Monthly Mother-In-Law Madness - April — The Bump
August 2019 Moms

Monthly Mother-In-Law Madness - April

Oh, Mothers in Law. 

Sometimes they're amazing, often they're maddening, and now we're experiencing a whole new side of them while we're expecting. Feel free to share any MIL drama in your life - snappy comments, unwanted opinions, you name it. 


12/13/18 - First BFP! EDD 8/27/19
9/2/19 - Baby #1 Born
2/17/21 - BFP, MC at 7 weeks
6/4/21 - BFP, CP determined

suzycupcakemoon1417AvrilmaiWinchesterGirlMamaK225jrm_14Allycat11
«1

Re: Monthly Mother-In-Law Madness - April

  • Loading the player...
  • Loading the player...
  •  :o@Avrilmai What did you say in response to that???
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
    Avrilmai
  • @Allycat11 oof. I don’t think I could get over that comment either. 

    My relationship with my MIL has been a long, slow build. We are actually in a good place now, and she is a very loving and helpful grandma. She is a devote catholic and after we were engaged she wrote my H a long winded email about how she felt like watching him marry a non-catholic was like watching a crop die in a field. WTH! Still gets me riled up lol. All that said, she seems to have said her peace with the religion stuff and has been mostly quiet about it since... we aren’t super close but I know it could be way worse. (Just by reading all the comments above! 😬)
    Allycat11suzycupcakeaukeevwabash15
  • @Allycat11 I really don't have words for your MIL's comment, or her ridiculous feelings while you were in the ER with this one. That is a whole new level of horrible.
    12/13/18 - First BFP! EDD 8/27/19
    9/2/19 - Baby #1 Born
    2/17/21 - BFP, MC at 7 weeks
    6/4/21 - BFP, CP determined

    Allycat11wabash15
  • @jrm_14 In the eyes of my ILs, it's my fault that he doesn't have a relationship with them. It is 100% his choice and I've never stood in the way of him or our kids having a relationship with them - he just doesn't want to. 
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
    jrm_14Allycat11WinchesterGirl
  • @peachy0709 we are in the same boat over here. DH chooses not to have a relationship with most of his family and I get all of the blame. MIL is delusional and thinks he was always super close to everyone before I came along. FIL thankfully sees the reality that DH moved out at 18 and pretty much did his own thing from then on. 
    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

    MamaK225peachy0709jrm_14
  • mkrelmkrel member
    @aecm How did that call of the engagement comment go down?  I would love to hear that story if you're willing to share.  That is crazy!!!!!

    My MIL lives over 1,000 miles away and I only see her a few times a year so I don't have much!
    MamaK225
  • @jrm_14 your post made me really sad. I know your son will feel so much love from you & your DH, I hope you MIL and her desire for a girl is something that he never, ever notices. 

    @Allycat11 7 years or 27 years I don't think it is something that you ever "get over." What a horrible thing to say. 

    @suzycupcake I just drank the decaf. as for the timing I smiled and said I'm hoping to get to full term and to take my baby home, whatever day that may be. 

    after reading some of these stories I'm thinking I shouldn't complain too much, but really my mom drives me crazy too. 
    Me: mid 30s DH: early 30s
    TTC 10/2016

