@mkrel my mom is the same way— always projecting her weight issues onto me and talking about other peoples’ weight gain etc... she made a comment the other day about how my friend who is 23 weeks looks “way more pregnant than that” 🙄 she means well but she’s needs to work out her own body image stuff and stop commenting on everyone else’s bodies.
@zamora_spin because many people know about my heart condition, I get asked all the time how safe/secure the pregnancy is. I get asked if it was the best idea to try to have another baby. How could I risk my life when I have 2 other kids to take care of (ouch). I never had these comments with my other 2 pregnancies (didn't know about my heart yet) so it was a little shocking. But I'm trying not to let them get to me but it sucks.
When I was pregnant with DD, my MIL was constantly lecturing DH about "forcing" me to go back to work and how he shouldn't pressure me. She kept assuming that the only reason why I would return to work was because DH wouldn't let me stay home. This coming from the woman that when I had a female only baby shower she said to DH that she "thought I was more progressive than that." You mean that I like to do things without my husband and that I value female-only spaces? Nothing wrong with co-ed showers, that's just not what I wanted and I don't think one is more or less progressive.
Me 31 DH 34 TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15 NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
reviving this as we all make the transition to third tri... any new cringe-worthy stories?
Most students ask me 'when is the baby coming?' one student asked me the flip question: 'when did you get pregnant' and it was so weird. He meant nothing by it and didn't realize the connotation at all so I just answered him, but it was totally awkward in my mind haha.
coworker yesterday morning: 'i find pregnancy so fascinating, women go from not looking pregnant at all to just BAM all of a sudden and it just keeps growing' um, thanks....
same coworker yesterday afternoon waiting for a small meeting to officially start: 'i'm going to tell you the same thing i tell all the pregnant teachers: don't go into labour at school, otherwise you're going to be an eighth grade science lab' then a lot of laughs and jokes about 'lab open hours' should be called 'lab dilation hours' and measuring with rulers etc. ugghhhhh when he started talking about measuring dilation with rulers (and even about students measuring dilation with rulers) it was the last straw and I was like 'that's too far' and he stopped. but seriously? how could anyone think that is appropriate?
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
The nurse at the school I work at stopped me in the middle of the hallway the other day. Held onto one of my arms and proceeded to dust something off my butt saying ‘I know you can’t see so let me do this for you.’ wth... who can see their butt?? I was so embarrassed I pulled away and kept walking.
I get random stranger comments almost daily that piss me off at varying degrees based on my mood, but I’m very thankful my coworkers have been supportive - meaning they stay the F out of my business, don’t ask questions, and make sure I have a chair in crowded meetings 😊.
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
It’s really baffling to me how many of you experience such inappropriate comments. I get the occasional “when are you due?” But most people I have entountered throughout my 3 pregnancies luckily have common curtesy. You ladies just need to have a couple of good comebacks ready to roll!
i actually did get a, “wow why is your belly so humongous?!” Yesterday but it was from a 5 year old in my daughters class. I laughed.
My boss's wife is due around the same time as me, but it's their first, so he's been asking me a lot of questions, but this was the best. We were on a long planning call and I hear his cell phone ring, he asks if I mind holding on for a minute. When he came back he said "do you randomly start crying for no reason?" I said "yes, she's pregnant, you just have to live with it." He went on for another minute or two about how it made no sense, she would just cry and when he tried to figure out why she couldn't tell him. I told him that's just what pregnant woman do.
Got a funny one from my 4 yo nephew the other day. I was video chatting with my sister/her kids for the first time in a couple months and showed them my baby bump. My nephew was like, "You've got a baby? In your belly? Why didn't you tell me?!?!"
@BigBadWolf12 yes! She just randomly grabbed me. They all think I’m so young. I’m one of the younger staff in the building but I’m 34 so I’m not young. Just not ok.
The bump needs a different reaction option....I "loved" your response to acknowledge it, but I really wanted to 😲😠😣 it....
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
I got my first “due any day now, huh?” Comment today at the grocery store. But this shirt does make me look big and it was from a teenage girl so it didn’t bother me.
Funny story. Another first grade class was visiting my classroom. One little boy said that I had already had the baby and another little girl butt in and said no the babies in my belly. Then another little boy looked horrified and said “She ate her baby???” We had a good laugh and told him no.
So this was the situation waiting at the deli counter earlier this evening (two older gentlemen waiting beside me):
guy 1: “you must be due anyday now!” me: *through gritted teeth and a forced smile because I’ve already had this conversation twice today with random stranger* “no sir, two more months” guy 1: “two months!! Must be twins” me: “no sir, just one baby” guy 2: “must be a farmer”
I have to give him credit for creativity though... a FARMER?!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I got my first, ‘not much longer huh?’ And honestly, I was confused. I don’t feel huge yet, definitely have expanded but I was a little surprised because most people just don’t comment.
