@silverhope Oh no! Lol! They sent me a link already, letting me look at and approve the options they're going to send this tote, and everything is maternity, so we're good there! Haha! There are so many options to choose from! Ahhh! I love it! Except I want all the things...
Hi ladies. Today I’ve been feeling really down on myself. I’m a FTM, 9w2d today and have this overwhelming feeling of just being a crappy woman/person/mom. My symptoms aren’t half as bad as they could be...Yes I’m tired all the time, barely can eat anything bc nothing sounds good which is driving me crazy, nauseous off and on but nothing crazy so I KNOW it could be worse from what some of you are experiencing.
And I feel disappointed in myself that I haven’t felt EXCITED or CONNECTED to my baby, just because of these yucky first trimester symptoms. Like I’m excited but so focused on how miserable I feel...if that makes sense. I feel selfish, and like a big freaking baby. I see some of your stories of lengthy journeys TTGP or PGAL and tell myself I need to be more grateful and remind myself this can be taken away from me any second. And I would be absolutely devastated if something was to happen, but also am just having a hard time being stronger and more grateful and happier no matter the difficulties.
I’m not really sure this is an appropriate place to express these feelings but I guess I just wonder if these are normal feelings that maybe others have felt too. I just feel like a bad mom-to-be. Any support would be greatly appreciated...tho I feel shameful even asking for it.
@mrsc918 you are not alone in feeling like that! I too feel pretty crappy most days and I feel guilty bc like you said I know it could be so much worse and I know that in that regard I am lucky. I am a STM but I’m really struggling to connect as well. I mean obviously I’m happy to be pregnant and it would hurt so bad were something to happen but the connection isn’t there yet. Last time I just remember being all excited and constantly reading about the baby and excited like oh it’s getting fingernails and stuff and this time I’m mostly just reading that stuff for DH and DS’s benefit.
I think for me I’m trying to be kind to myself about this, honesty DS takes up so much of my thoughts that I’m struggling to have room for another when it’s really not requiring any thought yet (besides feeling exhausted and nauseous all the time). I think once the baby starts kicking and we do the anatomy scan it’ll get more real! But know that for some moms it doesn’t happen during pregnancy and some it even takes a few weeks or months after birth to feel that bond and that is ok too! What matters is we love our babies at no matter what stage and at some point that bond will form!
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@mrsc918 I didn’t fall in love with my first baby until 5 months postpartum (yay postpartum hormones and anxiety). I certainly didn’t feel connected to him when pregnant. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. But also if you are having these thoughts, I would consider talking to your OB or a psychiatrist. You shouldn't feel guilty about having reasonable feelings and uncertainties. Please don’t beat yourself up.
@mrsc918 You’re completely normal! The first tri just sucks. There is nothing fun about it IMO. I’ve also been feeling sorry for myself even though my symptoms could be worse. It still sucks! And I don’t feel any connection to the baby yet. Normal. Once you are bigger, feeling better, and can even feel baby movement, connection will come. Try not to be hard on yourself. This isn’t a picnic and you don’t have to love it!
@mrsc918 your feelings are totally normal and understandable. It’s hard to feel happy and excited when you feel like crap. This is my fourth baby and I don’t feel connected yet either and most days I forget I’m pregnant. In my experience, once you feel movement it really starts to feel real. It’s also very normal if you don’t bond until after giving birth. This is a huge change and an emotional process. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
@mrsc918 I am in the same boat, hoping that finding out the gender earlier will help with that connection. For me, I've actually had very minimal symptoms so it's hard to feel connected when I dont "feel" pregnant. After seeing the heart beat at 7w4d I was ecstatic but that lasted for a few days and then it was back to how I was feeling prior.
Does anyone else have back pain? I feel like it isn't a super common sympton but I've had it for about 3-4 weeks now - it's pretty much been in the same place the whole time (on the right side). It's worrying because I don't see back pain talked about much in the 1st trimester. But my doc doesn't see patients until 12 weeks if they are low risk so I've just kinda been waiting it out until my appointment in 2 weeks.
