@photographerwife Oh no. I am so heartbroken to hear this my friend. I'm glad you didn't have a rupture and everything is physically ok with you as ectopics can be very dangerous. I hope you won't need to have surgery and the injection will do the trick. Take the time you need and be gentle to yourself. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you and your family. Sending hugs and love
PS. I was thinking of you over the weekend and sent you a message. KIT
Me: 33 DH: 36 Dating 4/2008 Married 6/2016 TTC #1 9/2019 BFP 12/13/2019! EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
@photographerwife Oh, my heart is shattered for you. I am so so sorry for all of this. I hope this is all behind you soon with minimal intervention necessary to get you there. Sending you big hugs and all the love 💗
@photographerwife I am so sorry. I've had an ectopic and I know the heartache it brings. Hoping the methotrexate works. Hugs hun. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. It's a special hell to see the emptiness of your uterus with growing hcg numbers.
@photographerwife I’m so sorry, I’m devastated for you. I hope you can avoid surgery. Huge hugs, friend. I‘m here for you if you need to talk/vent but aren’t ready to come back to TTGP yet. PM me anytime ❤️
Lurking.... @photographerwife I am so sorry about this news My heart simply aches for your heart and what you are going through. We are all here for you but take all the time you need.
Our TTC Journey
TTC #1: May 2011 BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018 Me: 36 | DH: 39 Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled 9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks 10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN 11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN 1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst 3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP 11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
@photographerwife i’m deeply sorry to hear this news. I will be praying/sending good thoughts. I’m so sorry for these tough trials you’re going through.
@photographerwife I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending hope that the physical part is as painless as possible and that you find comfort and healing in the coming weeks.
I am so very sorry @photographerwife I have been thinking about you each and every day, and this is not the update any of us was hoping to hear... 😔 I <i>do</i> know how very much wanted and loved this pregnancy was. It's devastating. ((((Hugs))) I hope at the very least, everything resolves smoothly for you, and uncomplicated. ❤️
@photographerwife My heart dropped when I saw all the new comments on this thread. I'm so, beyond sorry to hear this news, and I hope you are gentle with yourself as you grieve and heal. I hope surgery is not necessary. You are in my thoughts. ❤️
@photographerwife I'm so sorry you're going through this. Praying you won't have to have surgery and that you heal physically and emotionally through this heartbreak.
@photographerwife I’m so sorry to read this, friend. I’ve been thinking of you. Hopefully the medication is enough and surgery can be avoided. Take care of yourself during this time. ❤️
Hi Mamas, I wanted to update you on this roller coaster of a week. I hope this isn’t inappropriate to post this here. Please let me know if I’m not abiding by the rules.
Last week I let you know that my HCG numbers did not rise. My appointment on Monday the 6th was not much better. Basically at around 600 (and 30-something) my HCG levels evened out. They didn’t rise or fall really. The nurse said that this was an indicator for an ectopic pregnancy. My world just crashed even further. My mind just knew that my August bundle of joy wouldn’t be arriving and that we’d have to start the process all over again in a few months.
Couple that with a business trip to China on Saturday, I was heart broken. Who wants to travel for any reason when you know you’re about to miscarry? The nurse said that they’d do a final HCG test today and an ultrasound to see if their thoughts about an ectopic pregnancy were correct or if not, walk me through my options for miscarriage (i.e. do i want to have a DNC or naturally at home.) The nurse said that she’d never seen a Successful pregnancy with this kind of HCG data.
So today we arrive at our appointment. I have horribly tiny and deep veins so after 4 tries by two nurses, they said they’d instead have me do the ultrasound and then come back out to retry the blood draw. Drink water, heat pack, as we were doing the US.
As the nurses are performing the US, they confirmed that I do not, have an ectopic pregnancy. Thank the Lord! But they further confirm that I am pregnant. They saw the fetus and the yolk sack and a 127 bpm heart beat!! I cannot believe this news. I’m measuring within the expected 6-week mark.
While this is such amazing news, we are not out of the woods yet. We have to go back next week for another US to validate the baby is growing expectedly. I am cautiously optimistic.
I hope that this little note helps you all. I have had a miscarriage in the past, so had lost all hope for this pregnancy. The chances of this positive outcome happening was 15%. I know some of us have not such hopeful news and my heart is with you. But I hope this update gives you some positive thoughts and that it’s not over until its over.
@lovemyducks Yay! I'm so happy you got some good news after such a difficult thing to hear! I hope everything keeps progressing as expected at your next US.
@lovemyducks Wow! That is incredible! I am praying your baby keeps growing normally and your HCG level begins to steadily rise until it’s where it needs to be!
Hello all, I had more spotting and got an earlier appiontment today. I also did another blood draw this mornin. My levels went from 1286 on saturday to 2534 today (Wednesday). In the ultra sound she did see a sac but nothing else. At 6 weeks 4 days there of course should be much more. The dr said the expect a full miscarriage any time. She offered me a pill to get it over with but it's not ectopic and unless it was dangerous to me I would rather have it happen on it's own. My husband and I are devastated and we are so scared to try again. What if this keeps happening?
