Weekly Randoms 10/14

Malidocious · October 2019

@stassischroeder I just laughed out loud at "lovingly caressing my intestines" bahahaha! Gonna have to start telling that to my partner when he's rubbing my tummy.

treetop19 · October 2019

well... just got back from DS's IEP meeting for preschool, and the good news is he is up to par and is now developmentally on-track to where he should be. I'm stoked about that, if someone would have told me 2 years ago when I was panicking over his speech delay that he would get the services he needed and all would be fine, that would have made my day.

bad news is, this means he is getting kicked out of preschool when he turns 4 in Feb ( the preschool is for special education students only and functions as a part of the public school system, so the state funds only kids who actually need to go there.. which makes sense.) but still, sad for us, because it means if we want to keep him in a preschool we're going to have to start paying for one.. and with a new LO on the way, that might be out of the question for a little while at least (while I'm on maternity leave, and throughout the summer, when DD will take over helping out.) I know DS will miss it for sure, he loves school... so we'll probably have to get him in something next fall. Dang it.. I was looking forward to him going off to school in the afternoons when I was on maternity leave with LO so I could get naps in.... now this opens up a can of no-sleep worms for me...

lemonlove86 · October 2019

What a great milestone for DS! Congratulations on all the hard work @treetop19

Malidocious · October 2019

@treetop19 That's so great for your son!! I get that it opens a can of worms because it's definitely not fun for you, having to unexpectedly find a new preschool and pay for it. But still! So happy for you/him!

silverhope · October 2019

@treetop19 that is wonderful about your son. Hope you can figure out how to nap if he isn’t in preschool during mat leave though!

stac4056 · October 2019

@mrsvp614 nooooooooo, your pants, so glad you had the sweater!! Congrats on the new schedule!!
@chichiphin I feel like this baby is so low at 20 weeks still. I have some prolapse issues from my first so when I was pregnant with DS it was a huge relief when my uterus popped up off of everything else. That glorious feeling has not happened with this one yet and I'm losing hope that it will. Lots of pressure in my vagass area already and her movements feel so low. I def agree with @stassischroeder the majority of my bump is something else!! Co-workers are randomly touching me way more often this time around and it's not down where I can feel the baby, so I guess I should be grateful for that!!
@kagesstarshroom Sorry, that sounds so miserable. I only have heartburn in pregnancy and only toward the end. Pre preg me always wondered what it felt like as I knew people who had it regularly, so I would think oh maybe this is it, or this is it. Until I actually felt it during pregnancy, oh damn, THIS is it, terrible.
@treetop19 So exciting about your DS!!! Hate that you have to leave your school that you are familiar with though. Daycare decisions have dominated my thoughts so much of my life already and we haven't even gotten into real school yet, I'm a little scared.

hmjensen · October 2019

Playing big catch-up here, too!
@miss.sally your pumpkin bread sounds amazing and I’m jealous of your baking skills. I never bake. Want to send me some? 😂
@mrsvp614 oh nooooo about the ripped leggings! Glad you had one female coworker to help you out but definitely think you deserve the refund.
@treetop19 big congrats on your son’s milestone! I know you’re proud of him but it’s okay to also feel sad about leaving a school you’ve been happy with.
@kagesstarshroom i hope the Prilosec gives you some relief. You deserve a break from heartburn!

afm I just went to ridiculous lengths to get a vending machine poptart. Didn’t eat at home (mistake #1) and was staaaaarving here at work and we’re doing an outdoor at-school field trip all morning so I knew hungry me would be a disaster. Thought I had a couple dollars in my wallet but I didn’t....cue me out in the parking lot in front of kiss&ride arriving parents scrounging up ALL the loose change in my car until I found the right amount!

