Well my MiL basically outed me too. First she told everyone that we bought a bigger house, which pisses me off because we haven’t sold our house yet, so technically have not “bought” the bigger house, and it wasn’t her news to tell. Then she proceeds to tell people that there’s “big news” coming on thanksgiving. We aren’t even planning to announce on thanksgiving, but now everyone assumes we are.
We were at our first family Christmas event on Saturday with the side of my family that we aren’t close to at all. I had told my grandma we were announcing at Christmas but for whatever reason she assumed we’d make an announcement at this party. She spent the entire night prodding me despite me (and my mom) telling her to shut up. I had no desire to tell any of these people since I’m not close with them, I don’t care if they find out via Facebook or when we show up next year with a baby.
Then at the end of the night she lets me know that she had already told her sister and that (sister) would likely tell everybody anyways because my grandma told her we were making it public this weekend 🙃 I lost my shit on her and was so mad I was almost crying, so my husband and I just left and went for ice cream.
I get that my grandma is excited but I expressed to her 2 weeks ago that I want to wait because it’s still very early (10 weeks yesterday) and we had a previous loss, so I want to take it slow. I’ve never been so mad at her in my life and now I’m dreading seeing any family between now and Christmas because I’m sure some people will be upset that we didn’t tell them in person, even though this isn’t my fault.
Edit: prior to this we had only told our parents, siblings, and my grandparents. So now to add to this we feel rushed to tell the other really important people in our lives before they find out through the grapevine
@bbluemoo I am so sorry that this happened to you. I wouldnt worry too much about what anyone says or how anyone feels just announce how YOU wanted to, I am sure there will be plenty of people who will be surprised and just as excited. It isnt the same hearing it from the mommy to be as it is hearing it from the grapevine. Who knows maybe they will think grandma & great auntie just are wishful thinkers.
So reading all the news got out early posts.... I'm a bit of a worrier so I don't like to tell people before at least 12 weeks. After my second, I told my husband I didn't want to tell anyone until at least 18 weeks (when they do another us where we live). Life had different plans though.
I'd been teaching English at my son's kindergarten and about 3 weeks into my course (that parents had to sign up for -if they wanted of course- and pay me directly). There was an outbreak of fifth disease at the kindergarten. I had found out I was pregnant days before and went immediately to test of I had immunity... Of course I don't. Fall break was about to start so it was fine to wait it out - I thought. But there kept being cases of fifth disease. I had to delay the course so often that I ended up having to tell all the parents why (because there is a regulation that states that women in my case just wait 22 days before returning to the kindergarten). I didn't exactly tell all the parents I was pregnant, but it was pretty clear... Fifth disease is mild for pretty much everyone except unborn babies. I live in a pretty small town so basically everyone knew before I even had my first dating us. Still haven't reached 12 weeks, but at this point I've made peace with situation. Just today there were more cases of fifth disease in the kindergarten, so the English course has to wait even longer to continue... Not until after Christmas
This is so sad! You should be able to tell everyone on your own terms!
i was outed at 7 weeks for wearing seabands by the women in my book club. At first I was really upset but it’s actually been the best. I’m so glad they know. These are the women I see outside of work a lot and they care about me and check in on me.
I told my principal and vp at 8 weeks in case something. Happened at school so that they could take care of me appropriately (I’m high risk for Lupus) and they’ve checked in on me weekly. They even bought baby a set of PJs for the fall.
Family has known since 6 weeks.i couldn’t eat anything and I love to eat. They’ve put up with all sorts of weird food choices. And bring me food regularly when I can’t find something that sounds good.
I guess what I’m getting at is while I waited until 14 weeks to tell anyone last tome, it’s been really nice to have people know and keep an wye out for me when I’ve felt so awful these last few months. Do I wish i could tell people on my own terms? Yes. Would I be so mad if In laws or grandmas outed me? Yes. But there are pros to having people know too.
Also I’m starting to really show. Going to have to tell coworkers soon too. Oh well. Second babies don’t hide as well
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
I am so sorry for everyone who had their announcements spoiled, pre-empted, or forced by others. I hope you'll get to celebrate in your own way with the people nearest to you, too.
Today is finally my OB intake appointment (9+4). I woke up at 3am suddenly super anxious after a month of being almost completely chill about it. This is the one day in the past three months my 2-year-old slept past 5:30am too, so, joke's on me. I had plans about how I was going to be super productive prepping for Thanksgiving today and instead it seems like I'm going to be an unfocused bundle of nerves. GOOD TIMES. I'm going to tell myself the fact that I was having massive nausea yesterday is a great sign, over and over, and hopefully I'll be right!
I'm also so sorry for everyone who was force-outed by others! That just sounds so.... yucky is the word that comes to mind.
I'm also pissed, but at the company doing my NIPT instead of family members. (Smooth transition?) We did our test a week ago and expected the results at today's OB appointment. We walk in and the nurse says, "What test did you want? The company is confused and hasn't tested anything." 1) Why are you confused when we indicated "panorama" on the form? 2) Why did you wait a WEEK before bothering to ask anyone? We were SO pissed.
... My hubby works in biotech and his company does business with the one doing our NIPT. He's heard from the grape vine that this company is generally a mess. I guess the rumors are true. Now I hope they don't accidentally tell us someone else's results.... Sigh.
