PSA: It does NOT happen to "everyone"

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SCB~ for the record, you are not a bad mom. 

1MusicMaker

Here's the thing: 

when anything bad happens to your child, you feel like crap. That's a given-it doesn't matter if someone was teasing him/her at school, if they fell over while practicing sitting up, or if they fell off of a changing table.  The point is that you should take all precautions necessary to do the best you can to prevent things that are stupid and avoidable.  That doesn't make you perfect, it makes you competent.  And this includes keeping one hand on your baby at all times when they are on a high surface and not turning away-even for a second.

Kateysomething

In the first few weeks, I could ONLY get DD to sleep if she was on my c hest. Thus, the only way *I* could sleep is if she was on my chest.  I slept in the living room for two weeks (at least) so I would be on the couch, which was far lower to the ground than my bed.

*Bre*

seans_grl:

This thread is giving me a headache.  But I totally see mollyosmom's point.  Don't make bad decisions and leave your child in a position where they can get hurt.  Of course accidents happen...but that's not what she's referring to here. 

brandonwsife~ I hear you. Ben woke up in the middle of the night a few months back and I put him in bed with me.  He woke upwithout me noticing, managed to push both of the pillows I had next to him out of the way and rolled onto the floor...all while I was still sleeping.  All I heard was 'THUD' and him screaming bloody murder.  I still feel guilty as hell about it. 

 

I second this too. Sleep deprivation skews our ability to hawkeye everything our babies are doing.

shakespearenluv

For me, this post has accomplished making me feel like the most horrible mom in the world.  It's as if you're saying that if a mom did contribute to an accident like their child falling by turning away for a minute, which ultimately I did, that they actually wanted it to happen.  This is totally false.  I cried for two days after my son rolled off the sofa in the blink of an eye.

I really hope you have someone to break your fall when you tumble from your pedestal of golden mommyhood.

weebaby

the best part of this whole thing is that someone thinks mollyosmom hasnt been around for long.

i guess they will say the same about me.

the "accident" sounds like the kid in my class who uses this same term...

 

HawaiiBrideGrm

LoriFalce:

Hm. Okay.

So when something inevitably happens to your child. Whacks forehead on the coffee table. Slips crawling up the steps and splits a lip. Evades you for half a second and swallows a button. That kind of thing. When that INEVITABLY happens, we will know that you're just a bad mom. Like the rest of us. Right?

I agree, Lori! Notice that all of those who replied SO FAR have kids who are not yet walking (most likely). Just wait!!! My DD hasn't fallen off of any surface yet, and I agree that falling from a changing table is usually b/c parents are trying to multi-task a little too much, but I'm sure something similar will happen eventually. Crap just does.

breezey2323

shakespearenluv:

For me, this post has accomplished making me feel like the most horrible mom in the world.  It's as if you're saying that if a mom did contribute to an accident like their child falling by turning away for a minute, which ultimately I did, that they actually wanted it to happen.  This is totally false.  I cried for two days after my son rolled off the sofa in the blink of an eye.

I really hope you have someone to break your fall when you tumble from your pedestal of golden mommyhood.

Aww! ((HUG)) And I am going to tell you that's happened to plenty of people. You are not a bad mom. Although it wasn't a lesson that should have happened, I bet you're all the more careful since then. Preventable or not it was an accident. Please don't feel bad.

Jays-n-Shane

I seriously think this every time I see one of these posts.  I understand things happen while you're right there.  DD slipped in the tub and bonked her head last week.  I was helping her sit back down (she is learning no standing in the tub), and was holding her chest.  Total accident, not negligence.  We gave up on the changing table when DD starting wiggling more just because I was afraid she would fall. 

falling off furniture doesn't happen to everyone.  98% of the time it happens to people who don't take tne necessary precautions.

Brandonswife - you shouldn't have slept on the couch with baby on you.  That's a preventable fall.

Kateysomething

HawaiiBrideGrm:

LoriFalce:

Hm. Okay.

So when something inevitably happens to your child. Whacks forehead on the coffee table. Slips crawling up the steps and splits a lip. Evades you for half a second and swallows a button. That kind of thing. When that INEVITABLY happens, we will know that you're just a bad mom. Like the rest of us. Right?

