This is a small thing, but it still bugged me. DH and I just found out on Monday that we're having a baby girl (so excited!). This is will be the 4th grandchild, and first granddaughter on my side. My in-laws have 8 grand kids (not including my current pregnancy), 7 of which are boys - one is my and DH's son. So needless to say, everyone was thrilled to find out we are having a girl.
We told our families the day of our ultrasound, which happened to be April Fools Day, so we played a mini prank. We asked our parents, via Facetime, how they felt about having another grandson. They ended up being completely different conversations with my parents and DH's parents.
My parent's said, "We feel great about that!" to which I got to reply saying, "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's a girl!!" and then even more happiness and excitement all around.
My MIL's response was, "Well, ya know, that's kinda what we figured it would be. That's okay. Ya know, I was preparing myself all day and just told myself that it was okay if it was going to be a boy as long as it's healthy. So it's okay." So our joke wasn't as fun/playful as we had intended it to be, and when we told her it was actually a girl, she lost it with excitement. And honestly, I was a little offended by her reaction. What if we were having a boy? That's certainly not the reaction we would have wanted because we would have been thrilled to have another boy.
@Oklahomak I was reading your MBF about your MIL having a nursery. Appearently, mine is also planning to acquire all the baby things & space. I hope I talked her out of buying herself a car seat. There is NO WAY in hell they are driving my child. None.
@suzycupcake I feel like when you offer to buy a crib, you offer to purchase the one the receiver wants. I like @sourlemon’s approach! My parents purchased us a rocker/glider- they even asked for the specific link! (Which MIL was disappointed bc she wanted to purchase us one).
@kminacap That was essentially the difference between MIL’s reaction for my boy vs SILs girl (first & second grandchild due in August).
@Allycat11 It happens unfortunately. My mom straight up said she doesn't get along with "boys". I'm not sure why she feels that way because she raised 5 girls. You would think she would be sick of girls LOL. Another grandson is on the way so she better suck it up
@agpandme I feel like I really struggle with other people having a gender preference for a baby that is not theirs because I have never even had a preference about my own baby. When I was pregnant with #2 MIL kept saying how it had to be a boy so she could have a miniature version of her son around. I think she hates that DD is my mini. Well, she got her wish...DS looks and acts JUST like DH.
11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS
10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks 1/12/13 DD was born 4/9/16 DS was born 9/17 CP 6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
@jrm_14 WHY do they fee the need to do this stuff? It would be different if they were watching the baby during the day and legitimately needed a space for him/her, but now it's just ridiculous. Good call on shutting down the car seat purchase! My MIL scoped out our infant seat last week and bought an extra base for her car.
@jrm_14 Ugh, why do people even care? More importantly, if it matters to them, why do they think it's okay to share their disappointment? It's such a quick way to ruin someone else's exciting news.
@agpandme How does one not get along with boys? Kids are kids! And little boys are so sweet. I'm sorry you got that response.
@Allycat11 YES. I hate that other people have any kind of preference of the sex of someone else's child. First of all, no body has any conscious choice in the matter. Second of all, if you're disappointed, don't tell the parents of the unborn baby. We are not having another baby for someone else's enjoyment. When I was pregnant with my first, we found out just before Christmas that he was going to be a boy. For our mini-reveal we stuffed glass Christmas ornaments with various blue decorations and gave them to family as "gifts from the baby." Everyone was so excited when they realized he was going to be a boy, but when my grandfather realized it he said, "It's a boy?" and I said, "Yes! It's a boy!" He threw his arms up in disappointment and scoffed. This time we just made a public announcement just yesterday and my DH's aunt (my MIL's childless by choice sister) commented "YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!! (another boy would have been fine....but YAAAAYYYYY!!!!) ❤️" I replied to her by saying, "we would have been thrilled to have another boy!" WTF, people??
I'm okay with her weird opinion. If she doesn't want to be a grandma to my son then its her own loss. She has 3 grand daughters but is obsessed with one of them to the point where she acts jealous when other people take care of her. Its really very strange. I think she has some sort of mental illness so I try to ignore it.
My MIL clearly has a favorite-her daughter’s child. She buys her tons of toys, babysits, etc. We just had our baby and whenever we send a photo or comment she compares our child to the newborn. She cannot give our newborn one moment without mentioning the other granddaughter.
My MIL is also super critical of other women. Even her own daughter, who we frequently hear comments about her weight and PMS. She has even referred to her daughter as a b-word. Her complaints to me “you look good, your face is less manly” or “ you look good like you filled out.” Her complaints are never sincere.
She has started to do this with my daughter. Pointing out flaws in my newborn. Any pic I send will come with a comment in scratches, pacifier use, etc. I have tried to say something but she denies it and never changes. She only says things when husband is not around. I’ve decided to keep comms through husband only. Thoughts on that action? I just don’t think we can get along.
Re: Monthly Mother-In-Law Madness - April
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
We told our families the day of our ultrasound, which happened to be April Fools Day, so we played a mini prank. We asked our parents, via Facetime, how they felt about having another grandson. They ended up being completely different conversations with my parents and DH's parents.
My parent's said, "We feel great about that!" to which I got to reply saying, "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's a girl!!" and then even more happiness and excitement all around.
My MIL's response was, "Well, ya know, that's kinda what we figured it would be. That's okay. Ya know, I was preparing myself all day and just told myself that it was okay if it was going to be a boy as long as it's healthy. So it's okay." So our joke wasn't as fun/playful as we had intended it to be, and when we told her it was actually a girl, she lost it with excitement. And honestly, I was a little offended by her reaction. What if we were having a boy? That's certainly not the reaction we would have wanted because we would have been thrilled to have another boy.
@suzycupcake I feel like when you offer to buy a crib, you offer to purchase the one the receiver wants. I like @sourlemon’s approach! My parents purchased us a rocker/glider- they even asked for the specific link! (Which MIL was disappointed bc she wanted to purchase us one).
@kminacap That was essentially the difference between MIL’s reaction for my boy vs SILs girl (first & second grandchild due in August).
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
@agpandme How does one not get along with boys? Kids are kids! And little boys are so sweet. I'm sorry you got that response.
@Allycat11 YES. I hate that other people have any kind of preference of the sex of someone else's child. First of all, no body has any conscious choice in the matter. Second of all, if you're disappointed, don't tell the parents of the unborn baby. We are not having another baby for someone else's enjoyment.
When I was pregnant with my first, we found out just before Christmas that he was going to be a boy. For our mini-reveal we stuffed glass Christmas ornaments with various blue decorations and gave them to family as "gifts from the baby." Everyone was so excited when they realized he was going to be a boy, but when my grandfather realized it he said, "It's a boy?" and I said, "Yes! It's a boy!" He threw his arms up in disappointment and scoffed.
This time we just made a public announcement just yesterday and my DH's aunt (my MIL's childless by choice sister) commented "YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!! (another boy would have been fine....but YAAAAYYYYY!!!!) ❤️" I replied to her by saying, "we would have been thrilled to have another boy!" WTF, people??
My MIL is also super critical of other women. Even her own daughter, who we frequently hear comments about her weight and PMS. She has even referred to her daughter as a b-word. Her complaints to me “you look good, your face is less manly” or “ you look good like you filled out.” Her complaints are never sincere.
She has started to do this with my daughter. Pointing out flaws in my newborn. Any pic I send will come with a comment in scratches, pacifier use, etc. I have tried to say something but she denies it and never changes. She only says things when husband is not around. I’ve decided to keep comms through husband only. Thoughts on that action? I just don’t think we can get along.