miss.sally · October 2019

Getting real here for a minute. And this will probably be a long post. I’m starting to get major anxiety about weight gain/gaining too much weight. I hadn’t gained anything up until this point but over the last couple weeks I’ve added almost 5 pounds. Logically I know that’s like... not a lot. I *know* it’s normal to gain weight in pregnancy, and in my others I never really worried about it. I’m guessing this is stemming from the fact that I was in the process of trying to lose 40lbs when I found out I was KU. I really wanted to be in a better place physically before I got pregnant again, so starting this pregnancy at my heaviest weight ever, isn’t helping. I wouldn’t necessarily classify myself as ever having an actual eating disorder, but I definitely skirted the line for many years prior to kids/and right after having my first. I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud. I just don’t get why logically I know it’s normal to gain weight, but somehow I’m having major anxiety anyways. It’s causing me to be in a not-great place mentally. I don’t know how to get out of that. It also doesn’t help that I’m not allowed to workout at all right now, which is definitely a brain-clearing, mind-calming activity for me normally. I can’t even go for a walk because it causes my tailbone pain to flare up. And I can’t talk to H about any of this because honestly he feeds into it. He’s extremely fit, goes to the gym multiple times a week, and doesn’t understand how anybody could *not* be that way. It’s caused many a tiff between us. I’m kind of hoping he can’t make it to my next OB appointment so that I can talk to her about it without him there. Although when I brought it up at my first appointment she wouldn’t even talk about weight gain because she doesn’t believe in making women feel guilty for gaining too much OR not gaining enough. Unless it’s a huge problem obviously.

I’m sorry for the ramble-book. I needed to get that off my chest. Whew.

stassischroeder · October 2019

@miss.sally First of all, big hugs! Pregnancy is such an emotional roller-coaster for many reasons - body image being one of them. I'm sorry DH isn't more supportive and understanding!
I mean this in the kindest, most genuine way possible: how in the world could you lose 40 lbs and still be healthy? I don't for a second look at your pics and think you need to lose ANY weight.
Have you considered talking to a therapist about this stuff? Your OB is a good place to start, but I personally feel that we can all benefit from going to therapy! If for no other reason than staying mentally sound for our kids.

chichiphin · October 2019

@miss.sally I echo what stassi has said... Start with your OB, and maybe she can refer you to someone else. I know my OB has a group they refer to that is specific to women's behavior health for these exact reasons.

Also, have you been able to get to a PT or chiro for that tailbone pain? light exercise may make a world of difference - I know it does for me.

I've also had to be VERY real with MH, so is extremely fit & would eat grilled chicken and brown rice every day if he could. I hope YH can be more understanding, but also just tell him not to go to your OB appt next time if you think it'll cause an issue.

miss.sally · October 2019

@stassischroeder and @chichiphin I think my body hides it well, but I’m definitely carrying around an extra 40lb! Even talked to my PCP about that so I promise it isn’t an unhealthy goal.

I used to go to a therapist, and while I did feel like it helped some, it just wasn’t financially feasible at the time. I’ll talk to my OB at my next appointment and see what she says.

stassischroeder · October 2019

@miss.sally

stac4056 · October 2019

@miss.sally sorry you're feeling that way!! Since we were on the fence about number three for a bit, I was a little bummed to know that that effort I had put in to getting into shape prior to this pregnancy would be going by the wayside. I wish I was one who could stay fit and active during pregnancy, but I barely can do so as a non pregnant person, so not much hope for me. If it helps you, I'm telling myself it's just 20 more weeks and this being my last I can get as fit as I want at the end of this journey and hopefully maintain, just give yourself some love these last few months. Or maybe you could make your husband do the research on some low impact on your tailbone exercises you could do if he feels himself such a guru!!

miss.sally · October 2019

Thank you @stac4056. Unfortunately I’m not allowed to do any type of exercise per my doctor/cardiologist until we figure out what is causing my heart palpitations.

silverhope · October 2019

@miss.sally I am extremely nervous about weight gain too since this is my second and I just don’t know how different this time will be. I’ve been tracking it on an app and comparing to my last pregnancy and driving myself bonkers. I’m so sorry it’s taking a toll on your mental health and I’m sorry YH is unsupportive (my H is also EXTREMELY into fitness, but he *usually* does not judge me. He sometimes judges what I eat bc I do eat horribly, but he usually realizes that he is the one who is obsessive and he doesn’t need to push that on me). I appreciate that your OB thinks she’s helping by not talking to her patients about weight but I think if you explain to her it’s a major source of anxiety and worry and you are looking for resources, she will help you. I agree with stassi that I don’t see how 40 lb weight loss could be healthy bc you looked and look amazing and fit, but I know gaining weight when you (a few months ago) were looking to lose weight can be very demoralizing and mind-effing. Do you think prenatal yoga would bother your tailbone? There is a prenatal yoga place in my town and everyone is so nice and we spend the first few minutes discussing our pregnancy fears and issues and then do easy stretching. I like having a safe, open place to talk about my pregnancy with other women going through the same thing.

