Finally posting this on the right day! Welcome all new members. No TW needed here for loss discussions, but please use a TW to discuss living children.
- How far along are you?
- Current mood?
- If you haven't already, or want to share again, please share your loss history, if comfortable.
- Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs?
- GTKY: What was your first job? What was your favorite job?
Re: PgAL (Pregnant After a Loss) Check-in: Week of 1/9/19
@maserrano714 I got my results next day; hope yours came back awesome & that you got them today.
@omg1108 (If I haven't already indicated that I yr screen name, let me say so here.) My Mom was a special ed. teacher when I was growing up--so much respect to you. I know it's a rewarding job, but it's also an important one, and a job I really respect.
How far along are you? 4w6d
Current mood? Happy, optimistic, motivated
If you haven't already, or want to share again, please share your loss history, if comfortable. I had a CP in Oct. 2018.
Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? I had my labs taken yesterday & they called this morning w/ the results. The nurse who I first called actually called last night to make sure I came in yesterday--she'd been the one I spoke to when I called to make the first appointment, & she was also the one who called this morning to get my my results. She's so... happy and enthusiastic and that's part of why I feel like I'm in such a good mood. She said everything looks super good & gave me my numbers & now I'm glad I can try to go about my day. Thanks, Nurse Taylor, for being so super good at your job!
GTKY: What was your first job? What was your favorite job? I worked at a comic book store at the mall in NJ! Which I hope wins an award for "most 90s job." My fave job... I am a Professor of Lit/Creative Writing/Research Writing right now & I really love this job, and I'm on the market for a tenure-track job in that field so it can be my forever job. I don't know what I like teaching most... I would say CW/Lit rank above Research Writing, but I have my Research Writing class down to a science, so I actually enjoy that as well these days.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
@kagesstarshroom I am so happy to hear about your great results and that you have an awesome nurse in your corner! Yep, my husband is coming today, thank goodness. We have rarely had a good US, so need him there either way. It’s quite traumatizing for both of us.
@zuuls_mom I hear you on how hard the wait is for the first scan. I’m going in today and it seems like it’s been forever.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
@eme520 So glad the u/s went well! Thanks for sharing the photo w/ us in the other thread.
@omg1108 ooo that's kind of awesome that those are yr initials!
@klhelder I would try and find a new OB. I feel like they should be sensitive to your losses and more concerned about helping you maintain your pregnancy. They should be checking hcg levels and progesterone.
@omg1108 those are awesome first numbers!
@kagesstarshroom yay! So glad your labs all came back good. Also, working at a comic book shop sounds like a fun 1st job.
@zuuls_mom the wait for the scan is the worst. Hopefully the next 7 days will go by quickly.
Pregnancy #2-Due 8/24/17 MMC-01/09/17
DD-Due 10/24/17
@maserrano714 Yay for great numbers!!! Thanks for coming back to update.
I posted in the ultrasound thread, but overall pretty good news for me today.’Measuring 1 day behind, but I know that’s within the margin of error, but you all know how it goes in your head.
Pregnancy #2-Due 8/24/17 MMC-01/09/17
DD-Due 10/24/17
i am team optimism over here, so if anyone needs any thrown their way let me know. ^_~*
How far along are you? 4wks, 2 days
Mood: Yesterday I had some thoughts of miscarriage and sorta spiraled, until a friend of mine reminded me that it’s normal to have those thoughts after having a past experience, but it doesn’t mean the experience is happening again. I’m making a point to say “I love you” to my baby every day. It seems to be helping my mindset, as it’s just simple and true in this moment. I’m so glad to have so much from you all to read everyday, so thank you to everyone for keeping these threads going with sich strong support!
loss history: 2 missed miscarriages around 7 weeks and a chemical pregnancy in between those
upcoming appointments: I’m struggling so I asked the doctor if I could do betas and 1 more progesterone check next week since the ultrasound isn’t for another 2 weeks.
@maserrano714 that's a great beta! Congrats!
@eme520 So happy for a great U/S! Don't worry about 1 day- there's a lot of measurement error this early on and 1 day either way really shouldn't alarm. Enjoy this moment!
@flowerintherain your beta is super strong for end of 5 weeks! That's great news
@kagesstarshroom I am so happy for you on great labs and even happier you have a supportive practice! I love my practice and it makes all the difference, especially during this time. That said, they think I am nuts
@zuuls_mom let's wait together! I have an u/s next week, also but earlier in the week.
How far along are you? 5 weeks and 2 days (I think)
Mood: I am basically a crazy person. Just so that I can confess to someone, I am still POAS'ing...! <insert intense feelings of shame here>. Otherwise, I am trying to keep busy. I have to make some decisions about work. I was going to take another job offer but it just doesn't feel right. And also, it would be hard to get a lot done at a new job before I have to be out for mat leave (I hope and everything crossed!). I am going to trust my gut.
loss history: CP 6 weeks
upcoming appointments: I have an appointment on Monday for repeat bloods and u/s. I've had 3 betas so far. first one was and the last one was too high...? I love all of the information we get in early pregnancy but I also HATE having all of this data. Someone needs to cut off my access to google. Now I am on pins and needles and I am praying for good news on Monday.
