@snowhite12 I'm exactly the same I hate being pregnant and want to be done so badly I wanted to ask about scheduling a voluntary c section. That's a thing right like choosing to do c section? Has anyine ever done it? Am I a horrible person for wanting it? My SO lives an hour away and I'm afraid to go into labor and him be so far away. Can anyone discuss the pros and cons of c section vs natural?
Depending on your doctor/hospital system, I don't know for a fact that they would let you have an elective CS without some sort of medical indication. On top of the risks (though vaginal delivery is also risky) you would need to consider if you insurance would even cover an elective CS without a medical indication. It's your body and if you prefer a CS that is 100% your right, but personally I don't know if I would schedule it just because you're tired of being pregnant and want SO there. FTMs usually have longer labors and he should make it out there to be with you, and especially given that you seem unsure about your due date, I don't know if scheduling something now would be the best choice.
@kangstadt - we did a sleep clock. When it is green she can come out, otherwise she has to stay in her room. It is sooo easy to fall back into a bad pattern though. 1 night I let her come in at 5am and then the next 3 nights she cried that she wanted to go to "mommys bed" in the middle of the night
@professormama its a pretty normal to not feel like yourself. To be fair you are not yourself since you have a living creature growing inside of you!
@stefanielyn1991 most hospital do not do voluntary c sections anymore. There generally has to be some sort of medical reason for it. 1 hr drive isn't totally horrible. Once you start going into labor it is generally at least a couple of hours before give birth. A lot of moms labor at home a bit before heading off to the hospital.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@stefanielyn1991 can I ask why you want to have a c-section if you've never given birth before? It's a major surgery and was definitely not my first choice. I'm having a RCS this time ONLY because I am not a candidate to even try for a VBAC.
Just want to clear up a little bit of misinformation I've seen in response to elective c section on maternal request:
Your abdominal muscles are not cut during a C-section. The fascia and adipose tissue is cut and the muscles are separated with a spreader instrument or the doctor's hands to reach the uterus.
You can request a C-section upon maternal request.
Insurance will 100% cover an elective C-section as there is no difference in the coding between elective and maternal request - they're both just considered elective.
Any provider can decline services for any reason but if you have a legitimate reason for wanting an elective c-section (trauma, severe anxiety, etc.) and articulate this to your doctor they will likely grant your request. They can't force you to give birth vaginally.
While vaginal is the natural way, there is no prize for pushing a baby out of your vagina. If that's what you really want to do then it's your choice, but be aware there is a longer recovery period and a higher risk of infection. Personally I wouldn't consider your partner not being there as a reason to have one but again it's your choice.
@stefanielyn1991 with DD if I had gone into labor during rush hour I would have been an hour away from the hospital I was set to deliver at. That’s not that far at all and if you keep him aware of when you think you are in labor he shouldn’t have any issue being there in time. Labor is not usually a quick process, especially not the first. Even relatively short labors are usually still a couple hours. This kid is currently breech, which is an automatic c-section and honestly I will try to do everything I can to get her to flip and avoid that. It may seem fairly routine but it’s still major surgery and carries it’s own set of risks and extra special circumstances. And believe me when I say I am super super over being pregnant and giving myself shots four times a day, I still wouldn’t choose a c-section even if it means an early guaranteed end date.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Oh that's interesting about insurance @sheknows6! I had heard that there were insurance things to consider. Definitely agree that there is no prize for vaginal birth though. Some CS shaming I see is honestly some of the worst mom shaming I've seen.
You guys, I know I've been a downer this week, but damn, DH just showed me his work schedule for April. He's going to be working mandatory overtime to cover some absences, and basically will not have a life during the entire month. Probably looking at 60-80 hour work weeks, and mandated days working when he should be off. His family leave can't be questioned, so when I go into labor he'll be able to get to me (but may be working 3 hours away), but it's only a week of leave (last time we ended up in the hospital for four days, so that's most of a week right there). I'm stressing out .
@kangstadt hugs lady. That really is so hard. DH was working similar hours and only got one week when DS came and it was terrible. You do have some local family, right? Would you be ok with some of them helping out when babe first gets here?
@MRDCle, I'm definitely going to be leaning on some family and friends in those first few weeks. My parents live nearby, but are older and don't feel comfortable caring for a newborn (which I don't blame them, and hopefully they could help by distracting/entertaining DS1). I just hate asking for favors or help, especially since my two close friends both have two kiddos of their own.
