I’m super bummed that our June board is so dead/slow on activity. I feel cheated that we don’t have more community and I’m kinda pissed at the ladies that peaced out and started their own group a while back.
Are there enough of us still here to salvage this?? Or should I keep creeping on July’s board??
I wanna boooooond with you June mommas!!
(I initially started this as an UO post but I feel like it’s a big enough topic for a separate thread.)
I'm assuming the ladies who started their own group are the ones I'm about to reference here, but I don't care...
I feel like there was a group of women who were so mean to anyone who wasn't in their "clique" that it turned people off. I honestly didn't want to participate for the longest time because of these mean girls. I'm wondering if that just turned people away from this board. Ironically they were the only ones posting, so now that they're gone the board is dead.
I don’t understand why anyone would be mean to one another. This is supposed to be a community forum to get advice, share and get to know people. I came here sort of late so I haven’t experienced any negativity. This is my first child and I was looking for a support group because I am not sure what to expect.
@ami500 I remember there was literally a post about creating a June 2019 Facebook page "for those who make the cut". I can't fathom how sad your life must be to lord over strangers you'll never meet in a "The Bump" forum, but it really turned me off to participating for the longest time.
There were also people posting one-off posts instead in the proper places (like the "introduce yourself here!") and instead of pointing them in the right direction they would post sarcastic memes/gifs and yell at them for being "snowflakes". They were very ugly people.
The vitriol I saw sort of inhibited me from posting for quite a while, then when I finally started the board had died.
It’s a shame that so many people were scared off by ladies that left soon afterward anyway - that makes me sad.
I have loved the energy and vibes I’ve seen since then - no need to pounce on people who don’t post perfectly! It just saddens me that we’re so slow and so few people post.
I know there is still time and I do hope we (as a board) are able to form a strong and welcoming community as we get closer to baby’s due date. I just miss getting on here and seeing more posts.
Thanks for your thoughts, ladies. And - even if we’re slower - I think we’ve got some pretty wonderful energy going since the mass exodus.
I too am very disappointed that there isn’t much activity anymore. When I joined I mainly creeped on the posts since I was here mainly for the information but as it started getting aggressive I definitely took a step back and was a bit turned off by the whole thing. I’m glad we still have a few ladies left! I have benefited from all of the opinions and knowledge and wisdom people have shared (this is my first and I know/knew nothing!!) so I really want this to still be a thing. But I too have been creeping on July’s posts just because it’s more lively. It’s truly too bad that this community has broken down due to what happened. It’s akin to mom-shaming and it’s painful to watch. We are going through this together and we are supposed to be here to support each other! I’m not crazy active on here (1-2 posts a week max) but I AM still here and will be for those who are on the fence.
I’m due May 28th but agree with what is being said about why the boards are dead. For me ;some of the rudeness has put me off from posting much. Currently having complications with my little one.. they think he might have half a heart and I’m waiting to be referred to an advanced hospital for a more detailed ultrasound but I wish I could find an active group with other high risk I’m not sure what to expect and was sad to see the boards die. Wishing all the other moms a healthy pregnancy ❤️
I have been pretty quiet as well but I was nervous to jump in before. It was strange seeing how cruel people were being when ladies were coming here for a community and advice. I wanted to get more involved but was afraid to post something incorrectly. I hope we can all come together for these last 4-5 months and build a community!
Well it seems that there are still plenty of us here that have absolutely no interest in the mean girl style boards of yesterday - and every interest in making meaningful and kind connections with the ladies that remain. Let’s keep doing that @knicolea25 I’m really sorry that you’re dealing with that - I pray they’re wrong about that little heart, and if they’re right I will be praying even harder! Just yesterday I was told a story about a little girl who had the exact same thing - and though she had quite a few surgeries very young, she’s now healthy and happy. People are sharing these stories with me because I’m now high risk too - my AS showed a 2 valve umbilical cord and now I have to wait weeks for another scan. It’s really hard to feel the same excitement when I know something is wrong. Please let me know if you find a more solid support group - and in the meantime I hope we can all be there for each other.