@mariabele I had panorama done with my first 2. I was surprised when I went to my last appointment and my doctor said they no longer use panorama because of the multitude of errors that were occurring and now they use a different company. I personally didn't have any issues with them, but clearly enough people have. Sorry for that stress! Do you have to get blood taken again, then?
I’m just a very private person and my family knows this about me. I’d be fine with people knowing early if things go well, but if anything were to happen I don’t want people knowing about it. Just because I’m not the type of person to want to talk about how I’m feeling nor would I enjoy having people check in on me. Hell, I appreciate the sentiment behind my family checking in on how I’m feeling now, but’s it more annoying than anything lol. I have a pretty long history of not telling people major things going on in my life because I just don’t want to talk about it.
anyways, hopefully things will go perfectly with this pregnant and eventually it won’t matter that my grandma acted this way.
also, I’m sorry to other people this has happened to! It sucks but at least we’ll know better than to do the same thing to our kids/grandkids/friends when they trust us with secret and exciting news.
I got an email from labcorp saying that the genetic tests were sent to my doctor. I called the genetic counselor and she didnt return my call and now I think the office is closed. ugghh
diagonalley I'm hopeful they can locate the blood samples I already gave and just test those! ::fingers crossed that 1) they'll find them and 2) that they'll give me my results, and not Sue's from the next blood draw:: lol
bbluemoo I totally understand how you're feeling and I'm exactly the same way! I don't care for emotional conversations and don't like attention. This is partly why there will be no announcements on social media.
Happy Thanksgiving! I celebrated by making my non American coworkers eat turkey sandwiches with me. It’s the one day of the year I’m really homesick boo hoo
Happy belated Thanksgiving! Thank you so much, all of you. You've been such a great support, particularly in these early days when we're still (mostly) keeping the news to ourselves.
Re: November Randoms
Then at the end of the night she lets me know that she had already told her sister and that (sister) would likely tell everybody anyways because my grandma told her we were making it public this weekend 🙃 I lost my shit on her and was so mad I was almost crying, so my husband and I just left and went for ice cream.
I get that my grandma is excited but I expressed to her 2 weeks ago that I want to wait because it’s still very early (10 weeks yesterday) and we had a previous loss, so I want to take it slow. I’ve never been so mad at her in my life and now I’m dreading seeing any family between now and Christmas because I’m sure some people will be upset that we didn’t tell them in person, even though this isn’t my fault.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I wouldnt worry too much about what anyone says or how anyone feels just announce how YOU wanted to, I am sure there will be plenty of people who will be surprised and just as excited. It isnt the same hearing it from the mommy to be as it is hearing it from the grapevine. Who knows maybe they will think grandma & great auntie just are wishful thinkers.
I'd been teaching English at my son's kindergarten and about 3 weeks into my course (that parents had to sign up for -if they wanted of course- and pay me directly). There was an outbreak of fifth disease at the kindergarten. I had found out I was pregnant days before and went immediately to test of I had immunity... Of course I don't. Fall break was about to start so it was fine to wait it out - I thought. But there kept being cases of fifth disease. I had to delay the course so often that I ended up having to tell all the parents why (because there is a regulation that states that women in my case just wait 22 days before returning to the kindergarten). I didn't exactly tell all the parents I was pregnant, but it was pretty clear... Fifth disease is mild for pretty much everyone except unborn babies. I live in a pretty small town so basically everyone knew before I even had my first dating us. Still haven't reached 12 weeks, but at this point I've made peace with situation. Just today there were more cases of fifth disease in the kindergarten, so the English course has to wait even longer to continue... Not until after Christmas
i was outed at 7 weeks for wearing seabands by the women in my book club. At first I was really upset but it’s actually been the best. I’m so glad they know. These are the women I see outside of work a lot and they care about me and check in on me.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
Today is finally my OB intake appointment (9+4). I woke up at 3am suddenly super anxious after a month of being almost completely chill about it. This is the one day in the past three months my 2-year-old slept past 5:30am too, so, joke's on me. I had plans about how I was going to be super productive prepping for Thanksgiving today and instead it seems like I'm going to be an unfocused bundle of nerves. GOOD TIMES. I'm going to tell myself the fact that I was having massive nausea yesterday is a great sign, over and over, and hopefully I'll be right!
I'm also pissed, but at the company doing my NIPT instead of family members. (Smooth transition?) We did our test a week ago and expected the results at today's OB appointment. We walk in and the nurse says, "What test did you want? The company is confused and hasn't tested anything." 1) Why are you confused when we indicated "panorama" on the form? 2) Why did you wait a WEEK before bothering to ask anyone? We were SO pissed.
... My hubby works in biotech and his company does business with the one doing our NIPT. He's heard from the grape vine that this company is generally a mess. I guess the rumors are true. Now I hope they don't accidentally tell us someone else's results.... Sigh.
anyways, hopefully things will go perfectly with this pregnant and eventually it won’t matter that my grandma acted this way.
also, I’m sorry to other people this has happened to! It sucks but at least we’ll know better than to do the same thing to our kids/grandkids/friends when they trust us with secret and exciting news.
bbluemoo I totally understand how you're feeling and I'm exactly the same way! I don't care for emotional conversations and don't like attention. This is partly why there will be no announcements on social media.
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016 | 6w2d
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP! . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017