@chichiphin DH actually does eat brown rice and grilled chicken (plus a veggie) pretty much every. single. day. He works out every day and is infuriating

but at least easy to cook for.

miss.sally · October 2019

@silverhope I would LOVE to try prenatal yoga. There aren’t many studios around here though so I’ve found some videos on prime. I’m hoping I’ll get cleared to exercise at my cardiologist appointment this Tuesday.

EmilyLove25 · October 2019

@miss.sally I'm repeating a bit of what has been said. My background sounds a lot like yours. I have skirted around having an eating disorder from 18-26 and it flared up again briefly around 29. Once I had kids, it went away (nearly) entirely. One thing that has been CRITICAL for me is NOT weighing myself. Since you are getting so caught up on the number, I strongly urge you to not weigh yourself and to ask that they not tell you at your appointment. I do this each time and have throughout all pregnancies. No nurse or doctor has EVER batted an eye at me. I consider this critical to my mental health, and I am (based on your post) not as focused on it as you are (at this point in life... ZERO judgment... I just say this to indicate that if it causes you stress at all, I think it is best to not look). I tell the doctor, "please only tell me if it is a concern" and have NEVER been told except with my son when it was way too low (yay vomit). Hugs! As others said, I also exercise during pregnancy which helps immensely. I hope you find a way to not focus on it as much!

treetop19 · October 2019

@stac4056, @miss.sally, @silverhope, solidarity on the weight gain. I feel like this pregnancy has been the worst of the 3 for me in terms of symptoms and weight gain. I can't help but wonder if this is because I'm older... I, too, was working out and trying to lose weight prior to this pregnancy, and felt like I was doing pretty well in terms of working out each day... but not in terms of dropping the weight. I think after my first pregnancy (which I never got back to pre-baby size after) I kind of just accepted that I wasn't getting my old body back ever again - some people are able to, my body is just apparently stubborn. it took a whole lot of self-depreciation and sadness before I finally came to acceptance, though, and I can't really give you advice on how to get there because I think it's different for every person. even now, I don't like to shop for clothes, which I used to love prior to pregnancy.

lemonlove86 · October 2019

I totally hear you @miss.sally. I ended therapy maybe 3ish months before I got KU and I had done a lot of work around my body and body image, and then everything was totally thrown for a loop when I started gaining weight which also clues me in that I still have work to do around body image. I 100% agree with @EmilyLove25, I don't have a scale at home and don't weigh myself in between appointments. Something small that has helped is following more body positive people on instagram, although most of the accounts I follow aren't pregnant.

mrsvp614 · October 2019

@miss.sally Sending you love! I also agree that you look incredible to me! But I also understand that body image is so tough, especially during pregnancy. I lost 35 pounds in the last year before I was KU, but it only got me back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and I've been overweight ever since I can remember. I'm dreading the work to lose it all again, so I'm trying to enjoy this time as much as I can.
I was also going to suggest what @EmilyLove25 said, and not weigh yourself, and request the doctor's office to not tell you, or even let you turn around on the scale so you aren't tempted to look either. I've heard of several women doing this, especially during pregnancy, for their emotional health.

miss.sally · October 2019

@EmilyLove25 and @mrsvp614 I definitely shouldn’t weight myself. I’ve tried that route but end up getting even more anxious. Which is ridiculous, I know.

I have an appointment in two weeks with my OB so I’ll definitely bring it up to her and see what she says. I think it actually isn’t with my main one who wouldn’t talk to me about it before, so I may get some alternate advice.

AAAG13 · October 2019

@miss.sally thank you for sharing. I think many of us are feeling the same way as you are and this topic is something that should not be ignored. Last fall I was really depressed with myself and the weight I was still carrying around with DD from 2 years ago. I also really wanted to be pregnant with baby #2 but financially it made more sense to wait a year. Anyways in January, DH and I got serious and we both lost 50 lbs by May. I’m saying this long back story to explain that I know what it’s like to OBSESS over weight gain/loss and what I eat. In order to lose and stay in shape I have to be meticulous in what I eat. For the whole first half of the year I counted everything, weighed my food, and pretracked the entire week of food. The switch to pregnancy eating (aversions, cravings, and increased appetite) has been difficult.