Just wanted to clarify that absolutely none of the ladies that moved were mean. In fact, I’m struggling with preterm labor at the moment and all of the ladies that moved with me have been supportive and praying for my son and I all the time.
I wanted to clarify the reason for the move and the reason we all got stabby when people didn’t follow guidelines. This is a large group, hundreds of women. If everyone posted their own thread everytime they had a thought to, this board could see close to 500 posts a day. Nobody has time to sift through that. Which means nobody is going to sift through that. That’s a problem, because when someone has a loss and needs support or someone is going through something very difficult, those threads get lost in the clutter. Now someone isn’t getting any support because the board is cluttered with 30 baby name threads and 50 registry threads.
Also, the reason people have to “make the cut” is because Facebook is a very public platform and people are sharing details about their location, their jobs, their spouses, and most importantly their children. Would you want someone you have never heard of or seen before having access to that information? Of course not. Believe it or not, TONS of people lurk these boards and read these threads. You can’t be naive enough to think all of them have good intentions. Someone in another group I was in had pictures of her child stolen and used to lure women into “meeting” a local “mom” when indeed it was just a creep.
I'm also part of the group that moved, although I still try to dabble here every once in a while to check in and support anyone posting on the abnormal nt results thread. I had some scares in this pregnancy and created a bond with the ladies that were posting here originally and all moved over. They have shown me such a level of support with the things I went through and the stress I still experience from them. I wish everyone a happy healthy 9 months and given that I was high risk with some abnormal test results, I just don't feel comfortable opening up to a ton of new people after sharing my journey already with a group that has been actively supportive through my entire pregnancy and already knows my story. It's nothing personal and not meant to offend anyone. I'm normally already a very closed off, shy person so I'm naturally also not an internet social butterfly either.
I don’t want to pile on here but I do think we were called out unfairly and on untrue statements. On this board we tried to stick to an organizational method that had been shown to work in the past and for the majority of the ladies here. We politely redirected one off posts/inappropriate posts but if we got snark we responded in kind. We are here to support, not hold hands and cater to every drive-by poster.
Also there was no clique, the ladies that moved over were regular posters that showed support. There are so many different personalities and opinions within our group. It’s not a popularity contest by any stretch but a group of unique, flawed and pregnant women that genuinely care and are there for each other. I am personally invested in every one of them and their pregnancies just as I would be my own family and friends.
I’m glad you’re all feeling supported by each other - genuinely- and if it took moving groups to feel that, whatever floats your boat.
Regarding the “unfairness” of what quite a few ppl have mentioned above:
There were quite a few posts that started to look very “mob mentality” — whether it was realized or not. (These are long past at this point - back when board was more robust.)
***Yes, board organization should be valued, but not over support, patience, and understanding.***
These boards are for community - we’re not doing excell spreadsheets on solving world hunger. A little mess is okay - especially with all the other worries many of us have.
I would have much preferred a slightly messy but active board to the pitchforks that came out when someone would do a one-off post, etc.
Regardless, I don’t personally know any of you or have some vendetta against any one poster. It’s nice to have y’all back, even if it’s juat to defend yourselves.
We’re all pregnant, I can speak for myself and say I’m f*cking terrified and sensitive, and I’m not about to waste any more time debating etiquette or labels on this board.
I’d love to support y’all and get to know whomever sticks around. Healthy pregnancies to everybody else, truly truly
I am sorry that you feel that way. With over 400 posts in the intro thread, theoretically there should be enough people in June that the small group leaving wouldn't cause even a small ripple. Continue to post, it may become alive again. You just have to be active.
FWIW, My husband is in the military (as are a few other ladies in this group) and OPSEC (Operation Security) and PERSEC (Personal Security) are very important and I take them seriously. I just don't feel comfortable sharing many personal details about myself, my children, or my husband without some level of security. You don't know who is lurking.
I feel out of it, i didn't realize a people left and started their own group. If that's what they want, so let it be. I'm hoping when the group migrates to Facebook more people are involved. I'm really close with my August BMB, and I noticed once we moved to Facebook, it got better and more personable.
