PSA: It does NOT happen to "everyone"

CreamPuff06 · January 2009

ABMcKinney:
LoriFalce:

To say that "accidents" are different from preventable things is ridiculous.

Accidents are unintentional, but unless you're talking about a lightning strike, earthquake or other act of nature, there is always something you could have done to avoid it. It's just something you forgot to do, or thought you could get away without doing at the time.

And at what point does constant vigilance let up? Why is it okay for a toddler to fall? Why isn't Ubermom there to pick her up before she hits the ground?

I would think a social worker/mo3 would realize the nature of accidents and reality more.

It's like you're a special kind of idiot today. That is NOT what she's saying!!!! The bottom line is that putting your child in a situation that could potentially seriously hurt or kill the child is irresponsible and it's your job as a parent to prevent it. SO DON'T PUT YOUR KID ON THE COUCH/BED/CHANGING TABLE AND TURN YOUR BACK.

I don't know if the caps will help or not, but I agree completely. It's mind-boggling that people think falling off a changing table is the same as falling while learning to walk. The first one is preventable simply by paying attention; the second may be preventable should you want to follow your child with a pillow, but how would they learn? And what exactly will a kid learn from falling off the changing table? Mom's an inattentive moron? That's a GREAT lesson!

ABMcKinney · January 2009

Joes_love:
and then there are those of us who were sleeping peacefully and their HUSBAND is the idiot who blinked while changing the baby.

Lol. Poor Joe.

Temp700366562504480 · January 2009

weemodin:

I really don't think you're "doing all you can" unless your kid is wearing one of these:

https://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=148756&parentCategoryId=85183&categoryId=85216&subCategoryId=86202

ha!

LOL!

breezey2323 · January 2009

mollyosmom:
Breezy and Lorifalce and Vanilla are all missing my point. I am far from perfect. I make parenting mistakes every day. I do not however make "safety" mistakes. My point is that there are many injuries that are totally preventable. In that split second when you are walking away do you not think, "Hm he could fall off. I should not do this"?? Of COURSE you do. But many walk away anyway. I DO feel better if people read this and feel guilty for being negligent and think twice the next time. It will keep their child out of my ER and safe a lot of heartache. Again, I never said I am perfect. NEVER said my kids don't get hurt. And it breaks my heart every time they do. Accidents happen. But there are simple steps to take to prevent many many accidents involving young children. And sadly many parents don't take it seriously at all. I do.

I picking up what your putting down. I would never walk away from my babe in the tub (this was tested the other day, I wanted to run and get his toys real quick, but fought the urge b/c I knew something could happen) or left him on a high surface. But you're missing my point. I don't think any good comes from shaming a women that already feels horrible. "Yeah you shouldn't have left him up there. It's all your fault, you're a negligent parent!" I think the fall alone is enough to make her learn her lesson. I think we all intend for our babies to be in the safest environments possible but like PP says, we are human and do stupid things without thinking. I think a simple "Oh, I'm sorry. You have to be even more careful with a mobile baby on a changing table" - would suffice.

Anything past that is just being self righteous and judgmental.

Carifly · January 2009

CreamPuff06:

She is NOT talking about ACCIDENTS - she is talking about walking away from your kid on a high surface or in a bathtub, or similar situations. You are still comparing apples to oranges and have completely missed the point. She's also not claiming to be perfect, so the lot of you rolling your eyes need to knock the chip from your shoulder and then quite possibly you'll see the common sense of this post. Talk about self-righteous.

How do you define an accident, then? Sure, walking away and leaving your child unattended while on a high surface or in a bath tub is a bad idea, but where is the line drawn? What if I look to the side to grab a wipe and she flips off in an instant, even though I'm standing right there?

I've never walked away from my daughter and she has never fallen from the changing table, but I can easily see how it could happen, and I feel sympathy for people it has happened to. I don't think it does any good to post a PSA like this, do you think this is really going to make anyone behave differently? I think it is more likely that posts about falls prevent them- learn from others mistakes. This post just comes across as holier-than-thou and self-righteous.

DaisyAdair · January 2009

My DD fell off the exam table while I was standing right in front of her. She was sitting up and lurched forward with her legs. You've seen it happen....on the floor and they hit their forehead and cry for 20 seconds.