    "Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
    some doors are open, some roads are blocked" 
    MamaK225jrm_14Allycat11wabash15
  • @MamaK225 - That might be the most profound thing anyone has ever said about the situation!!! Wow.  I'm in awe.  I should mentioned that my own parents give me sh** for the relationship too - again, like I have some magical power over DH that keeps him from picking up the phone himself. 
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
    wabash15jrm_14MamaK225WinchesterGirl
  • @Allycat11 - YES, exactly.  DH despised his parents when I came along for a lot of reasons but apparently I stole him away (they live in Michigan and we're in the South) and my parents "wooed him" with extravagant things like childcare! 
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
    wabash15jrm_14MamaK225
  • @peachy0709 @MamaK225 @Allycat11 I'm in a similar situation. DH is not an extended family guy. He's actually similar to his dad in that way. He loves his core family of me and DD, but just doesn't see much value in too much contact with any family beyond that. I'm always being told by my ILs and my own mother, who I'm close with, that I should be making sure he calls and keeps connected. That is not my role. If my MIL was so concerned about that then she should have raised him to value those relationships. I'm not here to fix where she messed up. I have my own extended family that I'm very close with, but also take a lot of energy and time, I don't need to spend more time on DH's family. If he wants to go visit, I'll go because I have been raised to believe that is just want you do with family, but I'm not initiating it.
    Me 31  <3  DH 34
    TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15
    NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Allycat11MamaK225WinchesterGirl
  • aecmaecm member
    @mkrel I wasn’t around when MIL tried to get DH to call of the engagement, and he was smart enough not to tell me until a bit after the wedding when the sh*t really started to hit the fan.

    Our relationship was fine until we had to plan the wedding, then everything boiled over around the holidays. Originally we planned to spend our first Thanksgiving with my in-laws then travel and spend Christmas with my family. We soon realized my green card wouldn’t be processed in time for me to go back to Canada for Christmas, so my parents decided to come to us instead. They suggested we all get together with DH’s family since we would be in the area. DH’s aunt didn’t want my parents to come (weird, but whatever- it was at her house, so her call) so we decided the 4 of us would just celebrate together. MIL flipped out. She had offered to host my parents (and us) on Christmas Eve, but still wanted DH and I to show up at his aunt’s on Christmas Day...leaving my parents alone at their hotel. I refused, a huge argument ensued, lots of cursing on her part, and it ended up with her uninviting us to Thanksgiving. 

    The blowout happened RIGHT before we left for our honeymoon, and she also changed her mind about dog sitting for us, so we had to scramble to get the dog a kennel, arrange for a friend to pick the dog up and get her back to our place before the kennel closed for the holiday. We spent Thanksgiving alone in our apartment. I think we ate leftover takeout. My parents decided to step back and stayed home for Christmas to avoid more drama, so MIL got her way and we were with her for Christmas, but the whole incident ended up irreparably souring our relationship. 
    BabyFetus Ticker
    MamaK225EmilyA724jrm_14WinchesterGirl
  • @aecm - Wow. Just wow.
    @lilmamabebe3 - Nope. Immediate removal of that relationship. How awful.
    @peachy0709 - I swear there are two camps of moms/grandmothers: those who are thrilled to be grandparents/parents and want to do whatever they can to help AND people who forgot what those hellish first few days/weeks are like and/or lost all "motherly" touch once the kids moved out and have happily settled into their role as empty-nester (making it difficult for them to give of themselves to others). Just all the nope.
    **History in Spoiler**
    Me-35, DH-36 - TTC since 08/10
    Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count
       IUI#1   - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM
       IVF#1  - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice
       FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
       FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
       FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
       FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil)
    ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day)
       FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
    Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok)
       FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
       FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
       FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)


    jrm_14WinchesterGirl
  • @lilmamabebe3 wow... that is some crazy ish... to call while in basic training?!?! and to jump to divorce?!?!  WTH
    @peachy0709 I'm so sorry MIL formula shamed you and you got the bum-rush at the hospital room... Nope, not OK. 

    really my mom is the special one. She demanded to be at the birth of the twins (umm nope) but then didn't answer the phone or call us back for 3 days after they were born. She then demanded to come meet them on my last weekend of mat leave and made me do all the work (cooking/cleaning/etc). She hasnt seen the twins since they were 4mo and has never met DD2... I have mixed feelings about this. also none of the grandparents were happy to hear about baby #4
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

    peachy0709jrm_14MamaK225
  • @wabash15 - Why is it SO many people have opinions about OTHER people's family planning? Nope!
    **History in Spoiler**
    Me-35, DH-36 - TTC since 08/10
    Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count
       IUI#1   - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM
       IVF#1  - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice
       FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
       FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
       FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
       FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil)
    ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day)
       FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
    Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok)
       FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
       FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
       FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)


    jrm_14wabash15
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards