@nursejenn5 aww that's so sweet. At my daughter's birth, my OB just held her up and no one said anything but everyone was staring at me. Took me a few seconds to get it together enough to say, "it's a girl" and there was zero emotion behind it because I was sort of in shock she was out! I feel like someone needs to just tell me this time around!
Yeah I think finding out at birth would just be super fun. So weird that for my mom and her generation, They only got ultrasound and found out the sex ahead of time if there was a specific issue – otherwise no one ever found out. Now you have to make such a conscious effort to not find out since the information is all over the place.
@stlbuckeye132 when our daughter was born I remember the doctor being like "so, dad?" And my husband hesitated and was like "uh.. it's a girl?" Later when I asked him why he hesitated he was like "look, there was a lot going on down there!" It was hilarious.
@JessDG That’s great about your cousin, and happy to hear that there could be good outcomes there. I guess what my friend is worried about is that in most cases babies with Turner’s syndrome don’t make it to term, so she says every single twinge makes her worried about a miscarriage. But a quick Google search did tell me that there’s a ton of people out there with Turner’s that are for the most part, totally fine! Also, she did test negative for it in her amnio, so I’m very hopeful that it’s an unnecessary concern!
@meanjellybean I understand where he's coming from! It's not like they come out squeaky clean with their goodies on display. It's take a minute to really look and see what's happening down there! lol
@modoodles I personally would find out the gender but two my husband that I did. We have an agreement that when it comes to all matters pre-delivery my vote counts twice since I’m the one actually carrying and giving birth to our child. I still listen to him and take his feelings into consideration but at the end of the day my vote counts more. Having said that pregnancy hormones are real and who knows how you may feel after just going through labor. I personally was 100% ok either gender and thought there was no way I would have “gender disappointment”. When we found out we were having a boy I cried for 30 minutes because I couldn’t teach him to pee standing up (very important things to worry about while the baby is still inside me). I would have been devastated if this happened the first time I saw him. If you are worried then you find out. I would express to him why you wanted to know but at the end of the day you get to decide. Also everyone I know this sounds bratty and I promise I do talk to my husband and listen to his opinions lol. Sometimes he wins but it’s a discussion and when we can’t decide then I win since I have to carry the baby lol.
@stlbuckeye132 That seems almost mean to make the mother announce! I remember the sort of shell-shocked feeling I had; just realizing that the baby is now truly an outside baby is enough to take in without having to figure out what's happening down there and how to say the words, too. LOL I think all I said for several minutes was "Ohhhh," and maybe some "OK"s.
2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
Team green here re: genderizing, I've started to work on a registry and part of being team green is to get gender neutral stuff (partially for reuse purposes with potential future children, partially because I hate the whole "future [stereotype]" thing and don't want any of it) and like y'all everything out there is gendered. Not just clothes but like plates and spoons???? Why?????
@mehug . Yep...I had a cousin on team green and I was glad she had a big registry, because when I would go walk through baby clothes looking for something cute, there was nothing gender neutral!!
@treeofcheem haha I don’t think they meant to put it all on me, I think I was just the last to see her and since MH and OB had already figured out what she was, they didn’t want to spoil the surprise for me? But hello, people, I waited 9 months for this surprise, and I just went through labor and delivery... somebody please help a girl out and just tell me! 😂 I’ll be very clear with instructions for MH this time.
@modoodles so slightly different, but I will still share anyways. And anyone can flame away!! We had a gender reveal planned with our first for family/friends and I peeked beforehand. I really wanted a boy, but deep down just knew it was a girl. I also knew I would have been really upset for a minute and didn’t want that on video. Our parents live far away, so it was taped for them. I very carefully opened and resealed the letter. To this day DH does not know, and I do not regret it in the slightest. I was able to come to terms with her being a girl, and was genuinely excited when I got to see DH’s face when he found out it was a girl. I love my daughter more than life itself and cannot imagine my life without her, and am very happy that my face on the video that I can share with her when she gets older is all smiles.
@kc0711 well I obviously wouldn't flame you! I also wouldn't want to have a video of me looking possibly sad out there for kiddo to see at some point!
I talked to DH last night, he really and truly doesnt care one way or another, so he doesnt understand my fear of being a little sad/disappointed. But, he said if it would make me feel better, than I could find out. I would rather us find out together, but this way at least I will know and he will still get his delivery room surprise. He said his only fear is that I will somehow give it away, so I know I've got to be very careful not to. He would be really upset if anyone else knew before him (like my best friend/sister or whatever) so we arent going to tell anyone that I know. We will just say we are waiting to find out in July!
@modoodles that's great that y'all were able to figure out something that works for you guys. Talking about the baby in a neutral way to everyone (vs calling it by the correct sex to some and not others) will help keep you from slipping up around him as well.
This might be too much like bucking the system for some, but.... what does everyone think about having one larger weekly check in for the entire group vs weekly check ins by group/week. I feel like dividing by group made sense when 20+ people were checking in with each group (back when I was participating in 2016). Now, we just don't have that many active members in the group as it is. I don't feel like one check in would be overwhelming.... especially since, like, 5 people max check in with each group.