This time, she did the lurch and started falling from the table. I managed to grab an arm and made the decision to let her go because I knew I was going to tear her arm out of the socket.

I was inconsolable.....did I make the right choice "letting" her fall? What was worse, the potential bump/bruise (that she never got) or the arm out of the socket?

I did manage to break the fall a bit and she didn't even seem to care. But, honestly, I think I would have felt BETTER if I could have said, "Idiot! Why did you walk away?!" At least I could have blamed it on that. But, what happened....I was right there and it still happened and I think that's a little scarier.

MrsTotty · January 2009

ABMcKinney:
LoriFalce:

To say that "accidents" are different from preventable things is ridiculous.

Accidents are unintentional, but unless you're talking about a lightning strike, earthquake or other act of nature, there is always something you could have done to avoid it. It's just something you forgot to do, or thought you could get away without doing at the time.

And at what point does constant vigilance let up? Why is it okay for a toddler to fall? Why isn't Ubermom there to pick her up before she hits the ground?

I would think a social worker/mo3 would realize the nature of accidents and reality more.

It's like you're a special kind of idiot today.

::gigglesnort::

LoriFalce · January 2009

McKinney's right. I'm in an unnaturally pisssed off mood today for absolutely no reason. And that should be taken into consideration for those going "WTF is she talking about today?"

However...

It might not happen to "everyone." It can happen to "anyone."

And anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded. Accidents are accidents for a reason, and people who take every precaution still find out after the fact that they could have done X and prevented the whole thing. The attitude of the original post is unnecessarily and arrogantly self-righteous.

breezey2323 · January 2009

ABMcKinney:

Joes_love:
and then there are those of us who were sleeping peacefully and their HUSBAND is the idiot who blinked while changing the baby.

Lol. Poor Joe.

Why is it poor Joe? But negligent mommy? Double standard much?

eowynmn · January 2009

LoriFalce:
McKinney's right. I'm in an unnaturally pisssed off mood today for absolutely no reason. And that should be taken into consideration for those going "WTF is she talking about today?"

However...

It might not happen to "everyone." It can happen to "anyone."

And anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded. Accidents are accidents for a reason, and people who take every precaution still find out after the fact that they could have done X and prevented the whole thing. The attitude of the original post is unnecessarily and arrogantly self-righteous.

Still wrong. Some moms choose to not leave their baby for a split second in the bath or on the changing table. Not for anything. If I have to get a sock while changing oliver, I carry him over to the sock drawer (4 ft away) or put him in the crib. NO EXCEPTIONS. I've never left his side in the bath either. NO EXCEPTIONS. When it comes to those two big preventable whammys, no it can't happen to just anyone.

Erika6504 · January 2009

mollyosmom:
Erika6504-- Two things: 1) Why does a child have to get HURT for a parent to decide to be more careful and 2) If your child was at daycare and fell off the changing table and got hurt because the provider walked away to get diaper or wipe or pair of socks... would you be so forgiving? If NOT, then that means you hold your daycare provider to a higher safety standard than yourself, which is ridiculous.

First of all, I didn't say anything that a bunch of other people haven't said so what's the point of calling ME out?

Second of all, like I said, it hasn't happened to me and it shouldn't have to happen but I will say that the OP was probably beating herself up. There is NO reason for any of us to beat her up too. She knew that what she did was wrong and I can bet she won't do it again. THAT was my point!

And, yes, I would be VERY upset if my DCP allowed my DD to fall off the of changing table. But, like I have said, DD never fallen off of something when she was in my care and I expect the same from my DCP.

Kateysomething · January 2009

Lori - the fact that you apparently will never get the difference between avoidable and accidental is pretty much what it comes down to.

ABMcKinney · January 2009

breezey2323:
ABMcKinney:

Joes_love:
and then there are those of us who were sleeping peacefully and their HUSBAND is the idiot who blinked while changing the baby.

Lol. Poor Joe.

Why is it poor Joe? But negligent mommy? Double standard much?

I actually know Joes_Love IRL, so maybe you should take your "double standard much" and shove it up your asss. I said "Poor Joe" because she is still calling her husband an idiot over it.

