time I'm dying to get out of the house.
Raves -- My dad's a-fib seems to have mysteriously resolved itself, he's been out of it for almost two weeks now. Hemoglobin levels are also looking up, so he can probably restart the CML medications soon. Regarding our loss, all the doctors seem to be communicating very well with each other (my usual OB/GYN, the one who did the D&E, and then the MFM). They're across two different medical systems, so I know that it is sometimes a struggle to get them to communicate.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Karyotype on our most recent loss came back completely normal, including indicators for any sort of swapped/shortened chromosomes that he would have inherited from us. Getting a bunch of blood drawn to test for my hormones, infections, etc. when I go for my follow-up on Wednesday and then get results in a week or two to go over with the MFM.
@akoros If it helps, after my D&E I had some degree of bleeding for about 3 weeks, which got worse whenever I was active. It finally stopped when I basically sat around for an entire weekend without moving. I definitely get the feeling of it all seeming like a terrible dream. When it first happened I regularly had a feeling like I just needed to wake up and realize it was all a bad dream. Hugs
@mindyb2019 I've always wanted to go to Whistler (I love the Pacific NW in general, the other day I was fantasizing about a trip to the San Juan Islands for no reason), looks like you had a great trip!
@asf0613 I'm glad your blood test results have been good so far. It's nice to rule things out. I get what you mean about wearing your DH out! That's one of the worst things about TTC. After several days in a row of HIO it's exhausting! As soon as I can confirm O, DH is always like, "oh, thank goodness, we can take a break!"
@mindyb2019 hope you had a great time at Whistler! I’ve only been there in the winter but would love to visit in the summer, too. Such a cute town!
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Early miscarriage (5.5 weeks) after FET - July 2020
Status: WTO
How are things going? I’m super frustrated with my RE. She initially said we could transfer again right away (so this month) then said she wanted to redo a test because it’s been over a year (due to a communication error on her end a year ago) but could still be paired. Then the nurse said they can’t be paired, and the clinic is “full” for August anyway, and now no transfer until September. Their communication sucks. They keep saying one thing, then doing another.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? See above ^^. But also, since we are an “unexplained” case, I also feel like each cycle could work on our own, so each AF still hurts. Can you tell AF started yesterday? Sigh.
What is going well for you this week? Found out I was accepted to present at two virtual conferences in October! Should probably start writing those papers...
R/R? School is officially starting remotely here (I’m a teacher) so I get to keep WFH. Not gonna lie, I looove not driving in!
Any testing coming up/any recent results? OH exam next Thursday.
@halfanewt thanks. I've been to Whistler in the winter and summer. I like it in the summer. Its soo beautiful and such a cute little town. I'm sorry your frustrated with your RE. Congrats on being accepted to present at 2 virtual conferences in October. GL!
Hi everyone. I haven't posted to this board before, I hope it is ok that I join you.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. One early miscarriage at 5w3d September 2019, it was too early to do any testing so unknown
Status: WTO, well pretty sure today is O day
How are things going? Ok overall. Clomid was a bit rough, but it was largely ok. The OB has just started our workup, so it's been a little frustrating. I am torn between getting hopeful for this cycle (first one with Clomid) vs trying to not get excited so it doesn't hurt so much when AF shows up.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? All the babies everywhere. A good friend ended up delivering on my due date (May 7), and loves to send me pics and facetime to show me the baby. I am happy for her, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Another friend just delivered last week and I found myself shopping for more baby stuff that isn't for us.
What is going well for you this week? Work is going pretty well, it has been a fairly low stress week, which has been nice.
R/R? I guess my rave is that the Clomid (I'm pretty sure?) worked, and MH has been a rock through this.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I have a progesterone level check in a week
@emeraldduchess this is the first time I have read your story. I am so sorry for your losses. Ugh, why do people think sending you pictures of a baby after a loss will cheer you up?! YH sounds very sweet in driving you to all the appointment. FX that you are able to move forward with IVF soon.
@mindyb2019 I'm so sorry for your losses. I feel like waiting for the HCG to drop is the worst, because you want it to be negative so you can move forward, but you don't because it feels more real or final in some way (if that makes sense). That is so rough getting those texts, sending you lots of *hugs*. I hope you are able to enjoy the time and the champagne, you deserve a treat.
