@pocketrose I'm another +1 for positive birthing experience! My husband is definitely the better housekeeper lol.. well he's a more frequent housekeeper anyway. I do a better job, but way less often than him. My mom never says anything to me about the state of my house because she's known me my whole life and would not expect anything else (much to her chagrin) lol. Anyway, I hope your day flies by!
Why does Taco Bell have to sound so good when you’re pregnant but then feel not so good later?!? I’m always craving it these days then regretting it later but it doesn’t stop me the next time 🤷🏻♀️
We just got our HelloFresh for the week and I’m so excited to not have to think about dinner for at least 3 nights! We were skeptical but pleasantly surprised by how much we enjoyed the free ones so I am working it into the grocery budget for the next 3 weeks then we will go from there.
@hbird0723 oh we used to do HelloFresh quite often when I went back to work after mat leave. It was definitely nice not to think about what to make for dinner/pick up groceries. We also always had a ton of leftovers. I cancelled our subscription for awhile but they just sent me a 50% off coupon to come back. Might need to do it just for an easy week!
@hbird0723@coffeeandcookies84 love the meal delivery services! We’ve done Hello Fresh, Blue Apron, Sunbasket, and Green Chef. I got gung ho about using those free boxes and thought I scheduled them well but hubby and I nearly died when 3 boxes were delivered on the same day (diff companies). Totally messed up my calendar planning that week! We ended up cooking a few for lunches and freezing some stuff. 😂 But other than warning against that, I think they’re great. Blue Apron is still my favorite but they all are worth experimenting.
Just PSA for anyone that is looking for baby carriers lillebaby has a good sale going on right now for a lot of their complete all seasons. Like 55% off. I just bought this(spoiler) for $65 (also excited cause this is my first actual baby purchase 😂)
@coffeeandcookies84 it will be hard to give it up after the 3 weeks... thankfully DH loves it so I’m hoping he votes to keep it for a while longer! After the baby is here I think we will have to definitely order again if we aren’t then!
@rachelredhead we were just talking about trying Blue Apron and oh no but also too funny about getting them all at once because that’s something that would happen to us as well. I wonder if they were just so excited to impress 😄 I’m going to have to tell DH about Blue Apron!
@nursejenn5 currently trying to talk DH into being okay with me getting one We just (today) dropped $400 on getting the dogs teeth cleaned, so it's not the greatest timing. I'm trying to explain how I can sell my Tula and almost pay for it lol
I just did one of those chats with a customer service person, and as the chat was wrapping up, I told him I hope the rest of his day goes well. His response? "Thank you, yours too, and have a great weekend!" He got me all excited for a second thinking it was close to the end of the week. Nope, still Tuesday.
Thanks everyone re: annoying moms and positive birth experiences. I'm a bad combination of very direct except when scared/nervous and then I'm too quiet, scared shitless about being immobile/confined to a bed, deeply uncomfortable with being seen in a state of undress by anyone but H, afraid of vomiting in labor (somehow the 1st trimester goddesses smiled upon me and I was never really sick), and have a very, very, hyper direct H who I have told not to yell at nurses because that would make me more upset. So I'll take all the positive birth stories I can get, I feel like starting now will make it so I'm not even more of a wreck day of.
@pocketrose for you, I'd highly recommend writing out your birth plan. And, maybe, write out what you want to say if challenged. Like a lot of people, I can be much more articulate about something if it's not the heat of the moment, or not my situation to deal with and I'm just giving advice. I clam up when it's for me and would tend to be easily steamrolled too.
@pocketrose from a labor RN's perspective.. (but also a FTM, so if you want you can ignore all this, i wish i had personal experience, but I do have 100s and 100s of indirect experience that patients have come back and said it was a good experience.) If you are low risk and just in regular labor, there is no evidence supporting being confined to a bed. Most places should have some sort of portable or wireless monitoring (even if just in your room on a birthing ball or in the tub, or up walking hallways etc) that make it so you shouldn't be in bed at all times. Also, unless needing certain medications or again, high risk pregnancy/labor, evidence also DOES NOT support continuous monitors for mom or baby. Ask about it, we have policies where I work that allow us to listen to baby every so often in these instances, and most of our staff is willing to accommodate, but also things can change that cause things to change game plan. If you are planning on an epidural, ask your nurse to help you move around in bed! You should be turned into a different position at least every 30minutes-1 hour(if baby is tolerating it), and this can help labor along, so win-win. Tell them you're uncomfortable with showing much of anything, labor RN's really trying to keep things under wraps at all times when able.. But we often forget this if things change, (because to us a vagina is like a hand..) But also prepare yourself, sometimes we really do need to rip off the covers to help move you around, AND it is impossible to keep you covered when you're pushing. Ask for anti nausea meds for the vomiting thing, they'll help early on. But in active labor generally puking can be a part of the process (thanks hormones). But vomiting is also usually a sign you're close to transition, and is the best pushing your body will do.
