November Randoms

diagonalley

Rabbit rabbit, ladies!

runwmusic

Ds has been getting up at 5 lately and idk how I'm going to get through the time change. By the time I get him back down my alarm is set for ten minutes away. So tired and coffee is disgusting now. 😭

hayhay2501

Omg I can’t believe it’s already November. I just wrote something in the October one because it’s still summer in my head 🤣

saladflambe

Why are SBux winter drinks not out today? hmph

alli392

All I can think of for here is that I hope I feel better by thanksgiving 😂 cannot wait for some spaghetti corn cheese dish (heaven) and yams. And cranberry. Even if I don’t feel better imma do my best. 

saladflambe

I hope i'm decent by thankgiving too given that I'm hosting and have to cook

chaos-and-coffee

My DH has a massive family and there’s been 5 babies born in the last 18 months. Last night someone was joking about how we need to chill and take a break from having babies. Little do they know...and also I really have no plans to tell them I’m pregnant and they can just figure it out when h they see me. 

mrs_and_mrs_booker

Question for all due in mid-June 2020... when is/was your first appointment? My wife is due around that time (she's not into boards so I'm here instead). The doctor says that she's gonna be high risk as she has extra fluid on the brain, but our first appointment isn't until 11/14. I've noticed that some women on our group 3 boards have had their first appointment, or will be doing so this week. With her being high risk, I feel like 9 weeks is a little delayed for a first appointment. Maybe I'm just too eager since this will be our first, but just curious! 

pourmeanothermocktail

Surprise husband business trip, my mom who is my only sitter really has a family emergency thing and is leaving for a few weeks, and my youngest and I are still working on getting over a cold from the last almost 3 weeks, plus pregnancy symptoms, and now having to trudge through ice and snow for two blocks, twice per day, for my 3 year old.....I'm pretty done with November already. Thanksgiving is going to involve a 6 hour road trip, 6 major food allergies to handle, and trying to figure out how to get kids to sleep (and use toilet) in an unfamiliar place. So really....not excited about that either.

runwmusic

@mrs_and_mrs_booker usually first appointments are at 8 weeks but I am not sure is high risk is different. Those conceiving with fertility help typically get seen sooner as well as anyone with complications. If your Dr knows of your wife's condition and has a 9 week set, try to see it as a good thing. That means they aren't concerned enough to see you sooner! 

kiki75

@mrs_and_mrs_booker Unless someone like an RE was basically running the cycle, they try to schedule that initial ultrasound for a date when you’re more likely to get definitive results. For example, with my RE, my ultrasound was scheduled for 7 weeks because they knew for certain when I ovulated and then chose 7 weeks as a time when there should definitely be cardiac activity. Instead of say 6+2 where you’re going, “well maybe it’s just too early??” With this one, I’m not certain of when I ovulated but my appointment for my first ultrasound at 8 weeks was still scheduled in a way where even if I ovulated later than most, I’d be more likely to have a definitive ultrasound. Waiting for the first one sucks but it’s another level to have had an unclear ultrasound and be waiting a week or two for a follow up to see if there’s been sufficient growth. As for your wife’s medical issues, I’m not certain exactly how those and pregnancy would interact (like for some first tri is normal hard but it’s when you get further along that they need to do extra monitoring or ones where birth is the actual stress point or whatever) but it sounds like since her team is aware and this is the date they set, it’s what they’re comfortable with for her. 

diagonalley

I just realized last night that my next appointment is scheduled with the midwife that I did NOT care for at all at my first appointment.  Am I being whiny if I call and try to get someone else?

mrs_and_mrs_booker

Thank you @runwmusic & @kiki75, I think I just need to chill and let the doctors do their thing! *Woo-sahhhhhhh* 

alli392

@diagonalley no. You are advocating for yourself if you do that. I’ve been known to ask residents to leave I didn’t like working with when hospitalized so I’m a big believer in you need to do what feel comfortable doing and what is right for you and your baby. 