I think it's a shame things died down on the board but it does seem odd that just a small group of women leaving would slow things to such a crawl.
I would agree with both sides presented here and say that the organization of the board has been very helpful and made it much more enjoyable. On the flip side it can also intimidate people when they come in and try to participate (albeit without reading all the rules and instructions first) and get directed to act/post/participate differently. I can see how even simple instructive posts can be interpreted as "snarky" when they are not at all intended to be. But let's all remember it's over TEXT. There is no tone of voice, no subtle body language to clue the reader/recipient in to the speaker's intention. People read things how they want--if they are looking to be offended they will be. If they are looking for advice and support but guidance with board etiquette they will find that.
I support the women who left if they felt that another forum would be better suited to meet their needs. Who am I to judge and say they can't go? I'm happy they found a place that suits them.
For those of us that remain I think we have to define for ourselves what kind of board we want and we have to make it what we want. There are enough people to keep things moving and keep the discussions flowing. It's up to the people who remain to shape the "community" now.
That being said, if you've chosen to step away from this board please "divest" yourself from ownership and directorship of the shape this board takes in the future. I welcome EVERYONE to continue to look/lurk, post and support, (even if you are part of other groups!) but if you've chosen to take the majority of your support somewhere else then I feel you must step away from correcting or directing others about how to post and leave that to those who use this as their primary group.
I second what @gta4334 said. The groups only as good as we make it. If we want to make this lively, then we should all be part of it! If the ones who left want to come back, they're more than welcomed, but at the end of the the day, this is a support group, so we should be supporting each other!
That being said, if you've chosen to step away from this board please "divest" yourself from ownership and directorship of the shape this board takes in the future. I welcome EVERYONE to continue to look/lurk, post and support, (even if you are part of other groups!) but if you've chosen to take the majority of your support somewhere else then I feel you must step away from correcting or directing others about how to post and leave that to those who use this as their primary group.
I find it ironic that people had a problem with how the board was organized because it was telling people “what to do” and they should be able to post whatever and wherever. And now those same people are saying those who aren’t showing support here, left, and only lurk shouldn’t post here.
You do all realize the PG is made up of people who did show support here on a consistent basis. The only people who weren’t invited, were the lurkers...
You can’t complain that the board is dead because people left and in the same breath say it was all the “mean girls” and you are glad they left. So do you miss us, or not miss us? Because I’m confused.
ETA: I don’t think anyone from the PG has even come here to “take ownership” of the board since they left. If anything, people from the PG have only come out of lurking to A. Address this post or B. Show support to someone who recently posted a TW.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@ballofmeat I never said those who left should "only lurk" in fact what I said was "I welcome EVERYONE to continue to look/lurk, post and support, (even if you are part of other groups!) but if you've chosen to take the majority of your support somewhere else then I feel you must step away from correcting or directing others about how to post and leave that to those who use this as their primary group."
To me this means that if someone were to put a one-off post on the board it doesn't make sense for those who have left to get upset about this and direct people to the introduction and rules posts if those who are here don't have a problem with a few one-off posts every now and then. To clarify, I don't know that this has happened as of yet.
Your post now is actually a perfect example of getting snarky when there is no need to be. I was nothing but supportive of those who left in my original post. Your desire to initiate drama is not appreciated.
@ballofmeat I never said those who left should "only lurk" in fact what I said was "I welcome EVERYONE to continue to look/lurk, post and support, (even if you are part of other groups!) but if you've chosen to take the majority of your support somewhere else then I feel you must step away from correcting or directing others about how to post and leave that to those who use this as their primary group."
To me this means that if someone were to put a one-off post on the board it doesn't make sense for those who have left to get upset about this and direct people to the introduction and rules posts if those who are here don't have a problem with a few one-off posts every now and then. To clarify, I don't know that this has happened as of yet.
Your post now is actually a perfect example of getting snarky when there is no need to be. I was nothing but supportive of those who left in my original post. Your desire to initiate drama is not appreciated.
Hm see yeah I disagree with that last sentence there. Drama was initiated when OP created this post and said those who left were mean girls.