@kangstadt that sucks hard, I don't blame you at all for being bummed about it. Can your husband add any vacation on to his guaranteed family leave? Even if he has to schedule it now, he could schedule it for a time you guys are almost 100% certain that the baby will already be here - like if you're due (i'm just making up a date because I can't remember) on April 10, maybe he could schedule vacation time for April 20-25 or something?
How exhausted is normal exhausted? I brought this up to my OB yesterday, but I'm soooooo tired. Like, yesterday I took an hour long nap in the late afternoon, went to bed at 9:45, woke up this morning at 7am. That should have been PLENTY of sleep, even if it's not the highest quality sleep. But I'm still feeling barely functional right now.
Hey y'all Just wanted to update on the BIL + dog situation for those that are following.
DH agreed to talk with his brother about moving out, or at the very least finding a new home for his dog, before the baby comes. He's not looking forward to the talk but he has agreed to it and I am really hoping it happens sooner rather than weeks from now (or ya know never). Over the weekend, I was second-guessing my feelings over the situation and wondering if I was overreacting. This morning, however, I came hom from shopping, BIL was leaving for work, and he says to me "Grievous hasn't gone out yet because I have to leave early for work," which reassured me that we are making the right decision in telling him he needs to go before baby comes because he was essentially saying, "Hey, since you're home now, I don't want to be responsible for my own dog. You can take care of him instead." If I don't? Grievous potties in our home on unfinished hardwood floors, still leaving me responsible for the clean-up. If I do? BIL is really taking advantage of living with us. Reaaally hoping my husband gathers the courage to talk to his brother soon. I would love to say what needs to be said! But coming from my husband would be best.
Also, I was at the store for hot chocolate. They only had 1 box left and it was already opened. I counted the packets and it was one short. I took it to Customer Service and asked if they would sell it to me for a lesser price. I was told they don't sell items that have already been opened so I asked if there were any more in the back. When she came back she said I can buy it for half the price. YES!! Great deal IMO.
@kangstadt solidarity! DH will only get the weekend with me and LO before he has to go back to work I'm sorry you're stressing about it but happy to hear you have family and friends to help support you. I'm having my mom come stay with me the first week home since DH has to work.
@professormama, unfortunately his bosses have to approve any vacation requests, and since they're so short this Spring, I doubt he'll get any time off. Plus he's a workaholic who loves his job, so he would feel guilty if he left them hanging.
Exhaustion is hitting hard here too; are you waking up at night a lot? Even enough hours of sleep, if they're interrupted, don't really give restful slumber. I'm waking up three times and definitely feeling awful even with 8+ hours.
@mighty_montgomery, I would totally be sick of that behavior. If you know, as a responsible adult, that you have to leave for work early and you own an animal, you freaking wake up early enough to take care of the animal first. Ugh. I'm frustrated for you!
@mighty_montgomery I really hope your husband talks to his brother!!! I totally agree that BIL is saying "you can do this because now you're here" when it's his dog! That's pretty rude! I can just imagine he'll pull a "but you're at home all day with the baby so you can take care of the dog" sort of deal when you are off after birth. And hopefully it will be better now to just get it out of the way instead of after baby comes when you're all stressed and tired and hormonal. Also, as long as all those packages are still sealed hooray for a deal! What kind of jerk opens a box to take one packet?
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@kangstadt you're probably right about the waking up at night part. I also notice that I do a lot of light dozing, which probably doesn't count as good sleep. On your husbands job... it couldn't hurt for him to at least ask for a little time. Even a few extra days would be nice... I mean, he has a way better reason to take time off in April than most people! But I get it, it's hard when you love your job and feel some actual commitment to the people who you work with.
On a positive note... yesterday I finished all the Thin Mints I let myself buy. And this morning in the mail I found a care package of girl scout cookies from my in-laws!!! woooooo!!!! It's giving me a little life and a little pick me up. Maybe I'll actually get something done today after all, fueled by sugar.
@professormama someone needs to use favorite Girl Scout cookie as the next GTKY. The answer should be Samoas.
@mighty_montgomery if you had time to get back from the store, he had time to let the dog out. It was not an early work day.
