October 2019 Moms

** Private Group Discussion Thread **

I think we are approaching the time when we might want to start thinking about forming our private group here on TB!  We don’t have to move right now, but I think it’ll be good to get the discussion rolling on when and how we’ll move over to a private group so we are ready.
 
Some things we should discuss:
- How many Admins/moderators do we want to have for the Private Group? Who should those people be/how do we want to choose them?
- What should the voting process be for allowing members into the private group?
- What should our vetting process be to weed out possible catfish?
 
Feel free to discuss any other things I may be forgetting.
 
I'm so excited to get this ball rolling! I can’t wait to get to know you all a little better!


«13

Re: ** Private Group Discussion Thread **

  • Looking forward to hearing what worked well and the suggestions from our ladies that are apart of other PG’s! 


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  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    @prpl11butterfly what do you mean?

    im confused because I don’t bump
    pic, ever. Doesn’t matter if it’s a private group. I don’t take them, period
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • I haven’t lurked on what other groups have done but the suggestions so far sound good to me. How do they typically decide who is a mod? I doubt there would be any drama about it, there are a few people who come to mind that I think of and can’t see anyone arguing against 
  • So far I agree with the above! I've never been a part of a PG before, so I dont have much experience to add... 
  • edited June 2019
    @cmbt2 totally justified. Really. In this situation it seems reasonable to allow an US pic w/date of scan showing instead of a bump pic, if that's more comfortable for you 😊

    ETA that would include handwritten date / SN written 
  • galentine said:
    -How many Admins/moderators do we want to have for the Private Group? Who should those people be/how do we want to choose them?
    I think 3 is good, like @kindbytealikat suggests. An odd number in case of tie votes, for sure. 5 would be ok too, but seems unnecessary?

    - What should the voting process be for allowing members into the private group?
    I like what the Sept BMB did: first they posted a "roll call" thread to see who would even be interested in joining a private group to get an approximate headcount. Then based on that number, they decided on how many "votes" a person would need to get in order to be admitted to the private group. The Admins agreed on some people to add to the group to start off with (obvious super active posters), and then the usernames of those who wanted in were posted on a thread in the private group. Those posters who received the required number of love-tits as votes were added to the group.

    - What should our vetting process be to weed out possible catfish?
    agreed with @prpl11butterfly. I think that each person admitted to the private group should submit a photo to the mods within a certain time frame of being admitted to the group. I like the requirements is showing your bump and your face, and some random object you wouldn't normally see in a bump photo or something with your username and the date written on it.
    +1 for all of this.  This is what September did and it seemed to go pretty smoothly.  
  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    @prpl11butterfly I certainly get enough scans for that one 😂 
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • The PG is new to me, I don’t remember them with my last pregnancies so I guess it’s fairly new?

    I think 3 moderators sounds good. So the PG is still done through the app? 

    I too feel a little funny showing my face to internet strangers. Even though I feel I have been able to  “get to know a lot of people” virtually, I still am pretty private with that stuff. I think the ultrasound and date is a good option. 
  • I like what has been suggested above, but I can't say I have much to add myself.

    DD 10/2019
  • How many Admins/moderators do we want to have for the Private Group? Who should those people be/how do we want to choose them? I agree with three mods. I think whoever wants to be a mod can volunteer and if we have more than three volunteers, we can have a vote?
    - What should the voting process be for allowing members into the private group? Once the mods are in, I think they can open it up to accept PMs with vetting photos to request admission. Then they can run a daily vote within the PG to admit new members. Number of votes needed would vary based on number of members in the group at the time of vote.
    - What should our vetting process be to weed out possible catfish? I like the idea of either an ultrasound photo or bump pic with handwritten screen name and due date. Maybe also an item you’ve purchased or been gifted for your baby (car seat, nursery art, crib, etc) - something baby related I think will help to know you’re actually pregnant and not a catfish faking it.
    *TW in Spoiler*BabyFetus Ticker

    Me 39 - DH 41

    Married 8/26/07

    TTGP #1 Jan '15 - 

         BFP 9/11/15 - DS born 5/31/16

    TTGP #2 July '17 -

         CP July '17

         Blighted Ovum MC Dec '17

         CP June '18

         BFP 1/30/19 - EDD 10/13/19

  • In S16 I was an admin on our FB group. We had 5 of us. We had a thread for people to ask for admission, and later people PMd us when the thread got buried. We vetted by basically getting a 3/5 vote from the admins on whether we remembered your SN. If not, we'd look at your post history to see if you had just been active in places we weren't. We didn't do a catfishing trip until we were already on FB, which for us has been fine, but I know lots of people wanted it earlier.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • cmbt2 said:
    I say once we move, that’s it, unless
    a super majority (2/3rd or more) agree on someone else. It’s easy to see now who’s the regs and who’s not, IMO. 

