Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: QUESTION Thread
But, everybody's body is different. I'd definitely recommend talking to your doc if you're concerned. They should help, and should be able to tell you what to expect that's specific to YOU, not just what a calculator says. Pretty sure mine is sick of me already, haha. I've only had 2 appointments, and have brought a list each time...and then have called the office a few times with more questions that I forgot to ask at the appointment, lol.
@LM1007 I have no personal experience, my boys were both natural births, but I am #4 and all of us were c-sections. My mom is a very private person, so I've never asked for details, but I know that my sister (the oldest) was an emergency c-section due to pre-term labor (she was born at 32 weeks, and now 35 years later is perfectly healthy) and my mother did not want to risk a VBAC (they were much less common then) so she had 3 RCS.
Also, I have a friend who has had 5 c-sections. Her first was due to failure to progress, and again she did not want to do a VBAC. She told me that after her first four were girls she asked her doctor if they could try again because her husband really wanted a boy. Her doctor told her that while she did have quite a bit of scaring she could try for one more, but after that they would have to re-evaluate. Her fifth was a boy, and as far as I know they are done. (He just turned one.)
My aunt wants to host a baby shower for me in my hometown. So sweet, except that I haven’t spent much time there in 8 years and have only maintained a small handful of friends....so I’m actually not sure who I would invite/who would come. I tried to make a list, and it was VERY short.
i don’t want to disappoint her because it’s so nice that she offered, but I also don’t want to a) expect a bunch of people who haven’t seen me in years to buy me gifts, or b) have a party no one comes to... What should I do?
I actually found out yesterday I am having my third boy, and I really wanted a girl, still do. So I mayyyyy just may go for the forth in the future lol if my doctor doesn't see anything harmful with it. I had to have c-sections for my two previous because they both happen to be breech so I wasn't eligible for a vbac.
However, he basically said my specialist (treats endometriosis and PCOS) had me scared for no reason. I know people with either or both are at a higher risk for miscarriage. But he thinks a lot of the pills they put me on (progesterone and a thyroid pill) are them being extra careful. He wants me to keep taking the progesterone until week 14 and the thyroid pill until the end of pregnancy. But he made it seem unnecessary.
When I asked about first trimester screenings he told me I don't need them. Said I was "young and very healthy" so he isn't going to do anything until my triple/quad screening.
Is that normal? I don't feel dismissed or anything, he comes highly recommended and I really believe he isn't worried. But most people on this app seem to have had all the tests around this time. He doesn't even plan on running a NIPT unless something comes back funky on the triple/quad. Should I have pushed for more tests? Or do I just trust his knowledge and experience?
@mrszoobear I do think that's a bit out of the ordinary to not do any kind of first trimester screen in today's world of technology. But I also know you have the right to deny screening if you know that an indicator of a diagnosis would not change your thoughts on carrying your pregnancy.
I will echo @ninrms @nothingbuttherain and @k_mama91 that my dr did not push NIPT at all. I'm 31, will be 32, husband 32 going on 33 and we have no health history in our family of any genetic issues.
That being said I am a numbers gal. Per our genetics counselor the NT scan only has a 85% accuracy, and a 5% false positive. Whereas NIPT is 99% accurate and has a 1% false positive. It can also screen for more things. It just made more sense to me to do NIPT, am I bummed I missed out on a 12 week sono and I won't see baby again until end of July - yes, but I'm happier with the test we did. It's a decision 100% up to you, your partner and your dr.
NIPT is a blanket name for a blood test (companies for ex Natera Panorama, Harmony, MaterniT1) with Natera Panorama there are 2 options. One screens for downs, trisomy 13 and 18 and extra sex chromosomes. The other option screens for the same as above plus other microdeletions.
Is your OB referring you to the genetics department at the hospital they are affiliated with? You’re in a major city like me so I’m assuming that’s what they would do. The geneticist should be able to answer questions you have.
Edit: grammar
I just hit the 13 week mark yesterday and if anything I'm MORE tired than I was before. My first 12ish wks were smooth sailing but the past few days I've been exhausted. This doesn't seem normal but I guess a lot about this pregnancy isn't (no weight gain, no 1st trimester fatigue, no nausea)