For all this, if its super important to you and you feel like you wont be able to advocate for yourself, or your husband wont, then write it down and give it to your labor team! (RNs generally scoff at birth plans, because some people make really unrealistic ones that are not appropriate for their labor situation. but if I have a patient with one, i do like to go over it in depth with them and try to follow it as closely as I can)
Which one should I get??? I think the denim blue color with stars would be good b/c you wouldn't see stains and dirt as much... but I wonder if the white with gray would have a better resale value if I can keep it clean. Thoughts?? (pic in spoiler)
@Pascal86 That's so nice of you! I threw a last-minute shower for a coworker at my house a while back when none of her friends offered to throw her one, and it was still awesome! I did a few crockpot meals and a quick taco bar, made some cupcakes, and we played a few games like "What's in your purse" and "Match the Celebrity Baby Name to the Celebrity Parent."
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@pocketrose I'm not saying it will definitely be the same for you, but I think a lot of those fears will go away on their own as you get closer to term and just want the baby out. And in the throes of labor, you'd be surprised at what you no longer care about. I am a very modest person normally, but once I was in active labor, I didn't care at all about the nurse seeing me mostly naked. At one point when I got out of the tub and back into bed because I was at 9.5 cm, she asked if I wanted my gown back on. My response was, "you've seen it all at this point, I don't care anymore." Everyone else who will be in the room with you is a professional and I promise you don't have anything they've not seen before. I ended up with a lot of staff in the room as I was pushing, and I can assure you that the last thing on my mind at that point was my modesty. I think you'll surprise yourself with how primal you'll get at that point. At least that was my experience.
@modoodles 1. I accidentally wrote you as "monoodles" and now I want noodles hahaha. 2. I agree with @MrsTiger123 and a lot of the others. If you agreed, I'd keep that trust. Orrrr if you know you'll take it to your grave, you could still do it but if you think you'd eventually let it slip (now or after baby is born), then I think that would make your partner really sad.
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
remember how I ate Taco Bell, knowing I'd probably get heartburn but just planning to go home early if that happened and it was really bad? Joke's on me. It's 4:45pm and the heartburn is starting to kick in
@nursejenn5 I saw Lille's sale yesterday but really tried to not think of it too much because I already have 5 plus a wrap and can't justify another. But that 55% off is really tempting
@blaf322 I would go with stars in our eyes.... Etch is pretty but like the other one better...
Another +1 for an uncomplicated, not traumatizing at all birth story for when we get around to sharing! I like @blaf322 's suggestion about writing out and practicing what you might say. I'm sure the ladies on here will have lots of good suggestions.
Woah, I missed a lot! Work was slammed today, so I missed my usual opportunities to mindlessly scroll through my phone/check this app.
@nursejenn5 I have a feeling we’ll have a lot of questions for you as we get further along and closer to delivery! You may regret revealing your occupation 😂
@hbird0723 we’ve been using Home Chef for about the last month, since I just can’t get it together to come up with meal ideas/cook and DH works late. They have oven ready meal options that are really easy and convenient!
I’m so down for a positive birth story thread! Since having DS, I’ve become so so interested in the whole process of birth, so I love hearing other people’s experiences.
@blaf322 that is a cruel joke! I’ve been noticing since getting it regularly that it seems to hit 3-4 hours after we eat if it’s going to happen. It’s so weird and always right when I want to go to bed. Also, I like the blue star one too. I’d probably have the other dirty the first 2 seconds I had it on!
@kristinl492 I’ve never heard of that one. I’ll have to look into it!
So I’m really irritated with my MIL. She keeps making comments like I’m going to do something ****TW****to lose this baby. I mean I know she’s probably just worried because we lost our last one so I get being worried about that but don’t make comments that make me feel like I did something for it to happen. She’s like you need to not lift that 20lb object or you’re going to lose this baby. You need to be careful! 🙄 For one the girls weigh more than that and seriously? Also, I’m pretty sure there wasn’t anything I did that hurt the baby last time. ***TW over*** Then today I offered to spray her carpet with a disinfectant because our dog has something that could be passed to my SIL’s dog even though she’s already need around him before we knew and he hasn’t been using the leg it’s on but I still get it and wouldn’t want her to get it it’s just she’s acting like she needs to hire a cleaner and the vet said just any disinfectant. So I offer to do this since it’s our dog and she says you can’t be using chemicals it will hurt the baby. Really? Cos you never wiped a counter or cleaned a bathroom while pregnant and there are safer disinfectants I can use. Ugh I dunno I’m just frustrated by all the unfiltered comments lately!