@treetop19 said my pre-pregnancy body is just different from my post- pregnancy body. Even though I was down to my pre-baby weight I still was just shaped different. I am able to accept that and be proud of the strength my body has.

So while weight gain during pregnancy can be a mind f, just know that you are beautiful and bad ass for creating those awesome little people!

AAAG13 · October 2019

Well I let hormones get the best of me and I cried at work today. Mainly because DD is having such a hard time with preschool. She goes to the same school I teach at and while we aren’t in the same building I do work with her teacher.

Her teacher is new and young and is clearly struggling with how to deal with a strong willed child like DD (who is 3). Almost daily her teacher has come to me while I am working to tell me how “bad” DD has been. Today it just got to me and I am not sure what to do. Half of me sees that DD does like going to school, even though she has left crying three days this week. The other half feels like I pushed her into preschool too early. She just turned 3 at the end of July but is very articulate and responsive so I wanted her in with other kids to learn.

What concerns me is that I feel her teacher has given up on her and has labeled her as the “bad” kid. Today she made a passive aggressive comment to DD about her behavior. I know as a teacher and a parent that it’s not the way to go about things. Add that onto the fact that I dropped my lunch straight out the microwave all over the floor. Thus leading me to be the crazy lady who cried over spilled chicken.

lemonlove86 · October 2019

@AAAG13 that teacher's behavior is unacceptable! First, she shouldn't be coming to you during the school day just because you happen to work together. Does she call other parents during the day? Probably not. Also, kids at 3 aren't "bad," they just have skills to learn AND/OR the teacher needs to be more flexible and notice what's developmentally appropriate for a 3 year old in school for the first time! I'm mad at that with you too!

silverhope · October 2019

@AAAG13 completely agree with @lemonlove86 wtaf is wrong with her teacher that she thinks it’s okay to disrupt ur day at work and talk to you about DD’s behavior? She’s 3. Of course she isn’t perfectly behaved at all times. I’m sorry this teacher is new and having a hard time adapting, but maybe being a preschool teacher isn’t for her bc she sounds like a moron and rude.

Also, I’ve stated this before and will day is again: I always cry over food when pregnant. It’s what I get most emotional about ha. So you had every right to cry over that spilt chicken.

hmjensen · October 2019

@miss.sally to echo what others have said, thanks a lot for having the strength to share this here. I’m sorry that’s the path you’re walking right now, but am glad you are not ignoring your feelings and seem to have some steps to try to address it. I hope you are able to find someone (whether a therapist or just a different doctor in your practice like you said) to process your thoughts soon. 💜

treetop19 · October 2019

@AAG13, I don't blame you for crying! It hurts when people assume your kid is 'bad', they often point their fingers at mom or dad like the parenting is the issue. My DS is 3 as well, and has dealt with some behavioral issues (which is partially why he qualified for his special needs preschool - in his case, his behavior was a result of a developmental delay in social-emotional development and speech) but I've had a few instances with rude people insinuating that I wasn't doing my job. I took DS to an event at DD's school, and he was being loud, but I had to stay because I needed to be there for DD (normally I would take DS out so as not to disturb others.) Anyway, about partially through the program, some guy randomly yelled at me to 'deal with that kid.' well.. being in the first tri and emotional anyway.. I had to abruptly leave and I cried. I felt like such a failure as a mom.

Sometimes kids act up - especially strong-willed kids, and especially toddlers/preschoolers. The good news is, that strong will serves them well later in life, when they go through tough times and they don't give up. And, with maturity, they will often learn to behave. People that sideline-parent and try to bring you down are just small thinkers, in my opinion. They have no idea what it's like to raise 'your' particular child, they have no idea what developmental milestones 'your' child has reached, and they have no idea of the circumstances (whether the child is hungry, tired, emotional due to something else, ect.)