I agree, Lori! Notice that all of those who replied SO FAR have kids who are not yet walking (most likely). Just wait!!! My DD hasn't fallen off of any surface yet, and I agree that falling from a changing table is usually b/c parents are trying to multi-task a little too much, but I'm sure something similar will happen eventually. Crap just does.

Uhhhhhhhhhh - Except Mollyos has THREE kids, two of whom have been walking for years. Soo...yeah, good try, but no.

HawaiiBrideGrm

shakespearenluv:

I hope you have someone to break your fall when you tumble from your pedestal of golden mommyhood.

OMG that quote is classic! Can I quote you? LOL

mollyosmom

For the record I never called anyone a "bad mom" and I never said I was perfect or that my kids don't get hurt or have accidents. Re-read the OP again if you doubt that. I was talking about PREVENTION. But some will clearly never understand that. And, as I said those that are flaming me and calling me names are those that will continue to put their children in risky situations and shrug it off saying it's okay because everyone does it. I thought that keeping a hand and an eye on your child when they were in a potentially dangerous situation was common sense. I guess I was wrong. And no matter what I say you will think that what you are doing is fine. Until it's your kid that gets hurt. And you could have prevented it. Then the Subject Line will once again read: OMG He fell off the Changing Table... I only walked away for a second.

HawaiiBrideGrm

Good for her. Then she's the one in a bazillion! And she has the right to post something like this. But she should know that she will get bombarded with replies just as she has.

I am a healthcare provider and I hear this all the time, so it certainly DOES happen. Accidents do happen. People learn from their mistakes. If accidents keep happening, that's a whole different story.

Note my original reply: "I agree that falling from a changing table is usually b/c parents are trying to multi-task a little too much, but I'm sure something similar will happen eventually."

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Notice that all of those who replied SO FAR have kids who are not yet walking (most likely). Just wait!!!

Um, I have a 15 year old.  Last I checked, she knows how to walk.

CreamPuff06

HawaiiBrideGrm:

Good for her. Then she's the one in a bazillion! And she has the right to post something like this. But she should know that she will get bombarded with replies just as she has.

I am a healthcare provider and I hear this all the time, so it certainly DOES happen. Accidents do happen. People learn from their mistakes. If accidents keep happening, that's a whole different story.

Note my original reply: "I agree that falling from a changing table is usually b/c parents are trying to multi-task a little too much, but I'm sure something similar will happen eventually."

Please go back and read the original post a little closer.  Then perhaps you will know what you are talking about.

Jettaky

CreamPuff06:

HawaiiBrideGrm:

Good for her. Then she's the one in a bazillion! And she has the right to post something like this. But she should know that she will get bombarded with replies just as she has.

Please go back and read the original post a little closer.  Then perhaps you will know what you are talking about.

ditto

mollyosmom

Hawaii if you work in the healthcare field and you see it all the time then I am sure you tell patients all the time to "never walk away" "it only takes a second" "accidents can be prevented" blah blah blah. And I can guarantee that a handful of people on here whining that I think I am perfect (which of course I do not) will go home and not follow the advice any healthcare practitioner will give you. I'm quite sure it's even in the literature that hospitals send home with new moms. And on the "New Mom Vidoeo" that most hospitals now make new parents watch and SIGN OFF ON that they watched and understood. You never know when your baby might roll over/scoot/crawl/walk for the first time. So why take the chance that it might be now and walk away?

franciscaz

LoriFalce:

Hm. Okay.

So when something inevitably happens to your child. Whacks forehead on the coffee table. Slips crawling up the steps and splits a lip. Evades you for half a second and swallows a button. That kind of thing. When that INEVITABLY happens, we will know that you're just a bad mom. Like the rest of us. Right?

Just wait till your baby starts walking.  I go beyond what most moms do.  I have toilets, oven, pantry, tub faucet, cabinets all locked.  Cords all wrapped and out of reach.  No coffee table even... and my beautiful little boy HEAVEN HELP ME still has a bruise or cut on him every single day.  Yesterday he decided on his own "I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO GET ON THE COUCH".  He did great getting on... but getting off was not so good.  I was in the middle of dishes and it all happend in less than 1 minute.  But face it, a kid does need to learn how to get on or off a couch.  I don't think I should hinder his development b/c I am scared for him to fall.  Otherwise he never would have learned to walk.