Kateysomething · January 2009

breezey2323:
ABMcKinney:

Joes_love:
and then there are those of us who were sleeping peacefully and their HUSBAND is the idiot who blinked while changing the baby.

Lol. Poor Joe.

Why is it poor Joe? But negligent mommy? Double standard much?

Breezy - you aren't getting this one. Poor Joe's because her husband was the one who 'dropped the ball'. She couldn't help the fact because she was asleep.

Negligent mommy if you do something you know you shouldn't and your baby gets hurt. Abso-fricking-lutely.

eowynmn · January 2009

Erika6504:

First of all, I didn't say anything that a bunch of other people haven't said so what's the point of calling ME out?
.

What kind of argument is that?! Don't jump on the bandwagon if you can't handle getting called out.

Jettaky · January 2009

breezey2323:
ABMcKinney:

Joes_love:
and then there are those of us who were sleeping peacefully and their HUSBAND is the idiot who blinked while changing the baby.

Lol. Poor Joe.

Why is it poor Joe? But negligent mommy? Double standard much?

Are you serious??

Erika6504 · January 2009

eowynmn:
Erika6504:

First of all, I didn't say anything that a bunch of other people haven't said so what's the point of calling ME out?

.

What kind of argument is that?! Don't jump on the bandwagon if you can't handle getting called out.

You're right...I usually don't get caught up in drama because I can't handle it.

SuperCuteBenz · January 2009

My DD fell off the changing table yesterday. I was standing right next to her when it happened. I didn't turn my back or walk away and it still happened. It was the worst feeling ever watching her cry.

Maybe you should call CPS on me. I must be a terrible, terrible mom.

ABMcKinney · January 2009

This just isn't something that could happen to "anyone". It's something that could only happen to someone who wasn't taking proper precautions.

breezey2323 · January 2009

ABMcKinney:
breezey2323:
ABMcKinney:

Joes_love:
and then there are those of us who were sleeping peacefully and their HUSBAND is the idiot who blinked while changing the baby.

Lol. Poor Joe.

Why is it poor Joe? But negligent mommy? Double standard much?

I actually know Joes_Love IRL, so maybe you should take your "double standard much" and shove it up your asss. I said "Poor Joe" because she is still calling her husband an idiot over it.

And what exactly do you think this post is doing to the OP? Oh, you don't know her IRL, so its ok to judge her... got it.

Confused

LoriFalce · January 2009

Okay, I give up.

I can't argue with people who don't make mistakes.

And in defense of that statement, after all of the "No, we're not saying we're perfect," I refer you to the original post.

"It happens to the best of us." Um, no, it doesn't.

Believing that is what will put somebody into therapy

lizzyjames · January 2009

mollyosmom:
Erika6504-- Two things: 1) Why does a child have to get HURT for a parent to decide to be more careful and 2) If your child was at daycare and fell off the changing table and got hurt because the provider walked away to get diaper or wipe or pair of socks... would you be so forgiving? If NOT, then that means you hold your daycare provider to a higher safety standard than yourself, which is ridiculous.

excellent point.

Kateysomething · January 2009

SuperCuteBenz:

My DD fell off the changing table yesterday. I was standing right next to her when it happened. I didn't turn my back or walk away and it still happened. It was the worst feeling ever watching her cry.

Maybe you should call CPS on me. I must be a terrible, terrible mom.

I think you must know that isn't what Mollyos is talking about. THAT is the definition of an accident. You did everything you could and it still happened. It probably didn't help knowing you'd done everything you could, though, because nothing helps when our babies are hurting.

Kateysomething · January 2009

SuperCuteBenz:

My DD fell off the changing table yesterday. I was standing right next to her when it happened. I didn't turn my back or walk away and it still happened. It was the worst feeling ever watching her cry.

Maybe you should call CPS on me. I must be a terrible, terrible mom.

I think you must know that isn't what Mollyos is talking about. THAT is the definition of an accident. You did everything you could and it still happened. It probably didn't help knowing you'd done everything you could, though, because nothing helps when our babies are hurting.

Kateysomething · January 2009

SuperCuteBenz:

My DD fell off the changing table yesterday. I was standing right next to her when it happened. I didn't turn my back or walk away and it still happened. It was the worst feeling ever watching her cry.

