March 2020 Moms

Weekly Randoms 10/14

2

Re: Weekly Randoms 10/14

  • @stassischroeder I just laughed out loud at "lovingly caressing my intestines" bahahaha!  Gonna have to start telling that to my partner when he's rubbing my tummy.
  • Loading the player...
  • What a great milestone for DS! Congratulations on all the hard work @treetop19
  • @treetop19 That's so great for your son!!  I get that it opens a can of worms because it's definitely not fun for you, having to unexpectedly find a new preschool and pay for it. But still!  So happy for you/him!
  • @treetop19 that is wonderful about your son. Hope you can figure out how to nap if he isn’t in preschool during mat leave though!
    Me: 32 | DH: 35
    Married: 8/22/15
    BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18 
    BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy  Baby Tracker

  • Getting real here for a minute. And this will probably be a long post. I’m starting to get major anxiety about weight gain/gaining too much weight. I hadn’t gained anything up until this point but over the last couple weeks I’ve added almost 5 pounds. Logically I know that’s like... not a lot. I *know* it’s normal to gain weight in pregnancy, and in my others I never really worried about it. I’m guessing this is stemming from the fact that I was in the process of trying to lose 40lbs when I found out I was KU. I really wanted to be in a better place physically before I got pregnant again, so starting this pregnancy at my heaviest weight ever, isn’t helping. I wouldn’t necessarily classify myself as ever having an actual eating disorder, but I definitely skirted the line for many years prior to kids/and right after having my first. I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud. I just don’t get why logically I know it’s normal to gain weight, but somehow I’m having major anxiety anyways. It’s causing me to be in a not-great place mentally. I don’t know how to get out of that. It also doesn’t help that I’m not allowed to workout at all right now, which is definitely a brain-clearing, mind-calming activity for me normally. I can’t even go for a walk because it causes my tailbone pain to flare up. And I can’t talk to H about any of this because honestly he feeds into it. He’s extremely fit, goes to the gym multiple times a week, and doesn’t understand how anybody could *not* be that way. It’s caused many a tiff between us. I’m kind of hoping he can’t make it to my next OB appointment so that I can talk to her about it without him there. Although when I brought it up at my first appointment she wouldn’t even talk about weight gain because she doesn’t believe in making women feel guilty for gaining too much OR not gaining enough. Unless it’s a huge problem obviously. 

    I’m sorry for the ramble-book. I needed to get that off my chest. Whew. 
  • @stassischroeder and @chichiphin I think my body hides it well, but I’m definitely carrying around an extra 40lb! Even talked to my PCP about that so I promise it isn’t an unhealthy goal. 

    I used to go to a therapist, and while I did feel like it helped some, it just wasn’t financially feasible at the time. I’ll talk to my OB at my next appointment and see what she says. 


  • *Formerly LuND*
    Me: 35 | DH: 37
    TTC: 7/2016
    Low AMH, mild MFI
    BFP 7/29/17
    EDD: 4/5/18
    <3  DS born 4/4/18  <3
    BFP #2 7/2/19
    EDD 3/13/20


  • @miss.sally sorry you're feeling that way!! Since we were on the fence about number three for a bit, I was a little bummed to know that that effort I had put in to getting into shape prior to this pregnancy would be going by the wayside. I wish I was one who could stay fit and active during pregnancy, but I barely can do so as a non pregnant person, so not much hope for me. If it helps you, I'm telling myself it's just 20 more weeks and this being my last I can get as fit as I want at the end of this journey and hopefully maintain, just give yourself some love these last few months. Or maybe you could make your husband do the research on some low impact on your tailbone exercises you could do if he feels himself such a guru!!
  • Thank you @stac4056. Unfortunately I’m not allowed to do any type of exercise per my doctor/cardiologist until we figure out what is causing my heart palpitations. 
  • @miss.sally I am extremely nervous about weight gain too since this is my second and I just don’t know how different this time will be. I’ve been tracking it on an app and comparing to my last pregnancy and driving myself bonkers. I’m so sorry it’s taking a toll on your mental health and I’m sorry YH is unsupportive (my H is also EXTREMELY into fitness, but he *usually* does not judge me. He sometimes judges what I eat bc I do eat horribly, but he usually realizes that he is the one who is obsessive and he doesn’t need to push that on me). I appreciate that your OB thinks she’s helping by not talking to her patients about weight but I think if you explain to her it’s a major source of anxiety and worry and you are looking for resources, she will help you. I agree with stassi that I don’t see how 40 lb weight loss could be healthy bc you looked and look amazing and fit, but I know gaining weight when you (a few months ago) were looking to lose weight can be very demoralizing and mind-effing. Do you think prenatal yoga would bother your tailbone? There is a prenatal yoga place in my town and everyone is so nice and we spend the first few minutes discussing our pregnancy fears and issues and then do easy stretching. I like having a safe, open place to talk about my pregnancy with other women going through the same thing.  


