@clee5711 I'm not doing anything, but that's mostly because DD is only 20 months old and doesn't even quite grasp that there is a baby I'm mom's tummy let alone that a new baby would get her anything lol
@misstree5 ds1 was only 19 months and absolutely had no clue either. The gift ended up just being a way to keep him entertained at the hospital so my in laws could meet ds2. I think I put in a few snacks, a book and a puzzle.
@clee5711 when DD2 was born I gave DD1 a baby doll from DD2. This was mostly so we could take care of our babies together and it could be a game. This time around... I’m not sure what to do. I was thinking about ordering some of those water painting books where you fill the paintbrush pen with water. That way they feel like they get to do a craft and can be in the living room with me while I sit on the couch and recover lol
DH and I were talking the other day about savings plans and things for baby. His coworker was talking to him about the Gerber college planning one and I just remembered that I wanted to look into that and life insurance. Anybody have experience or recommendations?
@babyroma - I don't have any experience with the Gerber one but I know from my dad's experience (he has made several 529 plans for people in our family) that if a kiddo doesn't end up going to college, it is hard to get the money out of a 529 for other things. Instead, he prefers just an investment account with just someone like Schwab...It is easier to get the money out when needed and for whatever it is needed for.
I don't know the real details or logistics but just some food for thought.
@babyroma, some states offer tax incentives for investing in their own state 529 so that is something to look into. MA used to not offer incentives and our financial adviser suggested we use the Utah plan. Then MA offers incentives for up to $2k per year to use a MA plan so we opened one of those too to contribute $2k a year and any other contributions will go to the Utah plan. Like @burr1371 said there are some challenges if they money in a 529 isn't being used for education but it can now be used for private school tuition in K-5 and can be transferred to another child in Baby A isn't using it for college but future kid B will. Also, we don't plan to fully fund our kids college education through a 529 due to the limitations of having all that money held up in that account if they don't end up going to college.
@babyroma, oh and life insurance. Our financial advisor suggested we get term life insurance and obtain quotes through Policy Genius. Some employers also offer policies. We opted to get what we'd need to pay off the mortgage and monthly bills until the kids are over 18 should one of us pass away.
@babyroma My husband is a financial planner and he said most importantly is to not waste money on life insurance for the baby. If you want to know more about why it's a horrible idea(even though all insurance salesmen will say it's a must) you can message me directly. Make sure you have adequate TERM life insurance for you and your husband. He agrees that in most cases a 529 is best for education funding. However don't forget that you have to pay a penalty and tax on any of the 529 that isn't used specifically in the rules.
I don't know whether this applies to 529 plans, because I don't remember the specific type of account involved, but something to consider is whether the account will be in the child's name or the parents'. There was a HUGE fight in my family over a college fund that my grandfather started in my name when I was born. My parents managed it but never needed to dip into it for education because I had a full scholarship. When I announced my engagement, my mother figured she would just use the college fund to pay for the wedding. I turned 21 in the middle of wedding planning and my grandfather pointed out that the money in the account was now legally mine (i.e. my mom had to hand it over). Instead she hired an attorney to try to find a loophole to take the money back, but I kept the money in the end. We spent some of it on our share of wedding expenses, some we used to live on while I finished school, and the rest became my first car after graduation. 7.5 years later and who paid for what in regards to college and the wedding is still a sore subject in the family.
I plan to open a normal investment account in my/hubby's names with the intent of using it for kiddos' education. If they chose not to go to school then hubby and I can make the decision whether to gift them the money or use it for something else. I also plan to transfer my GI bill benefits to them, since I never used them for my own education and hubby has no desire to go back to school. The GI bill can also be used for some trade schools, not just traditional colleges.
tldr: Whatever type of account you open, be very deliberate about whether the money is in your name or the child's and what happens to it if it is not used for college.
Do we have a breast pump thread somewhere? If so, can someone point me in the right direction? I searched and couldn’t find one just comments here and there.