What did you all expect? Poke the bear and then be all offended when they come back to respond? Oh please.
And if you forgot or someone tries to DD. Lemme refresh your memory.
I'm assuming the ladies who started their own group are the ones I'm about to reference here, but I don't care...
I feel like there was a group of women who were so mean to anyone who wasn't in their "clique" that it turned people off. I honestly didn't want to participate for the longest time because of these mean girls. I'm wondering if that just turned people away from this board. Ironically they were the only ones posting, so now that they're gone the board is dead.
That's my two cents.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@ballofmeat I don't disagree that the use of "Mean Girls" was a form of name-calling that while might have been how the OP felt wasn't perhaps the best way to go about expressing this and as you say "poked the bear".
I also think your comment to me directly was an attempt at additional drama. Perhaps the use of the term "start" was inaccurate in placing initiation of drama at your feet. For that I will retract.
I'm also not "offended" that you came back to respond. It appears to me that you are offended that people felt your actions were mean. That's on you.
@gta4334 it is just slightly confusing that after we left no one from our group has been here dictating the board organization. Your comment of divesting ourselves seemed unnecessary. More than a few of us lurk this board to add our support or advice when it pertains but we have not stepped on toes or tried to mess with the current flow.
For all intents and purposes this board is your guys’ and has been. If you want to fault us for responding when we got called out, don’t call us out. I know I will support and offer advice when I can. There are still a few ladies here I like and lurk on when they post as well as adding my experience to a post that I can relate to.
Yep, I never got into posting here much because of some of the issues raised. Nothing wrong with leaving this board to start a different one. Nothing wrong with lurking here, either. But I don’t think it’s right to pretty much check out, but then pop back in just to police others and enforce/justify rules. That’s basically ensuring that if the board won’t operate the way you want it to, it will simply stay dead. I guess we’ll see what happens the next time there’s an “errant” post...
@laura_pdx@gta4334 please, someone show me when a member who left the main board for the private group has “policed” or tried to enforce the rules since we left. The private group was made the last week of December...so please show me when in January/February anyone has shown any type of redirection or what you call policeing of this board...
Lets be real. The board isn’t dead because people were mean. It’s dead because the ones who are lefft have nothing interesting to say and had zero interest in forming relationships when the board was active.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
For those of us that remain I think we have to define for ourselves what kind of board we want and we have to make it what we want. There are enough people to keep things moving and keep the discussions flowing. It's up to the people who remain to shape the "community" now.
That being said, if you've chosen to step away from this board please "divest" yourself from ownership and directorship of the shape this board takes in the future. I welcome EVERYONE to continue to look/lurk, post and support, (even if you are part of other groups!) but if you've chosen to take the majority of your support somewhere else then I feel you must step away from correcting or directing others about how to post and leave that to those who use this as their primary group.
This drama is why I never got into posting much... anyway... anyone who is left, I’m in group 2 and we don’t have a ton of activity in our check ins, would anyone be opposed to combining into a full month check in? Instead of 4 different?
I can't help but point out how interesting it is that when someone posted heartbreaking news recently that the majority of the responses offering support and condolences were people who are members of the private group. Not only does it show we aren't very mean, but also shows that the majority of the people who are left don't have much interest in creating a community or offering support to others. Just my two cents.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Everyone is entitled to their feelings. whether they feel like others were being "mean girls", or if they feel they weren't getting the right support. Nothing wrong with starting a separate group. My one question is, what defines "support", I feel there were some people here who did show support, probably not daily posters, but were involved, and aren't part of this "new group".
Regardless, for those who want to continue a support group here, we need to step up and revive the group. If others want to come back, that would be great, if not, then best of luck to them.
*Lurking* @BumpAdmin if this thread is so heinous that you're going to be banning people because of it, then why is it still open? A little consistency in how you're going to enforce the rules is the least you can offer the folks that use these boards. One of the comments that was apparently so mean that it got the user banned apparently wasn't mean enough to merit removal due to TOU violation? If it doesn't need to be removed, then why did she get banned or even warned?