Maybe you should call CPS on me. I must be a terrible, terrible mom.

I think you must know that isn't what Mollyos is talking about. THAT is the definition of an accident. You did everything you could and it still happened. It probably didn't help knowing you'd done everything you could, though, because nothing helps when our babies are hurting.

breezey2323 · January 2009

Kateysomething:
breezey2323:
ABMcKinney:

Joes_love:
and then there are those of us who were sleeping peacefully and their HUSBAND is the idiot who blinked while changing the baby.

Lol. Poor Joe.

Why is it poor Joe? But negligent mommy? Double standard much?

Breezy - you aren't getting this one. Poor Joe's because her husband was the one who 'dropped the ball'. She couldn't help the fact because she was asleep.

Negligent mommy if you do something you know you shouldn't and your baby gets hurt. Abso-fricking-lutely.

Nope, Katey. ABM was refering to JOE. Her husband. Read her post above yours.

CreamPuff06 · January 2009

Carifly:

How do you define an accident, then? Sure, walking away and leaving your child unattended while on a high surface or in a bath tub is a bad idea, but where is the line drawn? What if I look to the side to grab a wipe and she flips off in an instant, even though I'm standing right there?

I've never walked away from my daughter and she has never fallen from the changing table, but I can easily see how it could happen, and I feel sympathy for people it has happened to. I don't think it does any good to post a PSA like this, do you think this is really going to make anyone behave differently? I think it is more likely that posts about falls prevent them- learn from others mistakes. This post just comes across as holier-than-thou and self-righteous.

If you cannot understand the difference between a preventable fall and an accident then no amount of my explaining will help you, and it seems that you are being obtuse just for the hell of it. Seriously, there have been enough examples given that it should be obvious, but there you go.

I don't know about others, but if I have to turn my head to look for a wipe I place my hand on my wiggleyworm baby to make sure that she doesn't flip herself off the changing table. Just makes sense to me. I don't use the straps on the changing pad (although I should, and admitting this will probably get me attacked, meh), but I keep a hand on my child at all times, and like eowynmn, if I absolutely need to leave the changing table I take her with me, diapered or not. Yeah, I've been peed on, big deal. But my daughter has NEVER fallen off the changing table.

Kateysomething · January 2009

Ugh, Sorry about the duplicate post. I only hit the button once, I swearz.

Lori - You are obtuse as anything. It makes my heard hurt. Go on with your bad self.

Kateysomething · January 2009

breezey2323:

Nope, Katey. ABM was refering to JOE. Her husband read the post above yours.

I disagree - I really think she was referring to Joes, not JOE. But I could be mistaken. In which case, I see your point.

Mrs. Ready. · January 2009

i've only read through about half the replies, so forgive me if this has been mentioned.

for starters, i agree with the OP BUT whats the point of totally berating a mom that already, i'm sure, feels like shiit b/c their kid rolled off a bed, changing table, what have you?

brandonswife07 · January 2009

SuperCuteBenz:

My DD fell off the changing table yesterday. I was standing right next to her when it happened. I didn't turn my back or walk away and it still happened. It was the worst feeling ever watching her cry.

Maybe you should call CPS on me. I must be a terrible, terrible mom.

i've said this time & time again. my DS fell off ME onto the floor while we were both sleeping on the couch.

i felt horrible. it was an accident. i was right there. what category do i fall into here?

breezey2323 · January 2009

Kateysomething:
breezey2323:

Nope, Katey. ABM was refering to JOE. Her husband read the post above yours.

I disagree - I really think she was referring to Joes, not JOE. But I could be mistaken. In which case, I see your point.

She said b/c she's still calling him an idiot...

mollyosmom · January 2009

An "accident" by definition I supppose means it was not intentional. In that vein both the idiot who walks away from her kid on the changing table/bathtub and the parent whose toddler falls and bumps his face on the floor when learning to walk are both "accidents". However th one is TOTALLY preventable and the other is likely inevitable.