    @chichiphin DH actually does eat brown rice and grilled chicken (plus a veggie) pretty much every. single. day. He works out every day and is infuriating  :D but at least easy to cook for. 
    Me: 32 | DH: 35
    Married: 8/22/15
    BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18 
    BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy  Baby Tracker

  • @silverhope I would LOVE to try prenatal yoga. There aren’t many studios around here though so I’ve found some videos on prime. I’m hoping I’ll get cleared to exercise at my cardiologist appointment this Tuesday. 
  • @stac4056, @miss.sally, @silverhope, solidarity on the weight gain.  I feel like this pregnancy has been the worst of the 3 for me in terms of symptoms and weight gain.  I can't help but wonder if this is because I'm older...  I, too, was working out and trying to lose weight prior to this pregnancy, and felt like I was doing pretty well in terms of working out each day... but not in terms of dropping the weight.  I think after my first pregnancy (which I never got back to pre-baby size after) I kind of just accepted that I wasn't getting my old body back ever again - some people are able to, my body is just apparently stubborn.  it took a whole lot of self-depreciation and sadness before I finally came to acceptance, though, and I can't really give you advice on how to get there because I think it's different for every person.   even now, I don't like to shop for clothes, which I used to love prior to pregnancy.  
  • I totally hear you @miss.sally. I ended therapy maybe 3ish months before I got KU and I had done a lot of work around my body and body image, and then everything was totally thrown for a loop when I started gaining weight which also clues me in that I still have work to do around body image.  I 100% agree with @EmilyLove25, I don't have a scale at home and don't weigh myself in between appointments. Something small that has helped is following more body positive people on instagram, although  most of the accounts I follow aren't pregnant. 
  • @miss.sally Sending you love! I also agree that you look incredible to me! But I also understand that body image is so tough, especially during pregnancy. I lost 35 pounds in the last year before I was KU, but it only got me back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and I've been overweight ever since I can remember. I'm dreading the work to lose it all again, so I'm trying to enjoy this time as much as I can.
    I was also going to suggest what @EmilyLove25 said, and not weigh yourself, and request the doctor's office to not tell you, or even let you turn around on the scale so you aren't tempted to look either. I've heard of several women doing this, especially during pregnancy, for their emotional health. 
    Me: 33 DH: 33
    Married: 10.15.16
    BFP: 12.24.16
    DS BD: 8.20.17
    TTC #2 1.1.19
    BFP #2 7.3.19
    EDD #2 3.13.20
  • @EmilyLove25 and @mrsvp614 I definitely shouldn’t weight myself. I’ve tried that route but end up getting even more anxious. Which is ridiculous, I know. 

    I have an appointment in two weeks with my OB so I’ll definitely bring it up to her and see what she says. I think it actually isn’t with my main one who wouldn’t talk to me about it before, so I may get some alternate advice. 
  • AAAG13AAAG13 member
    edited October 2019
    @miss.sally thank you for sharing. I think many of us are feeling the same way as you are and this topic is something that should not be ignored. Last fall I was really depressed with myself and the weight I was still carrying around with DD from 2 years ago. I also really wanted to be pregnant with baby #2 but financially it made more sense to wait a year. Anyways in January, DH and I got serious and we both lost 50 lbs by May. I’m saying this long back story to explain that I know what it’s like to OBSESS over weight gain/loss and what I eat. In order to lose and stay in shape I have to be meticulous in what I eat. For the whole first half of the year I counted everything, weighed my food, and pretracked the entire week of food. The switch to pregnancy eating (aversions, cravings, and increased appetite) has been difficult. 

    @treetop19 said my pre-pregnancy body is just different from my post- pregnancy body. Even though I was down to my pre-baby weight I still was just shaped different. I am able to accept that and be proud of the strength my body has. 