@charbabymama, sex is getting harder to physically manage. I still have a high sex drive thanks to hormones but lower than it was 2nd tri and the logistics are more complicated. We are still having sex at least once a week but not sure for how much longer.
@charbabymama it's not happening around these parts! DH is weirded out by the thought of it. I'm pretty okay with it though since my pelvis has been in so much pain for months now that i can't even imagine it being much fun. I've got a vibrator I'll use sometimes if I'm feeling frisky but that's not super enjoyable all the time because all the tightening in my abdomen that happens.
@charbabymama Haha sex has been interesting. My hormones tell me I want it, but like others have said, it hasn't been the most comfortable. We have also started a rule that when I want it, I get it, since there will be a decent chunk of time that I won't be getting any.
About H’s wanting it or not, when I was pregnant with DD my H was so weirded out we stopped having sex before 20 weeks. This time around he doesn’t mind at all lol
Lol I am sorry all your husband's are scared! Hopefully you all can convince them near the end that sex is super helpful to start labour ...not the sex itself, but the sperm is good to ripen the cervix!
@babyroma - we get incentives in CT to do a 529 and that's what we've been doing with DD1. I will do the same for DD2. My financial advisor said we would need to save $375K for DD1's college alone (and that is going to UConn), which turned out to $1K+ mo. We are not in a position to do that especially with daycare! She also suggested setting up IRAs to save for college so that's something else to look into. I'm thinking I will maintain our current contributions to the 529s and then when they are out of daycare increase our investments in our taxable account like others have suggested for more flexibility. We may also cash flow part of college since we presently pay $15K/year each for daycare , we should be able to afford something similar for college unless our situation changes considerably. I also don't super believe the FA because her prediction is based on the current inflation of tuition 6-8%? continuing for another 20 years and I do not think that is sustainable.
I also agree no life insurance for children, my husband and I each got 20 year term 1 million $ life insurance policies through an agent last year. Our thoughts were in 20 years we will have enough assets to take care of our kids/ourselves if something goes badly. We each pay about $400/year since we don't smoke and are healthy although in our late 30s. Prior to that we had plans through work which were MUCH more expensive. So definitely shop around.
Me: 38, DH: 36 Married Jan 2008 DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" so in love Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
I'm not into sex at all this time which is hard on my husband because he is. We still do it but it is painful even with help. Last time I was super into it and he was not because he was afraid of hurting the baby. So we are basically always opposites
Me: 38, DH: 36 Married Jan 2008 DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" so in love Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
@misstree5 I told him last time that sex was probably the one thing that would have made me go into labor and avoid the induction 😆😆😆 this time we don’t have to worry about it and I definitely don’t want to encourage labor before my CS so I’m ok with it not happening!
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
My drive is through the roof but it's difficult and uncomfortable to find things that work for me/us. We're down to basically one position that works. And H seems to have tapped out of initiating, hopefully because he assumes I'm just too uncomfortable to bother. When I can get there, it's awesome, but it takes effort for the 2 of us. We used to have a good routine of 2-3 times a week, now it's about once a month. Trying to not let my hormones take over and make myself feel undesirable because of it.
529 can be used for trade/vocational schools. Not necessarily college. @babyroma I would consult with a financial adviser. There are a lot of products out there. We are going to do something for this kid but I forgot what it is called.
As for sex, we both have very high sex drives right now but we're just too tired. My husband isn't a good sleeper and wakes up at 5:00AM everyday so by 7-8PM, he is out. Same for me. I wake up at 4:30AM and I am unable to fall back asleep. By 8PM, I feel useless and I have to drag myself to bed.
TTC#1 10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml) 11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged 1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele 4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery 6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020 Baby girl born 2/27/2020 7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
DH is not scared at all, my pregnant doesn’t phase him. I have no drive so I was thankful to be on pelvic rest. I got to go off a couple weeks ago, and I almost considered not telling DH. But I did tell him, he was so excited. But we’ve only done it like 3 times since then.
