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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
PSA: It does NOT happen to "everyone"
Okay I know I will be flamed for this. But I am also sure those protesting and yelling at me will be those who I am aiming this at anyway.
It makes me CRAZY when someone posts that they did something "unsafe" with their child and everyone pipes in saying, "OH it's okay hon. EVERYone does that. It happens to the best of us". Um no, it does not. We ALL know that we should never walk or turn away from a baby who is up on a changing table, couch, chair, insert other high surface... or when the baby is in or near water. Not to "grab a sock I forgot" or the shampoo, or to tend to another child or to answer the phone. If you do, and as a consequence your child gets hurt then YES it was preventable and YES it was your fault. I have three children, and none of them have ever fallen or been hurt in the water as a result of my negligence. We all know it only takes one time. Seconds.
It's the same thing with all that bathseat controversy or Vick's Vaporrub scare or any other child-related product. Read the instructions. Use it properly. Read the safey warnings-- and ADHERE them. Who the heck puts Vicks up their infant's nose... or walks away from the bathtub to go answer the phone because the baby is sitting in a bathseat??
I know accidents happen. I know a child can fall off of a high surface when you are standing right in front of them because they are wiggly and mobile. But if my kid ever got hurt, and I had NOT done everything in my power to prevent it I could never forgive myself. If I did everything I could, and they still got injured so be it. But at least I know I gave it my best, and used common sense, and did not walk away.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: PSA: It does NOT happen to "everyone"
Hm. Okay.
So when something inevitably happens to your child. Whacks forehead on the coffee table. Slips crawling up the steps and splits a lip. Evades you for half a second and swallows a button. That kind of thing. When that INEVITABLY happens, we will know that you're just a bad mom. Like the rest of us. Right?
I agree. My child has not fallen off of any high surface because
I. am. always. there.
Ditto this.
:: hands you the 110% cookie ::
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
Common sense is good. Of course you should do everything you mentioned above. However, MOST of us aren't perfect parents, and we sometimes do things that we shouldn't without thinking. Sometimes bad things happen because of it. That doesn't mean that we're not to blame for our actions of course, but it also doesn't mean that we are inherently bad parents because of it.
You, on the other hand, sound like the perfect parent! Congrats to you for never having done anything on accident that you shouldn't have, I hope the rest of your life goes just as smoothly. We should all strive to be just like you.
Here's how I feel about it:
I think this post was totally unnecessary. Now that you've patted yourself on the back do you feel just that much better?
My child has never fallen off a high surface or anything like that and I DO make sure to not leave him unattended...EVER. That said, when that stuff does happen - the mom in the situation must feel terrible. I'm sure the OP was beating herself up, and here you come to kick her when she's down. Good job! Congrats on being perfect. What's that like?
No that's different. That's not leaving a child on a changing table unattended or in the bathtub (did someone do this?!). Those are things you KNOW you shouldn't do, but still do cause you are lazy or have your priorities f-ed up. Thigns like crawling up the steps if you are there and they split a lip happen, otherwise that's what baby gates are for. Also, same goes for leaving loose buttons around the house. Hopefully you don't leave chokables around your baby. It's part of the parenting responisbility. Accidents happen, but if you can knowingly prevent it and go against the better judgement -t hat's what molly's is talking about.
It's not that the moms on here don't take responsibility for their mistakes. Sometimes it's nice to know you're not the only one who forgot for a split second that a choice was unsafe.
Kudos to you for being a perfect parent though. I hope the rest of your time parenting goes just as perfectly. I wouldn't want you to ever feel like a bad parent.
1Music- Yes, I know she's referring specifically to the "just for a second" thing. But that happens for a reason. Because people are human. And I think that this kind of attitude sets up a "this could never happen to me" mentality that is 1) wrong, because emergency rooms are full of good parents who BLINKED and something happened, and 2) will lead to a lot of unnecessary stress when something does happen.
Good parents are still human. That doesn't mean you don't try to be as careful as you can, but you have to realize that you only have two hands, two eyes, and can't control gravity or bend space/time.
And being self-righteous about it makes people want to sit back and wait for the inevitable "OMG DC rolled off the couch when I sneezed and my eyes closed involuntarily" post.
Dude, I feel so crappy about the mouse sliding out of the stroller the other day. I swear to gawd I'm going to padlock the kid into his stroller until he's 8 now.
Meh. Definitely my fault. But I have forgiven myself. He is fine, and I learned my leasson the hard way. It sucked big time.
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
ditto this. (wow, this is the first time I've been able to "ditto" you without risking adopting unintended snarkiness)
Those examples are apples to oranges - you're using accidents to illustrate when she is clearly talking about preventable falls and injuries. Nothing to do with giving 110%, just using your common sense. What can't wait the few minutes you're at the changing table? And if you need something so bad then pick up your kid and take him or her with you, it's not that hard.
Maybe you do need that baby bumper hat...
Seriously people. The OP was not trying to tell everyone they have to be "perfect." She merely said that you should not be negligent. There is a ?huge difference and a HUGE middle ground. Some accidents are preventable. Some are inevitable on the way to reaching milestones (i.e. falling down while learning to walk). IMO falling off the changing table or drowning is not a rite of passage.?
Chill out. ?
I really don't think you're "doing all you can" unless your kid is wearing one of these:
https://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=148756&parentCategoryId=85183&categoryId=85216&subCategoryId=86202
ha!
LOL!!! (blows kisses to Manners)
So, you've never had a brief lapse in judgment? turned your back when maybe you shouldn't have?
I agree, it doesn't happen to everyone. DD has never fallen off of anything. But, I also don't judge those that it has happened to. If it happens multiple times then maybe they deserve to be judged. But, I can almost guarantee you that, if it happens once, 99% of moms will be sure to do everything in their power to keep it from happening again.
this. exactly. well said.
Laugh all you want.... Molly has been around for a VERY long time.
LMAO - that's funny. You guys talk like mollyosmom hasn't been around forever. She had at least 5000 posts before the switch...she's just been busy raising umm 3 kids. Nice try though chickies.
Totally agree
lol @ the bumper bonette. Mikey needs one of those desperately. He has a big head. His center of gravity is all F'd up.
To say that "accidents" are different from preventable things is ridiculous.
Accidents are unintentional, but unless you're talking about a lightning strike, earthquake or other act of nature, there is always something you could have done to avoid it. It's just something you forgot to do, or thought you could get away without doing at the time.
And at what point does constant vigilance let up? Why is it okay for a toddler to fall? Why isn't Ubermom there to pick her up before she hits the ground?
I would think a social worker/mo3 would realize the nature of accidents and reality more.
She is NOT talking about ACCIDENTS - she is talking about walking away from your kid on a high surface or in a bathtub, or similar situations. You are still comparing apples to oranges and have completely missed the point. She's also not claiming to be perfect, so the lot of you rolling your eyes need to knock the chip from your shoulder and then quite possibly you'll see the common sense of this post. Talk about self-righteous.
Fail. She said she does everything in her power to prevent it. *** happens. "***" does not include DUH common sense stuff that we all know we shouldn't do.
FWIW I have "grabbed a sock" once or twice. Each time I do it I say a prayer the whole time that I am not one of those jackasses who lives to regret a split second their whole life.
It's like you're a special kind of idiot today. That is NOT what she's saying!!!! The bottom line is that putting your child in a situation that could potentially seriously hurt or kill the child is irresponsible and it's your job as a parent to prevent it. SO DON'T PUT YOUR KID ON THE COUCH/BED/CHANGING TABLE AND TURN YOUR BACK.