And while I’m on that soapbox, ladies please find a doctor that you like and trust. I cannot emphasize enough how important that is. With my first, as a high risk lupus patient, the fact that I loved my doctor was the only thing that kept me strong when facing complications. You don’t want to be second guessing your doctor when something goes wrong, you want to deal with it ahead of time. So please don’t be complacent about it. Okay rant over. 

pourmeanothermocktail

diagonalley said:

I just realized last night that my next appointment is scheduled with the midwife that I did NOT care for at all at my first appointment.  Am I being whiny if I call and try to get someone else?

Not at all. If you're not comfortable with her, I would stay away. Self care and respecting your needs!!

mindyb2019

@diagonalley I agree with the others and what they have said. Definitely go for it and don’t feel bad about it. If you don’t feel comfortable then by means choose someone else. It’s what is best for you. I would do the same if I didn’t care for her. 

MaximumEffort

I just realised we are all wanting Pho but we arent suppose to be eating raw sprouts...doh.  one of my favorite parts.

pourmeanothermocktail

MaximumEffort said:

I just realised we are all wanting Pho but we arent suppose to be eating raw sprouts...doh.  one of my favorite parts.

FFFC- I eat what I want to, bring on the raw sprouts. 

chaos-and-coffee

@diagonalley with DS, my OB broke her leg 3 weeks before I was due. I did not advocate for myself and was bounced around a midwife and 3 doctors before landing on a doctor, who ended up inducing at 40+1. It was fine because DS and I are healthy and were safe, but I regret not doing more research in what I wanted. Definitely ask for a different provider. 

maryanne2019

My favorite place in the world for pho gives a huge mound of raw sprouts... I love them, but haven’t had them during this pregnancy yet...  

been munching on halloween candy all day... anyone else?

maryanne2019

What’s everyone doing this weekend?  Can’t think of anything to do for date night now that drinking is out. I know that’s sad but been going to all the movies and plays and am out of ideas!

diagonalley

Ok I didn't have an opportunity to call today before they closed, but I will call on Monday. I like all of the doctors there and I really like the one NP I've seen before, too. I never saw this lady during either of my previous pregnancies and I just really didn't care for her condescending tone. Lady, I'm not a child. I'm 35 years old. I've also done this, twice, so I have a bit of a clue what happens. 

And it's not just me. DH also mentioned not caring for her, either.

pourmeanothermocktail

My son and I survived birth abuse due to a whole team of doctors that obviously weren't right for us, or maybe anyone. Long term physical effects. Please everyone, educate, advocate, and change doctors as necessary. Please don't be bullied or coerced. 

etc auto correct fail

kiki75

@maryanne2019 I sometimes do a few sprouts in pho but I make sure to put them in when the broth is still blazing, cook the meat hot. But not a whole pile that will bring the temp down a bunch. But sprouts sprinkled on pad Thai? It’s a no for me. For me, it’s about understanding why things are considered risky, how these germs work, and then either just avoiding things, especially if they’re not worth it (anything that I don’t love or will be a sad version is a pass) or mitigating the risk. Like if I were absolutely dying for a roast beef sandwich, I’d go somewhere where it’s fresh sliced for each sandwich like Jersey Mike’s instead of a place like Subway where it was sliced who knows how long ago & listeria has had the chance to just keep on growing on it. 

bbluemoo

Honestly, after listening to (most of) Expecting Better, I’m really not that worried about what I’m eating or doing during pregnancy. I know that it’s not the be all end all, but when she talks about the actual statistics behind these “rules” most of them seem really stupid. I’m not worried about getting listeria from sprouts, especially if it’s coming from a restaurant I’ve eaten at dozens of times before and survived.

runwmusic

@bbluemoo I love that book. It's so eye opening to these rules that were around when our moms were pregnant with us. 

hayhay2501

Food rules are such a minefield. The UK is so much more lax than the US and I’m not sure if that’s because of better food hygiene or what. I remember when I was pregnant with DD in Italy I ate charcuterie and in a google panic found four different advices on if it was okay to eat. 

chaos-and-coffee

I went to bed at 7:30 pm last night. 

saladflambe

I drank a big-ass 18-oz cold pressed juice yesterday from a local place only to realize mid-way through that it was not pasteurized.

I still finished it.

mindyb2019

@chaos-and-coffee omg 7:30pm? Nice lol. I’m jealous haha. I went to bed at 9:30pm but I was falling asleep on the couch at 8pm lol. 