@fitzfizz this is the first time I have read your story, and my heart breaks for you. I'm glad you're able to talk about it more, and that you have shared with us. Sending you
@asf0613 I'm sorry for your loss. Haha HIO can really wear out DH, cant it? We self-benched one cycle because we just couldn't even. I hope you are able to get some rest at work soon. It can be exhausting when it all falls to you.
@akoros I am so sorry for everything you are going through. Sending
@halfanewt I'm sorry for your loss. Dealing with miscommunication is so frustrating! Like you're supposed to be the experts here, can you get it together. Congratulations on the presentations! I hope the manuscript writing goes smoothly.
Edited for typos.
@halfanewt congrats on that accomplishment! but boo to your RE. hopefully some resolution comes soon
@akoros hoping you get some answers soon. and that the good/neutral days always outweigh the bad
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. back-to-back CPs in March/April 2020
Status: WTO? WFAF?
How are things going? Mostly okay, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. This cycle is driving me nuts, and is looking like it will most likely be an-o unless it happens over the weekend. Currently on CD35, and I thought I O’d earlier this week but my temp went right back down to my normal pre-O temps. My RE wants me to call on Monday if nothing changes, and then they will try to jump-start my cycle.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? Things are actually looking up! I have general stress about the state of the world, but nothing in particular is really giving me too much trouble at the moment.
What is going well for you this week? I’ve been finding a lot of positivity from my IRL friends that I’ve been letting in to our story. It’s actually been so emotionally helpful to talk to more people about our losses and where we are at now. I also am feeling positive that we were able to come up with a plan with our RE this morning.
R/R? I’m trying so hard to enjoy the rest of summer before I head back to work in September. August is hard when you work in education! But DH and I have a beach day planned for next week and a full beach week scheduled at the end of the month, so it’ll be nice to get to my happy place.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? We had an appointment with our RE today to talk about all the testing we did this cycle. My TSH came back at 4.0, so I started taking levothyroxine which will hopefully even that out. My prolactin was also high which they will retest whenever I get my period, and I tested positive for cardiolipin antibodies. He thinks that all of this could be why the CP’s happened. So we are going to take one more month (once I get my period) to try with those changes, then will try Clomid and an IUI. I’m excited for the plan but super anxious about it as well and I’m not sure why! We decided to give it one more try naturally since we will most likely be away during the time my RE would want to be monitoring me. I think it’ll be good to give me some extra time to wrap my mind around it too.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Late to the party here I took a little break since I got benched for July. Two total losses, latest in June. Luckily no accompanying conditions, just some bad luck.
Status: I think today I ovulated, so I am just cruising into the TWW.
How are things going?
Things are going alright, our timing looked good this month and my body seems to be back to what is normal for me, so fingers crossed!
What is something that you are struggling with this week?
I am in a good spot this week, so there’s nothing specific I am struggling with and for that I’m thankful!
What is going well for you this week?
Some (what I think was) good timing with BD before ovulation, and I finally started lifting and running again after a very, very long hiatus!
R/R?
This qualifies for both - my 8 year olds will go to 3rd grade virtually until things get better (a decision of the school district for everyone). Thrilled that I can sigh with relief that they won’t be exposed to COVID at school, and equally horrified that I am in charge of helping them with their virtual learning while working FT from home.
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
Nope!
Almost all my test results have come back (hemoglobin A1C, vitamin D, RPR, thyroid panel, parvovirus B19, CMV, APA, SARS-COV-2), so far all are normal/negative, but I guess I did have a parvovirus infection at some point in the past (I have antibodies, but not a recent/current infection, unless I'm misreading the report). Still waiting on Factor V, I think. Particularly disappointed that I don't have SARS-COV-2 antibodies, would have been great if I had a completely asymptomatic infection and generated antibodies. Now is just the question...where to go from here? It's great that nothing is wrong with me, but increasingly means that we'll probably not get answers as to what happened this time around, just more bad luck.
@akoros regular test results are such a double edged sword. I’m glad nothing seems to be seriously wrong, but sorry that you may not get the answers you were hoping for.
@akoros I am sorry you didn't get any definitive answers from your test results. It can be so frustrating to hear "it's just bad luck", but I am glad that nothing is seriously wrong. Sending you hugs.