I think the value in putting them all together would be that it could help us get to know each other a little better and would allow for questions to be answered by a better sized group. LMK what you think about maybe trialing this next week!
@blaf322 I would be all for a group wide weekly Check-in instead of the small groups we currently have. This bmb is truly just not that active, it would be nice to have that chance to interact and get to know each other better.
@modoodles yay! The best of both worlds! (You're going to tell us though, right?! Internet strangers surely don't count! )
@blaf322 I'd be down to try an overall check-in! I agree with the smaller groups on the boards, it might be a good way for us all to get to know each other better. Not going to lie, I've been creeping on all the groups this week so I can read everyone's embarrassing stories!
@stlbuckeye132 me too... and for the same reason I typically don't venture into other groups, but reading everything today made me realize it's really not that much and if it were all in one place, I'd prob take the 15 extra mins to read through everything.
@blaf322 I’m on board with that idea. I feel like I want to comment on the othe groups when I lurk. Might also keep some conversations going and get to know others better.
@kc0711 now I want to know before hubby hahaha... we have a son and both of us are crossing our fingers for a girl. After reading you I think I am nervous of what my reaction will be if it's a boy... I know in both cases I will end up crying... anyways I still have 2 weeks to think about it
So, we're talking embarrassing stories in our weekly check ins and I JUST remembered this one. I'm going to share it here as more of a PSA for the daycare folks...
One day, I went to pick DD up from daycare and her teacher let me know that she went to unfold her sheet to put it on her mat for nap and MY UNDERWEAR FELL OUT. Y'all, I wear the stringiest stringy thongs that exist. I. was. mortified. Thankfully, they were one of the good pair. I had some with lace that needed to be thrown away but I just hadn't yet. I would have actually died right there if it was one of those.
Moral of the story is, check your baby's crib sheet before folding it up and sending them to school with it... or, do like me now, and refuse to wash any underwear with the crib sheets, just to make sure it doesn't happen again. You'll thank me if you ever find a pair of your undies in the corner of the sheet.
@blaf322 lol I'm dying. I always check the corners of her sheets after her socks getting caught in there and losing some, but I would've died if it had been my underwear! I've definitely had my thongs get stuck inside my pant legs before though and work their way out at work.
@mehugg oh man I hear ya. Like why does anyone need a pink diaper genie? lol. (no offense if anyone has a pink diaper genie). Part of the reason I'm team green is I hate pink, and if we knew we were having a girl I didn't want to receive random genderless items in pink (like the diaper genie, or a high chair), is that bad? haha.
@blaf322 I'm totally on board with the one weekly check-in. Also.. the underwear oh no!
@stlbuckeye132@meanjellybean It was me who was confused! Haha, when I delivered the doctor just put the baby on my chest, and we had to lift her leg and I was hesitant to say if it was a girl or not because I didn't want to be wrong!!! lol. I just said "you were right!" to my husband because he had a feeling it was a girl the whole time.
@blaf322 I'm down with one check-in. I think if we had a ton of people it would be super overwhelming, but I feel like I could keep up with it at our size right now.
@JessDG I thought the same. And, if by some chance it ever gets to be too much, we can always go back to the way it was or even split into two groups instead of 4
@blaf322 +1 for one group! It’s be nice to easily see everyone’s stuff and get to know people a bit more also my apologies for your underwear 😂 my underwear always seems to get stuck in H’s clothes.
Bahahaha @blaf322 with the underwear. When my oldest son (13) was 2, I dropped him off at daycare (which was in the Lutheran church 🙄) and somehow a pair of my underwear was in his coat sleeve. Of course his teachers discovered it and I didn't. I dont even remember what kind of underwear they were, most likely a thong- but yes, mortifying!
Omg, last night my husband was SO GASSY. I woke up in the MOTN and puked because our bedroom smelled so effing bad. How was he sleeping through that?! 🤢🤢
@modoodles I often welcome H’s quick to sleep because pregnancy has made ME gassy more often than not 😂. I did once read somewhere that you don’t really smell things while sleeping.
LOL to all the underwear stories, I have definitely pulled mine out of coat sleeves in public before.
So I spent yesterday feeling like garbage and then watched some positive birth videos but also read about abuses of informed consent in the birthing room/at hospitals so I basically just spent the latter half of the day crying. To make matters worse, H and I (H taking the lead) cooked dinner together and then I called my mom on speaker and she was like "will you be cleaning together" (She was mostly kidding, H is a better housekeeper than I which is well known) and I was like "I'm growing life and don't feel good" but then I cried for hours post dinner because I felt so guilty and now feel garbage-y today and have a long work day til 9ish. At least work is paying for dinner but boy do I wish it was bedtime already.
@modoodles 🤣 so sorry you threw up but that’s too funny! I’d have kicked him out too lol
Sheets are the worst for catching underwear and other clothing!