@saladflambe what kind of juice were you drinking? 

@hayhay2501 mmmm I LOVE Charcuterie 😁 I miss eating those. I agree. The UK is way much more relax when it comes to food rules. 

saladflambe

@mindyb2019 it's orange, ginger, turmeric, and cayenne ...it's called "Sassy Sunshine"

mindyb2019

@saladflambe hmmm.. that sounds like an interesting juice. I like the name haha 😆 kudos to you for finishing it all 

pourmeanothermocktail

@hayhay2501 I think it's because US lawyers and lawsuits are crazy about suing over everything and for crazy high amounts and they win. So we freak out about liability, for everything.

diagonalley

Food safety is a sensitive subject for me considering my child got e coli. I do think there is work to be done and considering I know some families who have had to sue to pay their absurdly large medical bills, people should be held liable.

4 years ago today my kid was hospitalized and it lasted 24 days. He needed dialysis and several transfusions, among other things, in order to survive. He continues to be monitored and will be for the rest of his life. I have a friend whose daughter had the same thing (years prior) and needed a kidney transplant as a result.

Honestly I don't think we do enough 🤷‍♀️

pourmeanothermocktail

@diagonalley Ouch, I'm really sorry you guys had to go through that! I totally agree that the US could and should do better at getting us food safely. But I think doctors just blindly telling us to stay away from all (insert super long list here) foods, because it could get contaminated is due to doctors afraid of liability of food safety, which IMO is overstepping reasonable suing. Blame doctor that they didn't tell you that ice cream might be contaminated? Dumb. Amongst many other silly things that people get sued over. 

I personally think that genus healthcare costs were reasonable (like, even a non-citizen in Germany for instance can get ER care including blood work, xrays, and CAT scan for maybe $200-$300, rather than the $10,000 my ER trip cost last month...), we all wouldn't have to sue over everything, because we wouldn't be broke/bankrupt/homeless over medical charges. 

Sorry, for the soap box. I do think food needs to be safer. But I also know that the things they tell us to avoid aren't even always the most likely to be contaminated and by no means are they the only high contaminant foods. Listeria has broken out in the following during my pregnancies. I can't just not eat any of these. Bread, ice cream, ground beef, apples, mangoes, granola, lettuce (iceberg and romaine), peppers, and many others I don't remember. 

kerco925

I mostly follow the food rules, even though I know most of it's BS and the foods most likely to be contaminated arent on the list.  I follow them, because if anything were to happen after trying for a healthy pregnancy for so long, I would never forgive myself.  

hayhay2501

@diagonalley I’m so sorry you had to go through that so terrifying. It sort of scares me how lax American food regulation is compared to here. We are literally told it’s safe to eat raw eggs here because eggs are so regulated. I couldn’t trust American eggs to the same level. Same with sandwich meat. Totally safe to eat cold here. 

@pourmeanothermocktail I could stand on a soap box about the American healthcare system for days on end. My family had to make so many tough sacrifices when my mom got cancer so we could keep insurance. Her bi weekly chemo was $15k a pop. My daughter had a severe infection after birth and had to stay in hospital for a week and have a lumbar puncture. Our bill... ZERO. 

hayhay2501

On the subject of US vs UK here’s the where to have your baby handout the midwife gave me. Interesting how home birth is displayed as the best option! I’m hoping for birth centre this time but I know lots of ladies who have had great home births. Just not for me! 

pourmeanothermocktail

@hayhay2501 My first son was a $30,000+ per day baby for his first 20 days. Even more the first 7 of them, due to ventilator. It was at least partly due to doctor incompetence and abuse. I had complications...and I still couldn't find a lawyer to help me sue, because no one died or had a noticeable disability afterwards. I was so pissed. OK, still am. 

diagonalley

Our healthcare is ridiculously messed up. I am fortunate that my coverage is pretty amazing, but that's because it is what my employer offers. It's not even remotely fair that people have to pay the bills they do.

lizanet

My first appointment is in 2 days and I am excited. Anxious and EXHAUSTED. 
i have no patience because I am not sleeping. When I am sleepy the nausea wont let me lay down comfortably. 
I pray I am better by thanksgiving. Thats my fave holiday.