Since I keep resurrecting this thread am I the only one who gets random (and some rude) comments on a daily basis now?!? Actual situation from yesterday:
Older gentleman gets on elevator (there is definitely a theme with elevators):
Him: “are you going to make it to one?” Me: *confused because it’s just after 2:00... then realizes he means the first floor 🤦🏻♀️* “I hope to make it further than that!” Him: “when are you due?” Me: “August” Him: “is it two?” (Also a common theme) Me: “nope, just one” Him: “well you’re awfully big”
Y’all. He actually said that. What the F??? Luckily I’ve never been one to be too self conscious about my weight, but that’s over the top.
I think next time I get in an elevator I’m going to announce that “I’m due in August, just one baby, no further questions”.
I get lots of comments at this point. One surprising one from the other day was a coworker told me I've been indulging a bit too much in the donuts and pizza. I guess he thought this whole time I've just been eating too much, even though everyone else in the office knows I'm pregnant.
@thirdtimesacharm2019 - I’m getting asked when I’m due a lot, but I’m actually shocked no one has asked if there are two in there...b/c I don’t always automatically come out with that fact for random strangers, only if they ask what I’m having.
The only super awkward convo I’ve had while pregnant happened with the guy bagging my groceries when I was almost due (like 38 weeks or so? very visibly pregnant) with DD.
Bagger: so are your kids in school? Me: *quite confused* um, no. Bagger: oh. Are they at home? Me: *still confused* Um, no. I don’t have any kids. Bagger: oh. Well...maybe one day! Me: Yeah.....one day.... 🤦🏻♀️
My mom wanted to me to show her my belly button to see if its going to poke out LOL. I'm like MOM it will, Its already really shallow but I'm not going to show you here in the middle of my driveway with everyone looking at me
My mom is the one making the most inappropriate comments to me...which is fine. Whatever.
I had to laugh though... This week there was a coworker I haven't seen in a while. And he asks how I've been, etc, and then pauses, looks at me and says.. "so....what's new?" And glances briefly at my belly. I laughed and said "well...I've gotten super fat lately...."😂 "Well...I didn't want to assume anything...."
@heml I’m also hoping my RNF keeps people from commenting! I’m pretty sure that’s why I’ve had minimal comments at work.
My FIL made a comment about breastfeeding/pumping in front of people. I told him to get used to it 😬 However, it may also be a good excuse to seclude myself.
MIL told me SIL is small & would never get as big as me. (She’s due near me). She is v petite, but still.
MH has been the first & only one to point out I’m waddling. That didn’t go over too well for him.
@thirdtimesacharm2019 I get very limited comments, but the a could be because I am very rarely in situations where I meet strangers. (DH does 90% of the errand running, I spent 99% of my time at home, work or with friends.) I did get one funny interaction at my cousins wedding last week. My cousin and I grew up in the same community, so I knew a lot of people at that wedding. In my culture we don't wish pregnant ladies congratulations, we say "b'sa'ah tova" it literally means "at a good time" it's colloquial meaning is that the baby should come at the right time and be healthy. The parents of my best friend growing up were there, and I went over to say hello. The mom gives me a side hug, and stage whispers, "do you get a b'sa'ah tova?" When I said yes, the dad said "B'sa'ah tovah, I never ask a lady, but if my wife says something I can tag on." Smart man!
@mrosek91 I like that translation... literally May you have this child when the time is right. That is so nice and non-invasive. And yes, I guess my lifestyle does have a lot to do with it. I work for a very large employer and in large office building, so there’s a familiarity with people I don’t really know that probably makes them think probing questions are ok.
Today we were at a kid’s bday party and the grandmother of the birthday boy (our friend’s mom) struck up a conversation with me, talking pregnancy, congratulating me, asking when baby was due. When I told her she looked a little surprised and then leaned closer conspiratorially: “you know.... you’re going to get a lot bigger.” Which I thought was hilarious because 1) yes I’ve done this before I’m aware that babies keep growing from month 7 to month 9, and 2) it was such a subtle-not-subtle way of saying “wow lady you’re so big already!”
@cato99 it’s times like that when I wish I could get really serious and say something like “noooo, I thought I was going to get smaller the last two months”... but I’m not that quick witted and I have zero poker face.
Also, if I had a dollar for everyone who pities me being pregnant “in this heat” I could start maternity leave right now.
Got my first “any day now!” comment tonight from my friend’s father. Since we were at a birthday party for my friend’s daughter, I decided it was the wrong time/place to explain that my cervix is nice and long, and my OB isn’t anticipating them making any kind of imminent arrival thankyouverymuch.