MrsTotty · January 2009

I guess I'm a little confused ... did the OP say she wasn't a bad mommy? My kid hasn't fallen off a changing table (because like Creamy, I always keep a hand on his belly ... I take him with me and usually get peed on) ... but he has taken a couple of spills. Sometimes they are my fault (like the stroller incident) and sometimes they aren't. Either way I feel like the lowest person on Earth because I always feel like there was SOMETHING I should have been doing (ie: holding in my arms in a padded room while wearing a snowsuit).

I dunno, I just feel like regardless of whether it was a negligent act or not, I still feel super crappy about it. Hopefully the OP does as well.

breezey2323 · January 2009

brandonswife07:
SuperCuteBenz:

My DD fell off the changing table yesterday. I was standing right next to her when it happened. I didn't turn my back or walk away and it still happened. It was the worst feeling ever watching her cry.

Maybe you should call CPS on me. I must be a terrible, terrible mom.

i've said this time & time again. my DS fell off ME onto the floor while we were both sleeping on the couch.

i felt horrible. it was an accident. i was right there. what category do i fall into here?

I think that this makes you negligent. BAD, BAD MOMMY!

Wink

*Bre* · January 2009

brandonswife07:
SuperCuteBenz:

My DD fell off the changing table yesterday. I was standing right next to her when it happened. I didn't turn my back or walk away and it still happened. It was the worst feeling ever watching her cry.

Maybe you should call CPS on me. I must be a terrible, terrible mom.

i've said this time & time again. my DS fell off ME onto the floor while we were both sleeping on the couch.

i felt horrible. it was an accident. i was right there. what category do i fall into here?

You probably should have laid him down if you were dozing off.

*Bre* · January 2009

MrsTotty:
I guess I'm a little confused ... did the OP say she wasn't a bad mommy? My kid hasn't fallen off a changing table (because like Creamy, I always keep a hand on his belly ... I take him with me and usually get peed on) ... but he has taken a couple of spills. Sometimes they are my fault (like the stroller incident) and sometimes they aren't. Either way I feel like the lowest person on Earth because I always feel like there was SOMETHING I should have been doing (ie: holding in my arms in a padded room while wearing a snowsuit).

I dunno, I just feel like regardless of whether it was a negligent act or not, I still feel super crappy about it. Hopefully the OP does as well.

I was just going to put that I always have a hand on Ds too.

SuperCuteBenz · January 2009

Kateysomething:
SuperCuteBenz:

My DD fell off the changing table yesterday. I was standing right next to her when it happened. I didn't turn my back or walk away and it still happened. It was the worst feeling ever watching her cry.

Maybe you should call CPS on me. I must be a terrible, terrible mom.

I think you must know that isn't what Mollyos is talking about. THAT is the definition of an accident. You did everything you could and it still happened. It probably didn't help knowing you'd done everything you could, though, because nothing helps when our babies are hurting.

Yes, it was an accident. However, I am going to guess that some ladies on here would still call me a bad mother, because that would never happen to them of course. I didn't even leave my baby and she still fell. Was I taking all the precaution that I could have been? Maybe not. I don't use the changing table strap, my changing pad isn't secured to the dresser, etc

However, nothing changes the fact that it was an accident, and I already feel crappy about it, so I don't need anyone pointing out that I "might" be a crappy mom. KWIM?

Temp174496125006552 · January 2009

This thread is giving me a headache. But I totally see mollyosmom's point. Don't make bad decisions and leave your child in a position where they can get hurt. Of course accidents happen...but that's not what she's referring to here.

brandonwsife~ I hear you. Ben woke up in the middle of the night a few months back and I put him in bed with me. He woke upwithout me noticing, managed to push both of the pillows I had next to him out of the way and rolled onto the floor...all while I was still sleeping. All I heard was 'THUD' and him screaming bloody murder. I still feel guilty as hell about it.

Jettaky · January 2009

brandonswife07:
SuperCuteBenz:

My DD fell off the changing table yesterday. I was standing right next to her when it happened. I didn't turn my back or walk away and it still happened. It was the worst feeling ever watching her cry.

Maybe you should call CPS on me. I must be a terrible, terrible mom.

i've said this time & time again. my DS fell off ME onto the floor while we were both sleeping on the couch.

i felt horrible. it was an accident. i was right there. what category do i fall into here?

In my opinion if you knew you were going to fall asleep you should have taken the appropriate precautions to protect your child from falling

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