May 2020 Moms

Transition to non-public group

13

Re: Transition to non-public group

  • I'm neutral about the idea of a PG and I certainly wouldn't mind one as an intermediate step. I'll second @sunshinesea22 and @shamrocandroll's suggestions.
    DD #1: April 2017
    DD #2: May 2020
    Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022

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  • +1 to in general agreeing with @sunshinesea22 and @shamrocandroll
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

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  • I'm also neutral with a PG first, but I would like to go to PG before babies are born if that's the route we are going to take (mid March sounds pretty good to me). Ultimately, I would like to move to FB shortly after babies are born. 
  • Okay. Right now the poll is showing 10 to 9 PG over FB, so I totally agree w/ @sunshinesea22 and @shamrocandroll but I'm going to let the poll sit for a few more days before i make a new one just because i said in the post i would keep it up for a week (unless anyone has major issues with that plan). Either way, sounds like Feb 1st timing is early per most people's opinions, so next poll will be a date. 
  • I'd love to be more involved here but the app is a nightmare on my phone for some reason.  I can rarely open a thread, let alone comment on one.  I'd be 100% ready for a FB group for that reason alone. 
    a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1af753.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a

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  • Anyone having troubles with the app should really first try logging into the website on your phone via chrome or safari. See if that suits you better. 
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I absolutely would participate more on FB.  My first BMB I think transitioned to FB around 2 months before most due dates.  I was a lot more visible on TB at that point (FTM and all), and I have a feeling that I won't been "recognized" if there's a vetting prior to an FB switch.  For me at this point TB is just another thing to check, and while I do quite a bit of reading and keeping up, it is way too much of a pain to tag and post when I even have a minute to do so.
    Me: 36 DH: 37
    Married May 2013
    TTC #1: April 2016 (Mirena removed March 2016 after 2.5 years)a
    BFP #1: 10/14/16 - DD born 6/2017  <3
    TTC #2 November 2018 (Mirena removed October 2018 after 1 year)
    BFP #2 9/11/19 - EDD 5/24/20 - DD born 5/2020 <3
    TTC #3 May 2022 (Mirena removed after almost 2 years)
    BFP #3 11/24/23 - EDD 7/30/24


  • @sevenn i think this is another good reason to extend the "deadline" out a few weeks, so people that want to be a part of a private group (TB or FB) will have a chance to interact and be vetted appropriately.

    I think all of us need time here and there to step away and connect with our real lives of course, and in my DS1 FB group it's pretty common to take a proclaimed "hiatus" when needed, but it's harder to do that in a group that still has so many people who leave and never come back. And even now, 3+ years later, we will kick people out of the group who go 1 month with no participation. The goal is to share and support each other, so I think with that in mind participation is key. This is all to say, for those of you saying you want to be part of a FB group and see the benefits, it's definitely important to try and keep up here a bit! I know it's hard, but post and support when you can. 
  • @pourmeanothermocktail
    That's what I do because the app was wonky. Opening the page in chrome works fine for me. The only bummer is I can't get the "notifications" of when I'm tagged unless I'm on an actual computer. 

  • How is this vetting process done? 

    I guess just like any app or social media just because someone is super active doesn't make them legit. Some people are really great at pretending(even in person) to be someone they are not. Just a thought...not sure if anyone else feels this way 🤷‍♀️
  • @m6agua Just found the example vetting process. Thank you, that is helpful for understanding the process.
  • Just throwing another thought in, as much as I like connecting and participating, I’ll never post photos of my face or kids on TB, private group or otherwise. I also don’t post photos of my kids on FB outside of my own profile which is restricted to private. So my point is that I think any vetting process should take people’s personal boundaries into account and figure out a balance. 