Also, I know I haven’t been as active lately but I’m on board for one check in as well (I wish the app would work better because I just don’t get on the computer much). It’s nice to see where everyone is at.
@pocketrose Sorry about your moms comment. I feel like they always know just what to say 🤦🏻♀️ One time mine came to visit from out of state and I spent the whole week cleaning because she’s kind of OCD and things are always spotless. I mean I like the house cleaned and have trouble relaxing when it’s not but I’ve also gotten used to things not being perfect because well kids. Anyway, she comes over and we are getting ready for DD2’s birthday and she says well we should probably clean before everyone comes... um well... I actually spent the whole week cleaning and thought it was clean but ok. Apparently I don’t clean the right way 🤷🏻♀️
@pocketrose aww... I'm so sorry you had a rough day. FWIW, I had a really great birth experience. I think there are tons of positive stories out there... you just hear about the bad ones (and have an easier time finding them) because people are more likely to take the time to complain than write a positive story. Also, those negative experiences are more "exciting" to read. "I went to the hospital, they were really respectful of our birth plan and it was great" isn't as interesting to read and people aren't as motivated to write it. I hope your birth experience is exactly what you're hoping it is!
FFTC: I just had Taco Bell for lunch, knowing full well that it could give me unbearable heartburn.... If that happens, I'm totally leaving work early lol
@pocketrose I'm so sorry about the long day, I hope it is moving quickly for you! I had 4 really great labors and deliveries, at three different hospitals. I definitely hear more positive stories from IRL friends than what you can read online. It may help to sign up for a birth class at the hospital you are delivering at and get a tour of the maternity wing while you're at it. We are planning to do that around 30 weeks or so since DH has never been through this before.
@pocketrose I also had a great birthing experience with DD! I love sharing mine and reading others, so I'm looking forward to us have a birth stories thread at some point on here! I agree it's easy to hear horrible ones because those are what people tend to talk about. Especially when you're very visibly pregnant. Everyone and their mom wants to tell you about their horrible birth... not helpful! I would definitely recommend taking a birthing class at you hospital, and if you're worried about pushy doctors or being forced into something you don't want, you may want to look into hiring a doula.
ETA: @blaf322 I'm currently eating t bell! I hope you don't get heartburn! Edited again because OMG I just noticed I typed "here" instead of "hear"... I apologize to everyone. I promise I know the difference!
Re: Weekly Randoms 1/27/20
Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
I talked to DH last night, he really and truly doesnt care one way or another, so he doesnt understand my fear of being a little sad/disappointed. But, he said if it would make me feel better, than I could find out. I would rather us find out together, but this way at least I will know and he will still get his delivery room surprise. He said his only fear is that I will somehow give it away, so I know I've got to be very careful not to. He would be really upset if anyone else knew before him (like my best friend/sister or whatever) so we arent going to tell anyone that I know. We will just say we are waiting to find out in July!
I think the value in putting them all together would be that it could help us get to know each other a little better and would allow for questions to be answered by a better sized group. LMK what you think about maybe trialing this next week!
@blaf322 I'd be down to try an overall check-in! I agree with the smaller groups on the boards, it might be a good way for us all to get to know each other better. Not going to lie, I've been creeping on all the groups this week so I can read everyone's embarrassing stories!
One day, I went to pick DD up from daycare and her teacher let me know that she went to unfold her sheet to put it on her mat for nap and MY UNDERWEAR FELL OUT. Y'all, I wear the stringiest stringy thongs that exist. I. was. mortified. Thankfully, they were one of the good pair. I had some with lace that needed to be thrown away but I just hadn't yet. I would have actually died right there if it was one of those.
Moral of the story is, check your baby's crib sheet before folding it up and sending them to school with it... or, do like me now, and refuse to wash any underwear with the crib sheets, just to make sure it doesn't happen again. You'll thank me if you ever find a pair of your undies in the corner of the sheet.
@blaf322 I'm totally on board with the one weekly check-in. Also.. the underwear oh no!
I'm down with one check-in. I think if we had a ton of people it would be super overwhelming, but I feel like I could keep up with it at our size right now.
also my apologies for your underwear 😂 my underwear always seems to get stuck in H’s clothes.
So I spent yesterday feeling like garbage and then watched some positive birth videos but also read about abuses of informed consent in the birthing room/at hospitals so I basically just spent the latter half of the day crying. To make matters worse, H and I (H taking the lead) cooked dinner together and then I called my mom on speaker and she was like "will you be cleaning together" (She was mostly kidding, H is a better housekeeper than I which is well known) and I was like "I'm growing life and don't feel good" but then I cried for hours post dinner because I felt so guilty and now feel garbage-y today and have a long work day til 9ish. At least work is paying for dinner but boy do I wish it was bedtime already.
Sheets are the worst for catching underwear and other clothing!
ETA: @blaf322 I'm currently eating t bell! I hope you don't get heartburn!
Edited again because OMG I just noticed I typed "here" instead of "hear"... I apologize to everyone. I promise I know the difference!