Weekly Randoms 4/8

aukeev · April 2019

@jrm_14 I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Planning with family can be great sometimes, but can also be a huge challenge with that many peoples' feelings and opinions involved. I hope the showers go well!

lilmamabebe3 · April 2019

I think the "my baby" thing is so dependent on the relationship you have with those people. When I did speak to my mother, she was constantly undermining every choice I made or every thought I had (Oh, you'll never be like that when you actually have a baby, and other passive aggressive bullshit) and it really bothered me because it was another way of being a bitch.

My in laws make no effort to see our kids at all and so it would bother me if they did that. Not all family is created equal. Now, my best friend calls my kids her babies and I do the same to her kids, but I feel like she loves my kids like they're her own and I love when she does that. It just depends.

In other news, we had to let our nanny go this weekend. It really sucks for my kids. We have had a lot of maturity and reliability issues and this weekend was the final straw. So now I am scrambling for childcare for my kids and finding out that NO ONE has space for an infant by November. Shocking. I am honestly relieved because she was a lot of drama but I am so, so sad for my kids.

aukeev · April 2019

@lilmamabebe3 That's exactly how I feel on the "my baby" issue. It bothers me when my MIL says it because she is already very possessive of this baby. She even emphasizes the "my." However, I don't bat an eye at it when either of our grandmothers have said it because they call all of their great grandchildren their babies (even the older ones).

I'm so sorry about your nanny! That has to be a difficult situation. Hoping you find someone soon who is a better fit for your family!

Avrilmai · April 2019

@jrm_14 I realize I'm a bit late to the shower talk. I'm sorry your MIL isn't respecting the wishes of you and you're SIL; sounds like you were both trying to make things easier on the entire family. I can relate a bit. My sister started talking shower when I was like 13 weeks and I told her it was too soon. She is planning it with my mom and MIL. Then she wanted me to plan/pick all of the details: theme, date, location, etc. I told her that I really appreciate what she is doing, but I did not want to be involved in any of the decision making. I have since been asked to choose the invitation, the cake and a few other details. All of which I have replied have you asked the other 2 and have not made a decision. My mom is now trying to exclude my MIL because she's the "MIL" to which I had to reply, it is her grandchild too.

wabash15 · April 2019

@lilmamabebe3 so sorry your scrambling for child care. I had briefly thought about a nanny with having 4 in daycare once this one comes but my friends here who have had them its just been disaster after disaster and I have to have reliable child care. I really hope your able to find something that is a good fit soon.

jrm_14 · April 2019

@avrilmai Wow- I understand not wanting to make the decisions. I can see saying “oh, I like this flavor of cake” or “I don’t like chocolate”, but all the details seem much. Do your mother and MIL have much interaction?
Truth be told, I also want a combined family shower bc I do not feel comfortable with the attention all on me. Even though I’m 20+w, it is still a challenge to be excited and 100% hopeful.

suzycupcake · April 2019

We are doing a virtual baby shower aka a registry. All of our family is scattered around the states. I've been acting super excited about it but secretly, I'm sad because my heart has always been set on a traditional shower with all the things and all the people.

agpandme · April 2019

We had our shower this past weekend. It went well except for a group of people that didn't get the memo of where the bathroom was located (horse trailer with a full bathroom) and instead tromped through my house constantly. It was probably a little hard on the septic but we haven't seen any signs of stress LOL. It did make my floors dirty so I cleaned them as soon as most people left. Other than that, it was good. DH had fun unpacking gifts while I set nearby. I really loathe attention and he didn't know what was on the registry so it a surprise for him. Now I really need to get furniture to put all these things away. I was disappointed that one of my bottles went missing. I collect wine bottles with country/farm/horse themes and someone took the decorations off of it and took it (?!).I also cannot find a little palm leaf cowboy hat that was used on the bottle as a table center piece. It was my dogs and who the ef would steal my dogs hat? I have a couple suspects as there were only 3 or 4 people that care about horses and cowboy hats. Kind of bummed but I'm not going to ask anyone directly. I put out a general post on FB saying if your kid walked off with it accidentally, please return them

aukeev · April 2019

@suzycupcake Will you have a traditional shower at your office or with friends locally?

aukeev · April 2019

@agpandme That is awful if someone who knows and loves you would take things of yours. Hopefully they just got bumped/misplaced maybe when someone picked them up to look at them or a child played with them?

agpandme · April 2019

@oklahomak There were a couple guys there that were invited by DH and brought their girlfriends that I'm not close friends. They were the ones that didn't get the memo about the bathroom and stayed up on the deck instead of in the yard with everyone else. It was weird but I was too tired to care. I can't believe it either but I went through the garbage and looked everywhere for it. My post on FB said maybe a kid walked off it with accidentally. I'm not trying to blame anyone, I just hope they turn up.

aukeev · April 2019

@agpandme I hope they do, too!

MamaK225 · April 2019

@lilmamabebe3 - Sorry to hear about the nanny, I bet that is a scramble ... FX something works out, especially before the November timeline.

I'm still on the fence about a shower since this is number 2 and they're both summer babies. But if someone wants to do it, I don't mind going along for the ride. However, I completely agree with @Avrilmai: showers are meant to be a relaxing gathering of friends and family, not something YOU'RE supposed to plan or put a lot of thought into ... you're making a baby (or two).

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