@kangstadt I definitely recommend scheduling some help at home, but also I hope this overtime is paid at a higher rate and that it helps relieve your anxiety about bills with your unpaid leave. Personally, I’d let myself wallow for a day about it being so unfair before trying to find a brighter side.
Interesting reading the comments on c-sections. I really need to familiarize myself with them, just to be on the safe side.
@kangstadt that really, really sucks. I don’t blame you for stressing, it seems like a lot of uncertainty during a very important month! I know asking for help isn’t fun, but don’t be afraid to ask anyway.
@mighty_montgomery so glad your H is going to talk to your BIL! And yay for the hot chocolate!
Just left my 30 week appointment. What a doozy. I just got prescribed 60+ mg a day of iron (because apparently 25 mg isn’t enough to keep me from being anemic), they ordered an EKG because my heart rate has been really high lately, and baby is measuring ahead. So I thought I’d be getting a break from the appointments but... nope.
professormama my quality of sleep has gone way down hill and caffeine has been my savior! I find I toss and turn a lot at night so I just am ALWAYS tired.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@lyse01, he gets time and a half for OT, which will help but not completely offset my lack of income. I'm trying to take on some cake orders to help make some money too, but right now I'm just hoping our tax refund will get us through the next few months of bills .
Also, you guys are both wrong... Savannah Smiles are clearly the best.
@kangstadt - YESSSS Savannah Smiles are the best. I moved from tampa to Orlando 2 years ago and I am ssoo upset that Orlando uses the 'other' girl scout cookies and they make a different lemon cookie (not nearly as good) I had to have my step-mom pre-order me 3 boxes and she will bring them to me (hopefully soon)
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@mighty_montgomery tell DH about what happened today and ask him to talk to him by the end of the weekend.
+1 to not getting restful sleep and always being tired. I even just tried to nap (polar vortex here so school was closed) and I couldn't even take a good, solid nap.
@mighty_montgomery I agree with everyone. BIL needs to go. Do NOT feel bad about it! I can't imagine telling someone I didn't have time to let my dog out. Come one, man!
@thatbaintforbetty I'll be sure to eat your share of thin mints when I get my order in.
@lilpotatomama Sorry to hear that! On the bright side, I'd actually like the more appointments. I'm so paranoid that I want to be monitored more often.
I'm so jealous of all these cookies! In Canada they are called Girl Guides and we have 2 kinds of cookies. In the fall it's the thin mints ones and in the spring it's those sandwich ones chocolate and vanilla. I'll eat em, but I'm dying to try the others. Can everyone send me a box of every kind? Haha!!
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@kangstadt - YESSSS Savannah Smiles are the best. I moved from tampa to Orlando 2 years ago and I am ssoo upset that Orlando uses the 'other' girl scout cookies and they make a different lemon cookie (not nearly as good) I had to have my step-mom pre-order me 3 boxes and she will bring them to me (hopefully soon)
Truth! Those are my favorites and they only sell them on the other side of the state. I also love thin mints and Carmel delights(Samoa’s) and especial from the freezer!
@kangstadt I feel you. When DD was born(June) DH was back to work 3 days later . It’s was blueberry season (70-90hour weeks) and since he’s a workaholic too he feels like he can’t disappoint his Grandpa and Dad. I was so mad because I was having severe PPA and all he other cousins and siblings take at least 2 weeks off when their wives had babies.
@mighty_montgomery fingers crossed your DH talks to BIL sooner rather than later. My parents dog is currently living with us but is basically just a doormat 90% of the time so he doesn’t bother anyone
Well I just bummed myself out about my blood pressure (it was 126 / 78 at my most recent 28 week apt). I don't know what I thought I was going to find, but I went back to my medical records with my first pregnancy (induced at 37 weeks for gestational hypertension), and in week 28 with that one my blood pressure was reading 120 / 76 (and I was a little heavier then too). So basically, I'm already doing worse now than I was with that pregnancy. Blahhhhh.
Ughh. A coworker of mine is notorious for coming to work sick. She went home early on Monday because she was feeling unwell and was supposed to have seen a doctor that day. She came back to work yesterday saying that she just had laryngitis and wasn't contagious. Well, apparently she didn't actually go to the doctor and just assumed what she had was laryngitis. She ended up feeling worse today and went to the doctor today and was informed she's got type A influenza. Great. She was all up in my office yesterday too. And now I'm coughing and sneezing and whatnot and I really hope I haven't caught it. Ain't nobody got time for that mess.