Thank you all for the support. I can't tell you how much it's made my week to read everyone's good news!
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
@rms924 I doubt you are the only still POASing! I still did last week because it made me so happy to see such a dark positive. Also, re: Google, I’ve done the same thing, it’s ok unless it’s causing too much distress. Just vent to us and give yourself a challenge, one day at a time, not to google. Give yourself a reward every day you don’t. Don’t beat yourself up if you do!
@eme520 I peed on four total sticks, spread out to be every other/every 2 days before my first labs appoint. & was nervous each time hoping for a darker line (which happened.) I tried to explain to my mom, when I told her, how this was good, but she told me--she never POAS! She "just knew." Oh, the wild 1980s! Also, I never thought of a loss as something that could cause PTSD, that's so interesting. If you were my research writing student, I would encourage you to write a paper on this/see if anyone else out there had nabbed this argument yet.
@rms924 Thanks for sending yr well wishes! also, Trust yr gut! You got this! ( ALSO: the above reply re: POAS was for you, too,) & OMG me & Google had such *fun* yesterday after my #s came back! The only thing I can say to my adventure down Googely lane was that most of the sites I went to that talked about early beta #s said the same EXACT thing, which eventually made me stop Googling. Do you know if you have the possibility of/gene for hyperovulation?
Thanks for the support!
I am loving all the good news from everyone. Lots of positive number increases & ultrasounds.
@kagesstarshroom - yes, I asked and they said no problem! Since I’m on the progesterone medication, I think they can justify checking it via bloodwork:)
@rms924 I’m still taking pregnancy tests too. It’s like the only thing I feel I have control over right now, even tho at this point they don’t really show anything new.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
@sunshine2417 I love your fave job. I am doing my best to make time fly for us all, but I am not really a physicist soooo.... I hope the weeks go by fast for you until your U/S! (& for the rest of us)
I am guessing my breakdown/fall from optimism today was bc when i had my loss, it was a textbook cp & the day that it happened, like, cycle day-wise is coming up tomorrow--and even though my labs came back good, I was/am still freaking out. DH was awesome when I was just... crying on the couch & not really able to say much, so I was super grateful. I watched some boring TV and felt a little better-- but then we went grocery shopping & his mood did a 180. There's something wrong with our fridge that he can't fix (he's like the Ultimate Handyman™ so it REALLY pisses him off when he can't fix something--but that's not why he was in a bad mood. [He has BPD, so his moodiness is for real/unpredictable/not always easy for either of us. Luckily for me, he is going to start therapy soon {so he says}] But he seems to be taking it out on the fridge, not me, so. Anyway. I'm glad I feel slightly better, but I'm just... blargh. I just needed to type all these words bc I know so many of you would understand. Thanks.
@rms924 Definitely still POAS and will be for a while. I think that is pretty common, although definitely not good for our anxiety levels!
@blitzybee I love the idea of saying I love you everyday. I am going to try that. I hate feeling so guarded and less connected.
@zuuls_mom That sounds like the best first job ever!!! @kagesstarshroom I am feeling the same way! I was optimistic during the day yesterday (which is why I even intro'd) and then last night I was hit with extreme anxiety. UGH.
~
How far along are you? 3+5... soooo early!
Current mood? Not great. I'm having horrible anxiety. I almost wish I would have waited to test until after AF was due to test. I am having such horrible anxiety that she is going to show up on Tuesday and crush me. This is going to be a very long pregnancy. I can already feel myself losing the joy that you should feel while pregnant. It freaking sucks.
Any upcoming appointments, milestones, loss anniversaries, EDDs? I'll get my first Beta on Monday. EDD is 9/23.
GTKY: What was your first job? What was your favorite job? I worked at Arctic Circle (a burger chain) in HS. Once time someone actually threw a melted shake in my face. She said I tried to kill her because SHE ordered a shake with chocolate in it. My favorite job was probably a few years ago when I worked in County government. I got paid really well, and compared to my job now, it was pretty easy and stress free.
@rms924 I'm still taking a pregnancy test every morning and every afternoon. I probably will do so until I get to my 6 week ultrasound at least, if not 8 weeks. I'm trying to remember logically that the less I stress, the better it is for the baby! But it is so hard to do!
@kgg2241 Welcome! I found mindfulness really helpful with the PgAL anxiety and with work. I just try to get them though the day or even the hour if it’s really bad. Leaning into it and feeling it through my whole body then telling it to go away and I’ll come back later really helped.
To everyone still taking tests: I am not getting any more info and it’s kind of frustrating but also fascinating. I took a frer yesterday (snuck it in my target purchases only to be caught by my husband) and it was all types of wacky. The control line is lighter but the test line varies. Sometimes it’s lighter than my earlier ones which drives me batty. Anyway, I guess there’s a phenomenon called the hook effect that explains it (according to my friend google) but I haven’t tested the theory.
@zuuls_mom I am happy to have you here though I understand how you feel. I feel the same way. lots of good energy to everyone. I think I have everything crossed for all us at this point.
@kagesstarshroom must be something in the air because I totally felt that way today. Went through and spent unproductive time squinting at tests and comparing beta levels on google, all the while judging myself . It’s nice to have the group to connect to during first tri especially ❤️
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img