I loved giving birth both times, and often describe it as being super fun. But I don’t usually just throw that out there, because I feel like that’s super annoying or insensitive to people who had traumatic births or something. And also I love doctor appointments and being in the hospital, which I don’t think is how most people feel (my mom is a doctor so I attribute it to that - I always just feel very safe and taken care of - but maybe I’m just a crazy person).
I also had a lot of nurses and doctors act so relieved when I didn’t have a birth plan either time, and they all said that people just set themselves up for disappointment when they do. However, I did have an idea of what my preferences would be in any potential situation, and I think thinking through that stuff was really helpful - you could probably call it a plan. Like, I knew I’d just wait and see if I needed pain management with no idea ahead of time whether I would, but that if I did want it, I’d want to go straight to an epidural and skip morphine or gas. And no real specifics if I needed a c-section, just acknowledging it always is a possible necessity and that I’d be okay with it if need be. I have a friend who planned a home birth and needed an emergency c-section and then essentially had to grieve the loss of the birth she hoped for (her baby was born healthy and safely). Which I think is totally valid and makes sense, but being too sure ahead of time about something that’s pretty unpredictable can set you up for more emotional distress than you’d have otherwise.
@hbird0723 That would really piss me off about your MIL. I'm sure she doesn't realize the impact her statements are having.... but it's rude. Maybe your H can tell her to lay off if it gets really bad or you're feeling like it's just too much.
@hbird0723 wtf to your MIL?? Those comments are uncalled for. I feel like if I had experienced what you did and then someone made those comments to me I would be really upset. Not cool.
@Pascal86 I like going to the doctor too! I find it all fascinating. I also did not have a birth plan per se. My plan was basically that I wanted to do whatever would leave us with a healthy baby and healthy mom. But I was lucky enough to have an uncomplicated experience, so maybe if I'd had a bad experience I would feel more strongly about having preferences and something written out this time. I also know people who went into it with these dealbreakers and then shit hit the fan and they ended up being very disappointed in the experience. Some things are out of our control and you have to put a lot of trust in your medical providers which is scary, but necessary at times.
@hbird0723 I would've punched your MIL right in the mouth. That is so incredibly insensitive. I'm sorry you're having to deal with her comments, and I agree I think maybe YH should say something to her. I'm sure she doesn't realize the impact her words are having, so perhaps he needs to point it out.
It's lovely to hear everyone's generally positive birth stories/snippets. I think I'm freaked out because I have 1 good friend whose story I partially know which included a 26 hour labor, 2 epidurals (neither of which worked), nurses planning the weeks schedule in her room while she was pushing, and a male doctor who "oh this shouldn't hurt this much" to her while she was in labor. I think I'll probably have a birth plan but maybe I'll call it something like a birth proposal or suggestion or whatnot that basically says "hi I'm super nervous please get this baby earthside in the least terrible way".
@pocketrose I had a pretty low key positive birth experience with DS. I think it's good to hear those too! I'd love to do a birth story thread at some point. I liked reading the ones from STM+ on my other BMB.
Question: Anyone have allergies? What do you take for them? Mine have been a whole lot worse the last few weeks and I am miserable.
@pocketrose the hospital I used referred to them as "birth preferences" instead of a "birth plan." Like, this is what I would prefer in a perfect world, but I realize it may not happen exactly like this. I think that terminology can help, especially for "planners" like me.
My daughter gave me her cold and it's kicking my ass. Sitting here mouth breathing at work because my nose is too plugged up, and I'm pretty sure I look like this right now.
@stlbuckeye132 ahahaha that gif is also me basically over the last two months. Straight up mouth breather. It's embarrassing during meetings where I'm scared I sound like that kid from Hey Arnold just breathing loudly behind people... some may not get that reference lol.