I'm just saying, I agree we must all do our very best to have a safe child proof home.  BUT life does happen and so I'm not going to blame myself for every little thing.  Accidents do happen.

*Bre*

*francisca*:

LoriFalce:

Hm. Okay.

So when something inevitably happens to your child. Whacks forehead on the coffee table. Slips crawling up the steps and splits a lip. Evades you for half a second and swallows a button. That kind of thing. When that INEVITABLY happens, we will know that you're just a bad mom. Like the rest of us. Right?

Just wait till your baby starts walking.  I go beyond what most moms do.  I have toilets, oven, pantry, tub faucet, cabinets all locked.  Cords all wrapped and out of reach.  No coffee table even... and my beautiful little boy HEAVEN HELP ME still has a bruise or cut on him every single day.  Yesterday he decided on his own "I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO GET ON THE COUCH".  He did great getting on... but getting off was not so good.  I was in the middle of dishes and it all happend in less than 1 minute.  But face it, a kid does need to learn how to get on or off a couch.  I don't think I should hinder his development b/c I am scared for him to fall.  Otherwise he never would have learned to walk.

I'm just saying, I agree we must all do our very best to have a safe child proof home.  BUT life does happen and so I'm not going to blame myself for every little thing.  Accidents do happen.

I think most of us agreed that toddling and independent exploration are different than leaving a rolly poley on a changing table. If you had set your son on the counter and then proceeded to do the dishes with your back turned and out of reach, then this would qualify under "preventable fall"

breezey2323

I just want to be post # 100. Do I win something?

mollyosmom

Yes Breezy you win the Puppies and Rainbows prize for today. Nicely done.

breezey2323

mollyosmom:

Yes Breezy you win the Puppies and Rainbows prize for today. Nicely done.

SCORE!

mollyosmom

Aww I've missed playing with ya Breezy   Your son is adorable.

breezey2323

mollyosmom:

Aww I've missed playing with ya Breezy   Your son is adorable.

Oh garsh...thanks!

eowynmn

mollyosmom:

Aww I've missed playing with ya Breezy   Your son is adorable.

 

*cough*

That's fakebreezy to you. 

HawaiiBrideGrm

Agreed. As I said before, most "rolling-off-the-changing-table" accidents happen b/c people are multi-tasking when they shouldn't be. Period. Please note that I said most. Some parents, on the other hand, are neglectful, that's for sure (sadly). But I don't think that parents *in general* who have kiddos who have fallen off of the changing table can ALL be labeled as neglectful. If so, we'd have a lot of mamas in jail and their children in the foster system.

lacinae

I dont see that you ever replied directly to her post?!  If you have so much to say about this..... And I do have to lol at the "pedastal of golden mommyhood"

mollyosmom

Hawaii-- I didn't use the term "neglectful". I said "negligent". Meaning not as careful in that particular instance as he/she should have been. NOT that he/she is a neglectful parent in general who needs to be referred to CPS. That is absurd.

 Lacinae-- I did not reply in the original post because 1) I read it long after she posted and didn't think she would even see it and 2) This was not directed at her really--- more at everyone else who responded saying it's okay, no big deal, we all do it. Hence the subject line "PSA". I think it is a disservice to all parents to just brush incidents like that off because the parent feels bad. Talking about it PREVENTS future incidents.

breezey2323

eowynmn:

mollyosmom:

Aww I've missed playing with ya Breezy   Your son is adorable.

 

*cough*

That's fakebreezy to you. 

Don't hate LOTR. Don't hate.

femmeftle9

I'll confess, my DD has fallen off the bed a few times, and off the changing table once. With the changing table, I was sitting right in front of it, folding a cloth diaper. That was the worst.

DH of course threw at me the "DD has NEVER fallen off the bed when I'm home." Then, she fell off the bed with him... of course he waited until the end of the day to tell me.

Have I learned my lesson? Yes. If she has a messy poopy diaper, I usually get everything together & prepped before I even place her on the changing table. I wait until I'm finished before I go dump out the poop in the toilet. I try to make sure that I have everything I need before her bath, before I put her in the tub.