@lovemyducks yay! I hope your pregnancy progresses normally from here on out. I feel like I remember reading something about HCG levels standing still and then rising again if you have had vanishing twin syndrome (where you had twins initially but one twin or your body just kind of absorbed the other twin). Don’t quote me on that, but it might be something to look up!
@augst2020kude I’m so sorry for your news many women go on to have successful healthy pregnancies after a loss. Talk to your provider each person is different.
@lovemyducks What a whirlwind of emotions that must have been for you. I am so happy that in that 15% chance, a miracle happened for you.
@augst2020kude I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. I have faith that your next pregnancy will bless you with a beautiful rainbow baby. Be kind to yourself, and we are all thinking of you.
@augst2020kude I'm so sorry to hear this. Many women experience miscarriages and have healthy pregnancies after. Take the time and be gentle to yourself. Hugs
Me: 33 DH: 36 Dating 4/2008 Married 6/2016 TTC #1 9/2019 BFP 12/13/2019! EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
@lovemyducks Wow, so amazing! You must be a ball of emotions right now!! I'm so happy for this outcome and hope your HCG levels rise to where they need to be. What a miracle!
Me: 33 DH: 36 Dating 4/2008 Married 6/2016 TTC #1 9/2019 BFP 12/13/2019! EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
@augst2020kude I am so sorry for this news. If this helps you, all I hear from people is how you can have a loss and go on to have a healthy, complete pregnancy. Be well
@augst2020kude, I am really sorry. I know just how you feel. Before DS we too had a miscarriage. The yolk sack was misshapen and the heart beat was super low. I ended up miscarrying and had the exact same thoughts as you.
There is nothing you could have done, differently. Typically, when a woman miscarries this early in her pregnancy, it means something chromosomal. While that doesn’t make it any easier, it doesn’t mean that your next pregnancy won’t be successful.
One thing that is difficult is that women don’t always talk about miscarriage. But it happens more than you think. I don’t know if you have Netflix, but there is a show called Fertility, Explained. It’s in partnership with Vox. They have other baby related “Explained” episodes too. It helped me, the other day, better understand the process and demystify what is happening in my body.
Anyway, I am sending you love from the Pacific Northwest. Take care.
@augst2020kude I am so sorry, hun. I can tell you that miscarriage is hard. I've had several miscarriages. That is not the norm. I have 2 rainbow babies, this babe will be my third. Loss sucks. So much. There is no way to sugar coat that. Just remember that over the next hill, after you get through the muck and mire, your rainbow is waiting. Hugs, sweetie. I hate this for you.
@lovemyducks yay for good news!! I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope you continue to get good news at your next appointment!
@augst2020kude I’m so sorry to hear this news. Take care of yourself during this time. Just don’t give up hope. When you guys are ready, try for your rainbow.
Thank you ladies for all your kind words. ❤ hubby and I are taking the day to grieve and also wait for the miscarriage to take place. I will be reporting this as a loss on here so I don't know if I'll be able to get back to this thread. Praying for our rainbow baby after this.
Dirty Lurker**** @augst2020kude I am so sorry that the doctor does not think this is a viable pregnancy. TW*** loss
Just an FYI sometimes your body hangs on to the pregnancy even if the embryo has died.... With my loss we the baby was measuring spot on (9 weeks) but there was no HB. I initially opted to wait for the miscarriage to happen but did didn't. Three weeks later I was still walking around feeling pregnant carrying my not alive baby. It was super hard on me mentally/emotionally. we ultimately had to do a few rounds of the meds to complete the miscarriage. I hope your not left in that kind of limbo.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
I’m out. 😭 Completely, one-hundred-percent blindsided at my ultrasound today at 10 weeks, 5 days.
Warning, this is extremely graphic, and I would not recommend that most of you even read it, especially if you are sensitive at all about losses or have had a loss in the past. But I’m going to tell it, mostly for me to process what happened and to ask for your prayers.
It was going to be my final, “graduation” appointment with my RE. I had been so sad to leave my fertility clinic, the doctor, and his amazing staff. I had put off looking for an OB because I was in denial about leaving my RE. But yesterday, I found an OB who I thought was perfect, so I made an appointment with her for next week. Finally, a ray of excitement to meet my new OB was overshadowing my sadness about leaving my wonderful fertility doctor. I walked in to the clinic (with my mom) feeling happy and so excited to see my growing little baby girl, who I had already named Adelaide! (She was supposed to be the size of a strawberry at this point!)
The doctor walked in saying, “Alright, who’s ready to see this baby?! Let’s see, now you’re 10 weeks along, so this is going to be great! It’s going to look much more like an actual baby this time! You’re going to love it!”