I'm shopping for used vans and it's such a pain in the butt!! Between H, his retired mechanic step father and our own mechanic they keep talking me out of every one I think I like. I finally found one H and I both like and it has low mileage and fully loaded but a bit outside our price range, of course. So now I have to figure out if it's worth it to borrow money from the folks and potentially put them in a tight spot and work on paying them back monthly or if I should just settle for a vehicle that's not as nice and would need to be replaced sooner.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@chrissdee if you spike a fever call your doctor ASAP so you can get tested and put on Tamiflu. The kids and I had Influenza A a couple weeks ago. It wasn’t fun but we made in thru. Good thoughts you don’t get it
@mermaidca we got a van this past summer so I feel your pain about shopping. They’re either too $$ or too many miles or too old. We lucked out that the rental car companies released hundreds of 2017 Chrysler Pacificas last year. It wasn’t my #1 choice brand but it’s has been great for us so far
@blueberrymomma you are exactly right. People are asking ridiculous amounts of money, or they are so old and beat up because they're vans and mostly family cars. We need to make up our minds though. I'm getting a bit antsy cutting it close. Especially going on leave soon I'd rather pay now while I still have a decent income. I feel bad to put my parents in this situation so ask them for money though. Ack. I wish money wasn't such an issue. Adulting is tough.
@chrissdee fingers crossed you don't get it!!! Some people have no common sense.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
Optional, scheduled or emergency I suggest you learn all about them. There are risks with c-sections, a its a major surgery. I’d learn about all those risks and consider your options carefully before choosing a non-medically-necessary csection. If you think it’s the best choice for you than own it, because you know you.
I almost ended up with a csection because I was running out of every after 4.5 days of labor and 3 hrs of pushing and an asthma attack and I’m really glad I didn’t end up needing one. But that close call made me want to learn more about csection this time around and be ready to feel In control and informed about procedure.
On another side, I have a friend who had a traumatic birth with her first, 4th degree tear and extra surgery to repair months later and her second was a c-section and she thought that was amazing and so much faster to heal. That helped me be less fearful of it if I needed one.
Just left the MFM. I have a complete placenta previa. I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow for my regular appointment and GD test so I plan on asking all of the questions then. The MFM said it will be an automatic c-section (which we were already planning) between 36-37 weeks.
I'm panicking. Anyone have experience with a complete previa that didn't resolve?
Re: Randoms 1/28
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Just want to clear up a little bit of misinformation I've seen in response to elective c section on maternal request:
While vaginal is the natural way, there is no prize for pushing a baby out of your vagina. If that's what you really want to do then it's your choice, but be aware there is a longer recovery period and a higher risk of infection. Personally I wouldn't consider your partner not being there as a reason to have one but again it's your choice.
DD born: 3/31/19
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
How exhausted is normal exhausted? I brought this up to my OB yesterday, but I'm soooooo tired. Like, yesterday I took an hour long nap in the late afternoon, went to bed at 9:45, woke up this morning at 7am. That should have been PLENTY of sleep, even if it's not the highest quality sleep. But I'm still feeling barely functional right now.
DH agreed to talk with his brother about moving out, or at the very least finding a new home for his dog, before the baby comes. He's not looking forward to the talk but he has agreed to it and I am really hoping it happens sooner rather than weeks from now (or ya know never).
Over the weekend, I was second-guessing my feelings over the situation and wondering if I was overreacting. This morning, however, I came hom from shopping, BIL was leaving for work, and he says to me "Grievous hasn't gone out yet because I have to leave early for work," which reassured me that we are making the right decision in telling him he needs to go before baby comes because he was essentially saying, "Hey, since you're home now, I don't want to be responsible for my own dog. You can take care of him instead."
If I don't? Grievous potties in our home on unfinished hardwood floors, still leaving me responsible for the clean-up. If I do? BIL is really taking advantage of living with us. Reaaally hoping my husband gathers the courage to talk to his brother soon. I would love to say what needs to be said! But coming from my husband would be best.
