October 2019 Moms
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May STM/STM+ Check In

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Re: May STM/STM+ Check In

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    cmbt2 said:
    Our centers do “rooming in” so no nighttime nursery. That second night was hell for both my boys, so I’d much rather cosleep for a few hours in my own bed than have no sleep at all in the hospital
    I have never delivered at a hospital that had a nursery.  Is that still a thing?  I always BF though so I have to have the baby in the room.
    Our hospital takes baby to the nursery if you want and just brings them back when they need to eat. I think it’s nice to give exhausted moms a small break. DD2 was norm just before midnight so we skipped a whole night of sleep and I was so grateful! 
    BabyFetus TickerBabyFruit Ticker

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    I'm pretty sure I'm going to a chiropractor today. Woke up to both hips being locked and my lower back feels like someone had a knee in it all night. Also getting a pregnancy pillow cause the one I use in between my legs isn't helping anymore 😭




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    @andromedacorrine2 Oh I hope you get some relief! That does not sound comfortable.

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    cmbt2 said:
    Our centers do “rooming in” so no nighttime nursery. That second night was hell for both my boys, so I’d much rather cosleep for a few hours in my own bed than have no sleep at all in the hospital
    I have never delivered at a hospital that had a nursery.  Is that still a thing?  I always BF though so I have to have the baby in the room.
    Yes! All my obs actually dicuss rooming in/nursery stays at the last couple appointments so they know what you want! I've always opted to keep baby I'm my room, they took DS only to do his bath and circ. DD stayed in my room the whole time though. Our hospital just got certified as a baby friendly designation!! So there's less nursery time that their used to be!




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    cmbt2cmbt2 member
    cmbt2 said:
    Our centers do “rooming in” so no nighttime nursery. That second night was hell for both my boys, so I’d much rather cosleep for a few hours in my own bed than have no sleep at all in the hospital
    I have never delivered at a hospital that had a nursery.  Is that still a thing?  I always BF though so I have to have the baby in the room.
    Yes, the non-“baby friendly” hospital still has a nursery and will take them if you wish
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
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    I'm torn on the nursery because I could probably use the sleep if baby is in the nursery over night. However when I think nursery I also think $$$$$


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    cmbt2 said:
    Our centers do “rooming in” so no nighttime nursery. That second night was hell for both my boys, so I’d much rather cosleep for a few hours in my own bed than have no sleep at all in the hospital
    I have never delivered at a hospital that had a nursery.  Is that still a thing?  I always BF though so I have to have the baby in the room.
    The hospital where I delivered DS1 had a nursery and it was so awesome! Everyone we knew who'd delivered there before me urged us to utilize the nursery at night--so we did. The nurse brought the baby back every two hours (approximately... sooner if he was fussy) to nurse. The hospital where I delivered DS2 (and will deliver DS3) doesn't have a nursery and I reallllly wished they did.
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    junebabyh said:
    The hospital where I delivered DS2 (and will deliver DS3) doesn't have a nursery and I reallllly wished they did.
    I hear a lot of hospitals removing nurseries just because of the costs. My two hospitals near me though are known for their NICU care so I'm thankful they still have them.
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    Both hospitals I delivered at had a NICU but no nursery. The nurses said they would take the bassinet to the nurse's station if you needed though. 
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    cmbt2cmbt2 member
    Cass005 said:
    I'm torn on the nursery because I could probably use the sleep if baby is in the nursery over night. However when I think nursery I also think $$$$$


    You’re probably charged it no matter what, to be honest 
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
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    Cass005Cass005 member
    edited June 2019
    @cmbt2 Yea, I wouldn't be surprised, but it's separate line item at our hospital (at least that's how it was when I had DD, but things change). I have to call anyway, since we have different insurance, I'm very nervous about this time around so I may ask.
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    perfectlove09perfectlove09 member
    edited June 2019
    The hospital I deliver at does not have a nursery either. I wouldn’t let them take the baby anyway 😂 I’m crazy like that. 
    With DD1 she would scream whenever she was laid down. The nurses felt so bad and offered to take her to the nurses station so I could get some sleep. I wouldn’t let them. They kept getting upset because I was sleeping with baby but was incredibly safe about it. After about the 4th time of them trying to have her lay in that plastic baby box and her screaming her head off one nurse says “well it’s obvious this is the only way either of you are getting any sleep. We’ll just be checking on you more often” 🙄 which I didn’t care. I felt like they were already in there non stop and they finally left me alone about it. 

    I know they are trying to keep baby safe but it felt more like they were covering their own ass. If they worked more in teaching safe co-sleeping than trying to scare everyone away from it a lot of us would be better off. 
    They did come to the conclusion the next day that maybe her head hurt when she was laid down. She had a huge hematoma from the vacuum they used. 