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
Re: Why our board is dead...
I feel like there was a group of women who were so mean to anyone who wasn't in their "clique" that it turned people off. I honestly didn't want to participate for the longest time because of these mean girls. I'm wondering if that just turned people away from this board. Ironically they were the only ones posting, so now that they're gone the board is dead.
That's my two cents.
There were also people posting one-off posts instead in the proper places (like the "introduce yourself here!") and instead of pointing them in the right direction they would post sarcastic memes/gifs and yell at them for being "snowflakes". They were very ugly people.
The vitriol I saw sort of inhibited me from posting for quite a while, then when I finally started the board had died.
It’s a shame that so many people were scared off by ladies that left soon afterward anyway - that makes me sad.
I have loved the energy and vibes I’ve seen since then - no need to pounce on people who don’t post perfectly! It just saddens me that we’re so slow and so few people post.
I know there is still time and I do hope we (as a board) are able to form a strong and welcoming community as we get closer to baby’s due date. I just miss getting on here and seeing more posts.
Thanks for your thoughts, ladies. And - even if we’re slower - I think we’ve got some pretty wonderful energy going since the mass exodus.
I'm glad it worked out for those who stuck around
Happy and healthy 9 months to y'all!
Let’s keep doing that
@knicolea25 I’m really sorry that you’re dealing with that - I pray they’re wrong about that little heart, and if they’re right I will be praying even harder!
Just yesterday I was told a story about a little girl who had the exact same thing - and though she had quite a few surgeries very young, she’s now healthy and happy.
People are sharing these stories with me because I’m now high risk too - my AS showed a 2 valve umbilical cord and now I have to wait weeks for another scan.
It’s really hard to feel the same excitement when I know something is wrong.
Please let me know if you find a more solid support group - and in the meantime I hope we can all be there for each other.
Just wanted to clarify that absolutely none of the ladies that moved were mean. In fact, I’m struggling with preterm labor at the moment and all of the ladies that moved with me have been supportive and praying for my son and I all the time.
I wanted to clarify the reason for the move and the reason we all got stabby when people didn’t follow guidelines. This is a large group, hundreds of women. If everyone posted their own thread everytime they had a thought to, this board could see close to 500 posts a day. Nobody has time to sift through that. Which means nobody is going to sift through that. That’s a problem, because when someone has a loss and needs support or someone is going through something very difficult, those threads get lost in the clutter. Now someone isn’t getting any support because the board is cluttered with 30 baby name threads and 50 registry threads.
Also, the reason people have to “make the cut” is because Facebook is a very public platform and people are sharing details about their location, their jobs, their spouses, and most importantly their children. Would you want someone you have never heard of or seen before having access to that information? Of course not. Believe it or not, TONS of people lurk these boards and read these threads. You can’t be naive enough to think all of them have good intentions. Someone in another group I was in had pictures of her child stolen and used to lure women into “meeting” a local “mom” when indeed it was just a creep.
Also there was no clique, the ladies that moved over were regular posters that showed support. There are so many different personalities and opinions within our group. It’s not a popularity contest by any stretch but a group of unique, flawed and pregnant women that genuinely care and are there for each other. I am personally invested in every one of them and their pregnancies just as I would be my own family and friends.
Regarding the “unfairness” of what quite a few ppl have mentioned above:
There were quite a few posts that started to look very “mob mentality” — whether it was realized or not. (These are long past at this point - back when board was more robust.)
***Yes, board organization should be valued, but not over support, patience, and understanding.***
These boards are for community - we’re not doing excell spreadsheets on solving world hunger. A little mess is okay - especially with all the other worries many of us have.
I would have much preferred a slightly messy but active board to the pitchforks that came out when someone would do a one-off post, etc.
Regardless, I don’t personally know any of you or have some vendetta against any one poster. It’s nice to have y’all back, even if it’s juat to defend yourselves.
We’re all pregnant, I can speak for myself and say I’m f*cking terrified and sensitive, and I’m not about to waste any more time debating etiquette or labels on this board.