    Catfish get wed out overtime. There’s often things about what they post that don’t sound right, but they take a while to accumulate and put together because an experienced catfish can get away with it for a year or two before being caught from what I’ve seen
    A year or two?!?! Holy dedication! 
  • SLou24SLou24 member
    I know nothing because in S16 we went straight to FB, no private group here on TB. I do agree with 3 or 5 mods, then some sort of vote! 
  • galentine said:
    As far as choosing mods, I would suggest some kind of nomination & voting process rather than just accepting the first 3 volunteers. Maybe we could post a thread where people nominate a person to be a mod, and then those who agree with that nomination could love-tit the post as a yes vote.
    My thinking around volunteering was more to make sure those who would want to be a moderator could express interest first before being being voted on. I don't personally want to take on that responsibility, but if I was nominated and voted in, I might feel weirdly obligated to do it.
    *TW in Spoiler*BabyFetus Ticker

    Me 39 - DH 41

    Married 8/26/07

    TTGP #1 Jan '15 - 

         BFP 9/11/15 - DS born 5/31/16

    TTGP #2 July '17 -

         CP July '17

         Blighted Ovum MC Dec '17

         CP June '18

         BFP 1/30/19 - EDD 10/13/19

  • I have zero experience with PGs, but I think many of these suggestions sound spot on. Two people come to mind immediately for admins (agree that 5 seems like overkill) ...when can we start nominating??
    As far as those uncomfortable showing their face in a bump pic, could you show like half your face + the extra object (ie. coffee mug)? I agree that ultrasound pic is a little too easy for catfish to fake. (Not that I think any of the regulars are fakers.)
  • We went straight to FB on my last BMB so I’ll defer to the group, just hope that PGs on here are app friendly.

    3 mods feels good - I think we should start a thread for people to nominate themselves and vote. 

    I feel like the true catfish are relatively easy to spot at this point. It’s rarely the person with a mundane story. I don’t feel a ton of fear about it in this group but stranger things have happened!

    Looking forward to really getting to know you all!
    BabyFetus TickerBabyFruit Ticker

  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    @junebabyh no, I personally won’t. It’s not the face, I don’t care about that. It’s the bump. Not happening with me
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • Agreed about 3 mods. I also think how September is currently administrating their PG seems good. Quick question, is the initial PG in TB it or would it be a an eventual FB type thing? Just based on my lurking, they seemed to have a lot of issues getting started and TB seems like they experience down-times at least once a month. 

    Call this UO/FFFC early but I don't think we should allow just anyone to use the U/S picture for admission to the group. I think it needs to be a case-by-case basis and for good reason. 
    Chiming in late, having another one of "those" work weeks. But I agree with this - it should be the exception, not the rule in my opinion.

    I also think the three mods suggestion is a good one, and I like the idea of following the September model for admittance to a PG.
  • cmbt2cmbt2 member
    If that posted, or some variation, 3 times, sorry! Stupid cell service sucks here
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
  • No one should feel obligated to be a mod even of they are nominated. There are plenty of us who could do it, so if someone doesn't feel comfortable taking the job, it's perfectly okay to say, "no thanks."
  • Agreed and on board with all of this. Never been part of a PG before so will defer to you all. I also prefer PG before FB. sharing a bump pic is fine with me. Someone suggested adding in baby gear — I have yet to buy any at all but thinking bump, face, date etc should suffice! 
  • Wheeeee! This all sounds so exciting! I already have my nomination for a certain lady ready. :)
    TTC History
    Me: 38 DH: 52
    Started trying June 2018
    BFP Jan 2019 DD born October 2019
    TTC July 2021 BFP, ended in MMC August 2021
    TTC October 2021
    BFP January 2022
    MMC March 2022
    Beginning May 2022 under the supervision of an RE - Benched while undergoing testing




  • andrawrmeda2andrawrmeda2 member
    edited June 2019
    Both my groups did FB, so the Bump PG is new to me too lol

    3 or 5 mods sounds good to me, and I like the picture ideas for recognition. Definitely think it should have to go with some form of posting too, there's lots of lurkers that haven't contributed much of anything but love it's. So past the ones we do know well, I'd say a post history should be relevant. My Jan 17 group went off of that as their main basis, but they did FB at 9 months so they could post birth pics and stories. My July 15 I think we had a FB early on and there's about 60 in, but only really 35 of us are active on there all the time. 




  • Both my groups did FB, so the Bump PG is new to me too lol

    3 or 5 mods sounds good to me, and I like the picture ideas for recognition. Definitely think it should have to go with some form of posting too, there's lots of lurkers that haven't contributed much of anything but love it's. So past the ones we do know well, I'd say a post history should be relevant. My Jan 17 group went off of that as their main basis, but they did FB at 9 months so they could post birth pics and stories. My July 15 I think we had a FB early on and there's about 60 in, but only really 35 of us are active on there all the time. 
    This is what the voting system withing the PG would cover. If they've only ever love tit-ed, we won't recognize their SN as someone who participates even once in a while and they likely won't be added.
  • Chiming in late, having another one of "those" work weeks. But I agree with this - it should be the exception, not the rule in my opinion.

    I also think the three mods suggestion is a good one, and I like the idea of following the September model for admittance to a PG.
    Ditto to @jenferlee82 even about the work week!

    I am totally supportive of the idea on voting for moderators, but volunteers coming first.

    I would be down for a FB group but I can understand not wanting to do that right away.

    The only thing I'm confused about it the vetting, so I get showing a pic of the US or bump but there's talk of an object of some sorts....I'm just confused on what everyone meant.
  • @Cass005 an object being included makes it harder for someone to just pull a bump /US photo from the web. It's not impossible with the right skills but your average catfish won't bother.
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