Also I couldn't think of a good embarrassing story when I did our group's check-in but finally thought of one. I started my current job when DD was about four months old so I was pumping and still kind of new to it. I had gone back to my old job at 12 weeks but kind of had a fake schedule since they knew I was leaving. Anyway, my first day at this job, I realized that our office doors had a lock but didn't lock without a key. Someone put in a maintenance request to get me a key so that I could lock my door and pump in my office (there isn't a pumping room anywhere so I was lucky to have an office of my own). Well, maintenance must have been busy that morning and it was time to pump so I put a post it note on my door that said "do not enter" or something like that. Got my shit all set up, I'm sitting at my desk naked from the waist up and turn on my pump, and I hear someone do the *knock knock* open the door at the same time deal. I was like "DON'T COME IN!!" but it was too late. Luckily it was a female admin my mom's age who saw me and not my new boss or something like that lol. Later that day the admin came back and sat in my office and told me how she nursed her two kids until they were like 2 and gave me wayyyy too much information lol but hey at least she got it.
@JessDG I take Flonase. I have horrendous allergies all the time and Flonase is the only thing that works well. It does have to be used daily and takes a few days for max effect. Then if I need to I’ll add a zyrtec on top of it.
I thought of another embarrassing pumping story and I'm bored so here goes...
I had to go to a long meeting that was being held in a training room at a police station. The meeting was taking forever to wrap up, and my boobs felt like they were going to explode, so I excused myself and headed to my car in the parking lot. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it back to my office before pumping, so I did what I usually did when I had to pump in my car: started the car, put on a podcast through the bluetooth and hopped in the backseat. So I'm chilling in the backseat my car which is parked between two other cars and doing my thing. Well, at this point I guess the meeting was wrapping up, and people were coming out to their cars. I looked out my back window and saw two ladies I knew from the meeting - one was a judge and the other a prosecutor. I was parked between them. I see them walk up, and then clearly become intrigued by the car that's running with apparently no one in the front seat... in the police station parking lot. I can tell they are discussing what to do, so finally I cracked my backseat window and was like "hi! I'm... pumping." They started laughing and luckily it was crisis averted. But after that I always drove to a second location to pump in my car lol.
@meanjellybean omg... I was always sooooo modest about pumping and felt like I constantly had to do it in the car in the early days (I was determined to not be confined to the house lol). Anyway, your coworkers coming up would have been my nightmare. I hope to not be so crazy about it this time b/c, at this point, I realize it's just not that big of a deal. By the end of my pumping journey last time, I was pumping while a friend sat on the other couch and didn't think twice about it, so I have faith in myself lol
@mayisch yes locking door is key lol no pun intended.
@blaf322 omg yes I hated whenever I felt even remotely close to being exposed because my adrenaline would skyrocket and my output would be nothing lol. It's hard to be in the calm, relaxed mindset when you're worried about people catching a peek. I agree, close to the end it's like you gotta do what you gotta do, everyone else can deal!
I was a pumping NYC tourist.. took a trip without DD when she was around 6 months.. pumped at the Top of the Rock, pumped on the top level of a double decker around Brooklyn, pumped in the back of an airport shuttle, etc.. lol. Got some super weird looks. At one point my sister said "I never in my life thought I'd be standing at the top of the rock holding a bottle of my sister's breastmilk" My husband has some pics on his phone, if I think of it later I will add them haha.
Re: Weekly Randoms 1/27/20
If you are low risk and just in regular labor, there is no evidence supporting being confined to a bed. Most places should have some sort of portable or wireless monitoring (even if just in your room on a birthing ball or in the tub, or up walking hallways etc) that make it so you shouldn't be in bed at all times. Also, unless needing certain medications or again, high risk pregnancy/labor, evidence also DOES NOT support continuous monitors for mom or baby. Ask about it, we have policies where I work that allow us to listen to baby every so often in these instances, and most of our staff is willing to accommodate, but also things can change that cause things to change game plan.
If you are planning on an epidural, ask your nurse to help you move around in bed! You should be turned into a different position at least every 30minutes-1 hour(if baby is tolerating it), and this can help labor along, so win-win.
Tell them you're uncomfortable with showing much of anything, labor RN's really trying to keep things under wraps at all times when able.. But we often forget this if things change, (because to us a vagina is like a hand..) But also prepare yourself, sometimes we really do need to rip off the covers to help move you around, AND it is impossible to keep you covered when you're pushing.
Ask for anti nausea meds for the vomiting thing, they'll help early on. But in active labor generally puking can be a part of the process (thanks hormones). But vomiting is also usually a sign you're close to transition, and is the best pushing your body will do.