Also, I was at the store for hot chocolate. They only had 1 box left and it was already opened. I counted the packets and it was one short. I took it to Customer Service and asked if they would sell it to me for a lesser price. I was told they don't sell items that have already been opened so I asked if there were any more in the back. When she came back she said I can buy it for half the price. YES!!
Great deal IMO.
ETA: better grammar
DD born: 3/31/19
Exhaustion is hitting hard here too; are you waking up at night a lot? Even enough hours of sleep, if they're interrupted, don't really give restful slumber. I'm waking up three times and definitely feeling awful even with 8+ hours.
@mighty_montgomery, I would totally be sick of that behavior. If you know, as a responsible adult, that you have to leave for work early and you own an animal, you freaking wake up early enough to take care of the animal first. Ugh. I'm frustrated for you!
Also, as long as all those packages are still sealed hooray for a deal! What kind of jerk opens a box to take one packet?
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@mermaidca I guess the kind that knows I need my fix! 😆😂🤣
On a positive note... yesterday I finished all the Thin Mints I let myself buy. And this morning in the mail I found a care package of girl scout cookies from my in-laws!!! woooooo!!!! It's giving me a little life and a little pick me up. Maybe I'll actually get something done today after all, fueled by sugar.
@mighty_montgomery if you had time to get back from the store, he had time to let the dog out. It was not an early work day.
@kangstadt I definitely recommend scheduling some help at home, but also I hope this overtime is paid at a higher rate and that it helps relieve your anxiety about bills with your unpaid leave. Personally, I’d let myself wallow for a day about it being so unfair before trying to find a brighter side.
*edited for grammar
@kangstadt that really, really sucks. I don’t blame you for stressing, it seems like a lot of uncertainty during a very important month! I know asking for help isn’t fun, but don’t be afraid to ask anyway.
@mighty_montgomery so glad your H is going to talk to your BIL! And yay for the hot chocolate!
Just left my 30 week appointment. What a doozy. I just got prescribed 60+ mg a day of iron (because apparently 25 mg isn’t enough to keep me from being anemic), they ordered an EKG because my heart rate has been really high lately, and baby is measuring ahead. So I thought I’d be getting a break from the appointments but... nope.
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Also, you guys are both wrong... Savannah Smiles are clearly the best.
Also I am definitely adding Girl Scout cookies (and probably Girl Scout cookie ice cream) to my freezer prep list, lol.
I need a bigger freezer....
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@thatbaintforbetty I'll be sure to eat your share of thin mints when I get my order in.
@lilpotatomama Sorry to hear that! On the bright side, I'd actually like the more appointments. I'm so paranoid that I want to be monitored more often.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@kangstadt I feel you. When DD was born(June) DH was back to work 3 days later . It’s was blueberry season (70-90hour weeks) and since he’s a workaholic too he feels like he can’t disappoint his Grandpa and Dad. I was so mad because I was having severe PPA and all he other cousins and siblings take at least 2 weeks off when their wives had babies.
@mighty_montgomery fingers crossed your DH talks to BIL sooner rather than later. My parents dog is currently living with us but is basically just a doormat 90% of the time so he doesn’t bother anyone
Edit: October 19 board is up, whaaaa I should probably buy a crib or something....
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@mermaidca we got a van this past summer so I feel your pain about shopping. They’re either too $$ or too many miles or too old. We lucked out that the rental car companies released hundreds of 2017 Chrysler Pacificas last year. It wasn’t my #1 choice brand but it’s has been great for us so far
@chrissdee fingers crossed you don't get it!!! Some people have no common sense.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
hrs!
On C-sections.
Optional, scheduled or emergency I suggest you learn all about them. There are risks with c-sections, a
its a major surgery. I’d learn about all those risks and consider your options carefully before choosing a non-medically-necessary csection. If you think it’s the best choice for you than own it, because you know you.
I almost ended up with a csection because I was running out of every after 4.5 days of labor and 3 hrs of pushing and an asthma attack and I’m really glad I didn’t end up needing one. But that close call made me want to learn more about csection this time around and be ready to feel In control and informed about procedure.
On another side, I have a friend who had a traumatic birth with her first, 4th degree tear and extra surgery to repair months later and her second was a c-section and she thought that was amazing and so much faster to heal. That helped me be less fearful of it if I needed one.
I'm panicking. Anyone have experience with a complete previa that didn't resolve?