I’m not super into pregnancy sex this time and neither is DH. Last time we went nuts! I think we are both more tired this time chasing a toddler. It’s been a few weeks avoiding since these BH started. Last time sex during BH is how labor started in earnest! We’ll be back at it at 37 weeks, but avoiding for the next 2 weeks until then.
Ugh! I hate pregnancy sex. I am use to being in shape, so the body changes make me dislike it. I am also big now, so I don’t have the mobility I had before. I wish I had a better drive all around, because my husband would do it every day. It’s annoying and makes me feel bad that I turn him down so much.
Guys, I'm DYING. I haven't been able to sleep more than 3.5-4 hours the past 5 nights and now I have quite possibly the worst sinus infection of my life. I know that a lot of sinus drugs contain phenylephidrine which is unsafe - has anyone been able to find a good sinus/throat/cough drug that is pregnancy safe?
@ibabyloveb87 I've been feeling ready as soon as it was 2020 lol ...and then during my insomnia last night I realised I haven't packed my hospital bag yet and started to freak out and mentally pack (aka no sleep for me lol)
@ibabyloveb87 nope lol With Kid 1 and 2 I couldn’t wait but this time I’ll deal with this discomfort as long as possible 😂 I’m not quite ready for the chaos of three kids three and under
I am ready, but from an RT standpoint I know it’s best for my guy to stay in there until around 38-39 weeks. Most of my kiddos were born at 38 weeks (besides my 25 weeker) and all but one of them had jaundice issues. I would like to avoid that for his sake and of course any respiratory issues. I just keep telling myself that I have only a few more weeks of being pregnant ever! I can do this.
I am not ready! There is so much to accomplish and I’m only 32 weeks. My youngest was born at 37 weeks and while she was perfectly healthy I was definitely nervous about how little she was. Plus, Babies are so much easier to take care of in the womb 😂
Re: The Great Question Thread
Anybody have experience or recommendations?
I don't know the real details or logistics but just some food for thought.
I plan to open a normal investment account in my/hubby's names with the intent of using it for kiddos' education. If they chose not to go to school then hubby and I can make the decision whether to gift them the money or use it for something else. I also plan to transfer my GI bill benefits to them, since I never used them for my own education and hubby has no desire to go back to school. The GI bill can also be used for some trade schools, not just traditional colleges.
tldr: Whatever type of account you open, be very deliberate about whether the money is in your name or the child's and what happens to it if it is not used for college.
I've got a vibrator I'll use sometimes if I'm feeling frisky but that's not super enjoyable all the time because all the tightening in my abdomen that happens.
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
I also agree no life insurance for children, my husband and I each got 20 year term 1 million $ life insurance policies through an agent last year. Our thoughts were in 20 years we will have enough assets to take care of our kids/ourselves if something goes badly. We each pay about $400/year since we don't smoke and are healthy although in our late 30s. Prior to that we had plans through work which were MUCH more expensive. So definitely shop around.
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
Married Jan 2008
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18"
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@babyroma I would consult with a financial adviser. There are a lot of products out there. We are going to do something for this kid but I forgot what it is called.
As for sex, we both have very high sex drives right now but we're just too tired. My husband isn't a good sleeper and wakes up at 5:00AM everyday so by 7-8PM, he is out. Same for me. I wake up at 4:30AM and I am unable to fall back asleep. By 8PM, I feel useless and I have to drag myself to bed.
10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml)
11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged
1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele
4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery
6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020
7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
TTC #2
9/07/2021: BFP - CP: 9/10/2021
10/07/2021: BFP - CP: 10/23/2021
12/23/2021: BFP! EDD: 08/31/2022
If any of our providers tries to schedule an induction or csection before 39 weeks, they have to cite a medical reason from ACOG.
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Guess what I am going to get done today