@hlin89 how severe is it? If it's just dull aches, I wouldn't worry. I have an achy lower back on and off, but it certainly isn't severe. Just annoying.
@hlin89 Seconding @stassischroeder I've had on and off mild aches in my back that are definitely annoying and noticeable, but it is never intensely painful by any means.
@mrsc918 You're not alone! Everyone connects with their baby at different times. I'm a STM and with my DS I didn't feel connected until he was 6 months old!! This go around I am definitely anticipating for it to be the same and have already accepted it. Maybe I'll be surprised and connect earlier, but if I don't I now know that it takes time and will eventually happen. So do not worry! You will connect when the time is right for you. Be kind to yourself
Me: 37 | H: 44 **TW**
TTC #1: May 2015 IF DX January 2016- Me: Right sided hydrosalpinx Right tube removed: February 2016 Acupuncture + TCM: March 2016 BFP: July 4, 2016 | DS: March 2017 (39w 2d) TTC #2: April 2019 BFP #2: April 2019 | CP: April 30, 2019 (4w 2d) BFP #3: July 15, 2019 EDD: March 23, 2020
I have a horrible headache today. Not sure if it’s allergies/weather-related (it’s cool and damp here today), pregnancy-related, or other. After a morning out with the family I’m stuck in bed just trying to rest.
@lemonlove86 I definitely have baby brain! Last week I poured my granola into my coffee instead of my yogurt. I watched myself do it and then swore out loud. When I am teaching I keep forgetting words and terms I often use and just keep saying um until I can come up with something related to what I’m trying to say 🤦🏼♀️
@mrsc918 Just like many have said don’t stress about not bonding to baby yet! I didn’t bond with DD until she was at least 2 months old. It’s totally normal!
@laurenm2123 mm I never got my brain back after DS. I’m just slowly getting stupider. I always say he took all my brain power. I hope he’s smart! (And this one too!)
Baby brain mofo over here! I am doing everything wrong on accident lately and just overall completely forgetting everything ever! It's super annoying, lol.
I’m pretty sure my brain never fully came back after either or my other babies. So now it’s extra baby-brained. Oh well. Just getting used to saying/doing goofy things.
I’ve had a little bit of very light brown spotting tonight. I know it can be totally normal, but it’s freaking me out. If I have more tonight/tomorrow I’ll probably call the midwife just to make sure it’s normal I guess? Idk.
@kantobean def normal but call tomorrow anyways. I’ve had spotting twice with this pregnancy and didn’t with my first. I had to take a break from the gym for a little bit until things were more settled. Did you do any activities this evening? Like @silverhope said it can happen from sex but my first spotting happened from a long walk (preseason football game).
Is anyone else huge in the evening but almost flat in the mornings? I’m 12.5 weeks STM but struggling to see much of a bump in the mornings but my goodness by bedtime I feel like I look 20 weeks. DH always comes home and is like see you’re showing! And I’m like thanks for noticing how bloated and uncomfortable I am 😂🤦🏻♀️
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@kantobean I had spotting at 10 weeks and it was very off-putting. My midwife assured me it can be completely normal, and it turns out it was bc they gave me a bonus ultrasound a few days later and baby was doing well. She told me to watch out for more intense bleeding, cramping, and intense back pain. You should call your midwife for the extra reassurance too, but just letting you know it can be completely normal and fine.
Thanks you guys!! Had a tiny bit more during the night. Still very faint and brown, not red. I’ll call today for reassurance but I feel pretty good about it. I also might go out and buy an at-home Doppler just to make myself feel better. I’ve seen them on the shelves at CVS.
Is anyone else huge in the evening but almost flat in the mornings? I’m 12.5 weeks STM but struggling to see much of a bump in the mornings but my goodness by bedtime I feel like I look 20 weeks. DH always comes home and is like see you’re showing! And I’m like thanks for noticing how bloated and uncomfortable I am 😂🤦🏻♀️
Yup! This exactly.