Immediately when he pulled up the screen, I knew something was wrong. Baby didn’t look any bigger than my appointment on Christmas Eve (8w3d). I knew she had stopped growing. After about 30 seconds, the doctor said, “There is an issue here... I’m not seeing a heartbeat. I’m so, so sorry.” Then he pushed a button on his machine to try to hear a heartbeat, but there was no sound. I asked, “Can you measure it, to estimate when it stopped growing?” And he said, “I’m so sorry, I can’t measure it, because it’s already been decomposing, and it isn’t all in one piece anymore. See, over here is the head... and over there is what’s left of the body.”
The image that I saw on the screen, I’ll never get out of my head, of course. But I’m so glad I saw it, just for the finality of it. There’s no disputing or questioning whether he just missed finding the heartbeat. I have immediate and ultimate closure.
As he was stepping out of the room to give my mom and me a moment to grieve, she asked him, “Can you just try again? Try and find a heartbeat?” She had not realized what she was looking at on the screen. I said, “No, Mom... her body is in two separate pieces. She’s gone.” And she burst into tears. It was so beyond difficult to see her in so much pain, while at the same time I was feeling so much pain myself.
Once the doctor left, we prayed that God would take Adelaide into His loving arms and comfort her and tell her that her Mommy and Nanny love her so much, and we would see her again. We prayed for strength for me to get through this emotionally, and clarity for the doctors to understand why this happened, and to do everything that can be done to prevent it from happening again when we try next time. We prayed for a sense of direction and timing, regarding how to proceed after this. If anyone is still reading this at this point who believes in the power of prayer, I would sure appreciate if you would say a little one for me, regarding these above things as well.
So, next steps. The clinic is going to call the hospital tomorrow to schedule my DNC, hopefully for as soon as possible. I don’t want it to happen naturally before they can fit me in their schedule. It has already been a couple of weeks since she passed away, the doctor thinks. So it really could happen any time. After the DNC, I will take a few months to let my body heal, then I will be starting from the very beginning with IVF again.
I’ve always been a very optimistic person, and this is no different. I know that just because I had a miscarriage once, does not mean it will happen again. I do think I will have my rainbow baby next time. It just hurts that Adelaide didn’t turn out to be my take-home baby. 😭
Re: **TW** Loss/Spotting/Bleeding support thread
PS. I was thinking of you over the weekend and sent you a message. KIT
Dating 4/2008
Married 6/2016
TTC #1 9/2019
BFP 12/13/2019!
EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
Craft Blog
@photographerwife I’m so sorry, I’m devastated for you. I hope you can avoid surgery. Huge hugs, friend. I‘m here for you if you need to talk/vent but aren’t ready to come back to TTGP yet. PM me anytime ❤️
@photographerwife I am so sorry about this news
BFP: 10/27/2011 | EDD: 6/30/12
DS born 6/28/12 via C/S
TTC #2: September 2018
Me: 36 | DH: 39
Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
***TW***
****trigger warning****
1 LC, girl 5 years old
TTC #2 Summer 2017
BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018
TTCAL May 2018
BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018
hubs: 26
ttc #1: 4/19
dx: PCOS
So today we arrive at our appointment. I have horribly tiny and deep veins so after 4 tries by two nurses, they said they’d instead have me do the ultrasound and then come
back out to retry the blood draw. Drink water, heat pack, as we were doing the US.
hubs: 26
ttc #1: 4/19
dx: PCOS
many women go on to have successful healthy pregnancies after a loss. Talk to your provider each person is different.
Craft Blog
DD born June 2016
Second due August 2020 (team green!)
@augst2020kude I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. I have faith that your next pregnancy will bless you with a beautiful rainbow baby. Be kind to yourself, and we are all thinking of you.
Dating 4/2008
Married 6/2016
TTC #1 9/2019
BFP 12/13/2019!
EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
Dating 4/2008
Married 6/2016
TTC #1 9/2019
BFP 12/13/2019!
EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
***TW***
****trigger warning****
1 LC, girl 5 years old
TTC #2 Summer 2017
BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018
TTCAL May 2018
BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018
TW*** loss
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Immediately when he pulled up the screen, I knew something was wrong. Baby didn’t look any bigger than my appointment on Christmas Eve (8w3d). I knew she had stopped growing. After about 30 seconds, the doctor said, “There is an issue here... I’m not seeing a heartbeat. I’m so, so sorry.” Then he pushed a button on his machine to try to hear a heartbeat, but there was no sound. I asked, “Can you measure it, to estimate when it stopped growing?” And he said, “I’m so sorry, I can’t measure it, because it’s already been decomposing, and it isn’t all in one piece anymore. See, over here is the head... and over there is what’s left of the body.”
The image that I saw on the screen, I’ll never get out of my head, of course. But I’m so glad I saw it, just for the finality of it. There’s no disputing or questioning whether he just missed finding the heartbeat. I have immediate and ultimate closure.