    So while weight gain during pregnancy can be a mind f, just know that you are beautiful and bad ass for creating those awesome little people! 
    Pregnancy Ticker
     
  • Well I let hormones get the best of me and I cried at work today. Mainly because DD is having such a hard time with preschool. She goes to the same school I teach at and while we aren’t in the same building I do work with her teacher. 

    Her teacher is new and young and is clearly struggling with how to deal with a strong willed child like DD (who is 3). Almost daily her teacher has come to me while I am working to tell me how “bad” DD has been. Today it just got to me and I am not sure what to do. Half of me sees that DD does like going to school, even though she has left crying three days this week. The other half feels like I pushed her into preschool too early. She just turned 3 at the end of July but is very articulate and responsive so I wanted her in with other kids to learn. 

    What concerns me is that I feel her teacher has given up on her and has labeled her as the “bad” kid. Today she made a passive aggressive comment to DD about her behavior. I know as a teacher and a parent that it’s not the way to go about things. Add that onto the fact that I dropped my lunch straight out the microwave all over the floor. Thus leading me to be the crazy lady who cried over spilled chicken. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
     
  • @miss.sally to echo what others have said, thanks a lot for having the strength to share this here. I’m sorry that’s the path you’re walking right now, but am glad you are not ignoring your feelings and seem to have some steps to try to address it. I hope you are able to find someone (whether a therapist or just a different doctor in your practice like you said) to process your thoughts soon. 💜
  • @AAAG13 Yikes. With hormones etc. I'd probably cry too. As others have said, this is really on the teacher. Your daughter CAN'T be bad, because she is three... and she doesn't have an evolved sense of morality or ethics yet, because, you know, she's three! Does this teacher not have children of her own yet? Just curious mostly... Making a passive aggressive comment to your child about her behavior is unacceptable. I hope SHE evolves. 
    *TW*

    DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015

    DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017

    BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019

    BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020 

  • @mrsvp614 I didn't realize Target was doing that promotion now. Do you need to bring anything with you?
    *TW*

    DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015

    DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017

    BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019

    BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020 

  • @EmilyLove25 I saw it online and just ordered a pickup order. But in the past, there are signs that are posted in the baby aisles, and they hand you a gift card when you make the purchase. It's an automatic thing. 
    Me: 33 DH: 33
    Married: 10.15.16
    BFP: 12.24.16
    DS BD: 8.20.17
    TTC #2 1.1.19
    BFP #2 7.3.19
    EDD #2 3.13.20
  • @pdx2020 it’s my halfway day too! Congrats to you as well! 
    Me: 33 | DH: 34
    Married: October, 19, 2015
    EDD 2/22/17 <3 DS1 born on 3/2/17
    EDD 3/8/20 <3 DS2 born on 3/10/20
    EDD 11/24/23
    (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)


  • @miss.sally I meant to respond last week, but naturally my life got chaotic (I ended up having to get stitches in my face).  I have struggled with an eating disorder for all of my adult life.  I was 16 years old when my depression flared up and it manifested through anorexia.  That eventually morphed into bulimia over the years, and ever since then, I've had an incredibly bad relationship with food and body image.  I got into a routine of very carefully monitoring what I eat every second of every day, and I had to work out hard each morning otherwise my entire day would be ruined.  I was doing a relatively good job of sticking to a healthier lifestyle (focused more on exercising the right way and not indulging my binge-eating-desires) until I got pregnant.  Now it's like shit has hit the fan and I don't even know what to do.  I hate the way I look, though.  I feel gigantic and I am struggling with putting on weight.  I know I was pretty underweight when I got KU, but the transition to a normal/healthy body weight and then gaining even more weight as the pregnancy has developed has been soooooooo hard.  

    I know others have chimed in and let you know that you're not alone, but I just to let you know that I get it, too.  I understand how you're feeling and I'm sorry you are struggling. <3
  • silverhopesilverhope member
    edited October 2019
    Edited: nevermind. Found the thread where u said what happened. Ouch and ugh! So sorry. Glad u get the stitches out Weds. @Malidocious

    Malidocious face stitches?!?! What happened?

    i’m so sorry life keeps smacking you. The universe must be sending a lot of good stuff your way soon since you’ve endured so much lately. 
    Me: 32 | DH: 35
    Married: 8/22/15
    BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18 
    BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy  Baby Tracker

  • @silverhope I certainly so!! *fingers crossed*  I can't take much more negativity!
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"