    With DD2 we were at the same hospital (by choice, I love this hospital) and again no nursery, baby ended up in the NICU (which they call special care) and the “NICU” room for baby is attached to a room for the parents. So she slept in the attached room and as long as she was there I was allowed in the room attached. Queen sized bed and full bathroom, fridge, food, etc. it was amazing. I still spent most of my time in the recliner next to her bed with her on my chest. She was attached to so many wires but the nurses helped me figure out how to untangle them all. 
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    DD#1 December '12
    DD#2 New Year's Baby '15
    Married 07/09
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    @perfectlove09 I agree about teaching safe co-sleeping. 
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    @perfectlove09 I’m all for teaching safe cosleeping, but the vast majority of moms right after labor are on pain medication and utterly exhausted. I have several mom & baby nurse friends and they all have horror stories about new moms dropping babies from the bed in the hospital. I’m not overly conservative about sleep at home but rarely is anyone completely composed enough in those first few days to truly safely sleep with a baby in a hospital bed. 
    BabyFetus TickerBabyFruit Ticker

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    @quidditchcapn1120 aside from the contract and the no pain meds that sounds Devine 😂 I was tempted to switch to the other hospital in our area because they have a whirlpool tub you can actually birth in too. And the one we're going to doesn't, just the showers. Plus they stuck us in a tiny room for DD, we had a huge room for DS and I got really claustrophobic for some reason(I only do that in small, dark, and tight areas usually). I still want to cause I was told they can deliver at either but I've never been to the other hospital and I'm not sure how much more it would cost to do that. 




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    My hospital also does rooming in. On the second night with DD, the nurse offered to take her for a little while, because I hadn’t really slept for the past 2 nights (contractions started MOTN and then DD was born just before midnight) and was losing it. But I felt like I would be already failing as a mom if I handed off my 1-day old. I should have accepted her offer and gotten a little sleep. I’m pretty sure those first rough weeks of not getting any sleep played a big part in my PPA. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    cmbt2cmbt2 member
    If anyone in considering switching hospitals or centers (sounds like a couple might be), I highly recommend seeing if a place offers LDRP rooms. They’re rather large, and I really liked not having to switch rooms after delivery
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
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    @cmbt2 what do you mean switching rooms?? I've never had to move rooms, we did everything in the same room we were in the whole time! I think I'll just stick to our hospital cause I already know the L&D floor well and most of the nurses lol switching is too much stress and quite frankly scary to think of 😂




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    @cmbt2 That sounds nice, plus the recovery rooms are a lot smaller so to have visitors would be nice for them to spread out.

    So, I know I've been through this one before, but I'm starting to get jitters about delivery. The first time was fine accept for a minor hemorrhage. I'm sure everything will be okay, but I am a worry wort so I worry about EVERYTHING. Is anyone else feeling jitters?

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    @Cass005 I am! My first delivery and recovery was terrible, and my second was as smooth as it possibly could've been, so I just feel like I used up all my good fortune last time  :# 
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    cmbt2cmbt2 member
    @cmbt2 what do you mean switching rooms?? I've never had to move rooms, we did everything in the same room we were in the whole time! I think I'll just stick to our hospital cause I already know the L&D floor well and most of the nurses lol switching is too much stress and quite frankly scary to think of 😂
    A lot of places still have one room where you labor and deliver but then move you to a different room for the remainder of your stay. 

    A LDRP (labor, delivery, recovery, and postpartum) room, where the room you are admitted to is the one you are discharged from, isn’t super common in a lot of areas.  I had this both times, and it made things so much easier to not have to switch once the “recovery” period was over 
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
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    Our hospital has you switch rooms. I don’t even remember it from last time...it wasn’t a big deal at all IMO. 

    @Cass005 I am too! Trying not to think about it too much yet but I know in a few weeks I need to start refreshing myself on different options and whatnot...and mentally prepare for anything to happen
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    My hospital has a room for L,D, R and then they move you for PP. 

    I'm going to take this opportunity to bring up a subject that's been on my mind. When my hospital has you move to your PP room, there is a bell you ring (and I know there are other ones that have this system). This bell plays a lullaby for the while hospital to hear announcing a new baby. Originally I didn't think much of it and I did it for DS. Sitting in my OBs office after my losses and hearing that broke my heart. I don't know how many other women in that hospital could have been going through the same. My heart hurts when I think about women who may have been suffering when I rang it. I know you will all be so excited and want to celebrate these precious babies. But, please take a moment before ringing the bell. Take a moment to think about those who may be hiding their pain. I'm not telling you not to partake in it, just asking that you at least do so with those suffering in your heart.
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    cmbt2cmbt2 member
    @prpl11butterfly that’s a thing?? That sounds so cruel to be right next to an OBs office. I’m sorry 😞