I’d love to support y’all and get to know whomever sticks around. Healthy pregnancies to everybody else, truly truly
FWIW, My husband is in the military (as are a few other ladies in this group) and OPSEC (Operation Security) and PERSEC (Personal Security) are very important and I take them seriously. I just don't feel comfortable sharing many personal details about myself, my children, or my husband without some level of security. You don't know who is lurking.
I would agree with both sides presented here and say that the organization of the board has been very helpful and made it much more enjoyable. On the flip side it can also intimidate people when they come in and try to participate (albeit without reading all the rules and instructions first) and get directed to act/post/participate differently. I can see how even simple instructive posts can be interpreted as "snarky" when they are not at all intended to be. But let's all remember it's over TEXT. There is no tone of voice, no subtle body language to clue the reader/recipient in to the speaker's intention. People read things how they want--if they are looking to be offended they will be. If they are looking for advice and support but guidance with board etiquette they will find that.
I support the women who left if they felt that another forum would be better suited to meet their needs. Who am I to judge and say they can't go? I'm happy they found a place that suits them.
For those of us that remain I think we have to define for ourselves what kind of board we want and we have to make it what we want. There are enough people to keep things moving and keep the discussions flowing. It's up to the people who remain to shape the "community" now.
That being said, if you've chosen to step away from this board please "divest" yourself from ownership and directorship of the shape this board takes in the future. I welcome EVERYONE to continue to look/lurk, post and support, (even if you are part of other groups!) but if you've chosen to take the majority of your support somewhere else then I feel you must step away from correcting or directing others about how to post and leave that to those who use this as their primary group.
You do all realize the PG is made up of people who did show support here on a consistent basis. The only people who weren’t invited, were the lurkers...
You can’t complain that the board is dead because people left and in the same breath say it was all the “mean girls” and you are glad they left. So do you miss us, or not miss us? Because I’m confused.
ETA: I don’t think anyone from the PG has even come here to “take ownership” of the board since they left. If anything, people from the PG have only come out of lurking to A. Address this post or B. Show support to someone who recently posted a TW.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I never said those who left should "only lurk" in fact what I said was "I welcome EVERYONE to continue to look/lurk, post and support, (even if you are part of other groups!) but if you've chosen to take the majority of your support somewhere else then I feel you must step away from correcting or directing others about how to post and leave that to those who use this as their primary group."
To me this means that if someone were to put a one-off post on the board it doesn't make sense for those who have left to get upset about this and direct people to the introduction and rules posts if those who are here don't have a problem with a few one-off posts every now and then. To clarify, I don't know that this has happened as of yet.
Your post now is actually a perfect example of getting snarky when there is no need to be. I was nothing but supportive of those who left in my original post.
Your desire to initiate drama is not appreciated.
What did you all expect? Poke the bear and then be all offended when they come back to respond? Oh please.
And if you forgot or someone tries to DD. Lemme refresh your memory.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I don't disagree that the use of "Mean Girls" was a form of name-calling that while might have been how the OP felt wasn't perhaps the best way to go about expressing this and as you say "poked the bear".
I also think your comment to me directly was an attempt at additional drama. Perhaps the use of the term "start" was inaccurate in placing initiation of drama at your feet. For that I will retract.
I'm also not "offended" that you came back to respond. It appears to me that you are offended that people felt your actions were mean. That's on you.
For all intents and purposes this board is your guys’ and has been. If you want to fault us for responding when we got called out, don’t call us out. I know I will support and offer advice when I can. There are still a few ladies here I like and lurk on when they post as well as adding my experience to a post that I can relate to.
apologies if my comment wasn't necessary.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Regardless, for those who want to continue a support group here, we need to step up and revive the group. If others want to come back, that would be great, if not, then best of luck to them.
@BumpAdmin if this thread is so heinous that you're going to be banning people because of it, then why is it still open? A little consistency in how you're going to enforce the rules is the least you can offer the folks that use these boards. One of the comments that was apparently so mean that it got the user banned apparently wasn't mean enough to merit removal due to TOU violation? If it doesn't need to be removed, then why did she get banned or even warned?