Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: QUESTION Thread
Question for all of you healthcare/insurance experts out there: what’s the best way to get an estimate on the cost of giving birth at my hospital? I’m switching over to a 10% coinsurance plan and trying to understand what that actually adds up to for a vaginal birth or a c-section...
Be sure to write down who/when you talk to the insurance company too.
i did this with my dd, and the insurance company misquoted that I would not owe a $500 copay for being admitted to the hospital, and I appealed the claim, and won, so the insurance company ended up paying that portion.
DD#2 - 7/13
Baby #3 due 1/19, m/c 6/18
DD#3 due 12/19!
Basically you expect to be tired to a certain degree but you are also interested in finding out if there are any other factors like anemia that may be contributing to how you're feeling.
DD#2 - 7/13
Baby #3 due 1/19, m/c 6/18
DD#3 due 12/19!
Also: I’m at 25W3D 😊
Another question: Has anybody started working on birthing plan notes? I have a template from the website wellnessmama that I might use for suggestions. Any ideas?
I made it to 8cm before demanding an epidural. Well, actually, I wouldn't even let them check me again until after the epidural, but when they did I was at 8cm. I was just so exhausted because I'd been awake for nearly 24 hours by that point. My contractions started at about 10pm, and I was up all night, so it was about 8am by the time I just couldn't anymore. They also weren't able to do delayed cord clamping because there was some concern about his oxygen levels during the birth so they whisked him away to the newborn station so quickly that my husband and midwife didn't even get to see what sex he was
Given all that, I'm going to attempt natural again. I'm not tied to it though, if I can do it, cool, if I don't feel like I can hack it then I'll get an epidural again.
It sounds like you'll want to start out natural and have the option of epidural if you feel like you need it, which is exactly the same as me. Or possibly nitrous oxide like @ninrms said if it's available at your hospital.
Also just want to put it out there that childbirth is natural no matter whether you have interventions or not, (from what I've read/heard, the natural/unnatural mindset can be upsetting after the fact).
*Edit - Ugh formatting on mobile.
I don’t know what the heck happened last time, but nobody ever pointed me to make any sort of plan. I don’t want to be too demanding, because I’m very aware that there could be complications, but I don’t want to be worked into the hospital’s schedule either, so if possible I’d like it to be more natural this time. By the time you’re in labor with no plan, you’re way too far gone to think of any of this stuff, and that can be just as frustrating. Last time, the hospital didn’t seem to know that we were even a married couple (yet we’re on the same family medical plan, and we were 30 year old adults). Hence, DH wasn’t in the room (my mother was) when I got my epidural, which I didn’t really have a choice on, they just told me to do it. Just some weird things I’d like to prep for this time a little better 👍
I just gave birth a year ago...I'm using that plan lol. My plan is/was basically I'll go natural as long as I can...if that's through birth so be it. If not well, that's ok too. I want a birth ball available to me. And the amazing shower in the room will be used. My C-section plan was I wanted a clear drape so I could see the birth (not the icky part, you can't see past your stomach that well, but the pulling out part). In both cases, skin to skin right away with one parent or the other. Someone have a big cookie cake waiting for me (stupid gestational diabetes).
Things that changed in my last birth: I was induced, Pitocin is the devil and I got an epidural earlier than anticipated. I ended up with a C-section. I was shaking so bad I felt like I would drop the baby so DH did initial skin to skin to make me feel better.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
i have full intentions to not get an epidural, I don’t think the minor pain relief I expired was worth the back pain I dealt with after.
Knowing your plan may change is important but also knowing that you don’t need an epidural just because the doctor may suggest one or ask if you want one is also important with wanting to go natural. I had in my plan I did not want to be asked for one my daughter started to crash, they got her stable and we had the discussion of one. I opted not to take one still not because I was being stubborn but I had done a lot of research prior and the doctors said the chance of her crashing again were slim without getting one so I made the decision to not still.