@zamora_spin Yesssss! If I had a dollar for every “oh, in this heat?!” I could start maternity leave right now. I have a July and January baby... so I was first tri nauseas with the January baby and that may have been worse.
Re: Inappropriate Comments/Questions Thread v2.0
@peachy0709 our world and families do not look like they used too...
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15
NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
I said yes and she said "that sucks!!"
Ha! Too bad!
Most students ask me 'when is the baby coming?' one student asked me the flip question: 'when did you get pregnant' and it was so weird. He meant nothing by it and didn't realize the connotation at all so I just answered him, but it was totally awkward in my mind haha.
coworker yesterday morning: 'i find pregnancy so fascinating, women go from not looking pregnant at all to just BAM all of a sudden and it just keeps growing' um, thanks....
same coworker yesterday afternoon waiting for a small meeting to officially start: 'i'm going to tell you the same thing i tell all the pregnant teachers: don't go into labour at school, otherwise you're going to be an eighth grade science lab' then a lot of laughs and jokes about 'lab open hours' should be called 'lab dilation hours' and measuring with rulers etc. ugghhhhh when he started talking about measuring dilation with rulers (and even about students measuring dilation with rulers) it was the last straw and I was like 'that's too far' and he stopped. but seriously? how could anyone think that is appropriate?
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
wth... who can see their butt?? I was so embarrassed I pulled away and kept walking.
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
i actually did get a, “wow why is your belly so humongous?!” Yesterday but it was from a 5 year old in my daughters class. I laughed.
We were on a long planning call and I hear his cell phone ring, he asks if I mind holding on for a minute. When he came back he said "do you randomly start crying for no reason?" I said "yes, she's pregnant, you just have to live with it." He went on for another minute or two about how it made no sense, she would just cry and when he tried to figure out why she couldn't tell him. I told him that's just what pregnant woman do.
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
Funny story. Another first grade class was visiting my classroom. One little boy said that I had already had the baby and another little girl butt in and said no the babies in my belly. Then another little boy looked horrified and said “She ate her baby???” We had a good laugh and told him no.
guy 1: “you must be due anyday now!”
me: *through gritted teeth and a forced smile because I’ve already had this conversation twice today with random stranger* “no sir, two more months”
guy 1: “two months!! Must be twins”
me: “no sir, just one baby”
guy 2: “must be a farmer”
I have to give him credit for creativity though... a FARMER?!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Older gentleman gets on elevator (there is definitely a theme with elevators):
Him: “are you going to make it to one?”
Me: *confused because it’s just after 2:00... then realizes he means the first floor 🤦🏻♀️* “I hope to make it further than that!”
Him: “when are you due?”
Me: “August”
Him: “is it two?” (Also a common theme)
Me: “nope, just one”
Him: “well you’re awfully big”
Y’all. He actually said that. What the F??? Luckily I’ve never been one to be too self conscious about my weight, but that’s over the top.
I think next time I get in an elevator I’m going to announce that “I’m due in August, just one baby, no further questions”.
The only super awkward convo I’ve had while pregnant happened with the guy bagging my groceries when I was almost due (like 38 weeks or so? very visibly pregnant) with DD.
Bagger: so are your kids in school?
Me: *quite confused* um, no.
Bagger: oh. Are they at home?
Me: *still confused* Um, no. I don’t have any kids.
Bagger: oh. Well...maybe one day!
Me: Yeah.....one day....
🤦🏻♀️
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
I had to laugh though...
This week there was a coworker I haven't seen in a while. And he asks how I've been, etc, and then pauses, looks at me and says.. "so....what's new?" And glances briefly at my belly.
I laughed and said "well...I've gotten super fat lately...."😂
"Well...I didn't want to assume anything...."
Smart man...
My FIL made a comment about breastfeeding/pumping in front of people. I told him to get used to it 😬 However, it may also be a good excuse to seclude myself.
MIL told me SIL is small & would never get as big as me. (She’s due near me). She is v petite, but still.
MH has been the first & only one to point out I’m waddling. That didn’t go over too well for him.
I did get one funny interaction at my cousins wedding last week. My cousin and I grew up in the same community, so I knew a lot of people at that wedding. In my culture we don't wish pregnant ladies congratulations, we say "b'sa'ah tova" it literally means "at a good time" it's colloquial meaning is that the baby should come at the right time and be healthy.
The parents of my best friend growing up were there, and I went over to say hello. The mom gives me a side hug, and stage whispers, "do you get a b'sa'ah tova?" When I said yes, the dad said "B'sa'ah tovah, I never ask a lady, but if my wife says something I can tag on." Smart man!
Also, if I had a dollar for everyone who pities me being pregnant “in this heat” I could start maternity leave right now.