So go ahead, call me a bad mommy, call CPS.

lacinae

You absolutely can not prevent ALL accidents. Thats why they are called ACCIDENTS. I would love to know when you encounter one with you children!! Then you will understand " things to do happen to everyday normal GOOD PARENTS!"

KittenGator

sfl. I know, that seems b!tchy, but I'm still sfl

breezey2323

KittenGator:

sfl. I know, that seems b!tchy, but I'm still sfl

Kitten I can safely say you are the least b!tchy thing about this thread.

CreamPuff06

lacinae:

You absolutely can not prevent ALL accidents. Thats why they are called ACCIDENTS. I would love to know when you encounter one with you children!! Then you will understand " things to do happen to everyday normal GOOD PARENTS!"

Why don't you read through the entire original post and come back when you can answer in a comprehensive way?  You, as many other have, missed the point of her post and her consequent follow-up posts.  No one said that, and no one claimed to be able to prevent accidents.  She's talking about something else entirely.

CoastieWife08

Scarlett fell off of the bed because I walked away while changing her.

I could have avoided it.

That made me feel a million times worse than if it had been something like falling over while learning to sit up.  Those bumps are expected. 

I will NEVER again walk away from her like that. Never.

Carifly

CreamPuff06:

lacinae:

You absolutely can not prevent ALL accidents. Thats why they are called ACCIDENTS. I would love to know when you encounter one with you children!! Then you will understand " things to do happen to everyday normal GOOD PARENTS!"

Why don't you read through the entire original post and come back when you can answer in a comprehensive way?  You, as many other have, missed the point of her post and her consequent follow-up posts.  No one said that, and no one claimed to be able to prevent accidents.  She's talking about something else entirely.

As I see it, the post is saying that you should be careful and not be stupid and leave your child unattended in dangerous situations, like on the changing table and in the bathtub.  I think everyone seems to agree that is true.  The issue is the condescending way that she (and you, and others) have said it.  Even people who make bad mistakes aren't inherently bad people, at least in my mind (but maybe not in yours).    

But I suppose drama is what keeps this board entertaining, no matter how much people complain about it...

CreamPuff06

Carifly:

As I see it, the post is saying that you should be careful and not be stupid and leave your child unattended in dangerous situations, like on the changing table and in the bathtub.  I think everyone seems to agree that is true.  The issue is the condescending way that she (and you, and others) have said it.  Even people who make bad mistakes aren't inherently bad people, at least in my mind (but maybe not in yours).    

But I suppose drama is what keeps this board entertaining, no matter how much people complain about it...

You're the only one with this issue, and I NEVER said anyone was a bad parent - PLEASE show me where I said that.  Do not put words in my mouth that I had no intention of saying, and FYI, you are way oversensitive if you can't handle a post like this.  Get over it and move on.

Carifly

CreamPuff06:

ABMcKinney:

LoriFalce:

To say that "accidents" are different from preventable things is ridiculous.

Accidents are unintentional, but unless you're talking about a lightning strike, earthquake or other act of nature, there is always something you could have done to avoid it. It's just something you forgot to do, or thought you could get away without doing at the time.

And at what point does constant vigilance let up? Why is it okay for a toddler to fall? Why isn't Ubermom there to pick her up before she hits the ground?

I would think a social worker/mo3 would realize the nature of accidents and reality more.

It's like you're a special kind of idiot today. That is NOT what she's saying!!!! The bottom line is that putting your child in a situation that could potentially seriously hurt or kill the child is irresponsible and it's your job as a parent to prevent it. SO DON'T PUT YOUR KID ON THE COUCH/BED/CHANGING TABLE AND TURN YOUR BACK.

I don't know if the caps will help or not, but I agree completely.  It's mind-boggling that people think falling off a changing table is the same as falling while learning to walk.  The first one is preventable simply by paying attention; the second may be preventable should you want to follow your child with a pillow, but how would they learn?  And what exactly will a kid learn from falling off the changing table?  Mom's an inattentive moron?  That's a GREAT lesson!

Hmm...in my mind calling someone an "inattentive moron" is along the same lines of calling someone a bad parent, although perhaps not as nice.