For all this, if its super important to you and you feel like you wont be able to advocate for yourself, or your husband wont, then write it down and give it to your labor team! (RNs generally scoff at birth plans, because some people make really unrealistic ones that are not appropriate for their labor situation. but if I have a patient with one, i do like to go over it in depth with them and try to follow it as closely as I can)
I think the denim blue color with stars would be good b/c you wouldn't see stains and dirt as much... but I wonder if the white with gray would have a better resale value if I can keep it clean. Thoughts?? (pic in spoiler)
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@blaf322 I would go with stars in our eyes.... Etch is pretty but like the other one better...
Another +1 for an uncomplicated, not traumatizing at all birth story for when we get around to sharing! I like @blaf322 's suggestion about writing out and practicing what you might say. I'm sure the ladies on here will have lots of good suggestions.
@hbird0723 we’ve been using Home Chef for about the last month, since I just can’t get it together to come up with meal ideas/cook and DH works late. They have oven ready meal options that are really easy and convenient!
disinfectant. So I offer to do this since it’s our dog and she says you can’t be using chemicals it will hurt the baby. Really? Cos you never wiped a counter or cleaned a bathroom while pregnant and there are safer disinfectants I can use. Ugh I dunno I’m just frustrated by all the unfiltered comments lately!
I also had a lot of nurses and doctors act so relieved when I didn’t have a birth plan either time, and they all said that people just set themselves up for disappointment when they do. However, I did have an idea of what my preferences would be in any potential situation, and I think thinking through that stuff was really helpful - you could probably call it a plan. Like, I knew I’d just wait and see if I needed pain management with no idea ahead of time whether I would, but that if I did want it, I’d want to go straight to an epidural and skip morphine or gas. And no real specifics if I needed a c-section, just acknowledging it always is a possible necessity and that I’d be okay with it if need be. I have a friend who planned a home birth and needed an emergency c-section and then essentially had to grieve the loss of the birth she hoped for (her baby was born healthy and safely). Which I think is totally valid and makes sense, but being too sure ahead of time about something that’s pretty unpredictable can set you up for more emotional distress than you’d have otherwise.
@Pascal86 I like going to the doctor too! I find it all fascinating. I also did not have a birth plan per se. My plan was basically that I wanted to do whatever would leave us with a healthy baby and healthy mom. But I was lucky enough to have an uncomplicated experience, so maybe if I'd had a bad experience I would feel more strongly about having preferences and something written out this time. I also know people who went into it with these dealbreakers and then shit hit the fan and they ended up being very disappointed in the experience. Some things are out of our control and you have to put a lot of trust in your medical providers which is scary, but necessary at times.
It's lovely to hear everyone's generally positive birth stories/snippets. I think I'm freaked out because I have 1 good friend whose story I partially know which included a 26 hour labor, 2 epidurals (neither of which worked), nurses planning the weeks schedule in her room while she was pushing, and a male doctor who "oh this shouldn't hurt this much" to her while she was in labor. I think I'll probably have a birth plan but maybe I'll call it something like a birth proposal or suggestion or whatnot that basically says "hi I'm super nervous please get this baby earthside in the least terrible way".
I had a pretty low key positive birth experience with DS. I think it's good to hear those too! I'd love to do a birth story thread at some point. I liked reading the ones from STM+ on my other BMB.
Question: Anyone have allergies? What do you take for them? Mine have been a whole lot worse the last few weeks and I am miserable.
I had to go to a long meeting that was being held in a training room at a police station. The meeting was taking forever to wrap up, and my boobs felt like they were going to explode, so I excused myself and headed to my car in the parking lot. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it back to my office before pumping, so I did what I usually did when I had to pump in my car: started the car, put on a podcast through the bluetooth and hopped in the backseat. So I'm chilling in the backseat my car which is parked between two other cars and doing my thing. Well, at this point I guess the meeting was wrapping up, and people were coming out to their cars. I looked out my back window and saw two ladies I knew from the meeting - one was a judge and the other a prosecutor. I was parked between them. I see them walk up, and then clearly become intrigued by the car that's running with apparently no one in the front seat... in the police station parking lot. I can tell they are discussing what to do, so finally I cracked my backseat window and was like "hi! I'm... pumping." They started laughing and luckily it was crisis averted. But after that I always drove to a second location to pump in my car lol.
This time I am determined to exclusively BF so I am taking notes....
office lock.... check
@blaf322 omg yes I hated whenever I felt even remotely close to being exposed because my adrenaline would skyrocket and my output would be nothing lol. It's hard to be in the calm, relaxed mindset when you're worried about people catching a peek. I agree, close to the end it's like you gotta do what you gotta do, everyone else can deal!