It’s now 7wks post D&C and still no period. I maaay have ovulated about 2ish weeks ago (based on CM). So I should have had my period by now. Tests are BFN.
I’m so worried that I have Ashermans syndrome (intra-uterine adhesions) that will lower fertility or render me infertile. I don’t want to go through more months or no period, 6 months of trying to get pregnant and failing, or another miscarriage.
I see my OBGYN on Monday (8wks post op) to start exploring what’s happening.
Has anyone else experienced these complications, long time without period, or Asherman’s syndrome and still ended up having a normal/healthy pregnancy and baby?
I’m totally freaked out and completely preoccupied.
Just to add to our similarity-- I had an MVA and then had some questionable retained product and had to do a course of misoprostol to completely expel the pregnancy. My hormone levels were much higher than yours even weeks afterward-- in the 2000's. They were not actually sure if I was pregnant again or just retaining hormones, but the level steadily dropped so it was clear it was just a really long process of my body rebalancing. It's possible the double procedure added to the prolonged hormones for both of us, I'm really not sure. The stories of random strangers on the internet are obviously no substitute for medical advice, but I thought maybe knowing someone else had gone through it would be helpful.
BFP 11/30/2017 | MMC 12/31/2017
BFP 6/22/2018 | CP 6/27/2018
BFP 10/5/2018 | EDD 6/14/2019
Baby girl born 6/19/19
TTC #2 May 2020-November 2021
BFP 7/18/2020 | MonoDi Twins | MMC 9/10/2020
BFP 11/7/2020 | CP 11/9/2020
RE Consult January 2021 | Dx "borderline DOR"/RPL
IVF with PGT:
Standard Antagonist:
ER #1 3/27/2021 7R | 5M | 3F | 2B | 1 PGT-A Normal, 1 low-level mosaic
ER #2 4/22/2021 10R | 7M | 3F | 2B | 0 normal, 2 aneuploid
ER #3 5/19/2021 2R | 1M | 0F
Estrogen Priming Antagonist:
ER #4 7/10/2021 5R | 4M | 3F | 1B | 1 PGT-A Normal
Duostim (Standard Antagonist):
ER #5 9/22/2021 13R | 11M | 8F | 5B | 2 PGT-A Normal, 1 low-level mosaic, 2 aneuploid
ER #6 10/9/2021 9R | 6M | 4 F | 1B | 1 aneuploid
FET #1 11/5/2021 | EDD 7/24/2022
Baby boy born 7/19/22
TTC #3 since May 2023 (ntnp)
IVF Started Fall 2023 (Standard Antagonist)
ER #7 10/6/2023 | 9R | 6M | 5F | 3B | 2 aneuploid, 1 high-level mosaic
ER #8 10/31/2023 | 5R | 4M | 3F | 1B | 1 PGT-A Normal
FET #2 11/27/23 | CP (bHCG = 8)
FET #3 planned Jan 2024
Backstory:
I'm still around these boards, but don't participate much anymore because I got an IUD put in a year ago and am trying to determine if we're 'done' with TTCAL or if we're going to give it another go after being benched for a bit. I have unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss, having had 5 miscarriages. I've seen my OB, 2 RE's, a MFM specialist, and my crunchy hippy friend who made me some teas. After MC number 5, I put the IUD from hell that over a year later still causes me pain and twinges and issues that it probably shouldn't. My special snowflake sister got KU a month after her wedding (had to have been either 1st or 2nd cycle trying) and had a super easy PG with no complications or issues what so ever, producing a living baby a month or so ago. Her doctor wants to see me, because despite having a boatload of testing, I apparently never had a Factor 5 Test, and she thinks she can help me.
TL:DR
Has anyone ever had a test for Factor V Leiden Miscarriage? Know anything about it? Tips/ideas/etc.? I've read a few scholarly things, but some (especially one I'd love to read) are behind a paywall. Le sigh. Is this a possibility or is it another BS search?
Anyway, sorry to barge in, but would appreciate any knowledge you wonderful ladies have!
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: First loss was at 18 weeks in Oct 2018, no explanation; 6-week loss in Jan 2019, followed by many CPs since then. Have been working with a Reproductive Immunolgoist since Nov 2019: she identified that I had high natural killer cell levels and activity: very likely that my body attacks pregnancies as if the embryo is a foreign invader. I need multiple meds to put my immune system back in balance.
Status: TWW, then starting my first-ever egg retrieval/IVF if we aren’t KU naturally right now.
How are things going? Ok. I feel very positive about moving to IVF, and I also feel very healthy overall. But I’ve had many subconscious fears about getting PG in general. I’m worried that doing egg retrieval might prove that my egg quality is terrible and we might do all of this & spend all this money to get no embryos; I’m worried about how tough PG is on my body (I faint, have heart palpitations, etc) & whether my fear of that is keeping me from being able to hang onto a PG; I worry about another loss after already showing; I worry that my age will really determine that we are at the end of this TTC road. I’ve been doing meditations to positively align my mind & body, but the fears continue to creep in. That’s why I’ve finally come back to this thread: I need to face these fears & think them through & not just shove them to the back of my mind.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? See above.
What is going well for you this week? I’ve been kicking booty w work. But I’ve also been sitting a lot for online work & meetings, plus sleeping very little, so need to change that up quick!
R/R? Just glad to have this safe space on the internet to interact w people & share all the ups & downs that come w TTC
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I’ve had every test under the sun. I do bi-weekly bloodwork for my Reproductive Immunologist to monitor my immune stuff, so that’s on Monday. MH’s genetic testing & additional sperm analysis results came today: all normal. So the mystery remains with me!
I got through what would have been my first angel's would-be birthday without any tears. A lot of my friends saw rainbows after a storm the day before and posted the pictures online, so my Facebook feed was literally flooded with rainbows. That was awesome.
@halfanewt yes, the "unexplained" diagnosis is such a double-edged sword. Yes, it's good to know there are no giant red flags but at the same time you want definite answers. My RE is very frank with me about how "unexplained" is incredibly common and it doesn't mean it's going to be an easier road than if you had a specific diagnosis of something like a blocked tube or PCOS. I'm sorry the communication at your RE's office is so lousy. You'd think they would be extra cautious because people have to follow specific protocols for treatment. They screw up the consequences could be awful.
@runningoncookies August is just one looooooong Sunday night for us educators, isn't it? I hope your district has its head on straight about reopening. I'm still applying and interviewing places after my school was permanently closed and every single district has a different plan. This is going to be absolute insanity. My state also wants to make flu shots mandatory for all students, which of course has a lot of parents in an uproar.
@akoros I am so sorry you still don't have a definite answer.
@capnjackharkness uuuggghhh, that IUD trouble sounds miserable. I'm SO sorry you have to deal with that on top of everything else you have been through. I agree with @keikilove, that testing would definitely be worth looking into! I don't believe I have been tested for it either. If my IVF is unsuccessful or if I have another loss, I am going to ask my RE about it.
@bbrahmbhatt ooof, the shopping for other people's LOs really sucks sometimes. I knit and crochet, and while I love making baby gifts for others, there's definitely that feeling of "will I ever get to make things for my own LOs??". *TW* LC mentioned
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Hi. I was on TTGP June/ July but never joined here until now. I will reintroduce myself tomorrow on the newbie thread. I have had for losses. Two mmc around 8 weeks along Nov 2011 and June 2012. I then had a 2nd trimester loss at 20 weeks due to a clot in the umbilical cord Aug 2013. On this past Thursday night I miscarried naturally at 7+6.
Status: finishing the process. Have ultrasound on 9-4 to confirm completion. So, benched.
How are things going? Staying busy. I believe I'm handling it better than DW. I don't know if she's more upset at the loss or that I ended up going through another loss. (My previous three were from my previous marriage, which ultimately ended the marriage as he had given up on having kids.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? I feel like I haven't given this baby the proper amount of grieving/ respect.
What is going well for you this week? I feel okay.... I'm just ready to jump back on the bandwagon and try again.
R/R? See above
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Getting hcg levels tested to see where they are at tomorrow.
@fitzfizz, I'm so sorry. Hopefully it's just a fluke and you're not carriers (though that's a mild comfort, I know).
@capnjackharkness I just got tested for Factor V Leiden as part of my RPL panel, and they found that I'm heterozygous (one gene is mutated, not both). It's fairly common (~5% of Caucasians have it), and unless you present other clotting risk factors or have a history of clots it's not something overly concerning for your own health. However, it it associated with a higher risk of miscarriage, particularly after 10 weeks. Like @keikilove said, the treatment is baby aspirin as soon as you know you're pregnant, and maybe injectable blood thinners like heparin/Lovenox. The research is a bit mixed on whether this actually helps or not, so for me she's not recommending the injectables since I have zero personal and family history of blood clots, but will prescribe them if I ask her to. I'm also frustrated that they don't test for stuff like this until you've had a couple (or more) losses. The only reason I could find for that is $$$ (insurance companies don't want to pay for it), which just makes me angry.
@keikilove I hear you on not wanting your loss to define you. After my first loss I wanted to move on and more or less forget it ever happened, not really telling many people about it. I found it wound up just making it harder on myself, so this time around I'm doing a 180 and trying to talk about it more.
@Kenneylynn3 Welcome, and I'm so sorry for your losses.
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Here's my update:
Had the appointment with my MFM to go over the test results. I'd already seen them, so it wasn't overly surprising, but as I mentioned before the only thing that really came back "abnormal" was my Factor V and Protein C (which was the flag for the Factor V) results. The doctor talked me through what that was, though she insists that she doesn't think this is what caused our loss. I don't really understand/buy her reasoning, tbh. Basically she said it's fairly common to have Factor V Leiden, so we'd be seeing more miscarriages if it really increased your risk that much. I get that, but also the disorder doesn't guarantee a miscarriage, just increases your risk (admittedly this risk is still low, in the grand scheme of things), so I don't understand why she's dismissing it so easily. It doesn't really matter, as she still suggested the baby aspirin and will prescribe heparin/lovenox if I want it, but threw me back into an anxiety spiral about an unexplained diagnosis. I didn't realize how much I was clutching on to the Factor V result as the "reason", so to have that take away quickly progressed in my head to "I'll never be able to have children," and a funk that lasted two days.
In talking to my mother, I found out that when I was born the doctor told her to never get pregnant again. My parents didn't think to ask why so weren't given or reason (or were and then forgot), but I'm kind of curious. Her pregnancy was difficult, with bleeding both early on and later in the pregnancy, and then she was put on bed rest at 7 months because of early labor (I was born a month early). They got married when she was 20 and I wasn't born until she was 32, despite not using birth control, and then it never happened again. I always assumed she was on birth control, but apparently she only took it for a year or two after I was born, per the doctor's advice, but it gave her horrible migraines so she stopped. Anyway....just something I found interesting. I'm curious as to what it could have been, but there's no way to really know now.
Beyond that, still waiting on my period (just about at 5 weeks post-D&C). I had a dream last night that it came, which I'm hoping is prophetic. *TMI* There was some brown blood this morning when I wiped, more than there had been a few days ago (I feel so weird obsessively checking the paper when I go to the bathroom), so here's hoping that it's on its way.
Also, yes. IUD is terrible. Apparently I'm in the *small percent* of people who had extreme pain for WEEKS when it got put in, and still get some pain/cramps regularly as it adjusts to my body. Cause of course MY hostile uterus is the special snowflake exception in a negative way. (Was also SUPER helpful that for the first 2 weeks when I was bleeding and cramping to death that my mother kept saying "I had 2 IUDs and never any pain. YOu must have a serious issue!" and then I'd call my OB-GYN and she was like "This is normal, but unfortunately it's only a small percentage of people that have this much pain, and with your previous issues, I didn't focus on it as much. But it should calm down in a few weeks or so." FYI, it took like 6+ weeks to calm down. It's much better now, but not 'great' as everyone claims it will be. Stupid body. But seeing as they won't give me a hysterectomy and I don't want a period, and we needed some time after MC #5 to just exist for a while, I'm dealing with it...
@keikilove I'm sorry for all of your losses and your struggles with how you want to emotionally situate yourself with them. We all know I'm 'loud and proud' (more like 'loud and in-your-face') about mine, but I know that's not for everybody so I hope you can figure out what works for you (which can change, as how you emotionally process these things evolves over time)! I know I felt different emotions, and felt differently about how I wanted to define myself or advocate for MC/RPL knowledge, after each subsequent MC. Just be careful because although we all process and handle things differently, ignoring big feelings about this could suddenly cause a big dinosaur that wants to roar its' head later! I'm glad you're hopeful for IVF and feeling good about moving down that path on your TTC journey! Fingers crossed.