Also, with my first pregnancy I could feel my uterus at 11w, but can't as much this time. Buuuuut I had less flub around my midsection during my first pregnancy, so I'm assuming that's why.
@kantobean It sounds like you're fine, but I'm glad you're calling today for reassurance!
@varimama@stassischroeder I'm part of that club with flatter tummies in the morning and bloated as all heck by evening! I just want to look consistently pregnant at this point and not fat, lol.
Womp. I didn’t take the unisom and b6 last night and today was terrible. I don’t understand why it’s so bad still at 12.5 weeks! It was long gone in both my previous pregnancies. Bummer. Needless to say I’ve already taken it and I’m praying tomorrow I feel ok!
@Malidocious and @varimama add another one to the club. Definitely have a blump in the morning and by bedtime it looks 20ish weeks. I’d love to look consistently pregnant. I’ve started to just embrace the bump regardless because there’s no point trying to hide it.
@miss.sally same with missing the Unisom last night! I didn’t take it because yesterday was a good day so i was hoping to wean off, but today was pretty blehhh without it. Although I had nausea and vomiting until about 25 weeks with DD so i shouldn’t be surprised
Re: August Symptoms
And I feel disappointed in myself that I haven’t felt EXCITED or CONNECTED to my baby, just because of these yucky first trimester symptoms. Like I’m excited but so focused on how miserable I feel...if that makes sense. I feel selfish, and like a big freaking baby. I see some of your stories of lengthy journeys TTGP or PGAL and tell myself I need to be more grateful and remind myself this can be taken away from me any second. And I would be absolutely devastated if something was to happen, but also am just having a hard time being stronger and more grateful and happier no matter the difficulties.
I’m not really sure this is an appropriate place to express these feelings but I guess I just wonder if these are normal feelings that maybe others have felt too. I just feel like a bad mom-to-be. Any support would be greatly appreciated...tho I feel shameful even asking for it.
I think for me I’m trying to be kind to myself about this, honesty DS takes up so much of my thoughts that I’m struggling to have room for another when it’s really not requiring any thought yet (besides feeling exhausted and nauseous all the time). I think once the baby starts kicking and we do the anatomy scan it’ll get more real! But know that for some moms it doesn’t happen during pregnancy and some it even takes a few weeks or months after birth to feel that bond and that is ok too! What matters is we love our babies at no matter what stage and at some point that bond will form!
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Married: 8/22/15
BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18
BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
Thank you @mommytimesfour @kantobean @silverhope @varimama and anyone else I missed for the reassurance
It's worrying because I don't see back pain talked about much in the 1st trimester. But my doc doesn't see patients until 12 weeks if they are low risk so I've just kinda been waiting it out until my appointment in 2 weeks.
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20
**TW**
IF DX January 2016- Me: Right sided hydrosalpinx
Right tube removed: February 2016
Acupuncture + TCM: March 2016
BFP: July 4, 2016 | DS: March 2017 (39w 2d)
TTC #2: April 2019
BFP #2: April 2019 | CP: April 30, 2019 (4w 2d)
BFP #3: July 15, 2019
EDD: March 23, 2020
@mrsc918 Just like many have said don’t stress about not bonding to baby yet! I didn’t bond with DD until she was at least 2 months old. It’s totally normal!
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Married: 8/22/15
BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18
BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
I hope it was a one time thing, so you don’t stress!
Married: 8/22/15
BFP #1: 8/22/17 | DS: 4/20/18
BFP #2: 7/14/19 | EDD: 3/18/20
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Also, with my first pregnancy I could feel my uterus at 11w, but can't as much this time. Buuuuut I had less flub around my midsection during my first pregnancy, so I'm assuming that's why.
@kantobean It sounds like you're fine, but I'm glad you're calling today for reassurance!
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20