EmilyLove25 · October 2019

@AAAG13 Yikes. With hormones etc. I'd probably cry too. As others have said, this is really on the teacher. Your daughter CAN'T be bad, because she is three... and she doesn't have an evolved sense of morality or ethics yet, because, you know, she's three! Does this teacher not have children of her own yet? Just curious mostly... Making a passive aggressive comment to your child about her behavior is unacceptable. I hope SHE evolves.

mrsvp614 · October 2019

Random Rant: I'm bummed. Our favorite teacher in DS's class resigned. We just switched him to this place in August, and a selling point was that the teachers had been there for years, as opposed to lots of turnover that we had been dealing with at our other center.

Random Rave: I am excited for the weekend. We're taking DS to his first college football game tomorrow and the zoo's Halloween event on Sunday.

Random PSA: Spend $75 on baby stuff at Target, and get a $15 gift card. We needed diapers and pull-ups for DS, so we added a big box of diapers and wipes for new baby too.

EmilyLove25 · October 2019

@mrsvp614 I didn't realize Target was doing that promotion now. Do you need to bring anything with you?

stacey6689 · October 2019

Random rave: Survived my Brazilian wax today and there is a Panera bread next door so I treated myself to there broccoli cheddar soup and a big piece of bread for lunch. It’s a Good Friday lol

mrsvp614 · October 2019

@EmilyLove25 I saw it online and just ordered a pickup order. But in the past, there are signs that are posted in the baby aisles, and they hand you a gift card when you make the purchase. It's an automatic thing.

AAAG13 · October 2019

Thanks for the support ladies! My principal saw that I was upset and wanted to know what was up. I have a decently close relationship with him bc I have a leadership role in the school. I shared with him my concerns and he said he wanted to address the comment she made and was pretty pissed that she has been coming to me during the school day. DH wants to give her one more chance before we pull DD. One thing that I’m worried about is next year. The four year old teachers are amazing and have been there for over 10 years. So I know I will want her to come back next year. Either way I’m going to do what’s best for her and if that makes things awkward with one other person on the staff so be it.

miss.sally · October 2019

I got some chenille leggings at Costco the other day and I’m finally wearing them today and omg they are LIFE. Obviously they’re an around-the-house-only type of pant because they make me look like a literal teddy bear. But omg you guys. If you have a tendency to always be cold like I do - go find yourself a pair ASAP!

miss.sally · October 2019

Secret is out! Not that it was ever a secret. Lol. But I finally posted on social media. Cheesiest of cheese ball basic over here.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/8f/8ajqqhipoc9c.jpeg

wednesdayschild · October 2019

I know it’s a totally arbitrary day and that due dates are usually wrong etc etc, but happy HALFWAY DAY to me. And happy early or belated halfway days for everyone else 🥳

varimama · October 2019

@pdx2020 it’s my halfway day too! Congrats to you as well!

Malidocious · October 2019

@miss.sally I meant to respond last week, but naturally my life got chaotic (I ended up having to get stitches in my face). I have struggled with an eating disorder for all of my adult life. I was 16 years old when my depression flared up and it manifested through anorexia. That eventually morphed into bulimia over the years, and ever since then, I've had an incredibly bad relationship with food and body image. I got into a routine of very carefully monitoring what I eat every second of every day, and I had to work out hard each morning otherwise my entire day would be ruined. I was doing a relatively good job of sticking to a healthier lifestyle (focused more on exercising the right way and not indulging my binge-eating-desires) until I got pregnant. Now it's like shit has hit the fan and I don't even know what to do. I hate the way I look, though. I feel gigantic and I am struggling with putting on weight. I know I was pretty underweight when I got KU, but the transition to a normal/healthy body weight and then gaining even more weight as the pregnancy has developed has been soooooooo hard.

I know others have chimed in and let you know that you're not alone, but I just to let you know that I get it, too. I understand how you're feeling and I'm sorry you are struggling.

silverhope · October 2019

Edited: nevermind. Found the thread where u said what happened. Ouch and ugh! So sorry. Glad u get the stitches out Weds. @Malidocious

Malidocious face stitches?!?! What happened?

i’m so sorry life keeps smacking you. The universe must be sending a lot of good stuff your way soon since you’ve endured so much lately.

Malidocious · October 2019

@silverhope I certainly so!! *fingers crossed* I can't take much more negativity!

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