    ours plays a lullaby when our security bracelet/anklet is paired, but it’s only in the birth center. 
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
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    Yea, the office is housed in the hospital. I think within the mat ward it would be okay (I mean, your likely only there if you've had a baby or are visiting one). But the whole place hears it. It definitely hit hard that day (which was my post OP for loss #3...)
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    @prpl11butterfly I've never known the ringing of the bell/chime to be the mother's choice. Ours plays one, too (both hospitals actually), but it just happened, not by my ok. I can totally see how sad that would have made you. *TW: Reminds me of how the sonogram rooms at my doctor's office all open to a waiting room. There is no avoiding other expectant parents happily waiting when you have to walk out of one of those rooms crying.
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    @prpl11butterfly I’ve always thought the same of the lullabye chime.  At the hospital where I do surgery, you can hear it in the OR so I know you can hear it throughout the whole hospital but I don’t think the moms are the ones pushing the button. 😞
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    cmbt2cmbt2 member
    @prpl11butterfly that’s just not right. 😞 I’m sure the hospital meant well when they started that, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. 
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
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    cmbt2cmbt2 member
    I should probably specify that the two places I’ve gone (one I’m returning to this time) are kinda of unique. While they’re within a hospital, they’re actually standalone facilities so they’re designed to have no overlap in intercoms and security.
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
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    @prpl11butterfly our labor and delivery floor automatically plays it across the floor. I never even heard it with DS. The nurse goes "there's your chime!" I didn't hear it. With DD they played it while they cleaned her. I didn't even think of it. Our bands played it too, but I didn't hardly hear it. All of my visitors in the waiting room heard it. That's a very good point though. 

    And it could be because I live in such a smaller area, our biggest town (where were delivering) is like 16,000. So maybe that's why our hospital doesnt move rooms. I can't imagine having to move to a whole different room after pushing a baby out 😂 the room we check into is the one we stay in the whole time. But we also have a smaller floor too. 




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    I need to vent a FAIL: I made DS1 cry this morning. Hard. Like hyperventilating. I didn't mean for it to escalate to that level of crying, but I think raising my voice abruptly just scared him. But he is sooooooo effing moody in the morning. "Don't talk to me!" "DS2 looked at me." "I don't want to go potty." This is all at a scream volume (from him). Leaving him alone doesn't help. HELPING him doesn't help. Threatening to take away tv or toys doesn't help. It's exhausting. But today was particularly terrible and I am feeling like the worst mom alive. When I realized he was crying so hard that he was sucking air, I hugged him tight and apologized and he collapsed into my lap. Literally, 1 min later he was ABSOLUTELY FINE. But I wasn't. Ugh. He wines and cries a lot, but it's usually fake crying and over quickly. I never want to hurt or scare my kids and I am feeling so bad that I want to go pick him up from school early and take him out for ice cream or something. He probably doesn't even remember any of it either. 
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    @junebabyh You're not the worst mom alive, and you didn't fail. They all test our patience (I know mine sure does). We do have limits and sometimes they are hit and sometimes we yell, it happens. I probably would have yelled too honestly.
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    Thank you @Cass005! I think I just had that image in my mind all day of him shaking and with puffy eyes. When I saw him tonight he was his happy, normal self and it made me feel less bad. Tomorrow morning I will try to have more patience. 
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    I've definitely been feeling like the worst mother in the world these days. I yell so much, and like you said, NOTHING works. Taking these, no tv all day, time outs( he PUTS himself in them😔) yelling does absolutely nothing. He was awful this morning when daddy left for work. I'm not sure why, but it's always so hard when daddy leaves. But today was especially awful, he was bawling, kicking, ran out the door behind him on me. Just crying and crying when daddy's truck turned the corner. I was so lost. After about 5 minutes he came to me and said "mommy can I sit with you" and I just cuddled him hard. It's such a rough age 😔




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    Thirding the worst mom in the world feeling lately... My patience is next to zero though and DS is at such a tough stage right now 😭
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    I'm not very maternal, and I have no patience. My mom was like that so she yelled all the time, and smacked me. I do not hit, I refuse to after how my mom was with me, but my patience, ugh....

    Last night wasn't bad, but I did have to ask her several times to do something and was starting to lose my patience. I keep reminding myself that while it's good for her to learn to do things on her own she is still only 4 and needs guidance.
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    I do spank and it hurts me more than him so I try not to. My dad's always down my back, just spank him after the third time. Drives me nuts. I want to take him for a behavioral evaluation. I think it may be more than just a lack of attention. He has a bad temper too and throws things hard. 
    I am upset, we've been in music class for a little over a year and last night was the first time he's really done a lot. Like, singing, dancing, playing with the instruments. Next week is our last one til after the new baby comes then we'll sign back up and his teacher is someone I consider us close to and she goes he really has grown. I feel bad yanking out his routine, but we need the extra money and the up and down and holding sissy is killing me these days😔 




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    @Cass005 @nnaelilak Yes! It's the having to ask 15 times to do a thing that makes my blood boil. I know he's only four, but life would be so much easier if he just listened (even on...like... the third time!)
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