Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
sue2019
member
Re: March 2019 FET
This is my first transfer, not entirely sure what to expect.
This is also my first transfer. I got pregnant with my third cycle of IUI, but was chemical.
@ellis1983 sorry to hear about your failed transfer. I do feel super tired, and assume I’d because of the meds.
March is the month for us!! Best of luck!
The most recent was September, *trigger warning* it took for the first time ever and we lost it the morning we were supposed to hear the heartbeat (8 weeks). While devastating, it let us know we had found the right protocol, so January I did another retrieval (but was hyper stimulated so I could not do a fresh transfer). I’m hopeful this cycle is THE one.
We did the uterine scratch, and will be using the antihistamine protocol as well as acupuncture.
Good luck to everyone here.
Right now I'm on BCP and will be getting our dates for this FET cycle given to us on March 5th. Fingers crossed for everyone here!
Me: 34, DH: 38 ~ TTC since 2014
IUI #1-3 (Nov 2015, Feb 2016, May 2016) = BFNs
IVF ER (July 2016) = 7 PGS normal embryos
FET #1 (Sept 2016) = BFP! DD born 5/30/17
FET #2 (April 2019) = BFN
FET #3 (July 2019) = BFP! DS born 3/27/20
Good luck to us all!
@jessica8bryant I am so sorry that happened to you. I wish you the best if luck for this FET
how is everyone doing? I start my full set of meds on 3/6. They have me on estradiol 2x a day plus patches every other day (up to 4 patches). I’m a little nervous I’ll be a crazy person on that much estrogen, but what can ya do! Transfer is set for 3/21...which is crazy to think about.
Good of luck to everyone!!
Me: 34, DH: 38 ~ TTC since 2014
IUI #1-3 (Nov 2015, Feb 2016, May 2016) = BFNs
IVF ER (July 2016) = 7 PGS normal embryos
FET #1 (Sept 2016) = BFP! DD born 5/30/17
FET #2 (April 2019) = BFN
FET #3 (July 2019) = BFP! DS born 3/27/20
After my tiny lupron shot last night (it really hurt!) I broke down and wanted to quit so badly. I won’t, but I want too. I know I’m so close, but my will is starting to break. I keep telling myself 16 more days...
@jessica8bryant this is my first round but I definitely plan on testing at home. I’ve been so patient with everything else, I feel I deserve to at least do that lol...
Today, is 4dp trasfer and I’m super bloated!! I’ve been like this for the last two days- my belly is distended. Also, the night before last, I started to wake up in the middle of the night with an intense need to urinate followed by strong cramps for like an hour. Is this caused by progesterone injections?!
Cramps last night as well.
@sue2019 I am sorry that must be very uncomfortable. During my last FET I did experience cramping, however it was very light. I did have to pee a lot but the feeling was never intense. I would talk to your nurse and ask if this is normal.
My first FET was early January that sadly resulted in a BFN... I went on a month of birth control then started prepping for my second transfer, which was supposed to be March 1st. Unfortunately we had to cancel a few days before because there was fluid in my uterus. My doctor doesn't know the cause, but it may have been because of the scratch biopsy we tried this time around. So no scratch this time (thank god, it was horribly painful), but I still had a little fluid at my early ultrasound yesterday.
Has any one else experience this before? I'm hoping it resolves on it's own and we don't have to aspirate or cancel... this is just such a rollercoaster.
@jessica8bryant last time I tested on Day 6, and got a faint line, so that is my plan this time. Maybe Day 5 if I get bored. Lol. I'm hoping at least one decides to stick. I'm dreading the thought of a 4th harvest if these little ones don't take.
They called with my time today, 2:30pm, so I'll have to drink my gallon of water (I say gallon because any time I do 32oz they tell me I'm not full enough) around noon and hold it. The good news is DH is off and will be home with me, and I traded shifts at work so I have a full week off with no heavy lifting (I'm a nurse on a rehab unit).
@sue2019 I'm guessing part of it is the progesterone. Since I started PIO when I gotta go I gotta go...not always the most convenient thing at work.
Sending hopeful thoughts your way. Good luck!
@FayEgo good luck with your transfer tomorrow!
@ashcash03 The full bladder is the worst thing for me during the transfer. It is so uncomfortable, all I could think of was wanting them to hurry so I could pee but at the same time wanted them to take their time and make sure the embryo was were it needed to be. My RE said it was fine to pee right after the procedure was complete but I probably laid there for about 20 min afterwards...longest 20 min of my life. You are so lucky you will not have to deal with that lol.
laurenc436 I am not for FET not scheduled till April. But I have luprolide (I believe this is HCG) as part of my protocol. I have not been given any exact medication instructions. I am waiting for AF, the RE wants to do a hysteroscopy before FET. I assume that is when I will get further medication instructions. I will as RE if it produces false positives
I am a genetic carrier using PGD testing
Dec 2018 ER = 0 PGS normal embryos
Jan 2019 ER = 1 PGD/ PGS normal embryo, 1 carrier embryo, 1 no result
April 2019 Hysteroscopy to remove polyp and Fibroid
May 2019 FET = BFN
September 2019 FET = BFN
Dec 2019 ER = 1 carrier embryo
Mar ER = 0 PGS normal embryos
July 2020 ER = 0 PGS normal embryos
October 2020 Hysteroscopy to remove polyps
Nov 2020 FET = positive (little one due July 2021)
I had had my first lining check this am. Good news was it was already at 10mm and therefore they will lower my estradiol dosage. Bad news they will not transfer any earlier than next thurs. I was hoping I’d get to skip some meds and just get to it already lol
Thank you everyone for the well wishes. We transferred 2 AA blasts, one partially hatching. On the way in one stuck to the catheter and had to be coaxed out. Doc says “sticky” embryos are good luck with her. So now I just wait.
AFM: I have decided to go back to work the next day, I sit all day so I don't think it will be a big deal to return. I also think it will help make time go by faster...or at least I hope it will. Last transfer most people at work knew I was going thru IVF, but this time around I have only told my boss. My coworkers were really supportive during my last transfer but the look of pity on their face is not something I want to deal with again if this does not work. Now I understand why most couples wait until after the first trimester to announce.
Today, I’m on day 7 post transfer- 5 more days until my scheduled beta. I’m not testing before, too scared! Rather wait. During the first 6 days I had some symptoms (cramping, bloating, spotting). Now, on day 7, I had some breast tenderness, not too bad. All other symptoms are improving (no spotting, mild intermittent cramps at night, no headaches, much less bloating). Is this usual course? Symptoms make you feel something is happening, but no symptoms make me scared! The tww is so tough!
Good luck to you as well!