    Also I don’t agree it’s bs to find the app inconvenient and limiting. Facebook is very easy to tag and reply to individual people in sub threads. I can put a lot into a fb group if I’m sitting in my car waiting for my husband for 10 minutes. On tb, even in a browser I spend way more time reading through 50 replies to see if someone’s question was answered and by that point don’t remember who to tag to reply to. Im a third time mom (at home with both kids full time) and have a lot to offer in the way of support and advice for others but sitting and making a list of usernames or going back and forth between apps just doesn’t work well for me. Good for you if you can do that though. 

    I guess it depends what the leaders decide they want this group to be. 




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  • @brettanomyces 100% to each their own. I'm a third time SAHM too and don't have time to look up all the tags all the time. I do a lot of quoting and multiple posts to reply to many people at once. But, whatever works for whomever.

    But, if you're never interested in sharing your name or photos with any part of this group, which is your own prerogative, it sounds to me like you don't have a need of a more personal private group to get to know people more. If you aren't comfortable letting people know more about you, then they won't be comfortable sharing with you. So there are plenty of other, non-private-group options for you to connect at your level of comfort with internet strangers. 

    The whole idea of a private group is a safer space for those who DO want to exchange more personal info.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @ruby696 You're stuck with me no matter what!  😘
    **TW**
    Me: 35 | H: 40
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS1: Nov 11, 2016 <3
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19
    DS2: May 10, 2020 <3


  • @shamrocandroll I'm just here to say I read through that thread and that is straight up CRAZY! You were all pretty nice about it though
  • I don’t think I would be able to trust any group to not have catfish, no matter how much vetting there is. It’s still the internet. In Facebook groups people can see my name and face obviously but then that limits how much personal info I share because you just never know. I’ve seen moms share things in groups they thought were safe and it blows up in their personal life. It’s happened to me. So no, you’re wrong to say that I have no use for a private space, I just don’t trust that they really exist. So that’s why my vote was for a Facebook group. I think it’s easier on that platform to investigate people and decide accordingly how much info you’re comfortable sharing with those group members. 




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  • My D15 FB group is private and unsearchable so I feel like it would be pretty difficult for any stranger to find their way in.  I feel much more comfortable sharing more on my D15 group than I do on my personal profile. Also just because you're in the FB group doesn't mean everyone has access to your personal profile (depending on your privacy settings). I'm FB friends with some people from my D15 group, but not everyone. 

    @m6agua I feel like all those things you listed are exactly why the bump is so inconvenient.

    But again, I don't have any problem with moving to a private board first if the end goal is moving to FB after the vetting process.
  • @chewie5990 In theory, the strangers are in here already and follow us to a private group, not just happen upon it randomly later.  Hence why vetting is so important.  I'm not anti-FB, but there's no way to make your profile pic private and at the very least, that has my face and real name.  From there, people can Google and easily find your address if they know what state you live in (which we've all shared here).  That's why I think the mid-step is so important.  It doesn't have to be a long, drawn out mid-step, but to me, it's a necessary one.  
    **TW**
    Me: 35 | H: 40
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS1: Nov 11, 2016 <3
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19
    DS2: May 10, 2020 <3


  • @jrouge12 Not creepy - @shamrocandroll has seen my full picture in a private setting. I think that's the benefit of feeling like you've had time to really get to know people first. I spent 2+ years in TTGP (never posted a personal picture), but did have lots of time to get to know people over there. The more time you interact, the better able you are to see when someone is being inconsistent or misleading. Then you can decide if you want to take a chance and trust them.  
  • **TW**
    Me: 35 | H: 40
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS1: Nov 11, 2016 <3
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19
    DS2: May 10, 2020 <3


  • @shamrocandroll thanks for the rabbit hole with the catfish link.  Now I'll never get any work done today lol
  • @shamrocandroll thanks for that rabbit hole! It took me an hour to read through it in between playing listening exercises for my AP Music Theory class. Dayum. What ended up happening? Did she leave?
  • If anyone is really bored and wants a good catfish story go on D13 and search for Frankie...lord have mercy that was a doozy and it took us a long time to find out just how much she lied about. 
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